Soori’s POV

Jaesun and I woke up quite early the next day and I scribbled a note explaining to Universe where we had gone before we left for the bus stop. We hid our faces under our hoods as we boarded the bus, but it was so early the only people riding were workers too tired to care about anything around them.

Jaesun fell asleep immediately on my shoulder.

I stared out the window, watching the scenery go past for a bit before pulling out a piece of paper and pen (carefully, so as not to disturb Jaesun) and began to scribble. A few minutes later I angrily ripped the paper out of the notebook and crumpled it before shoving it into my jacket pocket.

Why is that after so many years of training? I still haven’t been able to produce  satisfactory lyrics even once?!

The bus stopped again and I quickly rearranged my upset demeanor to one that was softer and happier as my sisters, Krystal and Jessica boarded the bus.

Krystal handed me two steaming cups of hot chocolate. She and Jessica were holding two cups of coffee themselves.

I gently shoved Jaesun to wake him up and when he blearily opened his eyes, I handed him the cup of hot chocolate and told him to drink up.

“You couldn’t get me a cup of coffee too?” I asked my sisters. I looked at my hot chocolate and said, “Don’t you think I’m a little too old for hot chocolate?”

Before Jessica could reply, Jaesun downed his hot chocolate in one and told me very seriously, or as seriously as you can with a whipped cream moustache, “No, Soori. You’re never too old for hot chocolate.” 

We got off about an hour later and made our way into a store nearby our destination and purchased large bouquets of flowers. Then, we headed up the mountainside until we finally arrived.

“Hello, Grandmother” I whispered softly before laying my flowers against the white stone that marked where my grandmother’s ashes lay.

Besides me, the other three also offered their flowers to here and Jessica tenderly touched the stone.

“It’s been too long since we visited, right?” Krystal said gently.

“Forgive us, we’ve just been so… so busy” Jessica said, “I know it’s a terrible excuse but, Grandmother, we’ve been trying so hard lately… All of us.”

“I want to see you…”Jaesun said quietly, “It’s not the same without you, Grandma. No one else understands… no one…”  Suddenly, Jaesun let out a sob.

“I miss you!” he blurted out and burst into tears as he wrapped his arms around the stone.

Krystal started to cry as well and Jessica wrapped an arm around her.

Suddenly, from Jaesun’s half-open backpack (which was on his back), Chu fell out and somehow, incredibly, landed right before Grandmother’s stone, bowed in a very respectful manner.

I managed to hold my tears back as I commented “I guess Chu misses you too, Grandma…”

The four of us managed to laugh through our blubbering at Chu, the long-eared rabbit who knew how to pay his respects to the people he loved and missed better than we did.

Halmine, bogoshippuh…I thought as I gently patted Jaesun’s back.

A gentle breeze rustled down the mountainside and the cherry tree next to my Grandmother suddenly let loose a whirl of light pink cherry blossoms, and it fell in a graceful shower around us.

Jaesun looked up in amazement, and we shared smiles at the beautiful sight.

The very next day was our first Awards Ceremony, the GaOn Charts Awards, and we had been invited to perform in front of the hundreds of accomplished artists and thousands of fans that were attending the Ceremony.

We waited backstage, just as nervous, if not more, as when we had debuted.

I watched on screen as ballad singer Kim Bumsoo opened the whole show with his hit song Bogoshipda.  

Suddenly, Gongchan walked in the waiting room and sat down beside me.

“I’m nervous. Wish they’d hurry up so we could just perform already” Gongchan muttered.

I looked over at him, aware that this was the first time he’d spoken to me in weeks.

I hesitated and then bravely took the plunge, “Wish you could just tell me what’s bothering you, Gongchan.”

“There’s your boyfriend” Gongchan replied, nodding up at the screen.

I glanced up to see 2pm performing Hands Up and winced when I saw Junho.

It’s not that it really hurts to see him anyone… it’s just… I wished we were still friends, at least.

“Still not over him, I see” Gongchan remarked.

I glared at him. Why is he being so insensitive? What did I ever do to him?

“Shut up” I shot at him, “You’re so rude when you have no idea what I’m like.”

