JASMINE’S POV

His front door was unlocked, I was calling his name out but there was no reply.

I brushed beads of sweat off my forehead, the taxi was caught in traffic and I promised to spend my birthday evening with Jimin so ran here as fast as I could.

I called his name out louder, still no reply.

My heart sunk into my belly when I saw colourful balloons decorating the floor, handmade decorations draping the walls and ceilings.

I bent forward and caught my breath as all sorts of emotions whizzed through me.

Oh Jimin, I don’t deserve someone like you...

I heard the sound of splashing water from upstairs as I edged my way to the staircase, clutching onto my palpitating heart.

I stopped short when I saw familiar Polaroid photographs scattered on each stair.

With shaking hands I picked a few up and my vision became blurry with tears as I sniffed and placed them to my heart.

I definitely don’t deserve you Jimin.

Where did you even manage to find these photos?

Ya please God, give me strength, and guide me for I don’t know what I want...

I was dragged back into reality when the sound of water got louder as alarm bells started going off in my mind.

“Jiminie? Is everything okay in there?” I crept towards the bathroom, not wanting to intrude on his privacy.

Something wasn’t right, why was the carpet wet?

Ya! The water is so cold!

It must be the mountain water.

“Jiminie...Jimin?”

No reply, just the sound of running water gushing out from the bath taps.

I slowly opened the door and a wave of desperation flooded my senses...

No.

No...

My heart missed a couple of beats as my eyes were trying to comprehend what I could see.

“JIMIN, NO! What are you doing?! YA!”

I was shrieking, I was terrified, I couldn’t breathe...

My trembling arms heaved Jimin’s lifeless body out of his overflowing bath tub as my breathing became sharp and painful.

His face was paper pale and thin, his button nose was bright red and his pouty lips were bright pink as water gently slid down his face.

His temporary hair dye coloured the water blood red as his brown hair was flat and covering his forehead in locks.

“JIMIN, JIMIN PLEASE, I BEG YOU...Don’t do this...Jehbal...hajima...”

I wrapped my arms around Jimin and tilted his head forward, trying to put him in recovery position.

I checked his pulse, but couldn’t find anything.

“HELP ME! ANYONE! PLEASE! HELP ME! Oh Jimin, not you, you can’t...you can’t do this to me...I – I’ll kill myself...please...”

I pressed my teary face on his soft cheeks as his angelic eyes were peacefully closed.

No, please, PLEASE...

Don’t – don’t – don’t do this to your Minnie...

I ripped my jacket and oversized jumper off.

I pulled the jumper over Jimin’s wet, ice cold body and layered the jacket on top of him, God knows how long his body was in that freezing water for.

I don’t care, I don’t care, Jimin can’t... he can’t d...di....

I fumbled for my phone, but my fingers had thawed over.

The blood had stopped rushing to them.

“Hold on Jiminie, hold on...” I whispered to him as I dialled the ambulance whilst keeping one arm constantly around my Jimin.

Just then, his body became extremely hot, he was burning up, he was burning my arm.

I tried letting go, but our skin had meshed together, our flesh was burning together.

This pain was excruciatingly evil, I couldn’t let go...

All of a sudden, Jimin’s body erupted in flames and I couldn’t do anything but be blinded by his bright burning...

“Jasmine! Jasmine, wake up my child!”

My soul was being gifted back to my body as I stirred.

My eyes slowly opened and I saw Halapoji’s worried face hovering over mine.

I was in his lap and the room we were in was dimly lit.

I stared at his homely face for a split second before I looked around.

We were in a large hospital waiting room; this was a very familiar sight.

My eyes darted to the huge clock, it was 2.30 am and there were two nurses behind the reception desk, but I couldn’t see anyone else, it was just me and Halapoji. 

I gulped; this was that same hospital waiting room that Halmeouni first got admitted in when she had a heart attack all those years back.

This was the same hospital I woke up in when Eonni and Junghyun died that dreadful night.

“JIMIN!” I instantly jumped up and felt pain soar through my chest.

