JiHyun’s POV

Chan Hee and I were both silent as we began to walk to SM’s office.

Every once in a while, I would catch her looking at me, but as soon as we made eye contact, Chan Hee would furiously look away.

… Why is she like this? Did I do something to upset her?

Or… is it because she’s developed feelings for me? Like I’ve suspected…

Either way, we have got to work this out.

This behavior is suitable for maknaes, not leaders.

I reached out and grabbed her arm.

She reacted instinctively, snatching her arm away from me.

There was a moment of strained silence before Chan Hee blushed and muttered “Sorry.”

“For what?” I asked her firmly, straightforward, “What are you sorry about?”

Her eyes hardened and she made to walk away from me, but I grabbed her arm and spun her towards me again. I grabbed both her arms, gently, but I forced her to face me.

“Chan Hee, what is going on?” I asked her again, staring straight into her eyes.

I thought I saw something in her eyes falter, but I held onto her.

She bit her lip, and I knew she was about to tell me.

“Chan Hee…please tell me” I said, my voice softer.

“It’s just- Look, JiHyun, I get jealous easily, I know that. That’s not new to me. The moment I see another girl with Chanyeol, Baekhyun, LuHan, I get upset. But that’s normal.”

“Then what’s the problem?” I asked her, my eyebrow raised.

“The problem…” Chan Hee bit her lip, but she didn’t turn away from me.

“The problem, JiHyun, is that I feel it intensely for you.”

Our eyes met and suddenly, I felt a cold wave wash over me inside…

Chan Hee began to blabber on, “Well, it’s not quite as intense as I feel for LuHan, so you don’t have to think of it as me liking you. I mean, I’m sure that’s not really the case… because…” 

As Chan Hee had a tendency to do, she tried to talk to cover up her emotions but her real feelings shone out of her eyes, which were bright with worry, embarrassment, and something very much like hope.

Her eyes… So reminiscent.

I felt myself began to shiver, but I pulled myself together.

This is not the time to think about yourself.

“Chan Hee, its okay to like someone. You don’t control your feelings. But what I do know is… as much as you think you might care for me, it will pass. But I’ve seen the way you look at LuHan, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you… that won’t pass.”

“How are you so sure?” Chan Hee asked me, staring at me suspiciously, “Are you sure you’re not just saying that to get rid of me?”

I shrugged, “I can’t be sure. They are your emotions, after all. I’m just telling you what I think.”

I let go of her and made to walk towards SM but Chan Hee suddenly remarked, “What am I supposed to do right now, though? Do I just ignore you? Wait for the feelings to fade…? Hope they fade and regret it if they don’t?”

Chan Hee… The answer is obvious: you make a decision between me and LuHan, and you live with it… But. Those words won’t leave my mouth because… I can’t promise that your feelings will fade. I don’t have the right to tell you anything.

“Do whatever you feel like doing” I responded simply and made to walk away again.

But then, two slender arms wrapped around me and held me in my position.

I felt her lay her head on my back.

She’s trembling…

I didn’t move, unwilling to respond, but also unwilling to break away.

I don’t want to hurt her. But I don’t think she has true feelings for me. I think it’s just because she’s having a hard time and I just happened to be next to her. I’m a necessity, not a desire.

“It’s LuHan…” she voiced softly, nestling into me.

“I know it’s LuHan who’s right for me…”, Chan Hee continued, “but just… for now… for now, maybe it’s just because of everything we’ve been through together, but… being next to you is comforting.”

If that’s all she wants… then I’m right in saying that it’s friendship that she wants. She must be having a hard time and just needs someone, anyone to lean on. And of course, since we’re both leaders… It makes sense she would come to me rather than anyone else.

I turned around to face her and watched her carefully as I told her, “Chan Hee, I’m always going to be your friend.”

If she really has feelings for me, this will hurt her. If it’s just a passing thing, she’ll smile.

And to my relief, she smiled brightly at me before taking my hand and saying “I know. Thank you, JiHyun, for understanding.”

I smiled back and we comfortably held hands as we walked together down to SM Entertainment.

Being a leader is a lonely thing… I’m glad there are two of us.

The meeting was brief but complicated: we went over sales records, how our songs placed on the charts, award ceremonies, other activities outside of music, what award ceremonies we were going to, our general reception in Japan, China, Europe, and America, as well as individual solo songs, which were, after all our next project.

