"Just like that.. it ended so soon.. Chaerin walked away."

After the commotion.. 

Jiyong was escorted by the security out of the building and was sent home. I, on the otherhand, was called to YG's office. Well, Dara. That was quite a show. I didn't expect that you are well connected. I just smirked at the thought of it sarcastically. But, we have a bigger problems right now. He pushed some intimate pictures of Jiyong and I across the table. Where did you get these? I asked.. Now, I'm worried. Well, you're boyfriend's private account on instagram was hacked. We tried to control the situation but, the pictures  went viral just seconds of its release. I'm afraid to tell you this, but you have to go public with your relationship Dara.. YG explained.

I can't.. I uttered. I know this is your personal life but the situation has risen to the point that it will affect the company's revenue and the show's image as well. ​​​​​​We've already poured investment over the show and we have to push this through no matter what. No, this cant be real? What if I can't.. I insisted. ​​​​​​I guess you are not getting the gravity of things Dara.. whatever happened between you and your boyfriend is none of our business. I am not saying this to you as an option. YG uttered.

So, youre saying, its just for show? I clarified. Yes, exactly.. He added. I will talked with Mr. Kwon's representative later. I'm so sorry for putting you in this spot but whatever's going on with you, I hope you settle things with him sooner. If you dont have any questions. You may go now. YG just dismissed me.  This is so messed up. I couldn't even digest what he was saying right now as my mind was still focus on the frozen image of Chaerin in the hallway. I texted Lee Chaerin for a couple of times but I got no response. She didn't even answer my call.

At Jiyongs Apartment

Can we talk?  It was already dark when I reached Jiyong apartment and he's already sober. He lets me in then suddenly grabbed my arm and hugged me so tight to the point of suffocation. Stop this Ji. I pushed him away. I've already made my decision.. I think its better if we end this right now.. 

 
I'm so sorry Jagiya.. he cuts me out of my line. I know you are really mad right now for what I did. I know I said things, did things that I didn't mean. I.. I just love you so much. Lets not make a rush decision over this matter. ​​​​I don't want to lose you Dara.. Jiyong pleaded. Ugh, why is he making this hard for me. I think its best if we stop this Ji before we hurt each other even further. I responded with desperation in my voice. I have to end this. ​​​​​​But we can start over again.. we can start fresh. Ji just interrupted me. Still not giving up on me. Ugh, this is pointless.

In my apartment

I dropped my head in bed. I'm still lost over what to do with Chaerin. What am I going to do about this? Mom went home in Busan and now I'm home alone. I took a beer out of the fridge and sat on my lazy chair infront of the glass window viewing the city lights in my living room. I grabbed  the handy cam inside my bag  then played the video. 

Video playing..

Oh! Low battery...  Bommie was wobbling with the cam and placed it on the coffee table. Here's the hot tea Bom.. Chaerin offered. CL, I think I have to go now.. Its late.. Bom replied and yawned afterwards. But, what about Dara unnie? Chaerin murmured. She can stay here, right? I can't carry her anymore and your room is so much bigger than ours.. Bom uttered without hesitation. She didn't wait for Chaerin to respond, she stood up then left the room moments later.

Dara wake up.. 

Uhhmm. Whaaa.. I slurred and glanced at her blankly.

Wake up you need to go to bed now. I saw myself sitting in the sofa totally wasted with my head resting at the back pillow lifting  my head upon hearing her voice and anchored my elbow on the couch to support my head from falling. I...cant..  I murmured with my drooping eyelids. Chaerin was just looking at me intently and smiling.

Chaerinnnnnaa.. 

Darayaaa... 

Do.. you.. love.. me? Hik.. hik.. hik.. I started to hiccup then I slumped my head back.. 

.. you're funny Dara unnie even when you're drunk.. then she smiled shyly. Chaerin leaned forward resting her head near mine just above her elbow in place. She  reached out her other hand  over my face then caresses my cheek lightly. She tucked a lock of my hair behind my ear.  I wish I could love you Dara.  I wish you could love me too. I want us to be together even for just a day. So, I can let you go and  live my life without regrets. She took her time just staring at me. Then she kissed me in the forehead.. 

-end of video

I didn't notice but my shirt was already soaked and wet. I kept on crying until I had no more tears to shed then I fell asleep in the chair.

The next day..

Phone ringing woke me up.. I grabbed it  and saw Jjangmae Calling. Hello Jjangjoong.. 

Good morning Dara. You don't have to report today. Your schedule has been cancelled. But, instead you will  have to attend a product launching event tonight with Kwon Jiyong at the Changdeokgung palace. I will send you the details later. Its a big event. All media will be there and we need to get a good impression.

Okay...

End call..

For how long am I going to do this?  I said to myself.

At the event

Jiyong and I arrived at the event on a limo. I was wearing all black, the mix of leather pants, blazer and a balenciaga ankle bootie and a black wide-brimmed rabbit-felt boho hat. The crowd were cheering and flashes of cameras were everywhere. Moments later, celebrities were pouring in the venue. I didn't wait  around to observe their getups  as I wasn't interested for the moment but the fans were shouting her name so loud that I have my head twisted just to take a glance at her.

