TAEHYUNG’S POV CONT’D

I drove as fast as I could back to Seoul, all of the roads were extra slow tonight and it was grinding my gears.

Minnie must be crazy if she thinks I’m going to leave without getting her back.

I repetitively beeped at the car in front as it swerved hastily to the side so I could speed past it and dart on the freeway back to my penthouse.

The street lights, headlights and traffic lights were too colourful for my mood, so I ignored them and soon enough the distant lights of Seoul city too, were lighting up what I wanted to be a gloomy night.

By the time I parked my BMW and buzzed to be let in the luxury penthouse block, my anger had gradually subsided and part of me wanted Sooyoung to come over, just so that I could let out my frustration on her.

Yeah judge me all you like but I don’t care, I’m a big guy and I have needs.

I shook my head and lost that lustful thought as the pain had left my mind as quick as it came.

I let myself in and walked down the huge white hallway, as the moonlight was giving my whole penthouse an eerie glow, I didn’t bother turning the lights on as I stopped to stare out of my huge window.

I live on the top floor and so all the glistening skyscrapers and the Lotte world tower came alive at night time, only tonight I was feeling too depressed to appreciate the view.

I sighed and strolled to my massive bathroom, my footsteps echoing off the marble floor as I stood in the middle, staring at my reflection in the mirrors coming back at me from all four sides.

I’ve changed so much.

Anyone would look at me and think I still look like the same Taehyung, but whenever I look at myself, I only see a sinner.

“What have I become...” I mumbled to myself as I sighed and washed my face, the water rejuvenating my senses.

I looked up at the water droplets complementing all my model features, “I promised never to get angry since I stabbed that bastard and now look at me, contemplating about killing someone else. Ya, Samchon did so much for me that time...”

I closed my eyes and threw myself on my four poster feather bed as I reached my arm out next to me, an empty pillow.

I have everything, yet it feels like I haven’t achieved anything.

The doorbell ring broke my gaze from the beautiful night scenery as I stretched my arm over to the bedside speaker and answered.

“Who is it?”

“Aish, you called me over and now you’re asking who it is?!”

Sooyoung.

She actually came.

“Get lost, I’m fine now. Seriously go away.”

“Andwae! I came all the way here looking like a ninja, head to toe in black so no one could recognise me. I didn’t even tell my manager where Id’ be, so you better let me in Kim Taehyung!”

Her shrill voice was hurting my head as I reluctantly pressed the button to let her in.

I soon heard her footsteps pattering down my marble hallway.

“Yaaa, why aren’t the lights on? I could’ve tripped!”

“You shouldn’t have come.”

She came closer to me as I sat up and shook my dark hair forward, covering my forehead.

“Stop right there,” I warned her, but she carried on walking until her face was level with mine.

Although all the lights were off, the moonlight shone off her caked face and thinking I was staring at her with happiness, she had the audacity to try and touch mine.

I immediately pushed her hand away, “Sooyoung...before I – before I do something ed up, please...go away.”

I glared at her with wide eyes, but she didn’t obey.

She never listens to what I say as I felt her sit down next to me on the edge of my bed.

“Hey,” she began in a soft tone which shocked me. I turned to look at her and saw she was serious.

“Why don’t you ever let me in? Forget everything that’s happened between us, you know I can’t leave you because I love you. Even if you don’t love me back, I’ll never be able to stop.”

I laughed wickedly, “You don’t know what love is. You don’t know how it feels to love someone.”

She ignored my tone and carried on distantly, “I do...you accept everything and anything they do, even if it makes you look like a fool...even if your image is tainted, as long as it’s for them, it’s okay. Ya, how comes I’ve known you for as long as Jimin, but you’ve never even batted an eyelash in my direction until high school?”

I stared at Sooyoung with heavy eyes, “You’ve never been yourself around anyone. You always hurt people and you hurt the people who I loved the most. You think everything is about physical attraction, but it isn’t. You just break people’s hearts, you destroyed Chanyeol.”

“Chanyeol? Why are you bringing him up? And do you really think I was always a ? Have you ever heard the saying that behind every is a guy who broke her heart? Chanyeol was my first friend, but you were my first love.”

I rubbed my eyes.

I don’t care about how she feels now, maybe if she acted normal before, none of this would’ve ever happened.