“JiHyun, Eun Suk, Kyuhyun, Sky, AN, and Gongchan have had their ideas for singles confirmed” the JYP President said, looking at his list, “But I still need songs from Shim Jang, Jaesun, Soori, and Chan Hee.”

“I’ll make sure we get them in right away” Chan Hee promised.

“For the next few weeks leading up to awards, you need to all rest, focus on your other activities like modeling, CFs, acting, MCing, and work on your singles. To cover up for the next few weeks, we’re working on the M/Vs for your international debuts, and we’ll have them released in a few days. And next week, get ready for interviews and costume fitting for award ceremonies” the SM President informed us.

“All right, other than those promotional things, though… You guys need to go to the hospital, too. Make sure your voices and bodies are okay after a harsh tour schedule like that, I’m sure jet lag must have caused some sleeping problems. And after singles are out, what about a short vacation?” the YG President offered, “I know that’s when all the YG artists have their vacation.”

“And JYP goes to a little three-day vacation trip with everyone” the JYP President added, “You’re all welcome to join us. Cube artists come as well, so Beast and 4minute will be there as well.” 

Chan Hee wrinkled her nose at the mention of 4minute, remembering HyunA posing for a photoshoot with Baekhyun.

I grinned. There’s no way she’s still angry over that, is she?

“And by the time you’re back, its SM Town concert” the SM President said.

 Chan Hee blew out a big breath.

We exchanged glances, thinking the same thing.

It’s so great to be busy, and it’s wonderful to be a part of all three companies… but it’s just so much to do.

“All right, sir” I said, standing up, “I’ve got to be on my way for shooting now-”

“Filming doesn’t begin for another two and a half hours, why are you going so early?” the YG President asked, confused.

“Well… its Shin Se Kyung’s birthday and I promised to get her a gift” I explained.

Chan Hee was suddenly rigid.

“You don’t really have a woman’s touch with presents, JiHyun” Chan Hee said stiffly, “Let me help you with the present.”

I had to stifle a laugh as she refused to let me answer and instead dragged me out the room with the three Presidents confusedly looking on.

Jaesun’s POV

“Hello, my name is Jason!” I called out cheerfully.

“And my name is Sulli!” Sulli beamed and waved brightly.

“And finally, I am Eyoung!” Eyoung eye-smiled cutely for the camera.

“And we are introducing to you: M COUNTDOWN!” the three of us shouted together, facing the camera with our hand outstretched.

“Tonight we have a countdown from eighteen, which means that eighteen different performers will be gracing the stage!” Sulli announced.

“At the end, the winner, who is determined by their live today and their song placement on our Weekly M Countdown Chart, will be announced” Eyoung explained.

“So, with no further ado, Lee Hi will start the show with her debut stage! Please welcome her as she performs for the very first time ever, 1, 2, 3!”

The three of us spread our arms out and left the stage to make way for Lee Hi.

She seemed quite nervous, so I gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and whispered, “You go, girl” before leaving backstage.

Backstage, I hung out with SNSD, particularly my sister Jessica, and the two other MCs until the next performance.

“Hey, Jaesun” Sulli said, sidling up to me cutely, “are you free tomorrow? Maybe we could-”

“Not tomorrow, no” I answered without thinking.

When I saw her crestfallen face, I immediately tried to explain, “Sorry, Sulli, it’s just… it’s an important day.”

I looked over at my sister, Jessica, who caught my eye.

I questioned her with my eyes, asking you’re coming tomorrow, aren’t you?

She nodded before she was dragged away by the make-up artist to do her make-up.

“Hey, Jaesun… Is Gongchan seeing anyone?” Eyoung asked me shyly, avoiding my gaze, “I want to get to know him, but I don’t want to offend anyone… if he’s already taken.”

I hesitated, asking myself. Is Gongchan seeing anyone? He seems to be staring at my sister quite a bit these days… but I can’t tell if they’re like siblings, like friends, or if he actually likes her…

“Um… well, I suppose you could talk to him” I answered, uncertain, “as friends…”

Eyoung grinned and replied cheekily, “Of course, just as friends.”

