The two men sat cross each other in the peach couch of Park family’s living room, two cups of tea were served at the table right in front of each figure. No one spoke and there were no any sound that was heard. There were only the silent taps from the fingers of the older man at the couch arm while the younger one remained quiet sitting with his head hanging a little bit low and eyes staring blankly at the floor, not doing any move, not showing any emotion even though he was having storm inside. Nervous.

The elder made a sound, cleaning his throat.

“Thank you, young man.” He said.

Youngsaeng lifted his head at the sound of the words, looked up to the calm and somehow gave a wise aura figure in confusion.

“Ne?”

The old friendly-looking man - Seungyeon’s step father- gave out a small smile to him. He bent forward, taking the tea cup from the table and took a small sip of the fluid.

“I said thank you, thank you for taking care of our Seungyeonnie.” He said while putting the cup back to its saucer. He lifted his head, looking upward with a distant look on his face. Youngsaeng didn’t give any response for his words earlier because he knew that old man was about to explain it to him.

“I’m not sure whether you will understand the meaning of this words of mine or not.” He started then paused. Taking a small sigh, he went on again with his words.

“But the people, who have known our daughter since many years ago, would surely understand this.” He paused again, making Youngsaeng wondered if he did have the habit of giving a gap between every few words of him and always talked in that kind of calm manner.

“Our daughter, Seungyeon, for those dozen passed years, this is the first time I find her to be this happy. Or maybe I should call it stable.” He then paused again for the nth times.

“Back then, of course there were times when she looked really happy; even more than now; became all cheerful, hyper and everything. But it usually didn’t last long. One day she would looked all content, the next day she would look so miserable. While lately, though she’s not that all bubbly and hyper, but at least I can see at least a single little smile on her face everyday. And I thank you for that, for being by her side and make her happy.”

He smiled and stared at Youngsaeng right at the end of his words. Somehow Youngsaeng could feel the sincere radiant sense of gratefulness from both of his old eyes. It seemed like he was really fond of Seungyeon even though that girl wasn’t his biological daughter.

While Youngsaeng that was being looked at in such way could only remain silent in his place. Not sure on how to respond to that kind of saying because it was the first time in his life someone said something like that to him. He tried to smile, faint and awkward while trying hard to think of some words to say back.

Maybe the old man understood the difficulties that were experienced by the young man in his twenties that sat across of him because just in seconds he had begun to talk again.

“It’s okay. I’m just uttering my gratitude toward you. I hope it won’t make you feel uncomfortable.”

Still with an understanding smile in hanging on his lips, he lifted his hand into the air as if he were holding something that was moving up to the top. Youngsaeng nodded in relief.

“But young man, there are things that make me a little bit worried. And frankly, there’s something that I doubt of your relationship, if you understand what I’m talking about.”

Youngsaeng finally knew from where Gyuri got that goddess aptitude of her when Mr. Park suddenly changed his way of talking with a serious tone and deep voice. You know, something like influencing someone’s mental condition simply by the voice tone and the pressing aura that emanated.

Swiftly, it felt like the winter had come earlier for him. His facial expression looked a little bit shock while the cold sweat popping on his head and his empty hands. He completely understood what that old man meant.

He knows. He knows everything.

Youngsaeng felt really bad. He was afraid that the man thought he was making fun of him and his wife. What the heck did they do that night? Pretending that they had a special relationship while the people that they were lying to, already knew the truth.

Various kinds of questions were going around inside his head, demanding to be spoken and to be given the answers. Since when did he know it? How could he find it out? Did he feel offended and disappointed? And, did Seungyeon’s mother also know it? He really didn’t know what to say first.

“I’m sorry.”

In the end that was the only that he could say.

“For what? You make my daughter happy and it’s enough for me. What happens beyond that, as long as it doesn’t hurt her and she knows what she’s doing, that’s out of my concern. So this time I’ll pretend that I know nothing.”

Does it mean that her mother doesn’t know anything?

Either to be grateful or what, but undoubtedly that old man had made him lost his words that night even though he usually wasn’t someone who talked much.

“Can I ask something?” He finally voiced out something after some period of silence. The old man nodded slightly allowing him.

 “Do you…already know all of this from the beginning?” He asked, hesitantly and anxiously. Nervously watching the expression that crossed over the old face.

“Hmmm, from the beginning. I don’t know, since I myself am not sure where it begun. But I can say that I’ve known it for quite some time.”

“Then why you didn’t-”

“Didn’t tell Seungyeon’s mother about this?” He cut off, as if he could read what was circling inside that guy’s mind. Youngsaeng nodded in anticipation.

“Because just like what I’ve said earlier Seungyeon always looks happy lately. And more than anything, it also makes my wife happy.”

There was warmth in his voice and there was warmth that emitted from his two eyeballs when he said that. Youngsaeng realized one more fact, that old man before him was that kind of a family man. He loved and treasured all of his family members and it made Youngsaeng felt awful for lying to such a man.