I made to get up and walk away but Gongchan grabbed my arm.

The sudden movement made a piece of paper fall out of my pocket.

We both watched it spiral to the ground before I got my senses back.

I made it to grab it off the floor, but Gongchan beat me to it.

I blushed scarlet as he softly read aloud the words on the paper:

What is it that made me a little sister?

Not only to my real siblings, but also to you?

Why is it that others are also iridescent and rainbow,

But I am forever blue, blue, blue.

I stared hard at Gongchan, challenging him with my eyes.

I’m so embarrassed, and I’ve never had anyone read my lyrics before. He’s going to judge me, let him try.

But to my utter surprise, inside of sneering at me or making a rude remark, he suddenly hugged me.

He pressed me tightly to him and wrapped his arms around me.

I felt my heartbeat quicken: thump, thump, thump.

I-what-is this-?

“Universe, get out here!” the backstage manager called.

Gongchan quickly let go of me and made his way to the stage, where he was joined by JiHyun and Kyuhyun.

I couldn’t stop the blushing, stop the trembling that had spread throughout my body.

What just happened…?

“Soori, get up here!” I heard someone shout and I dragged my feet towards the stage.

But my mind was somewhere else.

Suddenly, I felt a quick jab in my side.

“Ow” I muttered.

“What the hell are you doing?” Chan Hee whisper-shouted at me, “Get your act together! We need to perform!”

I took a deep breath and tried to pull myself together as we performed “Rising Sun”, but it definitely wasn’t my best performance.

As Yiruma entered the stage and the crowd clapped, JiHyun came me a soft slap on the .

I knew what he meant.

I’m sorry for whatever happened, but you really need to pull yourself together.

So I took a deep breath and composed myself as Yiruma began to the keys of the piano, and Universe sang the Jaesun-composed version of “Kiss the Rain” and “River Flows In You”.

I focused on letting my voice ring out and pretty soon I was lost in the gentle music, so lovely, so beautiful…

The applause for our collaboration was much more enthusiastic than our applause for Rising Sun, and JiHyun threw me a smile as we exited the stage.

Chan Hee was totally ready to shout at me, but there was just so much to do once we were backstage-

“Wear this, no, don’t wear that!”

“You need to have your makeup changed!”
“There’s no time!”

“Take that off!”
“Hurry, put this on!”

And as soon as we were ushered off to the seats in the audience, CN Blue was rushed in for make-up and clothing change as well. Stylists and coordinators do not have it easy…

I’d finally maintained some of my senses as we sat awaiting the Awards announcements and now I felt ashamed of the performance I’d given. And it wasn’t Gongchan’s fault at all… I’d just been too weak to overcome it.

We watched as Best Music Video of the year was given to BoA’s “Only One”.

We applauded and cheered as Beast won in a category, and other artists also claimed victories in their genres: Ailee, SNSD, Exo, Busker Busker, Infinite, Super Junior, Epik High, Big Bang, and 2NE1, and of course, Psy.

And finally only five awards were left: Longest Top-Ranked Song, Highest-Ranked Song All Year, Best Album of the Year, Best Rookie of the Year, and Best Artist of the Year.

Song Joong Ki read aloud the piece of parchment,” And the Longest Top-Ranked Song Award goes to… Universe! Congratulations, Universe! Your song “Eden Within” was the Longest Top-Ranked Song this year!”

My mouth dropped open. Whoa, we had beaten out Psy’s Gangnam Style?

Shim Jang gently pulled me up and out of my seat and half-amazed, half-happy, I stumbled to the stage in my long dress.

On stage, I stared past the bright stage lights aimed at us and into the cheering audience beyond.

And I saw the proud faces of Epik High and Beast as well as the faces of my sisters, Krystal and Jessica.

 “Thank you” Chan Hee was saying into the microphone, “Thank you to everyone who made this possible… Thank you to our managers, our language teachers, our stylists, our friends and family… To our sunbaes, our mentors, our fans… And just…. We will continue to work hard, I promise.

Grandma, I wish you were here.

We sat down, and Jaesun was clutching the award in his hand, beaming happily.

