cant wayt for tonite baby

I looked at my phone in disgust. Even after graduation, would Chaeyeon still hold onto me like this? Everything would be different now; she would be attending a beauty college and I would be going to university. Our circle of friends were no longer the same and we would no longer know the same people. No one would know our past – my past. I could move on now. But did Chaeyeon have to continue to be like this? I was beginning to think that her threats to Hana were a sign of desperation and insecurity. Aish, I thought. I should have seen this earlier. She didn’t care at all for Hana, except for the fact that she was the one who I broke up with her for.

I got dressed mindlessly as I thought of what I could say to Chaeyeon to tell her, nicely, to go away and leave me alone. If she wasn’t such a in threatening Hana and giving the both of us such a hard time, I wouldn’t be so bitter toward her. I would feel sorry for her, because all she knew how to do was get dirty and drunk every weekend. No doubt she would try to beg me to take her back, but I needed to resist her threats and temptations.

             I would do it tonight. Break up with Chaeyeon tonight. Tell her that everything is over. If she threatened Hana once more, it would be an empty threat because they would no longer be in the same class, same school. As far as I knew, Hana was going to Australia for university. So she wouldn’t even be in the same hemisphere as Chaeyeon, so her ‘threats’ of ruining her would be irrelevant.

I didn’t want to go tonight. I didn’t want to be the one breaking up with someone twice. It was hard, because after all, I had been with Chaeyeon since grade ten when she won some ulzzang bikini competition. Honestly, I don’t know how I did it. Staying with someone for two years who only talked about herself and got drunk and spent all her money on designer things. Compared to before when Hana and I were on speaking terms, and I was happy, I didn’t know how I felt the same feeling of happiness when I was with Chaeyeon. I guess it showed how much I had changed, and I hadn’t realized it at all.

As I stepped inside the house - someone on my football team who was having a joint eighteenth birthday and graduation party – I felt arms drape around my neck and kisses being showered on my neck and lips. I carefully slipped myself out of Chaeyeon’s grip and excused myself to get a drink.

I looked closely at her – she was gone. Drunk. Wasted. She stumbled all over the place, and her eyes were unfocused a little. When I let her go, she fell, only to be supported by another guy from my football team who seemed to be extremely happy to be the one who caught her. When he saw me, he looked at me apologetically, as if to say sorry that he had touched my girlfriend, but I just shrugged and walked away. I didn’t care anymore. I needed to see Hana.

I slowly pushed my way through the crowd of people milling around the door and scanned the room with my eyes. It was hard enough that there were disco lights flashing excessively, but there were about two hundred people crammed inside. My eyes flickered over the dance floor as I tried to search for the girl who had stolen my heart. Where was she? I couldn’t see her, even after searching through over and over again. Did she even come tonight? Panic started to rise in my throat. I had been so looking forward to seeing her tonight, and if she wasn’t here, I was just going to leave. I needed to see her, or else I had no other purpose here.

“Kim Hana, where are you,” I whispered under my breath as I squeezed into the crowd of people, looking intently into their wasted faces before moving on. My heart was beating faster. I had searched almost the whole house, yet she was nowhere to be seen.

“Woohyun! You’re here!” Sunggyu exclaimed, coming down the stairs and seeing me, pulling me into a man hug. “What’s up! We’ve graduated! Yes! We made it! Wooooo!”
I chuckled. I had a suspicion that hyung had a little too much to drink.
“Yes we did,” I laughed, thumping him on the back. “Is Hanbyul here?” I tried to ask casually. Too casually. “What about Hana?”
Sunggyu narrowed his eyes at me. “You little – “ he punched me in the arm, smirking. “Just tell her how you feel, man. Stop trying to avoid it, or whatever. You only live once!” He yelled out suddenly. “Grow a pair, bro. What have you got to lose?”
“Chaeyeon,” I said bitterly. “She’s here tonight, too, hyung.”
He scoffed. “Pfft. Who cares about her. She’ll probably melt if the temperature gets over thirty degrees Celsius, she’s that plastic.”
I guffawed into my hand. “Hyung,” I cried, trying to hold in my laughter.
“It’s true!” He slurred. “I always liked Hana for you better. Where is she, by the way?”
I shrugged. “I was going to ask you that, hyung.”
“Dunno, bro. Find her soon,” he said, patting me on the back before walking away.
“Thanks,” I muttered bitterly.

I sighed as I went to kitchen to pour myself some juice. This was really a mission on it’s own. Find Hana. Find her, and tell her how I feel. Ask her out. Ask her to be my girlfriend. Ask her to be mine forever. Tell her that she’s beautiful everyday. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted it for not having of done it sooner, when we were on speaking terms, before Chaeyeon came into the picture. All those times when we were alone at the hospital when she came and visited me after school. All those times we hung out at the library, half studying, and half playing around. All those times we had talked online. All it took was me to swallow my pride and tell her. Hana, I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?
And everything would be good. Life would be perfect. But instead, because I was stupid for not realizing before and I was a coward and just dumb and thick, I was suffering.