I turned to Halapoji, “Where’s Jimin?! Tell me it was all a nightmare? Jiminie’s okay, right?”

My hands were squeezing Halapoji’s as tears filled his sad eyes.

A heavy weight destroyed my heart as I tried to speak, but no sound was coming out.

It can’t be...

Just before I could burst, Halapoji my hair and gazed into my eyes distantly.

“He’s in ICU. Everyone is in that waiting room, but you were crying too much and no one could get you to stop.” Halapoji’s voice broke, “Y – you fell unconscious crying and these nurses brought you here. Your Appa has gone to collect Jimin’s family from Busan.”

There was an empty silence as I stared at him blankly, before my lips quivered and I closed my eyes.

“He – he’ll be okay?”

Halapoji turned his head away from me and nodded once, “All we can do is pray.”

I couldn’t feel my heart beating anymore as I rubbed my chest, “I – I want to see him. Take me to see him Halapoji, please...”

“Sonnyeo, your state isn’t-”

I cut him off as I sat up furiously, “I am NOT losing another piece of my heart. I – I need to see him...he’s in ICU because he’s still breathing, right? I’ll be fine...I just can’t have someone else leave me...”

I trailed off as my voice wobbled, Halapoji squeezing my hand comfortingly the entire time as he slowly nodded and helped me get up.

One of the young nurses came rushing over to us as Halapoji whispered something to her.

She bowed and beckoned me to follow her as Halapoji was still holding onto my right hand tightly.

Every step I took to the ICU wing was heavy and tearful, but we eventually got there as I finally laid my eyes on everyone.

I saw Uncle Hwijae first as he came over to me and hugged me as I was momentarily calm, before I looked around the waiting room and creased my eyebrows.

“Where are my children?” I demanded as Namjoon and Jungkook both jumped up.

I guess they were shocked at the sudden noise, but no one answered me so I repeated myself but with more anger and force in my voice.

“Are you all deaf? Where’s Taewon and Taehee?!” I shouted as I looked around, until Taehyung came rushing out of ICU.

“They – they’re at home with Halmeouni, Aunt Jeong and my Eomma. They’re still sleeping, no one told them or Halmeouni anything jagiya,” Taehyung rubbed my shoulder lovingly, but I brushed him away with annoyance.

He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

If I went to Jimin’s house in the first place, none of this would’ve happened. 

I stared at Taehyung’s wide eyes, tears had made his beautiful face dripping wet as his lips were swollen and his face was puffy.

After all, Jimin and Taehyung were always the inseparable brothers and knew each other longer before I came to town.

Taehyung must be so devastated and yet, he’s still trying to make me feel better.

I sighed, this wasn’t Taehyung’s fault, what am I even saying?

All of this was my fault.

If I had never shown my ugly face again, Jiminie would never have been this upset.

Jimin would never have felt the need to try and do suicide.

I gave Taehyung a wobbly smile, “Thanks.”

I looked around the waiting room.

Yoongi was right in the corner with his head shoved in his hands, shielding his face from everyone as Hobie was walking up and down behind him, biting his nails as tears were constantly trickling off his defined chin.

Namjoon was clutching onto a trembling Jungkook tightly with both arms whilst he was concentrating on closing his eyes to take the pain away.

I saw Seokjin asking the nurse for more details until he forced her to give him Jimin’s clipboard as he frantically tried making sense of all the Doctor’s notes with puffy eyes.

Uncle Jihu and Jiho were with a sleeping Seoeon and Seojun untilUncle Hwijae told them to go home as it was getting late and he’d stay here with Halapoji.

I closed my eyes; Jimin was the soul of everyone.

My feet had carried me over to Jimin’s room as Taehyung stepped forward, but Namjoon pulled his hand to stop him as I momentarily paused before slowly pushing the glass door.

There was only one light on as all the blinds were drawn, giving the room an even gloomier and destroyed feeling.

The first thing I heard were the sound of beeping machines and the sound of air being deeply inhaled before being exhaled a second later with an echo.

