During the ride home, the four girls were absolutely silent. They remained so until they got to their dorm, and even then they spoke only in whispers.

            “I’m going to be just outside our dorm for a little bit, okay?”, Soori whispered. The others nodded respectfully, and Soori quietly stepped outside, shutting the door behind her. 

            Chan Hee went into her own room, and locked the door behind her. The moment she did, she regretted it. She could feel the emptiness hit her like a solid brick wall. She felt like screaming. Chan Hee climbed onto her bed and pressed 1 on her phone, and then call. The screen flashed: Calling… Chan Yeol… It rang twice before the phone was picked up.

            “Chan Yeol?”, Chan Hee blurted out. Her voice sounded like it was trembling.

            There was a pause before the person on the phone said slowly, “Chan Yeol’s not here… he’s shooting his part of the music video right  now… Chan Hee, is that you?”

            “Lu Han?”, Chan Hee asked, identifying the sweet warmth of his voice.

            “Yes”, he responded, and then he asked her, “Chan Hee, are you okay? You sound…”, his voice trailed off.

            “Lu Han”, Chan Hee said, “have you ever been yelled at by your trainers?”

            “Oh yeah, thousands of times”, he answered. Chan Hee could hear slight laughter in his voice.

            “What for?”, she asked, curious.

            “Dancing like crap, getting off task, singing with food in my mouth…”, his voice trailed off as he reminisced, but suddenly he said, “Why are you asking me that? What’s wrong, Chan Hee?”       

            “I just…” A part of Chan Hee wanted to tell him everything, but another part of Chan Hee wanted to hide her weaknesses from Lu Han… What if he thought of her as incapable, a baby?    

            “Training is hard, and admitting that is even harder”, LuHan said, as if he could read her mind. “What I learned to do… is to talk to my members. Only they can understand because they’re the ones who go through it with … and I depended on our leaders a lot, too…”

            Chan Hee felt a pang of guilt. She hadn’t been a great example of a leader, either…

            “Look, Chan Hee, it’s going to get better… but training is hard and the people who can help you most are your members, even though…”, and suddenly his voice got embarrassed, “even though I wish we were together...”

            He cleared his throat. “Anyways. I’ll tell Chan Yeol you said hi, okay?”    

            “And Baek Hyun, please”, Chan Hee said, thinking of her friend.

            “What’s with you and him, anyways?”, Lu Han said, sounding annoyed.

            “Whatever, I’ll tell him. Bye”, he said.

            “Bye”, Chan Hee said.

            She clicked off her phone and became totally emerged in darkness.

            She sighed. She knew what she had to do. The weight on her chest was still there, but it had become manageable now. She lay there for a moment, thinking. And then she pushed yourself off her bed and went out to the living room.

            [Going back 20 min.]

            Chan Hee hadn’t exactly slammed her door, but Shim Jang and Soo Ri both heard her sigh on the other side of the door.  Both Shim Jang and Soo Ri glanced at each other with worried looks, and then Shim Jang shrugged helplessly before she plugged both headphones into her ears and her music player.

            Soo Ri was about to go into her own room and dance her stress away (Soo Ri could feel a headache coming on…), but then she remembered what Kikwang had said. Watch other members express themselves… So she sat against the wall, wrapped her arms around her knees and then watched Shim Jang dance. Her first thought was how weird it was to watch someone dance when you couldn’t hear the music… but then, she found herself tapping her foot to the beat. Soo Ri could follow the beat just by watching Shim Jang dance.

Originally, Soo Ri had wanted to become the main dancer, and was crushed when she didn’t get it but after a few minutes of watching Shim Jang, Soo Ri had to admit that although Soo Ri might match, or even best Shim Jang in hip hop, Shim Jang could pull off that y girl dance way better than Soo Ri could. Soo Ri winced, thinking of the word y and how bad she’d failed at expressing it when modeling today. Being y wasn’t really her issue, she could strike a pose no problem, but being y in front of people or in front of a camera… that was just plain awkward. So Soo Ri watched Shim Jang, trying to get a feel for how she did it, how she swayed her hips… She seemed… what was the word? Arrogant? No… She was… Soo Ri continued to ponder as she watched Shim Jang dance.

