" It feels so good then it must be right.. it must be love.. or is it?"

At the YGE building

I reported early today and just sat on the bench in the hallway while waiting for Jjangmae to arrive. I'm wearing my casual red jeans and black jacket with a huge black shades to cover my swollen eyes. Moments passed by, I couldn't helped myself but spaced out. It just didn't sink in to me yet with what just happened last night.

Flashback last night

I was crying.. I couldnt stop the tears from falling. Jiyong was so confused and hugged me from behind. Please Ji.. stop.. I couldn't. I struggled at his embrace. I'm not good for you. You don't deserve me. I uttered out the pain that is killing me for days. What's going on Dara.. please? I hate seeing you like this. Jiyong pleaded.

Should I tell him? Should I wait? What if everything about Chaerin is just an impulse.. just a fleeting emotions. I think I've fallen for someone else Ji? I shut my eyes, clenched my hand to the side while anticipating for his outrage. Then, Jiyong weaken his embrace.. you got to be kidding me, right? How's that even possible? I mean, it's only been just a week. What is this? 

Why won't he believe me? Ugh, maybe he's right. The idea is just too crazy. What have you done to me Chaerinna? I broke lose from his arm and walked towards the bed. I hugged myself while seated on top of the bed with my knees up my chest.  I know things could go worst after this.  I might be out of my mind but I think being true to myself is my best option for the moment. I don't want to play safe and act as if nothing happened. My decision might be abrupt or sudden but I am certain that things will fall in its rightful places once I get this out.    

No Ji.. I think I've cheated on you.  I feel horrible right now. I uttered with my trembling voice. Wait, how? Did you sleep with someone on the island? How would I even answer that? But nothing really happened that night. I mean literally. No. I replied meekly.Then what? Help me understand Dara. Jiyong was a bit lost of what I have just said. I.. I've already told you I've fallen for someone else. This conversation is going no where. I am not yet ready to reveal everything to him.  It's just ridiculous that I have fallen for a girl.  All my life, I thought I was.. no.. it's too early to tell.                       

In just one week? He asked in disbelief. It may seem impossible but yes, I felt something that I couldn't even understand yet. I simply nodded. I guess my silence on this matter is killing him as well. He was silent too for a while and started pacing back and forth. Are you really serious about this? This is just not like you at all, Dara. Clearly, he's unable to take everything in all at once. We were fine when you left. Wait.. Are you breaking up with me? He exclaimed. No, I don't know.. I mumbled. Actually, I am not sure. I just need more time to figure this one out. I guess this is enough for the night.  Can I ask for some time off Ji?..  just to think things through. That was all I could muster in my head. Honestly, everything is crazy, insane and I am losing my mind right now. What should I do.. am I being too impulsive? But, I can't go on like this with Jiyong when I'm in doubt of my feelings. Its just not fair. I remained silent as I couldn't put all my thoughts into words. It's just insane. I've fallen for a girl. The thought itself will simply break him into pieces.

No Dara! It just doesn't make any sense. Jiyong retorted while massaging his temple.You know what, I am going home right now. You've ruined the mood and everything and tomorrow.. tomo.. He couldn't finish his sentence. I know he was holding back his tears. He turned around.. walked through the door and left..

End of Flashback

Dara!

Dara!

Hey! Darong! I was shocked as I snapped back into reality.Oh, you're here.. Chaerin was already in front of me. Yes, YG called for a meeting. What's wrong with you? You seem a bit off? I was calling you like 10 times already and what's with the big shades? She said while making fun of me. She removed the sunglasses and saw my puffy eyes. Did you cry? She didn't even wait for my reply and just grabbed my hand.Walk with me Dara unnie. Then, we walked out of the building straight to the children's playground in the neighborhood nearby.

There was not much people around and we had our conversation in the swing. Darong, I have something for you. She pulled out a sky blue cap designed with personalized scribbles and doodles from her bag. Here. She placed it over my head. It's not much but I made it for you. I removed the cap and gazed at it. Thank you Chaerinna. I said to her softly. Why is she doing this to me but then tears starts rolling down again on my cheeks.

What's wrong Darong? Don't you like it? Chaerin asked me with so much concern in her voice. No, actually, I love it but I couldn't even say it out loud. I'm just hungry Pudong.. can we go some place to eat? I know it's lame but it was all the excuse I could come up with. I couldn't tell  her how crazy my world is right now. We went to a ramen shop but then time runs so fast that both of us needed to go to work.

