PMO Office

Dara! I got something for you.  Just as I stepped into the office, Jiyong  was so high up and greeted me.

I got something for you too. Would you like to hear it first? He looked so cocky enough to let go our discord unnotice. I guess its not new for him to hear what I am about to drop today but I have to do it anyway. Other than that, the silent treatment with my girlfriend goes on, and no, I am definitely not fine right now. I only got one message from her then no more. That just doesn't make sense. The fact that she just proposed a week ago.

Yeah, go ahead. Jiyong is annoying as usual. Right now, with him is just pure friendship. It would've been much easier to keep it that way but the recent incident just changed everything.  

 Flashback a day ago

Jiyong kissed me on my lips and the worse part of it, I kissed back. When I returned to my senses, I instantly pushed him away. It seems like this crazy lips of mine has a mind of its own. I must've done it unconsciously as I was used to kissing him in the past. But, I know theres no special excuse for that and..

*Paaakkkkk!!!

What are you two doing?!

Park Bom just witnessed my explosive hand landed on Jiyong's right cheek adding more insult to his already injured face. We were both silent just staring at each other completely disregarding Bommie's presence who was standing right outside the door of the bathroom confused of what just happened. I kept my glare on him anticipating for his next move. Then, his hand reached over, shut the door then locked the knob.

I'm sorry. No, I'm not really sorry. You shouldn't have done that. I'm already engaged.. with her. He left me with no choice. He has to know. I was force to break down the news to him expecting that he would probably stop pursuing whatever lingering sentiments he has on me.

Unexpectedly, Jiyong just released a loud gasp, then he laughed momentarily. Are you kidding me?!  No, You're out of you're mind Dara.

Then, he cupped my face with his hands. Do you think she is that serious with you? and she is not even talking to you right now.  Until when will you be this blind? Look, if you think I 'll stand in your way. I'm sorry.. no I won't. The kiss was nothing.  I was just carried away with the moment. 

He gazed intently at my eyes.You are way too impulsive about this. Why are you even rushing things? You can date her alright, but marry her? You don't even know her that well. Don't confuse your strong feelings with true love. It's a suicide.  Jiyong's breathing was pretty heavy, as his brows were knitted together and his eyes started to well up. He stepped back and released a sigh. I wasn't quite sure how to react but, Ji might've left a pretty disturbing thoughts on me. He didn't wait for my reply, then walked away without a word.

Could he be right all along? Am I just too crazy about her that I'm too blind to see what's real and not? 

Bom was still outside the door looking back at me completely puzzled.  I don't know what got into me but I just ran towards her, hugged her then cried my heart out.   

End of Flashback

I QUIT!  I exclaimed without hesitations and handed over my resignation letter.

Is this about what I did yesterday? I already told you it was just..

No, its not about that.  I cut him in the middle. I've been thinking about what you said.  But, I have to see her.  Not thinking of the consequences, but the truth is, I'm confused as well. Being like this, uncertain of what's the status of our relationship is even more disturbing.

And you will go where? Do you even know where she is right now?

?! Chaerin has been travelling around with Diplo and Skrillex. Their last social update was in Miami. I creased my brows in desperation. I'll find a way.  I responded.

But you don't have to resign if you just want to see her. Here. He handed me an invitation: Fashion Week show Jean Paul Gaultier in Paris. 

What's this for?

How about we both go together? CL will be there with Skrillex. He responded.

Ughh, that name again.  I know CL is a sweet girl but her degree of closeness with him makes me question their friendship a little. Apparently, I was kicking my heels when I held the invitation.

"So, I'll be seeing her in Paris? Should I let her know?" I'm not even sure if she had read all my messages.  What should I do? What if she'll misconstrued when she'll see me with him?

Fashion Week show Jean Paul Gaultier in Paris

I can't do this Ji?  We were inside the limo and Jiyong held my hand like he always does in the past.  It's odd, but it helped.  My apprehension, agitation and anxiety were somehow diminished.  "Ughh, this is all pretty dumb. If only she'll talk to me, I wouldn't be here in the first place."   

