You sighed and looked out of the window, not really seeing the view. Your house was not in the middle of the city, you could see the park of your neighbourhood from your window. In the middle of winter, all tree branches were covered with snow, so was the ground. There were kids all around, trying to decorate the park with stuff they could buy for the Christmas. It reminded you stuff you felt heavier as you remembered. You looked away and sighed again. 

The house was too big and too empty for you. You had decorated the whole place to your own wishes. You liked how the color of the chouces fit the walls, you liked the way the marble countertop curved softly. You liked the widescreen TV you had hanging on the wall, though it had been a while since anyone had watched it. You didn't like watching TV alone and there was nobody to watch with you anymore.

Wherever you looked, you saw traces of the happy past you had; times you wished had never ended. Now you had nowhere you could call "home" for this place didn't deserve the name with how cold it was. Your family was in another city, you couldn't always see them. Your colleagues were always busy, mostly like you. That was what kept you going lately: being too busy to think about anything else. But whenever you had time to yourself, like now...

You walked up the stairs of the unnecessarily wide house and went to your study. Your desk was full of work; but there was still not even a single white paper on the box most precious to you. It was a light colored wooden and some pretty shapes were carved on it - a birthday present. You opened the box and picked an envelope - blue with white snowflakes for today. You had a lot of those envelopes in there, more than half of them were filled, ready to be sent... if you had an address. You looked at the envelopes for a while, then closed the box and took some light liliac paper from your drawer. You took the pen you loved the most - also a present, for your anniversary. You dipped it in the ink and started writing like you always did. 

My love;

It's been a long night again. Do you know? I still see dreams of you. Sometimes I think they're real, I think this whole time I've lived has been just a simple nightmare. But when I wake up and find myself alone in the bed... you know, I never had anyone to cry with before you. Now is no different. 

It's a beautiful day today, though. I wonder where you are, if you also see snow like I do. There's so much snow everywhere this year that it's hard to walk without swimming in it. Neighbour's kids have turned our garden into a snowman town, literally. There are snow-mommies, snow-daddies and snow-kids. There's even snow-cats and snow-dogs, I can't believe how a kid can make such pretty stuff with the snow. Mrs. Landers scolds them for leaving their hats on the snowmen they make so I secretly gave them our old hats and earmuffs. I guessed that would be okay with you. 

You remembered the time you had bought those hats and scarfs; you weren't even dating back then. It was cold so you had just fetched them on the way back home. They were cheap stuff; but they were the momento of that first time he had walked you home, when you knew you had something special between you two. They had gotten old already; but you still kept them. Good times. 

Do you remember how the park looks in winter? It looks even prettier this winter; there's more snow and more kids out there. They're decorating the smaller trees. Tomorrow, I guess, bigger people would start coming to decorate. It's not long until they start decorating Grandpa Pine. I don't know who'll place the star this time; I'm not climbing up there without you to catch me when I fall. Speaking of that, I still don't know how you got no broken bones after I fell on you from that high up. 

You chuckled when you remembered that. Even before you moved to this house, you would always come here to help decorate. This place was closer to where his house was and you both liked the park. One time, you had offered to climb and put the star up. He had insisted on staying right below you to catch you. You knew your steps and you were sure you wouldn't fall; but when the brances broke beneath your feet, you fell right on him. Neither of you had injuries after that somehow; but you became the couple of the year after that. Last year, it was him who climbed up Grandpa Pine because you had hurt your ankle, being a clumsyhead at work. This year, it was supposed to be your turn... but you didn't even know if you would go out to help the decorations. 

My dear, I really miss you... everything around me still reminds me of you. I don't even remember what we were fighting about the morning you left. I don't know how you can live without your phone or hide from everyone, even your parents. They're also worried about you. I know you're alright; it's just a feeling but somehow I can feel you're alright. I now have a box full of letters I'd like to send to you... why do you never write to me? I thought you would at least send me a simple letter of goodbye, for the old days... I am still keeping our letters from college times. I don't think you would have forgotten all about it. I have things to tell you. I have learned so many things in these past days. About me... about us. About everything we were and we could be. Don't leave our family alone, love, alright? I'm scared of being a single mother; living without you for a lifetime... it's been more than a month, won't you come back already? I need you so much...

You stopped and wiped your face when a drop fell on the paper and smudged the ink a little. You didn't know how many times you had cried ever since he had left. You expected him to come back much sooner. He would go abroad every once in a while for his work; but it wouldn't take longer than two weeks no matter how busy he would be. He would call you, right? You had promised a forever together; you thought you could talk anything over. You'd had fights before as well; but never had he left you. Not like this. You rubbed the ring on your finger, hoping he wasn't forgetting what you two had always been. 

You were trying to stop crying when the phone rang. You quickly took deep breaths and wiped your face before you answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Darling, how are you?" you heard the voice of his mother. You sighed deeply, you had been hoping it would be him. 

"Fine as I can be, mother, how are you?" you said. 

"I am great, I have good news." she said excitedly, "My stupid son has called me, finally. He has been on business trip all this time. Now he is staying in a hotel in the city." 

"He's back?!" you almost screamed, grateful that he was alright. But your happiness didn't last long. He hadn't called you. He hadn't come home. You didn't know why he was still mad.

"Yes; yes he is. I told him to call you; but he thinks you won't fogive him. He won't listen to what I say, go pick up your brain lacking husband, will you? Or I will have to drag him home by his ear which won't be nice." his mother said. You blinked, trying to process what she had said. 

"A-alright, mother, can you give me the address?" you managed. You wrote down the address and closed the phone. You then sat down and stared at the address for short. What had happened? What would you not forgive him for? One thing you knew; you wanted him back; but you didn't want to go to him... you wanted him to come back home on his own. You wanted him to see the letters before he saw you. You were almost nervous. You knew him; but you never had him away from you for so long so you had no idea what he could have done... you weren't ready to directly face it. You didn't think you could take it if he had cheated on you. 

You took your pen again and started writing once more, with some space between what you had written last and the new word you were writing. 

Your mother just called, love... I took an address from her. What could you have done that I wouldn't forgive you? Things that come to my mind hurt so bad that I can't even find the courage to face them right away. Come home and tell me I'm wrong... come home and hold me again, tell me everything is alright. Tell me I cried for nothing, waiting for you. Tell me you love me because I love you, so much... 

You quickly folded the paper and put it in the envelope. You took out all the envelopes and put dates on them, then you organised them to the dates and bound them together. You put them in a box, wrote the address and went out to mail them. You went to the post office yourself and mailed it to the address with express mail. What was left to do now was to wait... 

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i was listening to a song and i had the urge to write this; second part is gonna come tho it's gonna be short; but... who is "he"? i don't have anyone in mind so i had to ask you guys, please answer me ;w;