Chapter 10:Hopeless Dreams

 It was a dark and empty alley.The whole surrounding only filled with silence. I was alone crouch at the corner of the wall crying alone.Suddenly,a long haired female came within my view. She was smiling at me as she reached out her hand towards me. Soon,she comes approching.

I tried to back away in fear. Suddenly,as I was looking at that woman,her face suddenly changed into Yuri's. A feeling of relieve gushed all over my body.The fear I once had vanished the moment I saw her face.

"I love you Sica" She said before she swirled into thick air.That thick air  soon vanished like the wind. I crouch myself back into my original possition in fear because in the end I was alone again.

I woke up in sweat as my alarm clock rang. 'What did I just dreamt ?' I asked myself.

In the past few weeks,I was having these weird dreams about Yuri. It was like those dreams were telling me something. Something I force myself not to believe.I got out of bed to get ready for work. Even as I was showering,I couldn't shake off the heavy feeling in my heart.

The fact that the dreams consisting of her is gradually coming every night is making me worry and the fact that Yuri is still in the hospital didn't help to keep down this heavy feeling in my heart. I was lost wandering within my thoughts to even hear my phone ringing. It took me seconds before I finally snap out of my train of thoughts.

"Hello " I said over the line.

"Hello Miss Jung,This is from Hope hospital.We would like to inform you that Miss Kwon would be discharge today."

"Oh yes thank you for informing me.What time will she be discharge today ?" 

"Around 12 pm Miss Jung"

"Okey I'll pick her up around that time."

"Ok thank you Miss Jung" I ended the call.

'I should get ready fast so I can visit her before going to work.' I thought to myself as I dress up for work.

 

YURI'S POV:

  Five days have passed since I was admitted in this hospital. It was boring of course to be without company most of the time.

The fact that my one hand can't be used was adding much more boredom. Kaeun and Jessica were the only ones visiting me.

Of course,Kaeun more frequent than Jessica. Not that I was expecting Jessica to visit more. Even so,I can't help but be a little dissapointed. 

'Just when I was about to have hope' I thought to myself.

A knock on the door pulled me out of my train of thoughts. It turns out to be the nurse.

"How are you feeling today Miss Kwon ?" The nurse asked as she checked on the monitors.

"Better than yesterday" I replied.

"The Doctor said that you would be discharge today" She informed as she fill in the forms.

"Okey thank you" I said as I watch her leave.

'Back to work then.I should start packing.' I thought to myself as I proceeded to pack.

While I was busy packing,Kaeun entered the room.

"What are you doing ?" She asked.

"Packing....I'm going to be discharge today" I said casually as I pack.

"Let me do it" She said as she took over.

I just leave it to her while I sit on my bed again.It's not like my hands can actually pack all those things anyway.

Suddenly,my heart felt gloomy. It took me awhile to realise that I can't use my hand for at least 2 months before it heals.

' I can't have anymore !'  I mentally cursed. I scolded myself mentally for being a freak.I was soon lost in my train of thoughts again.I was pulled out from my train of thoughts when I saw Kaeun's hand waving infront of me.

"Yuri" I finally heard her calling.

"Huh" I said as I snap out of it.

"I'm done packing your bag"She said as she put my bags aside.

"Oh yeah...Thank you" I said still bothered by my own thoughts.

"Are you okey ? You seem to be out of it these days. Is something bothering you ?" She asked.

"Aniya ....nothing out of the usual" I said trying to fake a reassuring smile.

"Really ? If so then I'll take my leave.I'll come and pick you up later" 

I just replied with a short okey as I watched her disappear from my sight.

I let out a long sigh as I was left alone in my room again. ' I hate being alone' I thought to myself as I stared at the ceilling.

Bitter flashbacks starts  invading my mind.

Flashback:

  It was a rainy night. I was alone with my mother on the porch of the house.

She was making me pancakes.A usual dish on rainy days in Korea. It was one of my happiest memory of her.

My dad was gone for work.It was just me and her alone. I remembered her smile so cleary in my mind like it was yesterday.

Aside from the tears in her eyes,she was smilling back at me.

"Omma when will you be done cooking ?" I asked excited for the pancakes. 

" Almost honey,just wait awhile" She said as she held my face. The warmth from her hands warmth my heart. The feeling I miss the most,especially at moments like this.

"Arraso omma" I answered. I remembered admiring her beauty. I scanned through her face.

She was beyond beautiful,aside from the obvious bruises on her face. God knows how much I detest the hand that hurted her.

I remembered reaching out to her face and just silently touching  her bruises wishing that I can stop those who hurt her.

She would just smile sadly at me.Trying her best not to break down in tears infront of me.

"I'm sorry " I remember apologising for not being strong enough to take care of her and to protect her.

"It's not your fault honey.It's okey" She would reply with such loving eyes as if all of my sins would be forgiven.

"I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to stop appa " I broke down in tears.