Outside, Jung Soori was trying to learn to express herself again. She sat there on the step, with paper and pen:

“You’re very beautiful”, the voice said to her.

The naïve child smiled in pleasure.

“So pretty”, the voice continued.

“Oh, thank you”, a voice behind the child spoke, accepting the compliment without a hint of gratitude.

And then the child realized that the voice had been speaking to her elder sister this whole time.

That she was ugly, and that her sister outshined, even when she was behind her.

There was no disappointment in the child.

After all, one must have hoped to be disappointed. 

            Again, in disgust with her own writing, Soori crumpled up the paper and shoved it into jacket pocket. She got up from the steps, and went inside the dorm. She saw Shim Jang dancing, and couldn’t help but smile. For such an aegyo-filled girl, Shim Jang really knew how to pull off the badass and y look when she was dancing. Soori noticed Soo Ri sitting against the wall, watching Shim Jang. So she went and joined her. Soo Ri smiled when Soori sat next to her, but other than that, they were silent, afraid to break Shim Jang’s own private world.

            Soori cringed when a text buzzed on her phone, but it bothered no one. She looked at her phone. It was a text message from Jae Sun. She opened it. Hey, are you okay? You girls can come over to our dorm if you want… She smiled. When she flipped shut her phone, she found that Chan Hee had come outside and was taking a seat next to her. Shim Jang had also stopped dancing and was walking over to them. Only four of them…

            “What now?”, Shim Jang asked, flopping down tiredly.

            “My brother asked us to go to the boy’s dorm… should we?”, Soori asked.

            “I think we should”, Chan Hee announced, “After all, we’re all in this together. And there’s no running away from the problem.” She gritted her teeth at the end when she thought of Eun Suk, and how she ran away from everything.

            Soo Ri must have noticed because she said, “Chan Hee… I don’t think Eun Suk’s as bad as we all judge her to be…”

            Chan Hee just remained silent, it was the most she could do. But then she remembered she was the leader. “Yeah, I’m just having a hard time forgiving her for walking out like that.”

            Soori and Shim Jang both nodded.

            “Okay, well, grab your jackets. Let’s head over to the boys’ dorm.”, Chan Hee ordered.

            [About 40 min. ago]

            When the boys got back to the dorm, it was a wonder that JiHyun had any hair at all. JiHyun had taken to running his hands through his hair furiously the entire car ride back, and proceeded to do so as they were walking up the steps to their dorm. Gongchan, who had originally planned to punch a few holes in the wall when he got back, was so astounded by JiHyun’s crazy hair-rubbing that he simply stared at Leader, all his anger lost. Kyuhyun had been trying to think of a few jokes or things he could say to cheer everyone up, but he, too, was preoccupied by the miracle that JiHyun had any hair left. And Jae Sun, who had been pouting and feeling guilty for at least twenty minutes after Tablo’s lecture, was just as fascinated by JiHyun as the others. Only Sky remained sullen, looking past things instead of at things… not really seeing.  

            But when they entered the dorm, JiHyun dropped his hands and said, “Do you guys mind talking together for a bit? I have something to say…”

            “That’s fine, but can it be in the living room? I really want to lay down”, Kyuhyun said.

            “On the couch…”, JiHyun reminded him, grinning.

            “On the damn couch, that’s right”, Kyuhyun said grumpily, and flung himself on it.

            “Okay”, JiHyun said, when Jae Sun had grabbed Chu and everyone had settled. Sky was perched awkwardly on the edge of the couch, the farthest away from everyone.