We applauded as Highest-Ranked Song All Year went to Psy’s Gangnam Style and the Best Album of the Year was Baek Ji Young’s album.

The nominees for Best Rookie of the Year were announced then and the line-up was extremely tough. It consisted of: Busker Busker, Lee Hi, Ailee, Exo, B.A.P. and Universe.

Since Best Artist of the Year is only ever given to extremely accomplished and legendary artists, our last shot is at Rookie of the Year.

I clasped hands tightly with Soo Ri and Shim Jang, who were sitting next to me, and pretty soon we were all holding hands together, in anticipation.

Please, just let us… Please…

“And the Rookie of the Year is… BUSKER BUSKER!”

I had to keep myself from crying as I applauded for them.

Damn, and this was our only chance to get it…

And I knew Chan Hee really wanted it. It was the one thing we could give her…

Chan Hee and I met eyes and I mouthed to her, “Sorry”.

Chan Hee just smiled sorrowfully and shook her head, letting me know she’s wasn’t upset.

I sat back in my seat, dejected.

I stayed like that while nominations were read for Best Artist of the Year, completely out of it. I thought I saw Soo Ri gasp next to me at the nominations for Best Artist of the Year, but I didn’t really pay attention to her. 

How come we didn’t get Rookie of the Year? And I thought we were doing so well too-

“And Best Artist of the Year…. Is UNIVERSE!”

 !!!!!!!!!!! WHAT!?

Wide-eyed, I stared hard at the MC, disbelieving.

You sure you read that right? Artist of the Year?

“For writing their own lyrics and choreographing their own dances, and furthermore, for always performing live… the total ballots of voters, fans and professionals alike have granted Universe the winning total at 54%. At 25% was Big Bang, at 16% Epik High, and 5% was DBSK. Please congratulate the ultimate winner tonight, Universe!”

Oh. My. God.

With the emotions of utter disappointment suddenly flooded by disbelief and overwhelming excitement, I started to cry.

I couldn’t help it. I was sobbing like a baby.

I looked out at the huge crowd, all screaming at me, showing their love for us, as Universe, and for me, as Laiqa.

Roses were falling all over the stage, as well as confetti and stuffed animals.

Thank you I wanted to say to each and every one of them For making my dreams come true, and more importantly, for liking me for who I am… thank you so very much.

Grandma, can you see me now?

Look, Grandma, look hard at me now. Because I’m happy right now.

And if I could chose any moment to share with you… it would be right now.

With the members, with Jaesun, with the fans, with you… 

“Last time we thanked everyone” JiHyun was saying, “And this time, I would like to show my appreciation for my fellow members who made this possible. A leader cannot be a good leader without followers who are even more brilliant than he is. For all those late nights and those various sacrifices you made to be here, thank you to my members. I will never forget this moment and I promise to work harder as your leader.”

Gongchan ran across stage to wrap his arms around JiHyun and the fans screamed at this leader-maknae moment which changed to laughter when Sky jumped onto them and they all toppled onto the ground.

Grandma, I’m happy.

Gongchan’s POV

A week later, I found myself at the kitchen table, sifting through the newspapers scattered all over the table.

One of them bore headlines “UNIVERSE BREAKS ALL RECORD SALES IN AMERICA!”

Another was titled, “KPOP GROUP UNIVERSE FIRST TO SUCCEED IN AMERICA!”

And yet another, “KOREAN GROUP UNIVERSE MAKES WAVES IN NOT ONLY KOREA, BUT ALL OVER ASIA, AMERICA, AND EUROPE!”

It’s true… I thought. We’ve made history. There’s never been a group that’s debuted less than 3 years to win Best Artist of the Year… nor any Korean group to break record sales in America or win the MTV Award for Hit Song in Europe…

But I still just feel like… me.

Suddenly, a small figure entered the kitchen and stopped dead still at the sight of me.

I looked up to see Soori staring at me. She was evidently embarrassed to be in the same room as me, judging by the blush spreading across her cheeks.

“Uh, sorry” she mumbled, and started to leave the kitchen.

“Hey, wait” I said and shoved myself off the table.

By the time I’d caught up to her, she’d already hurried halfway down the hallway.

