He was beautiful. 

He was my all-time crush, I basically was dying for him and he had no idea. Well, maybe he did know; but he didn't give a damn. I didn't know. But he was beautiful. He was beautiful when he smiled, when he laughed, danced, worked out, chatted with his friends, simply walked on the road or even when he was drooling on his desk sleeping in the class he was beautiful. And not only beautiful; he was really amazing. He did almost all sports perfectly and, well, elegantly; he was fun to talk to, nice and natural with his friends and, well... I just fell for him. Lee "Joon" Changsun had that effect on girls. 

Well, I wasn't the only girl to like him; of course I wasn't. He was the crush of many girls in his class. He just didn't have any interest in playing around with girls, he never had. He found it bothersome. How did I know? Well, I was friends with him. 

That was pure luck, actually. He was in school's basketball team and he liked to throw his stuff to his fans at the end of the games. I didn't know if he wanted them back; but girls always gave them back just to be able to talk to him. So when he actually took off his basketball shirt and threw it and I was the one to catch it, I didn't know what to do. He had been my crush for too long for me not to do anything, I at least had to talk to him. So after the game, I had waited in front of the change room of the team until he came out. He had just stared at me in surprise, I had given him the top and said he would need it in next game. He had asked me my name. I didn't even remember the rest of what had happened.

Of course that wasn't exactly how we'd become friends; but that was part of how he had come to know me. Next year, I was in the same club he was in. It was a coincidence that he had decided to join a club other than basketball... and that he liked cartoons. I had no idea he liked cartoons before I started a club for all the cartoons and cartoon lovers. Instantly he had joined. Again instantly, he was chosen the club head. He wasn't doing anything; but his position guaranteed that he would stay, somehow; so I did nothing about it. I just let him be. He attracted members, it also guaranteed the club would stay open, that was fine... and it would be enough even if I could just stare at him, much like I was doing right now. 

"What are you looking at?" he said easily. I shrugged.

"Wondering if you're ever going to sign those papers. That's the only thing you ever do for the club anyways." I said smoothly. Yeah I liked him; but I was used to seeing him and talking to him, so much that I could easily hide my nervousness. I never hid my feelings for him though, even though I never spoke it openly I always treated him different. 

"Yah, you're breaking my heart!! I do watch cartoons here a lot, I also became Tinky Winky for the culture festival, did I not? You can't say I don't do anything." he argued with a pout. It wasn't fair how he could be so cute so effortlessly, I thought. 

"Other than that you do nothing and you're the club head. Maybe it's because you don't have a pen?" I chuckled. He looked around.

"Well yeah, I don't have a pen, that's true." he said. I shook my head and handed him the one in my hand. 

"You don't leave without signing those papers, I really need to go to class right now. You can always tell the teacher you were late because of the club stuff." I said. 

"I don't wanna bother going to class anyways, I'll see if I can skip." he grinned. I chuckled and waved to him.

"Good luck with that, cartoon prince!" I said and dashed out of the club room. I was almost late to class and the teacher was very strict. I slipped in just a second before teacher went in and quickly took my place before teacher could get mad at me. I'd been lucky this time. 

"Where have you been?" my deskmate asked quietly while teacher was getting ready for class. 

"Club room, where else?" I whispered back, taking out my notebook. 

"You shouldn't spend so much time there." he said; but I ignored him. Lee Jonghyun had been my best friend since I could remember; but he seemed to overworry about me and what I did lately. I didn't like it when he worried over me like this. I liked his smile better than his frown - not just because he had a chic smile; but because I cared about him. Also, he didn't have anything to worry about, it wasn't like I was doing inappropriate stuff in that club room. 

At the break, I wanted to go to the club room again; but I thought it would be awkward. And he probably wouldn't be there. Would he? Well he had said he would try and skip the class. I got up; but changed my mind before I reached the class door. I was always indecisive like this. Wouldn't he be annoyed with me always being around? I turned around. But then, he had to have noticed that I liked him already. He never pushed me away, did he? I turned around towards the door again. Could I go?

"Get your on the seat, he's not there." Jonghyun's voice said grumpily. I felt chills run down your spine. 

"How did you know I was thinking about that?" I said.

"I know you, for God's sake!" he rolled his eyes, "You always just turn around like a puppy chasing its tail whenever you can't decide whether to go to him or not. You don't get this confused with anything else. It has to be about him. BUT he's not there so stop."

"How can you know?" I said annoyedly. He shrugged.

"Even if he skipped class, he didn't keep hanging at the club room. He'd be bored way too easily." he said.

"Again, how do you know?" I said stubbornly.

"Ask Yonghwa if you want!" he defended himself. I huffed and slumped on my seat.

"They are buddies, yeah, he would know." I mumbled. He nodded.

"He isn't even interested in you anyways, why do you keep chasing him?" he said, leaning his cheek on his hand. I gasped and turned to him instantly.

"Did he tell that to Yonghwa?!" I asked desperately. I didn't want that. I was good as I was for now; but I didn't want all your hopes wiped away. That would hurt too bad. 

"No he didn't. But isn't it obvious? You do everything that would show him your feelings, he doesn't even bother." he said easily. 

"Don't say that!" I scolded. He raised his hands.

"Fine fine, I said nothing." he said. He was tired of this argument going over and over between us. I sighed.

"Do you really think he doesn't like me back?" I said, after a while. I had never asked his honest opinion before so he was a little surprised this time.

"He doesn't show it. He doesn't come to see you, he doesn't chat specially with you, he doesn't even treat you like a girl. Sometimes I wonder if you would be talking if the club got closed down." Jonghyun said slowly, carefully. 

"You don't think he even cares, huh?" I sighed. True I liked to ignore it; but it could be good for me to slowly get used to the idea if he didn't like me. After all, I didn't want to cry my eyes out for an unrequited love. 

"Well... it doesn't seem like it." Jonghyun smiled apologetically. I sighed and smiled at him.

"It's nice I can always trust you to be cruelly honest." I said and ruffled his hair. 

"Yah!!" he laughed and caught my arm, "I told you not to mess my hair you evil!" he said as he started messing my hair right back. 

"Yaayayayaya- yah! Jonghyun- stop- please stop!" I basically pleaded. I knew I couldn't save myself when he decided to bully me back, so I didn't even bother fighting back. 

"Call me oppa and I will." he said, I could basically hear the grin in his voice when he stopped for a second.

"I didn't know you were into that?" I teased. He messed my hair a little more, making me squeal. 

"I'm not; but you see there was a bet on that so you have to call me oppa and earn me a dinner, yeah?" he said. 

"I'd call you that if you told me about the dinner!" I said. 

"No you wouldn't, it's a dinner for me only- HEY you still didn't call me oppa! Hurry up!" he scolded, again messing up my hair even more.

"Ya ya ya- OPPA! Stop it!" I basically screamed. When he let go of me, I saw the victorious grin on his face and immediately knew something was wrong. I had just screamed "oppa" in the middle of the whole class. Well. Crap. 

"Thank you, sweetheart." Jonghyun said sweetly, which made things even worse. I facepalmed and grunted. 

"You're welcome..."

Why we were always like this, I never knew. When we had become this close, I didn't even remember. Sometimes I questioned why we were even friends; but mostly I was grateful he was still my friend. Right now definitely wasn't one of those moments. Definitely.