            “I just wanted to apologize for getting all of you in trouble. What Tablo said was right… but he probably should have said it to me and Chan Hee, and not to you guys… We, as leaders, should have brought us together, made us want to listen and learn from each other… I know we all feel terrible right now, no matter what act we’re putting on. So… I know it’s all my fault. I don’t blame any of you for thinking that… and I’m sorry.”

            “No, it’s not your fault.”, Sky said, before anyone could say anything else. “It’s my fault. It’s because I messed the background rap when we recording… I just couldn’t get it right… I’m sor-“

            “Stop being stupid, both of you. It’s not any one person’s fault. We all screwed up.”, Kyuhyun said from under the covers. He was hidden from view.

            “Yeah, I think Kyuhyun’s right. It’s too much responsibility and maturity for one person to bear all by himself, even if you’re the leader. I think that’s why Tablo overreacted today…”, Gongchan added.

            “Um, guys, I’m sorry to interrupt. But can I call my sister real quick? I’m kinda worried that she’s taking this really badly…” Jae Sun said, hesitantly.

            “Why don’t they just come over? I mean, we’re all a part of this…”, Gongchan said.

            “That’s a good idea… Why don’t you send her a text, Jae Sun?”, JiHyun suggested.

            As Jae Sun was sending the text, Sky said, “Are you sure it wasn’t my fault?”

            “Yes”, Kyuhyun’s muffled voice said, firmly. JiHyun and Gongchan both nodded in agreement.

            “You think all trainees get scolded this bad?”, Gongchan asked, stretching out on the couch.

            JiHyun grinned sheepishly and said, “Probably not this bad, don’t you remember, boys, we’re supposed to be Korea’s best group.”

            There was a loud silence before everyone burst into laughter… It just seemed so impossible after the scolding they’d just gotten.

            Gongchan was rolling around with laughter, when suddenly Kyuhyun said, “Gongchan, I’m glad you’re laughing and all, but get your off my face.”

            “Move over”, Gongchan said, and used his feet to shove Kyuhyun to the corner of the couch. He snuggled under the covers with Kyuhyun, followed by Jae Sun with Chu. Sky and JiHyun had every intention of sneaking back into their own respectable rooms when Jae Sun’s hand shot out from under the blankets and dragged Sky in, despite his protests, and when JiHyun made a run for it, Gongchan’s long arm reached out and grabbed JiHyun’s (well, his sweats), and reeled him in. Apparently, the Maknae was a lot freaking stronger than the leader.

            It made for a very cozy bed, with a blushing Sky and uncomfortable, squashed Kyuhyun when the bell rang.

            “Ah, crap, that’ll be the girls”, Gongchan said.

            “Yo, Maknae, go get the door”, Kyuhyun mumbled, and reached behind him to poke Jae Sun.

            “Hey, that’s my you just grabbed!”, Sky yelled out, and fidgeted.

            “Ouch, you rolled onto my !!”, Jae Sun said, and rolled over.

            “I just something furry- is that your rabbit, Jae Sun?”, Gongchan said.

            “OUCH! My hand!”, JiHyun cried out.

            “Who just grabbed my !? Was that you? I bet you did it on purpose!”, Gongchan accused Sky. Sky blushed a deep crimson.

            “I did not!”, he said, defensively.

            “Move your stupid rabbit!”, Kyuhyun complained.  

            “Guys! The girls are still outside!”, Jae Sun reminded them.

            “Then someone go! Who’s at the end?”, Gongchan asked.  

            JiHyun rolled out, groaning, and went to go open the door.

            The girls pressed the doorbell, shivering in the late autumn air.

            Suddenly, they heard from within:

“Hey… my … just grabbed!”

“…my !”

“ something…. Jae Sun!”

“hand!”

“Grabbed my !? Was that you? …it on purpose!”

“I did-“

“Move your stupid-“

“Guys!... Girls…outside!                

Then a groan and the shuffle of feet.

All of the girls looked at each other, wide-eyed. What was going on in there?

Then the door opened.

 “AH!”, all four girls screamed out loud.

