Over the next two months I was in hospital, Hana came to see me everyday after school, bringing with her my homework for the day and some snacks she bought from the convienience store like choco pies, lollies, potato chips, cookies, cake and donuts. She was quite reluctant to buy all those things for me, insisting the she looked like a pig buying it and it wasn't really healthy, but I used my aegyo and grease on her until she gave in.

"Hana, can you please buy me some donuts, chocolate and chips tomorrow? And some orange juice too, please?" I asked her cutely one day.
I saw her narrow her eyes at me and pout a little.
"Woohyun," she whined. "It's not healthy! Plus, that man at the shop always looks like me everyday as if one minute I'll balloon into the size of an obese person!"
She crossed her arms and huffed.
I sensed the need for some drastic measures.

"Ow," I pretended to groan, squeezing my eyes shut but secretly peering through my eyelids to watch her reaction. "My leg hurts so much! Argh," I clutched it in pain.
"Omgod!" She cried immediately, dropping everything and coming to my side. "Are you okay? Should I get the nurse?"
She frantically searched around my pillow for the nurse help button.
I pretended to sigh dramatically.
"No, it's okay Hana, don't worry. I'll be fine. I'll just try and go to sleep now, even though my leg hurts like hell."
She didn't say anything.
"Oh if only I had some delicious snacks to take my mind off this pain! Some donuts, chocolate and chips! How nice would that be?"
I sighed. "I guess I'll never know."

I the bed so my face wasn't showing to her. I heard her heave a sigh and I knew it had worked. I bit back a smile.
"Fine," she said somewhat forcedly, but I could hear she wasn't really angry. "I'll buy you all that stuff tomorrow, so you feel better."
"Yay!" I sat up immediately on my bed and clapped. "Kim Hana jjang!"

She bit her lip - I could tell she was trying hard not to laugh or smile, but I knew she couldn't resist it.

These two months in the hospital were really a good chance for us to get closer to each other without being awkward and exposed to everyone else. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized how I didn't even care how she looked, and the more I realised how I distanced myself further and further from the old me who was vain and judgmental. I really enjoyed Hana's company, but I was a little worried that lately, I had been spending too much time with her that I had forgotten about the other things in my life. Namely my old 'gitlfriend' Chaeyeon, and my brother Boohyun, who was still in a coma.
As soon as I thought of this, the smile disappeared off my face and I felt my heart plunge with disappointment and guilt. Wow. How could I have forgotten my brother, just like that? Hana had made me forget anything in my world that was bad - but in this situation, it wasn't good.

 I wanted to cry out loud and hit myself because I had been so stupid. I can't believe I forgot about Boohyun, but now I was in the hospital, it all came back to me. Chaeyeon, sure, I could forgot about her, no problem. But my own brother? I shuddered at the very thought. I felt ashamed.

The long nights I would spend here, wishing he would wake up. The long nights I spent here with him completing my homework until late in the night. The long nights I would spend with him here, telling him about my life even though he wasn't listening. The long nights I spent here, dwelling in my own guilt. Wow.
I wondered how I had even forgotten something that was so important in my life; yet here I was, thinking of him in the first time in over two months.

I was lost deep in thought. I guess it showed on my face I wasn't happy all of a sudden, or I had stopped replying to Hana in the conversation because she looked at me worriedly.
"Woohyun?" She asked me timidly. "Is everything, um, okay? Hello?"
She waved her hands infront of my eyes, which were probably dazed out.

No, I wanted to answer her. Everything is not okay. Ever since you came into my life, I've forgotten about all the bad and unhappy things that have happened in the past, which is bad because we need to remember the bad things in order to achieve good things. I felt so frustrated.

"Nothing," I answered her grumpily.
She frowned. "Obviously, there's something wrong. Does it hurt somewhere? Should I go get the nurse?"
I looked up and met her eyes. They were warm and full of concern. I sighed.
 I had forgotten this was Hana, who had seen me through my best and worst times. The Hana that had always been by my side - only I had never fully seen that, always hurting her unintentionally and treating her with less respect than she deserved.

"My brother." I spoke these two words only. A lump had formed in my throat, and I couldn't really say anything else.
I had forgotten this was Hana. My Hana. And, two words were all I needed to say.
Her eyes widened immediately. "Omo, Woohyun." She covered . "Have you..?"
I shook my head, unable to speak.
"Is he in here?"
I nodded again.