That was Jimin’s lapsing breathing, he was struggling to breathe, he was on the brink of life and death.

All because of me.

I sniffed and turned my face around, keeping my eyes closed for another minute as I was trying to familiarise myself with the eerie surroundings.

I opened my eyes but instantly wished I hadn’t.

Park Jimin was lying in the centre of a huge white, hospital bed with wires attached all over his arms as a huge air mask draped the bottom half of his angelic face.

His soft, brown hair was sprawled out on the white pillow and his eyes were closed and quietly slanted upwards.

A huge blanket was covering his body as computers and pulse machines were beeping green, adding to the light in this dull room.

My weak legs shuffled to the foot of Jimin’s bed as I had to cover my mouth or I’d have screamed out in pain.

My shivering fingers glided across Jimin’s blanket as I kneeled down next to him, tilting my head to meet his face as I rested my arm on the side of his bed gently.

I gazed at an unconscious Park Jimin as that same wave of emotions I’d been feeling for my whole life flooded through my system.

Hearing the sound of his heart beat gave me hope as I his silky hair back and drew small circles on his forehead lightly.

I could do this for hours and not get tired.

“Oh Jiminie...wae? Why would you do this to yourself?” I spoke softly as I picked up his warm fingers.

My quivering lips pecked each of his fingers as I lay my forehead on his sideboard, all the while never taking my eyes off Jimin.

I let tears roll off my face and splash onto Jimin’s hand with the hope that there was magic in them, that Jimin would wake up at my touch and flash me his priceless eye smile.

I blinked as jumbled memories instantly took this opportunity to resonate through my mind and heart.

“Samchon! You don’t need a star on top of the Christmas tree, just put Minnie up there and she’ll make everything glow!”

“I’ll always be waiting for you...”

“Mianhae Minnie, I never meant to make you upset. Seeing you happy makes my day, I don’t want anything else.”

“Don’t lie to me. You’re jealous of me and Irene...”

“Haha, when you have children, I’ll be content with being their Samchon. I don’t need anyone else.”

“You were my first and last love, never forget that.”

I grinned as I opened my eyes, only to let it be replaced with sorrow.

My happy Jimin was tied up in a bed of wires and artificial support to give him life.

“Jimin...you...you don’t know how much I love you too...”

My voice trailed off, I didn’t know what I was saying anymore, but it’s time I let my heart speak for me.

It’s time to un-bottle everything.

If I do it now, it won’t eat me on the inside and I can focus on helping Jimin get better.

I closed my eyes and ravished all the memories again.

“Haha... w – why didn’t I see this before? When I thought I lost you in that bathtub, I didn’t want to live anymore, how crazy is that? Jimin, you are my lifeline, you are my everything... I – I know you can’t hear me, but...but just know that you will always be my last love no matter what happens...I don’t know who or what a first love is but I know that I’ve never loved anyone like I love you, Park Jimin...”

I sniffed and didn’t realise I had laid my head on Jimin’s pillow so that I was inches away from his soft face.

“I – I read somewhere that we never see what we truly have until we lose it, but I can’t lose you! Do you hear me? Don’t you think about leaving me alone! I promise you – once you open your eyes, you’ll be on the receiving end of love...I’m so scared of walking out of this room and never spending a day with you...please stay by my side...don’t go back to heaven...not yet...you – you complete me Jimin...”

My voice trailed off as Jimin’s heavy breathing echoed through the room.

The door slammed shut as I jumped and turned around, only to see empty space.

I shrugged it off and dropped my eyes back to Jimin; I promise everything will be okay.

You won’t have to suffer anymore, you’ll be treated like the Prince you are.

********************

Park Jimin leaving BTS?

Fans left heartbroken as rumours circulating Park Jimin’s departure confirmed to be true.

After 15 years of rollercoaster rides with BTS, Park Jimin leaves the pack.

Depression overcame Park Jimin as close source reveals the deep sadness behind the nation’s eye smile.

