Chapter 3: Complex feelings

Jessica’s POV

I was admiring the same old view of the city in my office when the thought of Yuri invaded my mind.

Our relationship has always been complicated and complex. I know that she is madly in love with me but I can’t say the same. I don’t even know my feelings for her nor the context of our relationship.

All I know is that I can’t live with or without her. Maybe it’s my selfish needs or maybe just the pure loneliness in my empty heart. She is there to accompany but never to fill. Maybe that’s why I don’t love her.

I never meant to hurt her but I still do. Regardless of what I say, everything looks just like an excuse to her. She never seems to understand. This isn’t black or white; it's a grey wide area where everything is not clear. There is no point explaining, anyway. No matter how much she hates me, she can’t forget the fact that she can’t live without me. Like a car without gasoline, she can never function without me.

I am never guilty for being the cause of her breakdowns. It is not my fault that she is so damn attracted to me nor am I responsible for her feelings towards me. She gave me control and I used it. I still don’t understand why she resents me for using the power she gave me. She made her weakness clear and I attacked. She fell in love with her nemesis –her mistake– but no matter how much I tell her that, it can never get through her.

Flashback

“Jessica Jung, please stop this! Stop this stupid game of yours and stop hurting me because I’m sick of this!” She screamed at me in anger when she walked in my room and saw me sleeping with this new guy I just met in the club. It was just 6 am and she was already making a fuss.

“And you get out of here now.” She said, referring to the guy. The guy then quickly took his clothes and ran off in fear.

“It’s just six in the morning and you’re already making a fuss.” I said, tiredly.

“Why do you keep doing this to me? Every day I step into your room you’re sleeping with different guy.” Yuri said, almost crying.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have any right on me? I can whoever I want. Stop sticking your nose into my business. Maybe if you don’t want to walk in me having with different men, maybe you shouldn't step into my room at all.” I said, exasperated by her constant grumbling.

“Why can’t you just love me, Jessica? You know I really love you.” She said in a weak voice.

“I can’t, Yuri. I don’t love you. I wish I can love you but I really don’t.” I said and pushed the covers and got off the bed.

“Why can’t you at least try?” She promptly asked but I ignored her and head to the toilet.

“I love you.” Yuri added.

“You know I can’t answer the same thing, Yuri.” I said as I entered the shower.

End of Flashback

I was checking the security cameras of Yuri’s office–like I always do. Something had caught my eyes this time. There was an unknown woman stepping into Yuri’s office. I thought I had made it clear that no one should step in Yuri’s office except for the directors and her secretary. It’s the first time I’d seen her face. Maybe it’s an intern. I pressed the phone to call Yuri’s office.

“Yes, Jung-sajangnim?” I heard her say on the line.

“Come to my office with the new proposal.” I said over the line.

Yuri’s POV

I continued my work after Kaeun had left. Suddenly, I received a phone call from Jessica’s office.

“Come to my office with the new proposal.” she said over the line.

“Okay.” I answered shortly as I collected the files before heading to her office. I knocked on the door before entering her office. She was swirling on her chair as I entered. I sat down in front of her and started explaining the contents to her. 30 minutes later, she stopped me as she said, “This is boring. Let’s talk about something else.” as expected from Jessica. She didn’t call me to talk about the proposal–it never interested her anyway– she must have something to say to me.

“What should we talk about then?”  I asked her while closing the folder.

“How about we start by talking about the new girl who was in your office just now?” Jessica said. Her tone was dark and her face was serious. As expected, this must have to do with me.

I smirked, “Why do you wanna know?” I asked her as I stared deep into her eyes.

“Because I thought I have already made it clear to the personnels to not enter your office.” 

“She’s a new intern.” I answered, calmly.

“I guess I have to warn Kim Minjung-ssi to make it clear to the interns not to disturb you.” Jessica said as her hands were making their way to the phone.

“Relax. She said she was aware of that.” I said as I stopped her hand and held it.

“Why did she go see you, anyway?” I heard her voice relaxed a little after I held her hand.

“She just wanted to introduce herself to me because she thought that it would be rude if she didn’t. Now, why does it bother you so much that she entered my office? Are you jealous?” I said to as I stood up and positioned myself in front of her. My face is dangerously close to hers.

“Like I said, I don’t like sharing what is mine.” She said and put her arms around my neck.

“Can I call it jealousy then?” I asked naughtily with a smirk.

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?” Jessica said as she closed her eyes waiting for a kiss.

“As you wish, princess.” I said shortly before kissing her.

The kiss was passionate–like always. After a while, the kiss started heating up. I pushed all the things on her desk before putting her on the table. She had wrapped her legs around my waist before I pulled away from the kiss.

“I wanna you.” I said near her ear and started undressing her.