Are you ready? You look gorgeous Dara.  He held out his hand then we both walked out of the car.  It was a red carpet event, there were a lot of photographers taking shots on us as we were flashing our smiles.  I can't help my eyes but to wonder around.  Where could she be?  We went inside and still, I couldn't find her.

Moments later, I could hear people screaming her name outside the lobby. CL is still stunningly beautiful and I was completely mesmerized. She's walking in the carpet with Skrillex.  My heart begun to pound so hard as I caught a glance of her face and her beautiful eye smile. She's wearing one of Jean Paul's vintage mini dress and coat: a combination of red and black strips with a scoop neckline connected  with a lady bowknot ribbon in the midline; matched with pre-autumn fall fur hood coat; and hot y black thigh-high stockings. Skrillex was just walking beside her watching over her from some aggressive fans seeking her out for an authograph. 

But then, Jiyong introduced me to some of his friends including Jean Paul Gaultier himself, one of the biggest name in the fashion world and the host of the event. Even in the midst of people talking around me, my mind was completely flooded with questions like:

Did she even see me? Why I am hesitating to approach her? I didn't do anything wrong.  Why am I even nervous seeing her again? She's my faincèe for pete's sake.

Sandara Park nice to meet you , I am glad you came. Jean was smothering me with kisses on my cheek which was just a common French greetings. Oh, wait. CL dear. I would like you to meet my new friends from Korea. He added. I didn't noticed that CL was passing by behind us when Jean pulled her for a brief warm welcoming gesture.

"Oh God! It's her. What now?" I saw her eyes widen when she set her sight on me.  I managed to compose myself and extended my hand in courtesy.  I was pretty much holding my nerves, my breathing pattern and my facial expression. "God this is killing me."  Suddenly, I felt a tug in my chest when she didn't respond back.

"What's wrong with her? Did she really forget about me? I'm starting to believe Jiyong's words to be true. Why am I feeling like am I not that important to her?" As my tear was pushing its way out and the reality is painfully sinking in on me. Excuse me for a moment. Immediately, my feet brought me to the nearest rest room to hide away my downpouring of uncertainties. I locked the door, cried myself out and looked in the mirror. 

"Get yourself together Dara." I said to myself. Now, my make up is ruined.  Then, I heard someone was knocking at the door.  

Wait, just a sec.

It's me Dara. Open up. 

As I opened the door, Ji walked right in and without a word, he wrapped his arms around me and comforted me. Do you wanna go somewhere else? He must've seen my despair with the awkward situation I'm in.

No. I have to talk to her.         

He broke off the hug and cupped my face with his hands. Are you sure? At least, keep your shades on. Your make up is.. Jiyong added.

I know. Thank you Ji for being so nice to me.

I will always have your back Dara. You know that, right? He offered his hand and I locked mine in his as we both went over to our designated seat.

How could fate be so playful to me as I saw Chearin sat just beside our seat plan.  I tried not to glance at her while we are nearing our chair. I held in my breath as we were just a few meters apart.  

The show was about to start. Ji was just sitting beside me when someone grabbed my arm tightly. I knew right then and there that it was her.  That chubby hands of hers. I lifted my head and pulled my hand back slightly. Chaerin was so persistent and yanked my arm up but I didn't quite notice, Jiyong was already grasping Chaerin's arm too.

"This is bad."  Ji, stop it. I'm going. He released his hand over her. Can't you wait until the show is over CL? He murmured. She just looked at him with her branded CL cold stare. "Where did she even get the audacity to do that? She was the one who went radio silence on me and now she's grabbing my hand as if she owns me."

Where are we going? But I got no reply.  We were just walking towards the backstage and continued on the farthest back end storage room. 

Why are you here? She asked.

Now, this is quite confusing. I should be the one asking you that?  Its like you just got out from your cage.  Normal people do talk to each other, you know. That's why they invented cellphones.

I messed up this time Dara.. I'm sorry.