Will you still love me?

Mistakes… I’ve made many of them. And probably there are too many times for me to remember each time I made them. But those that I remember all too well are those mistakes I made towards you, those times when I broke your trust, those times I made you cry.

It upsets me every time tears stream down your face and it breaks my heart even more knowing I caused them. Your beautiful face, stricken with tears is too much for me too bear.    

I love you, I tell you that many times and I mean what I say each and every time I utter those words to you and yet there are times I betray you and make you cry. But despite my weakness as a man you still forgive me time and time again.

Sometimes I tell myself I don’t deserve you. Despite my faults you still love me unconditionally. I often ask myself, if I truly deserve you or is it better off for you to be with someone else. I can’t even tell others about us. Our relationship is a secret that only family and close friends know about. Even our colleagues at work are clueless. But believe me when I say that I want nothing more than to tell them that I love you, that you inspire me to keep living every day. That I can’t wait till the day I can profess my love for you in front of the whole world.

You told me I may look cold in the outside but I’m a complete hopeless romantic inside. I guess you’re right. You make me that way. I know you love me but I have fears and anxiety too. I’m worried that I might not be enough, that I may not be able to make you happy. I know you have been through a lot and despite your hardships unlike me you’ve been very strong. As fragile as you may look on the outside but between the two of us you’ve always been the tough one.

My sister told me you’re a keeper and that I would be out of my mind if I ever let you go. She’s absolutely right. I may not deserve you but I sure am lucky to still have you in my life.

As I finally gain consciousness. I see your tear stricken face and I feel ashamed of what I did. You’re talking to me but I couldn’t really make out the words. You were holding my hand. You were holding it tightly as if your life depended on it.

“Seung Hyun-ah, you’re finally awake,” you exclaimed. You wrapped me in your embrace and I felt safe. Your tiny frame filled me with warmth. I saw my sister and mom standing behind you. They look just as worried.

“Please don’t ever try to leave me again. I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you,” you muttered and I can feel the tremble in your voice as if you’re fighting back tears.

“I’m sorry,” were the first words that came out of my mouth.

“You’re alive, that’s all that matters,” you replied back. You h