Here’s a look at some of Park Jimin’s best and memorable moments as BTS’ lead dancer and singer:

ARMY’s worldwide have turned to social media to express their sorrow and pain as Twitter hashtag generates a groundbreaking three million retweets! #StaystrongJimin

Check out Big Hit’s official statement:

After lengthy discussions with Park Jimin, it was judged that it would be difficult for him to continue activities through Bangtan Sonyeondan. The remaining members have made his health and recovery the priority, so have collectively decided to support him off screen as friends and colleagues. BTS will not gain a seventh member and we ask for support from you all.

“Ya Taehee turn this trash off! The school bus is here, ppalli!” I shouted as Taehee jumped up in her new school uniform.

I took one look at her and gulped before stuffing her packed lunch in her bag and walking her to the door.

Looking at Taehee, I couldn’t help but remember my first day at Daegu High even though I was years older than her.

She’s going to have one long rollercoaster ride, and I hope she makes the most of it without getting into silly trouble like me.

“Taewonah! Ya, where’s your brother?!” I turned to Taehee who shrugged her shoulders.

At least she’ll have Taewon to protect her.

I shook my hair back and clenched my teeth, this was their first day and they’d be late already.

Seconds later, Taewon ran down the landing with his rucksack over his shoulder as I swung my arms for him to hurry up.

“I was just saying goodbye to hyung! He told me to say bye to him when I was about to leave and-”

I cut Taewon off and squeezed his cheeks, “Well you’re going to be late and your hyung should’ve known better!”

I turned to Taehee who was fidgeting with her hair before I turned back and gazed at my handsome son.

His hair was bouncy and fluffy as he looked like a teen Taehyung, but with polished shoes and a neat school uniform.

“Promise me you’ll take care of your sister, this is the start of a long school road and you have to hold her hand throughout,” I whispered to Taewon who gave me a huge hug before he nodded and pinky promised me.

“Taewonah, let’s go!” Taehee yelled as she waved to me and dragged Taewon away by his blazer.

I waited at the front gates as their school bus drove down the road to Daegu High.

They were the second students to be picked up and so I couldn’t really see who was in their class as the bus was practically empty.

I smiled before enjoying the cool morning breeze of Old Daegu before strolling back inside, Jimin needs his breakfast.

He got discharged from hospital two weeks ago and these past couple of days have been really hectic for him, BTS and all of Korea.

Countless rumours have been pumping out of social media, including the mystery of his current whereabouts and so he was staying with us for the meantime until he’s fit enough to go to Busan and stay with his family there.

Jimin told his family not to come to Daegu as hundreds and thousands of fans were watching their every move in Busan and were always creating an undying rush in the family restaurant, demanding to know ewhere Jimin was. 

Every single news channel has a segment regarding Jimin’s departure from BTS and I guess it is devastating for his loyal fans.

After fifteen years of BTS members pulling through everything together, Jimin’s departure has left so many people sad, angry and determined to find him so that he can answer their questions.

Of course Halmeouni was over the moon when she found out Jimin was staying with us although we never told her he tried to do suicide, we just said he was leaving BTS and needed somewhere private to stay.

Everyone, especially Taewon are ecstatic at Jimin staying with us, but Taehee’s attitude was worrying me.

She’s being so cold to Jimin, even though he was always her bias.

She’s been spending loads of time with Taehyung, but right now he’s with the rest of BTS in Seoul to face the press so can only FaceTime and message her.

Taehyung thinks Jimin is staying in his old house and we go to check on him, he’s oblivious to Jimin living with us although I have an inkling that Taehee has already told him.

I haven’t spoken to Taehyung since Jimin got discharged from hospital.

As I walked down our landing to Jimin’s room, I shielded my eyes from the morning rays of bright sunshine which was giving everything a warm yellow glow.

I stopped outside Jimin’s room and knocked once on the door.

I get so worried if he doesn’t reply, so I slowly opened the door and went inside.