For ’s sake, I just care about getting Minnie back.

I pushed her away and stood up, “Sooyoung, you should go.”

She scowled at me, reading my thoughts, “No. Why is it that no one ever listens to what I have to say? Why am I always the bad one? I love you way more than Song Jasmine any day!”

I flinched.

Something distant was crawling back inside me, something black and evil.

“Sooyoung, I – don’t want to...get lost...go...leave...” I trailed off quietly, my brain pounding against my skull.

She never took the hint as she edged into me, I could smell her strong perfume, it was overpowering and adding to my headache.

“Whenever you react like this, it’s because I’m speaking the truth. How comes you can have with me, but you can’t open up your heart to me?” She was tugging at my red and black striped shirt, waiting for an answer as I tried pulling her hands off me.

She was insisting on an answer, “Answer me! Don’t fight back tonight and tell me what’s so special about her!”

I grabbed her hands in mine and pushed her off me with excessive force; she lost her balance and fell backwards.

Hard.

She hit her head on the marble floor as the bright moonlight shone off a thin line of blood running down her pale forehead.

I tried to shake the demons out of my mind, but they were only playing more instruments in my head.

I clutched on to my temples as Sooyoung stirred and was screaming something to me.

She was cursing, she was chatting so much .

Why can’t she stop talking?

She should’ve left when I told her to go.

Finish her off, take it, take the gun in your back pocket and kill her.

Shred her to pieces, she’s the hurdle that’s blocking Minnie from you.

She’s been doing this for years, she’s always hurt Minnie, and she’s worthless anyway, DO IT!

“NO!” I bellowed out as Sooyoung paused her shrieking.

“What? What do you mean no? So you don’t lov-”

I slid down next to her on my knees and started pushing her to the door, “Leave Sooyounga. Please, get lost, OFF!”

I desperately wanted her to go, I don’t want to kill her, I don’t want to take her away from this evil world just yet.

“Taehyunga, wh-what’s wrong with you? You’ve gone so pale,” She turned to me and cupped my face softly as I closed my eyes.

“I’ve done terrible things in my life and I don’t want to do anymore...” I trailed off, hoping Sooyoung would leave.

Why the doesn’t she go?

“It’s that Song Jasmine isn’t it? Her and those kids! Ya, are you sure they’re even yours? I mean, she was pretty close to Jimin fourteen years ago too an-”

My brain was on the brink of exploding.

Finish her. How dare she, how ing DARE SHE.

I didn’t realise that she’d pulled me in for a hug until her fruity perfume overpowered my thoughts.

My shaking hands reached into my back pocket as I felt something icy cold collide with my skin.

“It’s okay; forget about her and her lies. I don’t think she even loved you anyway.”

I pushed Sooyoung back as she crashed into the wall.

“What the-”

I stood up and cut her off by pulling out the ugly, jet black monster.

I aimed the barrel at her head.

My hands were shaking, but my brain was telling me to do this.

Do it.

Pull it.

Pull the trigger.

“T – T – Taehyung! Tae...tae...p – please...I – I’m sorry, I’ll never get in your way again...But I – I love you...P-please...”

She was begging me for her life.

Her life was in my hands.

I threw my head back and laughed cavernously, a different, disturbing voice overtaking mine.

This voice was the deepest voice I’d ever heard; it wasn’t a human’s voice.

I was trembling at the horror of what was overcoming me, what was now possessing me.

“T – Taehyung...I d-don’t want to d-die...”

I stared at Park Sooyoung, she was a scorpion.

Her pretty eyes, pale skin and red lips, she was a witch.

A striking witch, the nation’s favourite girl idol.

I’m sorry Korea, but witches and scorpions need to be killed before they sting you when your back’s turned.

“I don’t deserve anyone’s love...but I need you to go back to God, or Minnie will never be mine. It’s too late...I – I’ll see you on the other side.”

BANG.

A mosquito like vibration rang through my ears, I felt dizzy and everything was moving in slow motion.

Blood was slowly splattering on the white walls as my vision was obscure and out of focus.

I don’t know why I did it, but I...

BANG.

BANG.

BANG. BANG.

I shot her four more times, all over her body.

Her body which would once run to me without thinking, which would always scream my name.

Blood was spluttering out of Sooyoung as my knees gave way.

