Seungri POV

After finishing unpacking, I went straight to bed. I did not feel like saying good night to my hyungs. Well, I guess is because I am bit mad at Seunghyun hyung. Why did he not greet my mom properly? Usually, if a son mom signals a comforting hug towards her son's friends, you accept right? However, he seems uncomfortable towards my mom. I guess he doesn’t like her. Maybe it will take time for him to get used to my mom around. I don’t know. I took a deep breath before drifting off to sleep.

~Dream~

“Seunghyunie” I heard someone called my birth name. A voice who is different from my mom. I turn to see it was a woman with a smile on her face. Wow, she is one beautiful woman. Her face is not blurry. She seems young but I know she is older than me. Probably a mother. I check around my surrounding and we are in front of an old familiar two-story house. The sky is not blue, more like a clear white sky with no sun and no clouds.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Your home” she responded with a gentle tone.

My home? “It can’t be.....” I hesitated with a confused look. How is this old house is my home? 

“Then where is your home?” I am not even sure. All this time I thought Japan was my home where my biological family are. Then, I met 4 strange hyungs who I forgot because of my amnesia. Now, we are living a new house. However, I feel like that new house is not my true home, is something that Seungri want. A new life. Thus, I don’t know where is my home?

“Are you lost, my son?” She said, son. Could this woman be that lady who saved me? Also, how am I lost? Maybe I am seen I want a different life but for some damn reason, I am not satisfied with my new life. There is a piece that is missing. A piece that will lead me to understand who I am.

“Visit this house and you will understand” She gently patted my head. Ah, this patted is so familiar. For some reason, I can feel my heart warm when she touch my head with her warm hands. I did not want this dream to end. Can’t I stay a bit longer here with her?

~End dream~

I knew I would be back in reality. I knew the dream had to end at some point. However, I woke up early. It is 3 am in the morning. But I felt someone in my bed with a warm arm around my waist. Okay, I need my space. I am still not okay with touchy, touchy moments. I peek to see who is next to me. To my surprise it was Jiyong. “Hyung!” I beam with anger.

“Ah sorry, my maknae for waking you up but I am not sorry for hopping on your bed” he smirked. Yeah but I am not used to bodying contact. It is uncomfortable! Plus, do brothers sleep like this? Heck, my own sister don’t climb on my bed.

“What are you doing here!?” I try to lower my voice.

“What!? We used to do this as kids!” He pouted while resting his head on my back. “Plus, I miss your warmth” he chuckles. I can feel my face flush with embarrassment. I do remember us sleeping together not just him but with my other hyungs too. Although, Jiyong do sleep with me often as kids.

“Yeah but we are adults! We are not kids” I reminded him.

“So” he hugged me tight. Gosh, I swear I think my brother loves too much. Suddenly I recall the dream. I wonder if Jiyong knows where we were raised. Would he take me? Do I have to beg for him to take me? I really want to see that house.

“Hyung, I will let you sleep with me if you answer my question” I sneakily said. Hoping this will work. Jiyong beams with a smile on his face.

“That is easy! Sure, ask away!” He took the bait.

“Do you know where we raised? Like, where is our original home?” I ask the question hoping he will answer.

I could not see his face seen his head is still resting on my back but he did stay silent. Is it bad for me to ask? I mean can’t I know where my “home” was. After a long silent, he finally spoke “Maknae….I wish I can tell you but I can’t” I sigh. Of course, he won’t tell me. No one won’t.

“But hyung! I really want to know where I was raised” I argued.

“Don’t argue! You know we can’t take you! We are worry that you might faint again if you remember something terrible” He argued back. Why do they worry about me so much!? I am a grown man! I can take care of myself. Then I recall what Youngbae hyung told me. He said I should remember the terrible memories is part of my memories. I have to endure it.

“I have to endure those terrible memories, In order for me to find myself, to find my true home, I must remember those terrible memories” I defend myself knowing that I am right. “Plus, you should come with me if you’re that worry.”

My heart is beating for his next comeback. What is he going to say? Is he going to reject me again? I gripped tight on my pillow, nervously, patiently waiting for him to speak. But, he sat up. I turn to look at him. He has his eyes focused somewhere else. I wonder what he is thinking.

Another few minutes passed, “Hyung?” I had to check if he is awake by snapping my fingers near his face. “Ah, sorry” I broke his thoughts. “Um, fine….you win” I couldn’t hold the happiness inside my chest. I jump and hugged my brother with a big kiss on his cheek. “THANKS, HYUNG!” I notice his face turn red.

“Why are you so cute?!” He attacks me with his big hug.  I don’t care how much closeness we have. I am just happy he agree to take me to our home!

Jiyong told me that we shouldn’t tell my hyungs that he is taking me to the place we were raised as kids. He said something about how they are worry warts. I agreed. I do believe in Jiyong who will take care of me. Jiyong convinces them that it was his turn to hang out with me. They complain but gave us the okay.

Jiyong mentions that our original home is a bit far from the city. He asks if I was okay with long roads. I said I was fine with long roads. I am pretty sure I don’t get carsick. After hopping in his car, we took the long ride. I feel excited to see where I was raised. I can’t believe I am going to see my childhood that I lost.

After an hour long driving. We finally made it to the house that was in my dream. The excitement washes down by my nervousness. Crap, I feel my hands shaken a little. I am here where Lee Seunghyun was raised. Jiyong notices how nervous I am. He took my hand and hold it gently. “I am here maknae” he comforts me. I nodded at his comfort words. That is right. Jiyong is here for me.