Aunt Jeong was folding his washed clothes and putting them beside his bed as our eyes met and she gave me a warm smile.

My eyes darted to Jimin who was sleeping peacefully under the soft duvet with feather pillows surrounding his head, his brown hair spread across the pillows, and his hand inches from his face.

He looked so cosy and was getting much better as the days were going past. 

Aunt Jeong was staying with us until Jimin gets better and can go back to Busan as someone needs to look after Halmeouni too.

“Did the twins go off okay?” She asked quietly, trying not to wake Jimin up as I looked back to her pretty face and nodded.

“I just hope they’ll settle in well. Did Taewon say goodbye to Jimin?” I asked as Aunt Jeong finished folding Jimin’s clothes and walked towards me.

She grinned, “Ya that boy! He said goodbye to a sleeping Jimin and wanted to stay by his side until he woke up! Jimin was up until late helping Seojun and Seoeon with school preparations and so couldn't wake up early to see Taewon and Taehee off.”

I laughed out loud, “He’s gotten so attached to Jimin, but I’m worried for the lack of relationship he has with Taehyung. They get along well but Taewon talks much higher of Jimin.”

“Don’t worry; things will fall into place sooner or later. Only yesterday Taewon told me he wishes Taehyung could stay with us too,” Aunt Jeong informed me as I raised my eyebrows, I hope that was true.

Reading my thoughts, she squeezed my hand, “A father son relationship is much harder to sustain and develop. Taewon and Taehyung are too much alike and so inevitably won’t see eye to eye. Just give it time Minnie.”

I nodded and sighed.

Just then, Jimin turned to the other side and yawned once as I felt Aunt Jeong’s eyes scrutinising my expression.

When I met her eye, she continued scrutinising me before she walked out of the door and closed it behind her.

Moments later, Jimin opened his puffy eyes and stared at the ceiling before turning to the windows and trying to smile at the sky.

He had a distant, borderline sad look on his face as he brushed his morning hair back and yawned again, unaware that I was standing there.

We hadn’t had a proper conversation in these past two weeks, I’ll just make Jimin’s food and have Aunt Jeong or Taewon send it up but never go myself.

The only time I went to his room was to put a fresh jug of water by his lamp when I thought he was sleeping, only to find him wide awake and staring blankly into the night sky.

He'd given his phone to Uncle Hwijae, he didn't want anyone to disturb him and was scared of breaking down if he read messages from fans.

No words were exchanged and I heard him sniff, but quickly left the room before my eyes had a chance to cry.

Halapoji, Appa and my uncles took it on themselves to try and get Jimin back to his daily routine by taking him to the balcony and on walks with them, but he’d come back home and still be the same distant Jimin.

The only time I heard him laugh was when Halmeouni and Taewon came to his room and they were all talking for hours.

No one from BTS have had a chance to visit him yet and he sent his decision to leave the group via his attorney, so he must be feeling so alone right now.

I took a deep breath and walked towards his bed as he turned his head to face me.

Our eyes instantly locked and I looked away.

I bit down on my lip and cleared my throat, “The twins have their first day of school today,” I croaked.

There was a silence before I spoke again.

“Don’t let the sun deceive you, it’s really cold outside today. I guess Summer is officially over haha.”

There was another silence as I stared at Jimin who was looking outside again.

Some time passed in silence, before I turned to get his breakfast ready.

He was just about eating solid foods and I wanted to cook him all of his favourite dishes.

Just as I was leaving, Jimin spoke.

“Why didn’t you let me die?”

There was a dragging stillness as my eyelids crinkled up with pain at his words.

I gulped and realised Jimin was waiting for a reply.

I mustered all my courage and turned back around to look at him again, he was now sitting up and his eyes were slanted and piercing every nerve I had.

He was bare faced and his brown hair was messy, his morning face was swollen yet looked dangerously attractive.

“Why...why would you want to d-die Jimin?” I replied quietly as his expression stayed the same.