I have to go.. I'll see you later Darong.. Chaerin yelled while she was walking away and waving her hand goodbye with a phone placed on her ear. See me later? Why? I don't even have your phone number. I'm not sure if she heard it as she was already far gone.

Back at the YGE building

The early morning was loaded with pre-recorded tv show guesting followed by the trailer photoshoot with the other members in the late afternoon. ​​​​​​Ok.. its a wrap.. says the director of the photoshoot. I didn't notice the time but it was already 9PM.. and I'm so hungry as I forgot to take my lunch. I scanned my phone to check if Jiyong had texted or called but there was none. I was about to exit the building when I saw Minzy waiting for me at the parking lot. Not again.. I sighed at the thought that she will bully me again.

As I was about to walk straight pass her. She suddenly grabbed my hand and twist it on my back then slam my face over the back of the car. I felt warm blood leaking down my face. I must've had a cut from the impact. Why are you still here? Didn't I make myself clear yesterday? Oh God, it hurts. Hey, Minzy.. ahhh.. we can still talk this out.. you know.. it doesn't have to be this way.. I pleaded. What do you think I'm doing right now Dara? Then she tighten her grip over my twisted arm. Aahhhh.. what I mean is. I couldn't utter any words anymore as my vocals was constricted while I was pinned down pretty bad. Will you quit or not? Answer me? She cut me in the middle of my sentence.

I'm not a quitter. ! did I just say that.. oh my stupid pride. Then I'll just have to break this precious finger of yours and kiss you career goodbye. No, not that finger. Please Minzy don't. then suddenly

What do you think you are doing? I was relieved when I heard that familiar voice then Minzy  released me right away. As I turned around, I saw Chaerin was already in an attack mode and about to slap Minzy's face.. when

*Paaakkk... Aaaarrggghhh.. I groaned in pain while holding the left side of my cheek. I saw Chaerin and Minzy's face both in shock after seeing what I just did. I blocked Minzy out and received the incoming hand of Lee Chaerin. Then, I felt another warm fluid trickled on my left lip corner.

What are you doing Dara?!! Chaerin was stunned. Her hands are now shaking. Then suddenly, Chaerin's mood changed from rage to being concern. She grabbed my hand, pulled me and walked towards her car. We are not finished yet Minzy.. Chaerin said while pointing a finger at her with her ice cold stare. Please take us home.. Chaerin said to the driver. She pulled out a tissue wipes from her bag and tried to clean my bloodied face. You look aweful Dara.. Do you want to go to the hospital? she murmured. No, I'm fine.. it's just a small cut. I replied meekly.

At Chaerin's Apartment

We arrived at her place but she didn't waste time and took me immediately to the bathroom where she kept the med kit behind the mirror. How did you know where I was?  I started a conversation. I called Jjangmae, and he said you were about to go home.. She replied coherently. So, your spying on me? I asked then laughed at my ridiculous response.. I almost forgot shes the baddest female in the country. That's not funny. No, I forgot to ask for your phone number. She had managed to stop the bleeding on both cuts. 

Why'd you do it huh?  She added. I was thinking that you'll be in big trouble if you hit Minzy. Your a superstar, a celebrity and scandal like that will simply ruin your career. My face is nothing compared to that. Hitting me was your best option. I smiled at my stupid reasoning. ​​​​​​You're so stupid Dara.. she murmured. I'm only stupid when I am around you Chaerinna..

​​​​​Does it still hurt? She asked while caressing her finger tips on my affected lip as her eyes were staring at my lips. Am I taking this the wrong way? But I felt warm inside. Chaerin suddenly gave me a peck over my injured lip. Wait, what? But, she's so calm and focus. I'm sorry Dara.. I didn't mean to hit you. I could nev.. She held my hand and squeezed it tight.  She fixed her eyes on me and they were so adorable like a puppy with her gently curve eyebrows.

​​​​​​

​​​​​I.. I like you Dara unnie.. She kept her gazed on my hand then shut her eyes close.Oh, wait.  Is she confessing to me? She looks so cute, not the total bad image she's showing on TV. I smiled as I remembered something.. then, moved closer to her to match her gazing eyes upon me. But those were not the exact words you said in the video.

What video? She was taken aback. I can see her getting nervous as I reached for my handbag which was on top of the sink and revealed the handy cam to her. Then, she swallowed a big lump on and set her gaze upon me intensely.

Dara.. I..ummpph.. I don't know what came over me, but then, I leaned forward and kissed her gently on her lips.