I stared at what I just did as I couldn’t hear anything but the remnants of my heart beating.

Sooyoung’s brown eyes were open and her hands were cupped with blood, her arms sprawled out beside her.

She was a dead statue.

Something excruciatingly painful shot through my body as I realised another part of my soul had just left me.

Without thinking, I staggered towards her and closed her eyes.

My hands glided over her body, I placed her arms on top of her and neatened out her blood drenched hair, she was just sleeping.

My hands were wet and sticky as I couldn’t comprehend what I just did.

I didn’t kill her, it wasn’t me...

I DIDN’T KILL HER!

“Now...now we can be together properly and no one will stop us, no one... there’s nothing like us Minnie...”

I heaved myself up and staggered back down again until I regained my balance and leant my head against the wall which was now painted red.

I looked down at my hands and placed them flat on the wall.

I was shaking with terror as I raised my dripping index finger and wrote something on the wall.

Only I wasn’t writing with a pen and the ink was a faint red.

Forgive me Minnie.

I dropped my finger off the wall as I was juddering back and forth; I let my legs slide down on the floor and dropped my head in my hands.

I didn’t cry, no tears were coming out.

I had nothing left.

“Let me go Kim Taehyung, or I swear I’ll start hating you!”

“You are never – EVER taking her out again!”

I opened my swollen eyes, hoping that this was all a dream, hoping everything was a messed up nightmare.

But it wasn’t.

Sooyoung was dead, she was on my penthouse floor and the night was only getting deeper.

I slowly stood up and walked over to my phone.

I tried to pick it up, but it slipped from my grasp as I winced in pain and lifted it again.

I dialled a number.

She picked up on the last ring.

There was silence.

“Minnie, it’s me...”

She didn’t say anything, but I could hear a high pitched crying and shouting from behind her.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I heard more high pitched shouting before a car door opened and slammed, Minnie was outside.

“No one’s been able to calm Taehee down since you left. I – I’m bringing her to you, she’s in a bad state.”

I gulped and looked around me with panic, “You can’t. I mean, I – I’ll come over tomorrow.”

“Taehyung, what don’t you understand? She hasn’t eaten anything and she hasn’t stopped calling out for you once! You won’t get a chance to hurt her, I – I’m going to take her back with me as soon as she calms down,” Minnie replied hesitantly before she cut the line.

I bit down on my lip as a dim cloud crossed the moon, covering the only light I had.

I sat in the darkness and rocked myself slowly.

I turned to Sooyoung, she wasn’t stirring.

Her blood had dried up and she was peacefully lying there, in the centre of my hallway.

Taehee, Taehee is my angel...

She can’t come here, I can’t let her in the devil’s home, and I can’t pollute her innocent mind with my vision.

I lost track of time whilst gazing at the dead body, my long legs stretched in front of me and my black hoodie shielding my face from the moonlight.

Hours went by, I never once moved from the position I was in.

How can love turn on its heel like this?

I’ve done this all for Minnie, yet the thought of her seeing me like this, the thought of her entering my presence makes me nervous.

The thought of her looking at me sends shivers down my spine.

I don’t even want to look at myself.

Just then, my doorbell rung as I lifted my head up.

It rung again, it kept on ringing and ringing.

No, no, God please.

They can’t see me like this, they can’t see me, my family will crumble.

I used my hands to slide my weak body to the remote controller and silenced the buzzing as someone was turning the handle of my door rapidly.

I looked towards the door with sadness and fright, I’m so sorry but I can’t let you in.

I can’t have Taehee hating me too.

“Appa, Appa! Open up! Appa, it’s me, Taehee! I’m back!”

Her voice was wobbling as she was crying, desperately calling out for me whilst I could hear Minnie gently comforting her.

I sniffed and tried to compose my voice, “Taehee-ah...Appa will see you t –tomorrow...”

“A-Appa, we gu re?? What’s wrong? It’s only me...” Taehee sniffed sadly.

Whatever was still inside my black hole of a heart started aching and melting at the sound of my daughter crying for me.

There was a brief silence as I took my eyes away from the direction of the door and looked down, my bottom lip pouting out, trying to stop my wide, vulnerable eyes from tearing up.

“Taehyung, it’s me. Open the door,” Minnie tried to sound calm, but I could tell she was angry and confused about my behaviour.