“Hey, guys, c’mon, it’s us again!” Sulli shouted and she grabbed my hand and pulled me away from Eyoung.

As I exited the room, I saw Tiffany look at our hands and waggle her eyebrows.

I scowled at her.

“That was quite an amazing debut stage, wasn’t it?” Eyoung asked, eye-smiling once again.

“Yes, ma’am. But our next stage is one from an old-time favorite group” I said confidently, “please welcome:”

“The idol-beasts: 2PM!” Sulli and I shouted together, and then I pointed my hand towards the stage.

We were ushered off again and this time, wanting to get away from the girls, and girls in general, I escaped into SHINee’s waiting room, where Jonghyun and Key immediately welcomed me with open arms.

“Hey, kid, how’ve you been?” Jonghyun asked me, messing up my hair.

“Hey, don’t do that!” Key scolded Jonghyun, “He’s the MC! You can’t just mess up his hair like that.”

Key led me over to the mirror and started rearranging my hair again.

“Red hair really suits you” he started blabbering, “but you know, if you were man enough, you would go full-out pink…”

I laughed and said, “No, I’m not man enough. Universe would have six girls in it- and god, Key, why are you so girlish? Talking about hair? I meant to get away from Sulli and Eyoung!”

Key glared at me and slapped me in the back- hard.

“Ow” I muttered.

“I’m not girlish. I’m just… fashionable” Key clarified and then he finished with my hair.

He’d done some weird wave thing with my hair, which, I’m not sure how the M Countdown stylists would take it. But I appreciated it all the same- because it’d been Key who’d done it for me.

“Thanks, Mom” I said playfully, and Key hit me again.

From the back, Jonghyun chortled at our childishness.

“Hey, Jaesun” Jonghyun called, “have you learned how to cook? Or are you still setting curtains on fire?”

I felt myself get embarrassed… Kyuhyun had had to go out and buy some new curtains just yesterday morning… I’d been so hungry and no one had been awake. Universe really had to go grocery shopping sometime… for snacks and other pre-made foods.

“I remember one time you came over and I simply asked you to make me some ramen… You somehow boiled the water so much, it’d all disappeared and the bottom of the pan stuck to the oven” Jonghyun reminded me. Onew heard this and began to laugh, “Jaesun, I never knew that was you that did that.”

“I thought I was going to get in so much with manager hyung…” Jonghyun shook his head.

“Hey” Taemin called from next to Onew, “I remember seeing you with some bunny… Do you still have that thing?”

“It’s not a thing”, I clarified, “its Chu.”

Taemin laughed and Jonghyun reached over to mess with my hair again.

“I miss you, Jaesun. You were always entertaining, little brother” Jonghyun commented.

“Hey!” Key grabbed Jonghyun’s arm, “I just told you! Don’t mess with his hair!”

I laughed and then jumped up, “Oh, crap, got to go, guys! See you out on stage!”

I sprinted out the door and barely reached the girls before we had to enter on stage.

So if you were watching that particular episode of M Countdown and thought I was really excited for Se7en hyung to perform, I wasn’t that excited- I was just really, really out of breath.

Oh, and I was laughing breathlessly at the director’s absolutely shocked reaction to my new “hairdo”.

~

“And now, tonight, we present to you the top two of the night!” Sulli said.

“SNSD!” I said, smiling for my sister.

“And…. SHINee!” Eyoung announced.

“SNSD’s chart ranking was seven, and SHINee’s chart ranking was eleventh” Sulli informed everyone.

“And here are the live show scores” Eyoung said, and numbers began appearing quickly on screen, too quickly for anyone to count…”

“And the winner is…” I said, smiling as I said it. I’ve always wanted to say this line…

“SHINee!” I shouted loudly, “Congratulations, SHINee!”

“Please, step forward, SHINee!”

They did step forward, smiling enthusiastically to receive their reward.

“Please say a few words” Eyoung said, handing her microphone to Onew.

Onew quickly listed off his thanks, emphasizing his thanks to the fans and to the staff.

And just before Eyoung got her microphone back, Key spoke into saying, “And director, if you like your MC’s hairstyle, you can hire me if you want!”

We watched as the director proceeded to face-palm himself on live national television.

Needless to say, ratings for the show were quite good that night.

a/n: [: romance is starting to show uppppppp.