“I’m really sorry.” He said as he looked down in, embarrassed. “We don’t intend to deceive anyone. It’s just that something happened and…I don’t know how to explain this to auntie later.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Actually, after meeting you this night, rather than my wife I’ve became more worried about you.”

Youngsaeng raised his head in confusion.

“Pardon me?” He asked.

“Eyes never lie young man. What we feel will reflect inside our two eyes. And yours, I read it all from your eyes. But, what I see in your eyes and what I see in my daughter’s eyes, they aren’t totally the same thing. You’re a good man, and I’m afraid that you will be the only one who will get the hurt in the end.”

And he stood up, tapped Youngsaeng’s shoulder lightly and ready to leave the shocked self alone. one side of Youngsaeng’s self completely understood the meaning behind of those words, but the other side refused to understand, acted as if it didn’t get the meaning at all.

What did he see in my eyes? He asked that kind of question to himself. Silly, because he already knew the answer was but feigning that he hadn’t, in denial.

No. Impossible.

“Oh Seungyeon-ah, you’re here. Go to the living room and accompany Youngsaeng there. Appa have some works to do.”

“Ne.”

Faintly he could hear the sound of the conversation coming from the staircase direction. Horror suddenly swept over him, took a hold of him. Did that girl hear his conversation with her father? If so, would she end it all since one of her parents had found it out?

That kind of question raged in his mind, adding up to the fears that were already there. He, Youngsaeng, didn’t want it to come to an end. Why? He still tried to find the reason why.

Argh, whatever.

“Hey!”

He jumped startled when Seungyeon pressed his arm, burying her index finger into the flesh behind the piece of fabric that he wore. The girl was giggling, laughing at him for being startled but soon stopped after she saw the expression on his face.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

She put her right hand on Youngsaeng’s forehead and put the left one on her own, comparing the temperature. It was almost equally the same, normal. It meant that he wasn’t sick. Then what had happened?

Ah, he must went through a lot of difficulties and really nervous earlier. She thought.

“It-It’s okay. I’m alright.” He said.

Youngsaeng took her hand from his head and then put it down from there. He was nervous of the sudden close distance between them and afraid of what she would say next, afraid of the possibility that she really would end it all that night.

“Sorry. It must be really hard for you earlier.” The girl said as she settled herself beside that guy. Youngsaeng froze.

Did she really hear it? Then, she would really end it now?

“I know how you feel right now. When I met your parents I did feel really nervous too. I was confused of what to say and what to do. Not to mention our both mothers who constantly kept asking me all sort of things like how we meet, and everything. Thanks God that Jiyoung innocently helped me with her own imagination of us.” She stopped then gave out an understanding smile.

Youngsaeng got dazed with the direction of Seungyeon’s words. If he heard it correctly then it seemed like that girl didn’t have any hint about his conversation with her father earlier. But he didn’t have the guts to hope much. He decided to directly ask it.

“Did you-hear my conversation with your father?” He asked, as calmly as possible. If Seungyeon did not know anything, he should be careful then to not give any indication that her father had said something that worth their worries.

“I didn’t.” She shook hear head, innocently like a young teenage girl.

“Waeyo? Did my father say something weird?” She asked back, her eyes went rounder.

Youngsaeng’s fear flew to the air along with the advent of the answer that Seungyeon gave him. Maybe he had really gone crazy but he really felt like reaching to that girl and hugged her to his embrace. But he refrained. He stared at her intently for some moment.

Forgive me, but I have to do this. This fake relationship of us is the only way that can make me stay around you without being questioned. And I’m not ready yet to lose this connection even though I don’t know why.

“Not really something. He just asked me to take care of you.” He clenched his fist tightly as he told her the lie.

“Really? Hmmm, somehow, you’ve worked hard tonight Otter-nim. Thank you so much.” She smiled and patted his shoulder gently. He felt happy but guilty in the same time.

*****

They walked along the small path between the green grasses that were neatly cut in the backyard of Seungyeon’s house, side by side, holding each other hands.

“Do you want to take a walk?” That was what the girl said when they were still sitting in the living room, waiting for Jiyoung who was still talking about whatever it was with Seungyeon’s mother and Gyuri in the second floor.

He hadn’t agreed to it yet, but she already pulled his hand and led him to the front door.

“There is a small door in one of the corner of the front yard. It’s better to go through it, you can take a look at our backyard entirely.” She explained as she dragged Youngsaeng behind herself. Her small hand was still clutching to Youngsaeng’s hand. She appeared to not realize it while Youngsaeng had no intention to let her hand go.

When they got there, he moved his sight around throughout the garden. He saw that the wall of the backyard was designed in a very much height, much higher than the front gate, maybe to prevent some criminals to climb into the house.

In one of the corner there was a circular iron staircase to the second floor. Seungyeon who always followed Youngsaeng’s sight direction from the beginning explained, “That staircase connects to the balcony of a small library of mine and Gyuri unnie’s.”

