What the what the what the what the !!

I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't even blink and my mind was full of just three words: what. the. . I was completely frozen. What did this mean? What was happening? Why was it happening? What was I supposed to think? I didn't know. I had no idea. I was completely at shock and the person at fault wasn't moving away. In fact, when I felt those plush, warm lips move on mine, I closed my eyes tight, trying to find a way to think. But I didn't have to try for too long.

"What are you doing." I opened my eyes only to see Jonghyun grabbing Joon's wrist. He had pulled Joon off of me and he had a glare on his face I had never seen in all these years I had known him. It was almost scary. Joon was even scarier, though, suddenly going ahead and kissing people and shizz and that was my first kiss too!!

"What does it seem like we're doing?" Joon said with a smirk. 

"That seems quite one-sided to me, that is why I asked what are you doing." Jonghyun repeated himself, pulling Joon further away from me. Okay now I didn't want to stay here, whatever these two were gonna do - though it seemed like they were ready to have a fight. I felt overwhelmed already, I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly slipped away from both of them and started dashing away. This was too much! I couldn't understand, my brain refused to process this. I didn't want to be in the middle of a fight... but that fight would be because of me; no matter how shocked I felt, I couldn't let people fight because of me, right? I forced my feet to stop and somehow managed to make myself go back to the scene. Though I couldn't really bring myself to actually let them know I was there. Instead, I just hid behind the corner and watched. Jonghyun had Joon pushed against the wall and he really, really, looked the scariest I had ever seen him in my whole life. 

"I thought I told you before." Jonghyun growled, making all the hair in my body stand.

"Remind me again?" Joon said, sounding almost mocking.

"Do not play with her. You do anything to hurt her and you'll find me before you." Jonghyun said. I knew it shouldn't have; but it made me tingle inside. 

"Oh and what if I'm not playing?" Joon said. My heart skipped a beat. He wasn't playing?

"Not playing, my ." Jonghyun spat instantly, "You're not serious with her."

"Well of course I'm not, who is? We're in high school, for God's sake! She likes me, I like her, what's the big deal?" Joon rolled his eyes. Jonghyun pressed him harder into the wall. This was getting weirder each second. Joon liked me, Jonghyun thought otherwise and I had no idea who to believe... or who I wanted to believe, which was a problem.

"You don't like her, that's the problem, genius. You just would like to play around with her a little and you think it'll end soon. Guess what; you don't think it'll end when you like someone. If it ends, it ends but while it lasts, it's "forever" and that's how it is with her. You will hurt her." Jonghyun said. I had never thought on it seriously before, actually. If I liked someone then I liked them, if I were to date I'd probably be dating but I wouldn't think about the future or what would happen in the end. I'd just be happy for now. 

"Ohh, is that so, loverboy?" Joon mocked with a sly smile, "So because I know what is to come, I'm the bad guy and you're as pure as the driven snow; is that right? Say, aren't you blocking the path of her love right now? Wouldn't that hurt her?" 

Jonghyun looked almost cornered. I noticed that I was biting my lip, that I wanted him to give Joon a good answer. I wanted him to have a good reason. 

"That's not how it is." Jonghyun said. "I happened to see it by chance and if I saw even a little bit of emotion in her when you kissed, I wouldn't have interfered. But she was only shocked. She didn't seem like she liked it, instead she looked like she wanted it to stop so I stopped it."

"Then you can read minds." Joon nodded, "Then tell me, why are you telling me to stay away from her?" 

"I am merely telling you not to play with her, . If you wish to play around, find someone else. If you have your eyes on her, be serious. If you won't, I won't let this happen." Jonghyun said. I sighed and smiled. He was such an adorable little thing, my Jonghyun... wait, what? Since when I found this side of him adorable - moreover, since when was he mine? I decided to forget about it for now and kept listening. 

"Are you sure you just don't want her for yourself?" Joon said. I froze once more. What the was this guy saying? Jonghyun was my childhood friend!

"Don't bring my feelings into this; her happiness is enough for me." Jonghyun said. Wait, what was he saying, what did this mean?

"You don't deny it." Joon said, raising his brows in surprise. A smirk appeared on Jonghyun's lips.

"I never have." he then let go of Joon, "Don't forget, though; as long as you don't really like her, don't get close to her. I won't let you play with her." 

"I'm not scared of you." Joon said, standing proud. Jonghyun sighed and turned around.

"Then you'll have to wait and see what a determined "loverboy" is capable of, thank you very much... oh and one more thing. Don't you dare go kissing her like that again when she doesn't let you." Jonghyun said. I instinctively shrunk when he started walking away.

"And why might that be? Why shouldn't I go kissing a girl who likes me?" Joon retorted.

"Because you don't know that." Jonghyun said, not stopping. I quickly went and hid behind a couch when I realised he wasn't going to stop. He didn't see me as he was going away. Soon after him, Joon went away too and I dashed my way to the toilets, locked myself in a stall. 

I felt like a truck just ran over me. Jonghyun had feelings for me. My childhood friend, my cute little grandpa, all-time saviour and backer Jonghyun actually liked me. I had no idea... was he always protecting me behind my back? What did I not know about him? What else did he hide from me? I wanted to know... and that wasn't what was important here! What was going to happen now? My heart was a complete mess. Jonghyun was right; I hadn't felt anything with that kiss, I had only felt shock and discomfort. If I really still liked Joon, shouldn't I have felt lightheaded or dizzy or happy or dreamy or something like that? Yet all I had felt was the need to escape. I had wanted to run and hide and make it stop. What was I supposed to think now?