We step out of the car. The wind blows my hair. “It is pretty windy today,” I said. The air feels well known. Like I feel safe and relaxed but then I feel a slight headache. I shook it off for it won’t ruin the moment.

 “Come” Jiyong guide me inside the house.  There is dust in the air. “Poorhouse, it looks like a ghost because nobody lives here now,” Jiyong said. He broke our hand contact to look around the house. “Wow, still the same” he recognized every detail of the house. I wouldn’t know if the house is the same. I can barely remember how the house looks like inside.

I walk around, admiring every picture on the tables. Then I spotted a picture of a woman holding a baby kid who seems to be Seunghyun hyung. I look at the picture deep. The woman is oddly familiar. Her smile, her soft looking skin, her eyes, and her black long hair. Then I remembered the woman in my dream last night. I gasp at seeing that it is the woman in my dream but what is worst is that the picture shows her name, “Choi…” this woman is Seunghyun hyung’s mom.

Suddenly so many flashes of memories coming rushing through my head. Crap! I drop the photo on the ground. Trying to hold my stance by gripping on the table.  Crap! I kept cussing. Feeling my hands shaking. Feeling my heart broken. My head is spinning. I hold my head tight to hold a grip. I panic. I can’t hold so much memory but one memory, a painful memory pop in my head.

~Normal POV~

“Seunghyun mom is proud of you!” Said the cheerful “mom” of mine.

“I knew I would win!” Little Seunghyun happily kept showing his dance award towards his mom while she was driving. She kept laughing at her adorableness son but then stop because she saw a drunk driver, driving towards them. She knows she can’t shift the car it was already too late.

“Seunghyun!”  She throws her arms around her baby boy. The baby boy closed his eye shut, panicking of what would be the aftermath. As the car flip while the drunk driver crashes into a pole, Seunghyun could barely move. Blood was rushing down in his head. “Mom….” He called his mom. His eye widens to see his unconscious mom lying with blood dripping from and forehead. “MOM!!!” he cried loudly.

“OH! You guys are okay!” said a man who came to save them. It was his own father who came to save them. Of course, little Seunghyun won’t know who he was but his father knew who he was.

“MISTER PLEASE SAVE MY MOM!” The kid plead with tears coming down his cheek. Shaking his little hand reaching out at the man. The man hold a grip on his tiny hands.

“Don’t worry let me help you first” He unbuckles the kid belt. He gently grabs him before he would fall to the floor. It was a bit tight for him to get the boy out but he manged to pull him out safely.

“Now Seunghyun, Let me help your mother” The little boy is confused of why the man knows his name but he doesn’t care. All he cares about his mom being safe.

Then the ambulance and rescuers (firefighters) came right in time. They rush to help the man to pull the woman out of the car. The boy tries to stay awake but his eyelids are weak to keep his eyes open. He fell to the ground and heard that man shout his name “Seunghyun!”

“SEUNGRI!” Jiyong loud voice brought him back to related and place his hand on his shoulder but Seungri jerks his hand away from Jiyong.” WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT THE CARETAKER WAS CHOI SEUNGHYUN HYUNG’S MOM!?” Jiyong was surprisedd in his furious eyes. He saw tears develop in his cold eyes. He doesn’t know what to say to his maknae. He knew this would happen. “HYUNG! SHE EN DIED BECAUSE OF ME!” Jiyong felt his heart stung. His throat tightens. He tries to hold back his tears.

“You remember….” It is all he can respond with brittle tone.

“Hyung…now I know why Seunghyun hyung looked at my mom and me funny…he lost his own mom….he lost his only family….is my fault she died! If she focuses on the road, we would’ve been fine…” Seungri understands it all. Why his hyungs didn’t tell him much about the caretaker. Why his oldest brother kept envying the relationship between him and his own mom. Now he understands.  He feels guilty for losing a perfect mom from Seunghyun hyung. He can’t look at Seunghyun hyung anymore. He believes is best for him to stay away from the oldest and everyone else.

“Maknae…please let me ex-“Seungri cut Jiyong off. “I need to get out of here…I can’t live with you guys anymore!” Seungri ran out of the house.

“WAIT Seungri!” Jiyong called him out while following him behind.

“Leave me alone Jiyong!” Jiyong was heartbroken. His own maknae did not call him hyung. Is he really leaving the family? He grunted. “Ugh! I knew I shouldn’t take him here” he argued to himself.

All of the sudden, Jiyong saw a car coming towards his maknae. “SEUNGRI!” Seungri turn and his eyes widen to see the car coming towards him. He couldn’t move his leg. His legs stood still with fear. He closed his eyes ready for the outcome. Jiyong pushes his legs to catch up with him.  Scared that he is about to lose another family member. He is not gonna let that happen. Then the car swiftly turn but turn at the wrong moment.

“CRASH” Seungri was pushed and hit his head on the ground. He saw his own brother took the hit for him. He wants to yell but he feels his mind shutting down. “Ji…yong….hyung” he whisper his name with his eyes shut. What is going to happen to his hyung? He hates himself now! Why did he call him just his name when he was angry at him? He cursed himself and let his memories take the best out of him. Please be safe hyung…

To be Continued 

Author: I am sorry about Jiyong accident v-v....i can't tell you if he will be fine. Anyway, Thank you for reading! Until next week!