"Honey stop crying ! If you start crying I would cry too" She said as she stopped cooking and held me near her chest.

She then broke down in tears along with me. I just remembered saying sorry on an on until she stopped me.

"If you don't stop crying, there would be no pancakes for you" She said as she held my face,looking straight into my eyes.

It always amaze me the way her mood and expression can change in a matter of seconds.

I stopped crying the moment she said that. She put the pancakes on a plate before passing it to me.

"Where is yours ?" I asked curiously as there were only one plate which is mine.

"It's okey.I'm not hungry" She said as she watch me eat.

"We can always share " I said as I offered her the pancakes.

"It's okey.I made it special for you.Make sure you finish it."She said as she made a serious expression.

" Arrasso" I said as I ate excitedly. She was just there looking at me eating. Just some constant smiles here and there.

Suddenly, she started crying. I remembered feeling like the whole world just fell on me the moment her tears fell on her cheek.

"Omma why are you crying again ? " I said as I hugged her. 

"Anniya ....I'm just so happy to get  a child as kind,pretty and smart as you" She said as she fixed my fringe while crying and smilling at the same time.If  someone can actually do that. 

"I'm lucky to have a mother as wonderful as you." I said as I smile back at her.

" Take care of the family if I'm ever gone.Be nice to grandmother and grandfather and towards appa too" 

"I don't want to,they are bad towards you and appa always hit you" I said as I sulked.

"Your appa is not a bad person. He is just in a bad mental state." She tried to explain.

"But still he shouldn't beat you" I said still not buying her explaination.

" Even good people make bad decisions.You have to understand that we all have our own flaws.

That's why you Kwon Yuri,my sweet and kind hearted girl have to try your best to be nice and understanding of others. You understand ?"

"Hehehe arraso omma" I laughed as I hugged her.

"Why are you laughing ? Do you think I'm joking ?" She asked.

"Anniya,I just like it when you call my name" 

"Really ? Should i call out your full name more ?" She asked while looking at me. I just nodded as a reply.

"My sweet girl Kwon Yuri " She said while she hugged me.

"Nae omma" I replied.

"My kind hearted girl Kwon Yuri"'

"Nae omma"

" My one and only Kwon Yuri " 

"Nae omma"

"I love you " She said as hugged me tighter.

"Nado omma.I love you so much" I hugged her back.

"Now get back to eating" She said as she push me to sit down and eat.

I continued eating while she was busy cleaning up the mess.

While she was cleaning,I suddenly saw a suitcase near her.

"omma are you leaving somewhere ?" I asked curiously.

"Anniya,wae ?" She replied and asked me with a nervous expression.

"What is that suitcase doing here ?" I pointed at the suitcase.

"It for one of the neighbours.Yuri ,I want you to close your eyes and count to 10" She instructed me.

"Wae omma ?" I asked curiously.It was weird demand.

"Just do it " I closed my eyes.

"I love you" I heard her whisper in my ear softly before she planted a small kiss on my cheek.

I started counting. With every count,my heart was heavy.I couldn't find a reason why.

I just continued counting till 10 ignoring all the nervous feeling in my heart.

The moment I opened my eyes, she was no where in sight.

It was in that moment I realised that I lost her. I lost the woman I love the most.

I remembered crying alone.There was no point of screaming anyways. She was gone and maybe it was for the best.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that that suitcase was hers. There was so much feeling in that one moment.

It never fails to amaze me how fast happiness can change into sadness and longing.

At that moment,no resentment was felt,just dissapointment that she left without telling and that she left in the rain.

'Why can't you at least take an umbrella with you ? Now you are gonna be all wet ' I said sadly.

Without me realising it,tears run down my face.

 

JESSICA'S POV:

I finally reached the hospital after being stuck in the jam for an hour. I was about to knock when I see Yuri staring at nothing.

She just seemed sad.I decided to just get in without knocking. I realised that there were tears on her cheeks when I got closer.

The moment that I saw those tears,my heart ached. My hand automaticly moved towards her face,wiping off those tears.

She just look up at me in shock as she hold my hand. My heart and tummy felt funny like there were a million butterflies in it.

The moment I was her eyes, a sudden need was evident in my heart. There was a need to tell her that everything would be alright.There was a need to assure her that everything would be alright. That everything would work out for her

"It's gonna be okey" I said softly near her ear before hugging her. The way she hugged me was different this time.

She was in a vulnerable state. It was the opposite from the happy go lucky Yuri that I know. Even this side of her looks wonderful in my eyes.I pat her on her back assuringly, trying to stop her from crying. It did help as I felt her relax within my arms.

Somehow deep inside my heart , I felt some sort of happiness. A weird yet amazing feeling. 

Even so,there was a small fear inside my heart that this moment would be momentary. 

Like something that would fade away at the tip of my fingers before I could even reach it.

YURI'S POV:

I was too stuck deep within my own sadness to notice someone came in my room.

The moment I felt a hand on my face was when I realised that I was not alone.