I didn't realise I had walked out of the building and to the garden until I staggered at the sudden stairs under my feet.

"Ooops- careful there!" a familiar voice said as someone grabbed my arm to keep me in balance. I shook my head and looked at my saviour.

"M-minhyuk? What are you doing here?" I said, looking at the ridiculously cute boy in surprise. 

"I was just having a breather. The garden is pretty, What about you, you look like you've just seen a ghost." he said. I chuckled a little

"I might as well have." I said. He laughed a little and sat on the stairs, then patted the space next to him.

"Wanna have a seat? It's nice and peaceful here." he said. I smiled gratefully and sat next to him. There was a short, comfortable silence as we both stared at the view in front of us. My mind was still in a mess; but he was right, it was quite peaceful here.

"So, who was this ghost that you saw?" Minhyuk asked after a while. I chuckled sheepishly. I wasn't sure what to do, actually. I really wanted to tell everything to someone and let it go; but could I tell Minhyuk? I couldn't tell my mom, there was just no way that I would. I couldn't tell my friends for now either, they would probably confuse me even further. I couldn't talk to Jonghyun this time either; I always talked to Jonghyun whenever I had a trouble; but this time it was all about him. So I had nobody left to talk to and Minhyuk was close friends with Jonghyun too... I took a deep breath.

"Well I had a loooong long talk with a friend and I have no idea how to help her out..." I mumbled. That was probably the oldest and the most well-known trick on the book; but I still went with it. There was no way I could tell him without him knowing who it was; but this way, at least we could both pretend that it wasn't me. Maybe it would be easier for me to open up that way, I thought. 

"Tell me? Maybe I can say something that could be useful to her." Minhyuk played along. I smiled gratefully.

"Well, it's... not quite but quite complicated." I started.

"The way you put it is complicated enough." Minhyuk chuckled cutely, making me chuckle along. 

"It is, right?" I said and took another deep breath. "Well she has this childhood friend that they've been friends with for as long as she can remember. As much as I know they do almost everything together and she tells him everything; her troubles, fun things that happened, her dreams, her crushes..." 

"Oh, that's much like siblings." Minhyuk nodded. I joined my hands on my lap and laced my fingers together, playing with my thumbs.

"Right? Well, she had a crush for a while now; but she has been rejected three weeks ago." I continued.

"Ouch." Minhyuk commented.

"Welp, it just happened; but she was starting to get over it. Y-yesterday, apparently the guy who she liked came up and kissed her out of blue." I confessed in the end. Minhyuk's brows raised, but he stayed silent so I continued. "She said she didn't feel anything about the kiss; but her childhood friend came to rescue her. Apparently she ran away; but came back and started to listen to what they talked about and she learned that her childhood friend has been in love with her this whole time and she never knew..."

"...oh, wow." Minhyuk mused. I squeezed my hands. 

"Now he doesn't know that she knows and she doesn't know what to do. She called me to ask for advice; but I couldn't say anything to be helpful." I said. Minhyuk smiled sweetly at me. 

"Well it's not something you can comment on, after all. It's her that needs to decide, really." he said. My heart sank at his words. So he wouldn't be able to help me either, huh? 

"Y-yeah..." I mumbled, looking at my hands. 

"That being said, I don't think she ever loved that kiss-kiss guy, really." I heard him say. I instantly looked up at his face, but he wasn't looking at me. He was simply watching the view as he spoke. 

"Really?" I said. He nodded.

"Mhm. If she really loved him, she wouldn't tell you she didn't feel anything about the kiss. Love doesn't go away in three weeks. You see, I had a crush too when I was in middle school; I was rejected countless times by her but I just couldn't stop loving her and if she ever gave some hope to me, the butterflies would start flying in my stomach." he confessed. I wanted to squeal, that was just so cute to imagine! I chuckled and he continued speaking. "So yeah, I think it was just a light crush that went away easily. I think she wanted you to tell her that of course she needs to go to her childhood friend. I think she was just insecure about things going bad with him."

"Wow, you analyze pretty well.." I mumbled. He chuckled sheepishly. 

"Not that much, really." he said and smiled, "It's just quite evident. She must be confused because she never expected such a thing. She would probably feel awkward and not know what to think or do with her childhood friend. She has two options: ignore and go on as before or confess. It's up to how she feels what she chooses; but there's one thing I'd say for sure. She doesn't love that kiss-kiss guy. Tell her to forget about him."

"I see... well that certainly was helpful, thanks." I smiled. He looked at me and gave me one of his ridiculously cute grins.

"Anytime. Of course this was a secret, right?" 

"Yeah, you know it." I smiled and hugged him quickly before pulling back and getting up. He didn't move.

"Wish your friend luck for me too." he said, looking up at me.

"Sure I will. I'll be going back now, you don't get cold here either, come inside soon." I said, waved and walked back inside. Thanks to this quick talk, I at least had one of my problems done with. What I had been feeling was confirmed too, now I didn't feel that confused about the kiss; but I still didn't know about Jonghyun. Nonetheless, I owed Minhyuk one for playing along, listening to me and helping me out. There weren't many people I could trust or not many people would be so patient with me. I felt really grateful. He was definitely one of the nicest guys I had ever met.