“What!? What is it?”, JiHyun asked, frantically.

“Yo-your hair!”, Chan Hee said, pointing.

“Oh, that”, JiHyun said, offhandedly. “Well, come in…”    

The girls awkwardly shuffled in.

            When they entered, the boys were all sitting together, cramped on the couch. Kyuhyun looked grumpy and tired, Gongchan was rubbing his rear, and Jae Sun was beaming brightly, clutching his rabbit. Sky was perched awkwardly on the arm of the couch, looking slightly dazed and embarrassed… JiHyun was scratching his head as he walked in behind them.

            Sky, though embarrassed, noticed that something was off about the girls… and then he realized that it was that all of them smelled nice.

            “Where’s Eun Suk-sshi?”, he asked.

            “Wherever she wants to be, I expect”, Chan Hee said, grumpily.

            “Does she at least know you guys aren’t at the dorm?”, JiHyun asked.

            There was silence as all four girls realized that they hadn’t sent her a text or left her a note. Shim Jang groaned.

             How could we be so thoughtless? Soori thought.

            Soo Ri mentally face palmed herself.

            “Is everything all right with you girls?”, Gongchan asked, serious.

            “I thought of her… when we were leaving. But I didn’t want to leave her anything. I want her to know what we all felt when she walked out on us…”, Chan Hee said, slowly. “I don’t hate her anymore, but I want her to realize that we feel empty without her… and that she feels empty without us.”

            The other girls stared at her. Then, Shim Jang slung her arm over Chan Hee’s shoulder and said, “Yeah, I agree, but we should still send her a text.”

            “Yeah, I’ll text her”, Soo Ri said, and proceeded to do so.

            “You guys… are so awkward with each other”, Kyuhyun stated, not meanly, but matter-of-factly.

            “We’re all a little stressed”, Soori explained.

            “Which is what we’re here to talk about”, Soo Ri added, closing her phone.

            “Where to start?”, Jae Sun asked, sliding off the couch and joining his sister on the floor.

            “We’re not going to start until everyone gets here”, Sky said, firmly.

            “Do you think she’s-“, Shim Jang started to ask, but Soo Ri’s phone beeped.

            Soo Ri showed it to everyone. It was from Eun Suk and it said: On my way.

            Everyone seemed to relax a bit.

            A few minutes of idle chatting ensued until Eun Suk walked in, looking as though she’d just had the time of her life. Her  long hair was flowing out from under her hood, and was extremely messy, and her face was flushed as though she’d been outside for a long time.

            “Where’ve you been?”, Jae Sun piped up.

            Eun Suk just shook her head, smiling brightly and sat down between Shim Jang and Soori. Everyone was staring at her, in shock. They’d never actually seen her smile. She was so… pretty right now. Everyone had to snap out of it.

            “Okay, let’s begin”, Chan Hee said, “How many of us called someone out of our group for help or to relieve stress after we got our butts yelled at by Tablo?”

            She raised her hand; so did Kyuhyun, Gongchan, Jae Sun, and Soori.    

            “I called Lu Han for help”, Chan Hee said, trying to be totally honest.

            “I called Krystal”, Kyuhyun admitted. Jae Sun shot him a warning glare.

            “I talked to Bi sunbaenim”, Gongchan said, slightly ashamed. He felt like he’d just admitted that he couldn’t deal on his own.

            “I talked to Jessica unni”, Jae Sun said, with the same feeling of shame. 

            “I talked to Junho… “, Soori said, blushing slightly.

            “Okay”, Chan Hee said, “I know we all have our reasons why we called those people, but… and this goes for me, too, I feel like we should talk to each other first. After all, we, the members of Universe, are the ones who can understand each other the best… we’re all feeling the same pressure, right? I don’t want anyone to hold back their feelings, either. I just… I feel like the burden is a little easier to bear if we’re all shouldering it together…”

            “ Yeah, I agree with you one hundred percent, but… look, I’m not used to seeing people my age as anything more than competition. I don’t think I’m used to… or care enough, to listen”, Kyuhyun said. And he wasn’t being rude, or obnoxious. It was just the truth. It was how nearly all successful trainees trained. If you didn’t see everyone as competition, then you weren’t competition yourself.  