I pressed my dark hair over my forehead and sighed deeply, “I don’t want Taehee to see me like this, o-only you come i-in...”

“Taehyung? What’s happened?” Minnie whispered more softly into the front door speaker.

Her voice resonated through my penthouse as I felt a warm tear running down my face before I pressed the open button on the master remote controller.

I heard the click of the door open.

“Taehee, stay here.”

“But Eomma-”

“I mean it. Stay here.”

She closed the door behind her as I could hear her walking down the front hallway.

She wouldn’t be able to see anything, the lights were all off and Sooyoung’s body was in the same room as I was in.

“T – Taehyung?”

Her voice was scared, she was still so scared of me.

Is this the love I wished for?

I didn’t reply to her, I stayed stationary as her angelic presence filled this dark space with momentary hope and happiness.

My voice echoed through my spacious front room, “Don’t come any closer, please...run away from me before it takes over again...”

“Taehyung, w-what are you saying? Before what takes over...”

Her voice trailed off as she dropped her gaze to my floor.

I looked up at her through my fringe and the feeling of crippling pain shot through me, “I promise I’m not a monster.”

I slowly got up and limped towards her, sitting on the floor for hours made my legs fuzzy.

My Minnie, my Song Jasmine, my everything, heaved her shocked gaze from Sooyoung’s body to my brown saucers.

“You didn’t...You can’t have done...” She was choking on her words as I edged closer to her, I wanted to explain everything to her, it was all playing out so well in my mind so why can’t I speak now?

She was stepping back, her teeth were chattering.

“I did it for you, we can be together, our children and our families. We can start fresh with no one in our way...”

“No, Taehyung...this isn’t good...what – why – how did you...” She hesitated as I saw a look of mistrust in her eyes for me.

She doesn’t trust me.

Taehyung, your Minnie...

She isn’t yours, she doesn’t trust you even though you begged her, you exposed yourself to her, you did everything you could and more for this girl and she doesn’t even trust you.

Before I could say anything, my stomach rumbled and I started choking on a thick substance which was pouring down from the sides of my mouth.

My long fingers quivered to my mouth as red stained my nails.

Minnie’s beautiful hazel eyes were massive and fearful as she lifted her arm out to me, she was reaching out to me...

I lifted my bloody hand to her, we were so close again...

All of a sudden, my legs gave way as I roared out loud, my whole body was throbbing and my mind was being pressed hard, the vessels in my brain were contracting and all my thoughts were muddled.

I heard the front door slam loudly as an echo of silence ensued.

I don’t know if this was the tumour or the side effects of my medicine, but I couldn’t take the pain anymore, I was burning up everywhere as I staggered into my bathroom on all fours, leaving a trail of dotted blood behind me.

When I entered the huge shower cubicle, I held onto my aching ribs and reached up to turn on the shower.

My body was burning up, I felt like I was in hell until the cold water sprayed down on me from above, it was trying to put out my fire within.

I was bawling my eyes out like never before as the showering water concealed my tears, this way no one would ever call me a wimp.

“Appa...bogo shipeo...I miss you...” I choked to the heavens, through the rushing sound of water drenching my clothes and hair.

My face crumpled and shook, the blood was being washed off my empty hands and I was being cleansed, the water was desperately trying to purify me.

I closed my eyes and desperately tried to stop memories from flooding my already ed up head...

“Hyung! She’s my first love, I have to protect her and make sure she stays mine!” Taehyung shouted down the empty hallway, school was over hours ago and Minnie hadn’t come in the whole day.

Yoongi loosened his tie and put an arm around a teenage Taehyung who was much taller than him.

“Taehyunga, why are you so scared she’ll go away from you? If you guys love each other, then no power can undo the bond you share,” Yoongi told Taehyung calmly, yet firmly.

Taehyung jumped up on the sunny windowsill and lifted his legs up, ignoring a teacher giving him evils.

“Ya seonsaengnim, I dare you to give me another detention!” Taehyung bellowed at the teacher who tutted and mumbled something about Gyojang Yi always covering up for Taehyung, before she scuttled down the hallway.

Yoongi chuckled and shook his head, Taehyung will never mature.

