The rest of the day was weird for me.  I kept forgetting that I had met parkpineapple, but kept getting reminded that I had by seeing Hana around everywhere - in all my classes, in the hallways, in home room and after school. I felt indifferent toward her because now I knew she wasn't really the best looking person. But as I thought more about it, she wasn't really ugly either. It was like she was in the middle between extremes of hot and ugly. Which might have explained how I never really noticed her before because I only went for the hot ones. But the more and more I thought about it, and when asking myself if I could accept her for who she was, looks and all, the more repulsed I became. Chaeyeon, the hottest and most famous ulzzang of Seoul, was the only girl for me.

There was a nagging feeling inside me, though. I knew that after what I did at the assembly, we could never talk again. I doubted she wanted to talk to me anymore, even though I wanted to talk to her. I needed to talk to her. We had spoken everyday since Janurary, and now we wouldn't speak at all anymore. It would, naturally, take some adjusting to. She was probably too intimidated by me and probably also a little angry at me for embarrassing her infront of the school like that.

 But I needed to talk to her, because she was the only person who knew about my brother. I still couldn't talk to the guys or Chaeyeon about it because they were still iffy about, well, talking about things. They were both more physical in their approach. My parents were always at work....leaving Hana the only one I could tell.
What had I dug myself into? I didn't know if Hana only agreed with me on everything we liked or if she was just faking it. It didn't seem to me at the time that she was, but then again, people could be great liars these days.

I was still feeling neutral at the end of the day toward the whole thing - to it up and apologise and keep a good friend, or to leave the whole situation alone because it had already gone too far? It was impossible for a Nam Woohyun to be friends with a Kim Hana at this school. Right now? I was leaning toward the second option. But I still needed to think about everything because it seemed to have happened too fast. One minute I was excited to meet her, and the next minute I felt uncomfortable and a little embarrassed for her at the assembly. I brushed it off, though. I had more important things to think about than my virtual partner, like homework, football and my brother.

As I walked home, I tried to imagine myself in Hana's shoes. She probably didn't have a lot of friends, or even guy friends. Did she fall for me? I knew she had a weak heart that wasn't really sensible at times. Did she feel exposed? When she found out I was choiapple? If I was her then.....yes I would. I would be feeling extremely exposed and vulnerable because she put her faith in me and I just threw it away. She also probably thought that everything I said to her was a lie, and that I was just mucking around because I was Nam Woohyun. She probably thought that every conversation we had was with the guys behind me, telling me to sweet talk her so she could fall deeper in love and fall deeper into the depths of despair when we met up. Did I sweet talk her? I probably did. But these things can't be helped - I am a natural sweet talker. I sweet talk my mother, for God's sake. It was in my blood.

I started on my homework once I got home. It was a physics assignment that was due in a month, but I just wanted to start it now. Physics calculations soothed my soul and would distract me from thinking about other, unnecessary things. Like Hana. But, I wondered, would she ever come speak to me? I wished she did so I wouldn't have to swallow my pride and make the first move. It was harder for me, because I was Nam Woohyun. If I ever was caught talking to her - that would be social suicide, no joke. I shook my head. I need to concentrate now, I thought.

E=mc2. Explain this formula and it's use.
I started to write down the answer in the space provided. As I wrote though, my mind wandered back to Hana. I didn't think she was brave enough to talk to me though. She seemed pretty shy and quiet in class, even when the teacher asks her things she got startled - I noticed today in chemistry. Shy people wouldn't approach others right? Especially if he was the most handsome, popular guy in school?

I hit my head with my fist. Why was I even thinking of this?! I didn't want her to come talk to me. And I didn't want to go talk to her. I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my sorrow about my brother. But deep down inside, I think I knew I needed her. The feeling just needed time to surface.