            “Let’s just… forget about the expectations.” Everyone stared at amazement at the person who said it, who was Eun Suk. She was still smiling.

            “What… the hell happened to you?”, Sky asked, bewildered.

            “Well, I was feeling pretty terrible after Tablo yelled at us-“, Eun Suk began

            “We all were”, Chan Hee stated.

            There was a pause for a moment, and then Eun Suk continued, “I was wandering the streets for a bit-“   

            “It’s so dangerous at night!”, Shim Jang said, worried.

            “Just listen for a bit, everyone”, JiHyun said, exasperated.

            “I ended up going back over some old roads… they were the roads I’d walked before I was a trainee… and then I saw it…”, Eun Suk trailed off dreamly.

            “Saw what?”, Soo Ri asked.

            “Street dancing. Have you ever seen it before?”, Eun Suk asked them.       

            They all shook their heads.

            “It’s so passionate, so much energy, everybody’s just on this high, and people dance so freely… and it made me remember when that was me… and my dream was to dance on a wider stage… to represent that kind-of freedom, to dance because I want to…”  

            “Look, I can’t think of any better way than to stand on that stage as part of Universe. Because we all want to be the best, right? More than anyone else. Us ten. Forget about Tablo, forget about the expectations. This is ours.”, Eun Suk said. Everyone nodded.

            “Yeah, but with that being said, I think Tablo was right about some things”, Gongchan said. “Like listening to each other.” Everyone was silent for a bit.            

            “What are your weaknesses as a performer? Just say it honestly.”, Chan Hee said, determined to keep the ball rolling.

             There was silence, as no one wanted to admit their weaknesses…

            But then… “I can’t… um… be y…”, Soo Ri said, and blushed a deep red.  

             “I mean, I have a hard time posing in front of cameras…”, she elaborated.            

            “I can definitely help with that”, Chan Hee said. Everyone raised their eyebrows.

            “I’m filmed in a couple CFs before”, Chan Hee explained.

            “My rapping… lacks power. It’s not exactly… charismatic. And I’m not exactly charismatic either”, Jae Sun explained.

            “I can help you”, Shim Jang said, with a warm smile.

            “I have a hard time harmonizing with people…”, Gongchan said.

            “Oh”, Soori said, surprised that she had found a use for herself, “I’m sure I can help you with that.”

            “I can’t really sing- er, what did Yoseob sunbae say? Oh yeah, sweetly and softly…”, Kyuhyun mumbled.

            JiHyun laughed, “Dude, did you forget I’m Shin, the master of sweet, pretty-boy vocals?”

            “Conceited much?”, Kyuhyun shot back, but then both of them laughed.

            “I… I struggle with balancing my own dance and others… I mean, I’m either so focused on my dance, I fall out of place with the group, or I’m so focused on keeping in line with everyone that I don’t feel like I give the choreography my all”, Skyler said. He seemed uncomfortable saying this, but he was determined to fix it.

            “If you don’t mind it being me, I can help”, Eun Suk said.

            Skyler would prefer it not to be her, but he didn’t say so. He just nodded.

            Everyone stared in amazement at each other as they realized that they, after all, didn’t need mentors…

            “Tablo sunbae was right”, Soori said, voicing what everyone else was thinking.

            “We’re going to go to practice on time tomorrow, but let’s request that we have time for ourselves”, Chan Hee proposed.

            Everyone agreed.

            As the girls got up to go leave, Gongchan remarked, “Maybe we’re not as bad as we thought.”  

a/n: so... for the debut song, would you rather it be about struggling to get to the top (you guys versus the universe) or about being the best (you guys control the universe) kinda thing?