“Haven’t you seen how beautiful she’s become? Ya, guys are animals and I don’t want her to fall as anyone’s prey,” Taehyung remarked cockily, but with a nervous undertone.

Yoongi sighed and tilted his head to the side lazily, his prominent jaw sticking out as he analysed his younger brother.

“The first time you fell in love was with Minnie, because she was everything you needed at a time when you had no one. But Taehyung, don’t make the rookie mistake of thinking that a childhood love can be projected forever, I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

Taehyung stared at Yoongi solemnly before he nodded and gazed out at the bright sunshine radiating off all the happy students down below who’d just finished after school clubs.

“I know hyung. But how can I stop myself? I’ve left the purest part of me in her that no one else can get, not even me. She holds my innocence, my dreams and my happiness. If I can’t have her, if for some reason she becomes someone else’s...then I’m scared of what I’ll become...I – I can’t explain it but I need her...”

Yoongi stared wide eyed at his beloved, handsome dongsaeng.

Taehyung continued with a shaky voice, “She can never forget the truth, that I was always by her side...she can’t erase my heart that could sacrifice everything for her in a beat...”

Yoongi edged in to Taehyung as they shared a hug that temporarily washed the understood pain away.

I opened my throbbing eyes.

The shower had automatically turned off and my landline was now ringing.

My body was shivering, but I was clean.

For now.

I stayed slumped on the wet floor as my answering machine and someone was leaving a message.

The answer phone broke the lonely silence in my penthouse as it echoed through the landline speakers which were also attached to the bathroom.

“Taehyung, its Dr Ying here. Where have you been this week? We need to discuss your pending medication and treatment. The good news is your reports have come back from Beijing and the tumour is under control! You can get back to normal in no time and we can lower your dosage. Call me when you hear this.”

I tilted my head back and rested it on the shower wall.

Even if I manage to physically get better, my mind is still ed up beyond control.

I’m still a murderer.

Now I’ve killed two people.

********************

JUNGKOOK’S POV

“If that’s all the questions, then we’ll get straight to the photo session and conclude this press interview.”

I looked down the long table at Bang PD nim who was being extra kind to the press today.

I turned back to the audience.

From where we were sitting, the reporters always looked nonexistent and blurred out by the strong lights until you saw consecutive flashes, signalling where they were situated.

“As this is your first press conference since Park Jimin’s departure, it seems strange that Kim Taehyung ssi isn’t present. Will he be leaving too?” A KBS reporter tauntingly asked from the crowd.

I furrowed my eyebrows momentarily before looking down, how dare she ask that?

Is she trying to curse us?

Rapmon hyung smiled and took the microphone from Bang PD nim who looked equally as flustered and annoyed at this question.

“I think many of you are probably thinking the same thing. Actually as everyone knows, Jimin and Taehyung have always been childhood friends and have known each other the longest, so naturally Taehyung is the most affected by Jimin’s departure. Jimin didn’t want to leave, but his circumstances left him no choice. Taehyung is deeply apologetic for missing today’s conference, but his timetable has been clashing lately.”

I nodded curtly at hyung’s reply, he always knew what to say and that shut the reporter noona up as she never said anything else.

After a quick check for anymore questions, we all got up one by one and walked over to the place where we’d have to pose for pictures.

I tried to smile, but my lips weren’t letting me as my two favourite brothers weren’t with us for the first time since we became Bangtan Sonyeondan.

I sighed as Hobie put his hand comfortingly around my shoulder.

He leaned his head into me for a picture, “Don’t be sad Kookie, we know where he is and we’ll visit him later on.” he whispered as I finally had something to look forward to.

I flashed a toothy smile to the cameras as my heart became lighter, no one knew where Jimin hyung had gone and hearing Hobie say that truly made me happy.

We all bowed and thanked the journalists for coming.

“Help yourself to the refreshments and get home safely, it’s turning really cold outside,” Jin hyung smiled at them as they clapped for us.

As soon as we got out of the Lotte hotel press conference room, we were flooded by an ocean of ARMY’s as they were being held back by barriers and security guards.

We waved to them and smiled at their screaming our names before we jumped into our van and went back to the Big Hit building.

Ever since we’ve become worldwide sensations, the Big Hit building has also glowed up and is comparable only to the YG entertainment building.

To be honest, there’s no point in having all these luxuries when the people who you dreamed of sharing them with aren’t here and are each fighting their own battles.