Silence. Our eyes met for a moment. I could sense she could feel my desperation, guilt and anger. Did she know I hadn't seen him for a while? She must have. She was with me here almost everyday, and I had made no mention of him.

"I'll be right back," she said, getting up immediately and walking out of them room toward the nurse's desk.
I sat there while she was gone, shivering. The guilt and conscience I felt right now was unexplainable. I wanted to die. How could I? What kind of brother was I? Was I even human? I could imagine hyung's face, looking right at me. His disappointed eyes. His cheerful smile, even though he hurt deep inside that I hadn't come - if he had woken up.

Hana came back shortly with a nurse, who was wheeling a wheelchair and a few supports.
"Get up," she said. "We're going to see your brother."
I gaped at her. How..?
"The nurse said you should be fine to move today. You should stretch your muscles anyway."
I opened my mouth and began to speak but she cut me off.
"Woohyun-ah, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. You've hardly been well to sit up in bed, let alone go to visit him. Stop feeling guilty!"

I looked up at her. The amount of gratitude I felt in that want toward Hana was unexplainable. I couldn't put it in words. I just - stared at her. Was that an appropriate way to say thankyou? I didn't know, but I was too overcome with emotion right now to really care. I was feeling guilty, angry, disappointed, sorry and thankful all at this one moment - I thought I might have exploded.

She helped me gingerly out of the bed and onto the wheelchair. My ribs hurt while I was sitting up because the rest of my body was putting pressure on them, but I didn't care. I needed to see Boohyun now or I would go crazy.

As Hana wheeled me into the lift, she whispered something in my ear.
"Do your ribs hurt, Woohyun? I learnt from school that sometimes your body puts pressure on broken ribs when they're broken. Does it hurt?"
My heart pounded in my chest. How did she know exactly what I was thinking, feeling, contemplating?
I shook my head bravely, trying to make as small a movement as possible.
"I'm fine, Hana," I said in a small voice. I squeezed my eyes tightly, trying to make the pain go away.
"The lift's here! Push me in," I commanded jokingly.

She chuckled and wheeled me in at full speed. Because the lift was one of the large ones capable of holding a whole patient bed, it was quite spacious inside.
"Wah!" I cried, laughing loudly as we whooshed inside the lift. "Faster!"
She wheeled me around the lift like I was a little kid. I squealed and smiled and laughed - I could hardly remember my aching rib while we whirled around the small but big lift.
"My arms are tired, Woohyun-ah," Hana complained to me after wheeling me around for less than a minute. "You're heavy!"
"Hey!" I protested. "It's not called being heavy. It's called being muscular!"
I saw her reflection in the mirror turn bright red. I chuckled - how cute! To make her more embarrassed, I winked greasily at her. She narrowed her eyes at me.

But all laughter and joy faded as soon as we entered the long term ward. The atmosphere here was serious and sad, as if any moment one of the nurses would whip out a stethoscope and measure my heart beat.
"Excuse me," Hana bowed politely to the nurse who was in charge. "We're here to see Nam Boohyun. I was wondering what room he is in?"
She eyed us suspiciously.
"I'm his brother," I explained. "My name is Nam Woohyun."
She nodded and led us around the corridor. Hana followed her quickly, pushing me along.

We stopped at the entrance of the door, and everything seemed to stop I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. My blood was pounding in my ears.

There lay my brother. Everything was exactly how I remembered it, except the heartbeat monitor that used to beep was now gone. He could breathe freely now, I remembered now that time the nurse told me, and he no longer needed oxygen to help him breathe.

"Woohyun, I'll just be waiting outside, okay?" I heard Hana whisper from what seemed like very far away.
I snapped out of my trance. All of a sudden, I felt frantic.
I grabbed onto her hand tightly.
She looked at me curiously.
"Hana," I managed to choke finally. "Please. Don't go. Stay with me. Please?"

I swallowed. Why was I tearing up right now? I needed to be a strong guy for her. I could even imagine hyung teasing me when he found out I cried infront of a girl. But I couldn't help it.

Hana had helped me this far - from the first time I had ever told her about my brother, until now - I needed her by my side, every minute. Every second.

Hana nodded as squeezed my hand. She took a deep breath and wheeled me inside. I didn't need her to wheel me inside - I needed her by my side. To support me. Always.