“In a hurry?” I asked her, grabbing her arm.

“Let go” she replied immediately, wrenching her arm away from me.

“Stop it” I said, grabbing her hand and making her face me, “Stop running away. I’m not going to be the next Junho.”  

Soori glared at me with absolute distaste and retorted angrily, “Why do you always bring Junho up? Do you think you’re any better than him? Do you think you have any right to judge him?”

I barely bit back my hurtful retort and instead entered my room and grabbed a small container before coming back out into the hallway.

I opened the container and turned it upside-down, letting the contents spill open at her feet.

It was just scraps of paper, fluttering down to her feet.

She looked at me confused as I asked her, “And what right does Junho have to make you judge yourself?”

Hesitantly, Soori bent down and picked up a piece of paper.

She started to read it aloud.

“When I was very little,

My parents led me to a place,

Where laughter runs in streams,

Where happiness grew on trees,

And sadness was rarer than diamonds.

This place, this garden of love.

My greatest secret is that I would like to go there someday

With you.”

Startled, she looked up at me for a split second before she started snatching up all the papers.

“These are my… my… how did you?” she whispered, hugging them privately to her chest.

“The first one I found on my bed that night we played Spin-the-Bottle, another I found on the road next to our dorm… They kept coming to me, and then… yesterday, that one fell out of your pocket. And I knew… they were yours.”

Soori continued to stare at me in disbelief, “You… you knew they were mine?”

“And you said I didn’t know anything about you” I said softly, repeating those hurtful words that she’d said to me that night I’d picked her up from Lotte World.

Soori’s lip was trembling. Is she going to cry?

“I know you…” I tried to explain to her, “I know what you’re feeling even though you try so hard to hide that you’re hurt and lost and scared… And I’ve always wanted to tell you that… it’s okay to feel those things. But I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable around me.”

Soori whimpered softly and a single tear fell from her eye.

Confused, I asked her, “Why are you crying? Is it because for the first time… someone else has recognized your heart?”

Even crying, she’s so pretty. She’s so lovely. She’s so strong.

I gently stepped towards her.

She backed away from me and her arms dropped to her side, all her precious lyrics falling to the ground.

“Don’t be afraid” I told her gently, and my heart ached for her. She’s so used to hiding her feelings, and she’s afraid because I know too much about her.

She suddenly made a run for it, trying to dash around her.

But I grabbed her trying to prevent her from running away from me like she did Junho.

If I don’t catch her now, she’ll avoid me forever.

But the moment I touched her, something weird happened to me. Suddenly, I wanted her. I wanted to love her and to just… to just…

I tried to control my sudden rush of desire but when I looked down at her and we made eye contact, something inside me burst open.

Without even thinking, without even hesitating, I leaned down to match her short stature and then… I kissed her.

She whimpered softly, trying to break away from me, but I was having none of that.

She kept dragging us backwards, until we ended up against the wall.

She kept struggling and though I didn’t force myself onto her, I didn’t let her go either.

But finally, she started to stop struggling, she started to relax against me, and then…

She was kissing me back. Her hands locked around my neck and she was pulling me closer to her. I had to place a hand on the wall above her to keep myself from completely falling on top of her. My other hand was gently wrapped around her waist, preventing her from bruising herself against the wall.

She was so wonderful, so beautiful, and everything that ever mattered to me was being protected right now, in this moment.

She warmed me, like sunshine, and even as her small hands rested against my chest, I couldn’t feel happier. I just couldn’t…

Her soft lips tasted like vanilla, sunshine, and her scent was like the first spring rain and daises together.

I remembered when she’d stubbornly let herself be hit by rain out in the streets.

I smiled into our kiss and I could feel her responding, smiling back.

Finally, she was smiling, genuinely smiling.

I was content.

 a/n: First couple finally fulfilled. (: He had her notes all along! <3 And Universe is the first to break American sales, something Se7en, SNSD, Wondergirls, and even BoA and Psy couldn’t do. Plus you guys won Artist of Year… no rookie ever wins that. Congratulations! Solos are coming up next! And you guys need some kind of vacation too mannnn.