She's the usual CL that  rocks her Chanel  round black sunglasses with her skin tight white mini dress covered with Versacé Intarsia Mink fur coat and matching with Celine white wedge heels. Shes wearing the CL persona tonight. Her eyes is so cold but sassy, her stance is so fierce and looks like shes ready to slay anyone on her way. She walked pass through me like I wasn't there.

​​​​​​While inside the hall, she was having fun talking to her date I supposed.. whispering to his ear.. giggling maybe at his jokes. My eyes were so busy on her that I forgot that Jiyong was on my side having  plans of his own. Uptown Funk by Bruno Mars was playing in the background when Jiyong grabbed my arm and brought me in the center of the dance floor. All eyes were on us when  he started doing his crazy moves with me.. I was just following his lead as I wasn't in the mood of dancing at all. We were like the king and queen of prom of the night.. where people was cheering for the fake façade we are showing. This is just sad.. I'm thinking about changing my career into an actress since I'm becoming good at it.

Before the dance was even finish, Jiyong placed his hand on my waist pivoting me down while holding my other hand and supported my body over his  bended knee then swoop down for a kiss on my lips. If only I have a say in this.. but I think he's taking advantage of the situation. ​​​​​​Are you done? I whispered at him after the kiss. ​​​​​​I might be smiling on the outside but I was definitely choking on the inside. Where are you going? Jiyong asked. Comfort room. Do you want to come with me too? I answered him sarcastically. Dara, you don't have to be mean to me tonight.. Jiyong said. I don't know Ji, I have a feeling that you've plan all of this all along. I replied.

Now, may I excuse myself. I left the central hall.. then I went somewhere else where I can vent my frustrations.. until I found the garden at the back. Aaaahhhhhh.. I released a pent-up cry over the vast empty space infront of me. I reached down, untied my shoe laces and removed my shoes then walked barefoot feeling the coldness of the ground until I reached the water fountain. I folded the cuffs of my pants up then dipped my feet into the cold water.

Its just the way you like it huh?

Who's there?  I asked.

It's me.. Chaerin replied. She sat beside me. How did she know I'm here? It seems like youre pretty much enjoying yourself after everything that happened.. I noted of little sarcasm on her voice. I'm not sure where you are heading with this? But you were the one enjoying someone else's company around here tonight. She's getting pretty much annoying now.  If only she would give me the chance to explain and what normal people does.

Ohhhh, stop playing the innocent and the victim, Dara.. It doesn't suit you. She goes on with her petty sentiment. I'm not talking to you right now.. you're toxic.. I replied blatantly. Is it all part of the plan? You toyed with someone else's feelings. You really played me well. She's clearly mocking me this time. That's it, I'm done with this bull Chae. I stood up, wore my shoes, grabbed her hand then, went to the back gate exit and hailed a cab.

Where are you taking me?

You shut up. Then we arrived at the place. I opened the door and let her in. If this is the only way I can convince her and so be it. The lights  as it picked up our presence and the studio in my apartment was fully lit for her view. Though I preferred living a simple life but I kept a rather fancy studio that looked like an art gallery where my most memorable sketches, pictures, mementos were carefully preserved in glass boxes and frames. I even added LED warm colored light effects behind or above them to give each more life in the human eyes. 

I can clearly say she's definitely in awe. This is the first time I am opening up myself fully to someone in a very short period of time. I know its crazy but everything involving her had led me to this point.  I don't know what got into me, but I don't want to lose her.  I want her and I felt this special connection with her that I couldn't even define.

This is .. pointing to a small glass box with bandage inside.

Yes, that's the one.. I kept it.. I got good memories with it. It was the one she treated with my wound back in Jeju. ​​​​ And this? Chaerin was now scanning the portraits on the wall. That's my mom.. my life. When ​​​​​my dad left us.. I was forced to take up the spot as the eldest of the family.. my mom was my constant figure of support. Then she stopped at Jiyong and me in a picture during college years. He was my bestfriend once. Later I've realized that  I've lost him when he became my boyfriend.. and now.. its just sad we end up hurting each other. Then finally her hand landed on the picture frame.. a screenshot of her kissing my forehead. How did you..Then I saw her eyes tearing up. I moved closer to her and placed my hand on her shoulder then pulled her over closer to my chest while rubbing her back.

I want you to know that I fought for you Chae even if the idea of us was absurd, crazy and impulsive. I was about to end it with Jiyong but I was caught up with time. I had my reasons when lied about  being single.. there were cameras.. 

But then Lee Chaerin pulled my face towards her and buried her lips to mine passionately.

​​​​​​A/N: 

* I took the liberty of including the lyrics of If I were You of 2NE1 which was written by CL.. it was what Chaerin said in the video recording part ^_^