To be honest, I don’t even know where V hyung is, none of us do.

All I know is that ever since Minnie came back to Korea with Taewon and Taehee, V hyung has been so careless towards the media, he’s been affected by the most scandals and its gone beyond pissing the managers off, they are just plain worried at his lack of  care.

My Appa has remained the governor of Old Daegu for twelve years now, partly because every time he has an event, I always make time to show up and generate even more popularity for him.

It’s the least I can do, and although he doesn’t show it, Junghyun hyung is always on his mind.

I don’t know what’s going on with Minnie’s Halapoji and his party, but last I heard, they were helping the community out practically rather than fuelling them with ideas of old imperialism and Confucian fantasies of driving western influences out of our country.

Yes, that’s right.  Ever since I finally got my degree, I’ve been speaking more logically and intelligently.

“Junggkuk! What are you still doing out there? Get in, you’ll catch a cold,” Jin hyung called out for me as I was so lost in my thoughts that I was just standing outside the Big Hit building, being gawked at and photographed by girls.

I shook my head and looked down before entering the building as a trainee purposely bumped into me.

“Omo, joesonghamnida oppa!” She squealed excitedly as her friend dragged her away and they both started giggling.

I was way past the phase of being awkward around girls, although I still didn’t know how to react; I was more in control of my feelings.

The only problem is, none of us have managed to sustain relationships with the exception of Hobie and Jin hyung.

Yoongi hyung is still on his search for a girl with more character and Namjoon hyung never finds a girl who can truly accept him for who he is.

And Jimin and Taehyung, well, everyone knows the deal with them.

Jin hyung is currently secretly dating a radio show presenter and Hobie is getting really close to the lead dancer of a girl group.

The sad part is that the girl Jin hyung is dating is called Seoyeon and she looks exactly like the Seoyeon who’s buried beside my brother.

I pressed the elevator button and waited for it to come down from the twentieth floor which was where our practice rooms and lounge was situated.

I miss Jimin hyung, I hope he’s doing well and keeping healthy.

I heard that his parents and dongsaeng came from Busan to take care of him; but I wish I could take care of him the same way he always used to protect me from strange remarks and rumours when I was at my most vulnerable.

I sighed, it’s not even Minnie’s fault.

“It’s me,” I called out to my brothers as they had locked the suite door from the inside because of a past event that happened with a trainee girl.

Two years ago, a fresh batch of Big Hit trainees were enrolled and there were girls this time round, not just boys as Bang PD nim has always done.

When it came to their monthly review, I was the only Bangtan member with a free schedule so had to help judge their progress collectively and when they found out I was judging, they all put extra effort in their routines.

Over the years, I’ve seen all sorts of idols ranging from purely talented turning self destructive and even some idols that paid their way in, or were just in the industry because of scandals with producers and CEO’s.

So seeing these new trainees never really sparked any shock, they were all just average, except one.

Her name was Hi-Ra and her looks didn’t captivate me as I’ve learnt that beauty isn’t everything, it was her dancing which triggered a distant passion inside me.

Watching her was evident to see that she was born with the free flow and natural gift of dancing that made me take a liking to her.

Initially, this was purely a sunbaenim liking, nothing more and nothing less.

But then I’d find myself eating in the Big Hit general canteen on the ground floor rather than the separate canteen BTS had which was on the tenth floor.

I wouldn’t really be eating for fun; my eyes would always search for Hira.

She had jet black hair and wasn’t skinny like all the other trainees, not to mention she had cute dimples and a smile which would light a thousand dark tunnels that I’d never been able to escape from in my mind.

Of course, all the other girls got jealous when I’d try to talk to her because she was always sitting alone or being a victim of rumours and even a fight at one point.

I found myself angry every time they picked fights with her and was so close to intervening until I stepped back and realised that BTS cannot afford another scandal.

We’ve been here before, we’d had rumours about trainee girls spread around.

Me especially, rumours have always been spread around that I’ve dated a trainee girl at a time when I too was a trainee.

Unless they were talking about Sooyoung...

Anyway, long story short, they tricked her and said that the girls dormitory was right at the top floor which every trainee knows is out of bounds, the twentieth floor is Bangtan Boys floor and if caught up here, a trainee could ge