The hand was somehow warm,reminding me of my long gone mother.

I looked up curiously to find out whose hand it was. It turned out to be Jessica's.

I don't know if the memories of my mother made me confuse or that her hands were really warm like my mothers.

I broke down more the moment I found out that it was her.

' How is it that the hardest hand for me to hold is the warmest hand I have ever felt ? Seemingly the only hand I want to hold for the rest of my life'  I thought to myself sadly.

She wiped off my tears before she whispered near my ear. "It's gonna be okey"

She said it so assuringly that I almost believed it. If she were to say that the moon was square,I would have believed it right away.Slowly,I calmed down within her touch.

We stayed in that position long enough for my tears to dry out. It was shocking that she had that much patience within her to keep on holding me that way. 'If only she had such patience within her all the time' I thought to myself.

"Why are you here ?" I broke off the silence as I end our hug.

I saw her moved behind a little to keep her distance.

"I just want to tell you that I'm picking you up later since you would be discharging today." She said with a smile,acting like nothing ever happened. Acting like I was never in her arms just now. It is what she does best anyway.

"It's okey....Kaeun is picking me up later." I said declining her offer. I saw her frown upon my reply.

"Why is she picking you up ?" she asked with a higher tone.A hint of anger evident in her voice.

I frown upon her ridiculous question. I hate it when she acts like she owns me when she was the one who wouldn't accept me.

"What is wrong with her picking me up ? I don't think it's wrong for my friend to pick me up." I argued.

"Why didn't you tell me ?" She asked angrily. The fact that she is getting mad over this matter was pissing me off.

"I just knew this morning while she was visiting me. How can I tell you then ?" I said.My voice as high as hers.

Our defences were high again,like always. I would always have be the one to lower my ego and give in.But this time,I have no intention to do so.

"She visited you just now ? " She asked still angry.

"Look Jessica I don't get why we are arguing about this.There is nothing wrong about Kaeun visiting me and picking me up because there is no difference between her picking me up and you picking me up becuase both of you are my friends after all. Plus, I don't have to tell you who visits me because for your information you have no right on me.I am not your girlfriend so please stop being ridiculous." I told her off in anger.Her ridiculous possessiveness was getting on my nerves.

JESSICA'S POV:

'What ! she called me ridiculous for actually showing my care ? How dare she ?'

"Are seriously shouting at me right now ? I can't believe it.How could you shout at me after all that I have done for you?" I questioned back. 

"Really Jessica ,what have you actually done ? " 

"Firstly, I brought you to the hospital when you fainted and secondly I hugged you while you were sad just now" I argued back. All these back and forth arguing was making my head dizzy at that point.

"Oh really Jessica ? I'm sorry I haven't noticed since you have been acting indifferent towards me like nothing ever happened."  'Damn this woman tongue these days' I thought to myself angrily.

"And you don't even thank me for it. You are so unbelievable ! All that you ever see these days is Kaeun.Kaeun this, Kaeun that. How is it that you never see my kindness and only see hers ? Why are you being so unfair ?"

'Gosh I hate her ' I thought to myself as tears starts to form in my eyes.

"And can you explain why exactly you think that I'm being unfair to you ?" She said as she crossed her arms.

"Of course it's unfair when all you see is Kaeun when I'm in lo.." I cut my speech.

'Wait what am I saying ? '

"When you are what Jessica ?" She asked as if she was clueless of the next word.

"Excuse me but I need to go " I left her hanging as I left her room to go to the wash room.

I was still shocked from the words I almost uttered to her.

'It can't be right ? ' I thought to myself.

I washed my face to make sure that I was awake. I slapped my face a couple times to make sure.

'I can't be in love with her right ?' I looked into the mirror. I saw my confused reflection.

'Jessica Jung,you are officially in love with her ' i thought to myself.

The word love has always been my biggest fear. Now knowing that I am in love with her makes my heart shake in fear.

Even so, there was a hint of excitement inside that fear. Which for me to hold on to still remains unknown.

YURI'S POV:

"Of course it's unfair when all you see is Kaeun when I'm in lo..." She cut her speech.Leaving me with a million wonders.

She soon excused herself and left. 'Could it be that her next words was love ?' I questioned myself but soon debunk myself to ensure that I wasn't getting my hopes up again. It was always that way. I should be used to be left hanging because she always does that towards me. Somehow till now ,I can never get use to it nor the pain she always torture me with.

'Seems like I would be occupied with my many If's again.'I thought as I dived within my torturous thoughts.

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Hey guys,I'm back again. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and found out more about Yuri's past.

I tried my best to convey each of their thoughts and character.I hope that you guys would be patient with the soon coming drama because I want to explore their characters first. I have my own flow with this drama and I hope you guys can be patient and follow. This is after all the calm before the storm. Don't forget to subscribe and upvote.Your comments are also highly appreciated. Tell me more about what you  think I should improve and I'll try my best to improve it. 

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Till next update,