I walked to the bathroom, cup in hand, to check my hair. People at the party were probably thinking, what’s Woohyun doing wandering around and looking at everyone’s faces for? Is he drunk or high? But honestly, I didn’t even care anymore. The bathroom door was closed, so I waited patiently for the person to come out. But after about fifteen minutes, they were still in there.
“Hello,” I asked, banging on the door. “Is there anyone in there? Are you okay?”
I tried the doorknob, and it turned easily, but there was something leaning against the door so I had to push a bit before it opened.
I grunted as it finally swung open, but only to see Chaeyeon and the guy that had caught her earlier on fully making out in bathroom. Vigorously. They stopped as soon as they saw me come in, and they jumped apart as if they had been electrocuted.
“Woohyun,” Chaeyeon said, wiping her lip, not even bothering to sound sorry. I looked at her. She stared back at me. I nodded a little, and she did too.
“Oh my God, Woohyun, I’m really sorry, man, I swear, it wasn’t what it looked like, oh my God…” The guy on my football team, Changhyun said.

I didn’t even know what to say, or how to react. But all I knew was that the thing between Chaeyeon and I was over. I saw it in her eyes, and I knew it was in my eyes. The look she had given me. The look I had given her. I knew there was a mutual understanding between us, and I was free.
“No worries, bro,” I said, clapping him on the back. He looked so confused at that moment, I actually wanted to laugh.
“What?” He asked uncertainly. “Don’t you want to kill me right now?”
I chuckled. Chaeyeon smiled. “Not at all, man. Get in there,” I said, winking before walking out.
“What the hell…?” I could ask him exclaim to Chaeyeon as I shut the door.
“Just shut up and kiss me,” she said before there was silence again.

I walked away from the bathroom and exhaled deeply. I was happy for Chaeyeon, I really was. She had finally found someone else to be with, be it making out with or a boyfriend. Now I was free from her tormenting and clinging, and I could focus fully on finding Hana.

“Oops, sorry,” I apologized as I bumped into someone I didn’t see walking my way.
My eyes widened, as did the person I had bumped into. I felt like time had stopped. It was Hana. There she was, standing in front of me. In flesh and blood, after I had thought about her so much lately. Here she was. Standing in front of me. She was wearing a simple black shirt with red jeans rolled up and black vans. And she looked beautiful. Compared to what the other girls were wearing tonight, or what they were not wearing, she looked like an angel. No joke.

“I – um, sorry, it-it was my fault, uh,” she stuttered. I just looked at her, not even caring or remembering anything that had happened these past few months. I was just happy to see her, happy that she was in front of me.
“Hana,” I said softly. She looked at me with tear filled eyes, and her bottom lip was trembling a little. I reached out and put my thumb on it to stop it from moving, but she just brushed it away. Hana took a deep breath before turning and walking away from me, but I grabbed her wrist and pulled her close into my body.

“Don’t go,” I whispered into her hair as we hugged tightly. I felt her tears staining my shirt but I didn’t care at all. “I’m so sorry, Hana.”
After a while, her tears stopped and we just stood there.. I don’t think we needed to say any words at all because what we shared was beyond words. From far away, I heard the DJ switch the song to a slow one so couples could dance.

I pulled my chest away from her a little.
“Want to dance?” I asked.
She nodded and I lead her into the middle of the dance floor. I took her hand and placed it on my shoulder while I put mine around her waist. I could feel her flinch a little bit and her breath catch in , but I didn’t care. Everything was perfect right now.

      The song ended too quickly. Before I knew it, we weren’t touching anymore. She had let go of my hand, and I felt cold.
“Hana,” I said once more, my eyes boring into hers. She looked at the floor, her eyes not meeting mine. “Let’s go to someone quieter.”
Without waiting for an answer, I grabbed her hand and entwined our fingers together. It felt just right, like our hands had been born to fit into each other’s.

I lead her to the garden. It was dark outside, not to mention freezing.
“Are you cold?” I asked her, taking off my jacket. “Here, put your arms out.”
Like a baby, she stuck out her arms and I helped out my blazer on her. It was a little too big for her, but I could tell it kept her warm because she stopped shivering against me.

We sat there for a while on the grass, revering in the silence. I pulled her close to me and hugged her, because I wanted to be as close as her as possible and also because I was feeling cold from the wind. She laid her head on my shoulder. I could feel her breathing evenly against me. I hoped she wouldn’t be able to feel or hear my heartbeat, hammering loudly in my ribcage.

I don’t know how long we sat there, both absorbed deeply into our own thoughts, before a long chiming from the city’s clock signaled it was midnight.

“Hana,” I said again. “It’s midnight.”
And with that, I leaned down and kissed her on the lips.