Youngsaeng nodded knowingly.

He circulated his gaze again elsewhere, paying attention to the detail of the very well maintained garden. There were a variety of the green vine plants on the high wall. And since it was spring at that time, a range of colorful flowers were blooming around them. There was also a small cherry tree that hadn’t fully bloomed yet in one corner of the yard, sheltering two wooden swings below it.

The sides of the swings were also filled with the vine tendrils that were snaking following each side beautifully. Youngsaeng somehow got the impression that it was Gyuri who came up with such of design. It looked compatible with her goddess image.

Some garden lamps were placed in several directions making the yard looked not too dark yet not too bright. Youngsaeng changed his gaze down and found out that he was stepping on the path made by pressure stones.

“Do you want to sit there?” Seungyeon out of sudden asked him, pointed at the two swings in the corner of the yard. “Come on!” She said again.

The girl quickened her pace enthusiastically that made her let go of the grip on Youngsaeng’s hand who later felt a strange jolt in his stomach. He felt…empty?

Heo Youngsaeng, get a hold of your self!

He murmured inside his heart as he walked toward Seungyeon who was already sitting brightly on one of the hanging seat there. Her one hand was holding onto the rope that suspended the swing while the other one was patting the swing seat next to her as the signal for Youngsaeng to walk faster.

For a while they just sat there in silence, enjoying the peaceful state around them, savoring each other’s existence. Once in a while Youngsaeng would turn his gaze and stare at Seungyeon, the girl who was looking up to the dark sky hung up above them. The swing she was sitting on making a small swaying back and forth.

“Ah~it’s spring already, but why is it still so cold?”

She mumbled breaking the comfortable silence between them. She rubbed her hands to warm herself. Youngsaeng chuckled.

“Is your hamster fur experiencing a loss that you feel cold like this?”

He grabbed that girl’s hands, locked it in his grip then rubbed both his hands to help her feel warmer. Seungyeon was taken a back by his action but did not bother to pull back her hand. She let him do it then glared toward him, going back to their conversation.

“Just because you’re an otter and you live in that cold water, you dare going around to make fun of me.” She said, putting a fake annoyed facial expression on her face that made Youngsaeng smiled.

If there was thing that Youngsaeng enjoyed the most from this new self of Seungyeon but at the same time made he felt a lost was that thing, that new side, the fact that now she could throw a tease back to him. In the past, he was the only one who had that authority. When he , she never could give him any reaction. Her head would be hanging down, her lips puckered and her cheeks blushed. A sight Youngsaeng loved the most.

“May I ask you something?” said Seungyeon, pulling Youngsaeng back to reality. His hand was still holding one of that girl’s hands. That holding hands hung down between them in the small space, the distance between the two swings where they sat.

“What?” Younsaeng wandered around looking forward, swinging slightly back and forth.

“Err…how-how have Kyujong oppa been?”

Youngsaeng’s swinging moves stopped. He turned and looked at that girl with an unreadable expression on his face. It felt like someone had just poured cold water at the top of his head in a winter night that he froze, stunned.

“Please, please don’t misunderstand. I’m just...curious. Yes, just curious.” She didn’t exactly know why but she felt that she had to give an explanation.

Youngsaeng was still looking at her with glazed, but Seungyeon didn’t understand the real meaning behind that stare. He was jealous. But in her mind she thought that Youngsaeng considered her as crazy and weird for still thinking of someone who had hurt her really bad.

“Kyujong? The last time I saw him today he looked all fine.” He smiled faintly, poignant, then shifted his direction of gaze.

Even after all this time and everything that happened, she still thinks of him. Of course, what did you expect Heo Youngsaeng?

Youngsaeng laughed at himself inside, pitying his stupid and foolish self.

“Really?” Seungyeon sighed.

“I’m really sorry.” She said abruptly. “It must be awkward for both of you now while you were really close back then with each other. But because of me…this is entirely my fault. Sorry, you have to experience a lot of troubles because of me.”

The girl bowed her head down. Youngsaeng squeezed the small hand inside his grip, he was feeling uncertain.

“It’s okay.” He said. “After all, hey! I’m your boyfriend, no?” Youngsaeng laughed, shaking their interlocked hands.

Seungyeon raised her head, smiling at that guy’s words.

“Thank you so much. If just I can do something for you-”

“You can.” Youngsaeng cut her off. “I have a wish.” An idea just came flying into his mind.

*******************************************************************************

Author's note:

Finally! I can update this! I'm really really sorry for the really late update. There quite a lot of things that I should handle lately, so. I'm really sorry.

I hope this update will be likeable. Please leave your honest opinion about this because to be honest, I myself is quite disappointed with my last updates.

Other than that, thank you so much for reading, commenting and subscribing.

ps: who misses Kyujong? He will be back baby! lol :)