Chapter 1: Dysfunctional

Yuri’s POV

I never knew when exactly it had started. All I know is that I love this girl in my arms though I can’t remember how we ended in this position–us on her bed, our legs tangled under the covers, her sleeping on my bare chest, and my arms wrapped around her shoulders.

          ‘How much time had passed by?’ My usual question every time I see the sun rays between the curtains invading through.

All I ever know is that I love this woman. It’s crazy, I know. It’s like I am in a drugged state of mind. My thoughts are only her. My focus is solely on her. My devotion and strength…only for her.

I love this woman to the point of worshipping her but she never takes me seriously and I know that the moment she opens her eyes is the moment this beautiful dream of mine is over.

          She stretched her arms as she sat on the bed. “Good morning.” She said looking at me and yawned.

          “Good morning.” I replied as I sat on the bed.

          “You shouldn’t stare at me like that every morning. You know I hate it.” She said coolly as she got off the bed and headed to the toilet, .

          “Oh, my bad. Sorry ‘bout that…but I can’t promise that it won’t happen again.” I answered with a smile.

          “Hmm...” She’d hummed shortly before she disappeared inside the toilet.

          I got off the bed as my smile faltered and headed to the toilet inside one of her guest rooms as usual.

Every time it’s the same. We make love all night then act unattached the next morning. But the question is, ‘am I really unattached?’

It hurts, at first. Till at some point my heart became numb to all the pain. I love her but she doesn’t love me. ‘Same old plain drama.’ I thought, tiredly. I’m just her toy. I’ve long accepted that fact.

          I drowned myself within my deep thoughts as the water from the shower hit the top of my head. I’ve cried too much tears for her. There are no more tears left for me to shed. I sighed as I thought of what she has made me.

Flashback

          “Yuri! Get a hold of yourself. Look at you! You’re a mess.” Sooyoung, my friend, said as she entered my apartment. It was messy.

I really was a mess that time. It was when Jessica left the city to somewhere unknown. She didn’t tell me where she was going nor did she answer any of my calls. At that time all I could think was that I lost her.

She was nowhere to be found. She went missing for months. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t work for months because of her. The thought of her was consuming me.

I almost jumped down the bridge if it weren’t for my friends. I did not speak a word to anyone when she was gone. I was ed up. Nothing more had to be said.

End of flashback

          I was drying my hair with a towel as I was picking my clothes in the closet. Yes, I have my own closet in her house. It just shows how often I spend time in her house.

          Suddenly, I felt a pair of arms hugging me from behind. Like a habit, she hugs me after my showers. She’d just let go after I had chosen my clothes. She would climb on the bed and watch me dress, which I did as usual. At some point, I’m somehow numb towards her lustful eyes.

          I gave her a long and passionate kiss as I was done. I felt her smirked as she encircled her arms around my neck.

          “Ready to go?” I asked her as we pulled away.

          “Let’s go.” She replied back with a smile

          We both headed down to the parking lot. I felt her eyes on me as we entered the lift. It was a long ride down as her flat is on the highest floor.

          She was undressing me with her eyes again–like she always did.

          ‘Same old routine.’ I thought tiredly as we exited the lift. I sent her to her car before I entered mine as we both drove out.