“There was nothing left to live for. If you’ve lived a useless life, you’d know how it feels but your life is worry free and perfect. Two beautiful kids and a loving family, oh and Kim Taehyung...what else do you need?”

My mouth dropped open, Jimin hardly said anything since he was discharged and this was the most I’d heard him say.

I immediately walked over to his bedside and gave him a glass of water, worried that his body wouldn’t be able to cope with the sudden speech and stress he was giving himself.

I was giving him the glass but he never took it, his angry expression still stretched wide across his soft face.

“Drink it, the Doctor’s said you can’t-”

He cut me off, “I don’t care what the doctors say. Answer me. Why didn’t you let me die, huh? Wae? My Halmeouni was taking me away from here and you dragged me back! You selfish girl!”

He clutched onto his duvet covers with such force that his arm veins were protruding out and his jaw was clenching wildly.

I knew he’d go through this faze, but it’s so unexpected from someone like Jimin, it’s so shocking to see him be this angry.

“Jiminie...I – I...”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT! DON’T – YOU – DARE – BRING BACK – EVERYTHING! YOU...” He roared, until a crash made him trail off.

The glass of water slipped through my palms as I was frightened by his outburst.

Broken glass scattered everywhere as the water drenched my socks and the floorboards.

My eyes were wide and I could feel pain in my heel as Jimin’s temper instantly cooled off as he looked down at the floor.

He lifted the duvet off his lap and immediately stretched forward to lift me up by the waist as he forced me to sit down on the mattress.

“You pabo...” He said quietly as he pushed me back and examined my bleeding foot where the glass cut me.

He held my foot in one hand as he opened the draw under the bedside lamp and took out some tissues and a plaster.

He dipped the tissues in water as he cleaned the blood off my heel before applying a large plaster on it.

All the while, my eyes never once left Jimin’s face.

His cheeks had become rosy from his anger, but his eyes were concentrating on treating my foot as I couldn’t stop a smile forming on my lips.

He met my eyes and furrowed his eyebrows, “Buyo? What are you looking at?”

I shook my head quickly and dragged my foot out of his grasp, “Nothing. Uh, thanks for the plaster Jimin.”

He pursed his lips and became silent again as we shared another awkward silence before I looked at the floor and made ways to pick up the glass in case they cut someone else.

Jimin extended his arm out and pushed me back softly, “Are you stupid or what? You’re going to cut your hands next!”

He was wearing an old basketball vest and tracksuit bottoms as he jumped out from the other side of his bed and went out of the room, only to come back moments later with a dustpan and brush.

“Jimin hajima, give it here. You’re supposed to be resting. Ya, let me do it!” I said loudly as Jimin ignored my protesting and started sweeping up the stray bits of glass.

He turned to me, “Roll off the other side and walk around to the door. I don’t want you in here unless you’re wearing shoes.”

“But Jimin, I-”

He cut me off and widened his eyes, “It’s the least you can do after bringing me back to this damned world.”

I was taken aback at the venom in his voice for waking up healthily as I swallowed and did what Jimin said.

I walked out of his room, only to meet Uncle Hwijae in the landing.

He had a huge smile stretched on his face as  he fixed his glasses and made jazz hands before patting my shoulder hard.

“Ya, Uncle Hwijae! Did your comedy show sell out or something? Why so happy, huh?” I asked as I rubbed my shoulder.

“Pabo! Look who’s here!”

He ran behind me and pushed me to walk faster to the living room as I wondered who it could be.

I went in the living room and froze when I saw two familiar friends who I thought had forgotten about my existence.

“Surprise!” Krystal yelled out as I stared from her to the other friend behind her.

I let her sweet scent engulf me as I hugged her back tighter before pushing her off roughly, “You idiot! I’m not speaking to you! Which friend g-goes like that and doesn’t even respond once?”

She pouted her bottom lip out before squeezing my cheeks and cupping my face, “Ya mianhae Minnie. I came here as soon as I could and well, he came as soon as he heard I was coming too.”

I couldn’t stay mad at Krystal as I grinned widely before my eyes met Ch