Daesung POV

Age: 22

Setting: Kang's Resturant

Time: evening. weather: cooling.

It was my turn to be with my maknae. I can’t believe V.I. is my maknae. I was a huge fan of V.I. I even got his first album and have a poster of him in my room. I wish I realize that V.I was my little brother.

“Hyung?” I space out by looking at my little brother. He probably thinks I'm a creep by staring at him. Oh, right now he is with me having dinner. I had to close the restaurant for him and I can be alone.  He was eating but stop because of my stare. “Sorry is just I can’t believe you are V.I” I chuckle.

“Oh, you did say that you are one of my fans. Hyung you can be my number one fan!” he cheerful said. I laughed. Number one fan? I never thought about that.

“Everyone will be jealous of me, though,” I said while taking a bite on my white rice.

“Of course~ Plus you….” He stops midway of his sentence. “Nothing, never minds” he changes his mind and took a bite of his rice. I think I know what he is going to say at the end of his words. ‘Plus, you are my brother’. I know he wants to say it but probably embarrassed because I can see his cheeks turning red.  I chuckle myself.

We stood quiet for a while.  Great the awkwardness feeling again.  I did expect it because our relationship started off award. I know I mention it but I never told the story so here it goes:

~Past~

Daesung: age 10

It has been five months seen maknae join our family. It did took a while for him to get used to the environment around him. Especially our hyungs, they spoiled our maknae. He was not used to Jiyong coming in his room and sleep with him. He ask Seunghyun hyung if Jiyong have always been a hugger. I heard my hyung laugh. Well of course. He even hugged me when he comes to my bed. Then Youngbae always mothered him. He is not used to his kindness. Seunghyun hyung always messed with him but he enjoyed his tease. However, he got along with them very quickly. As for me, I try to be close to my dongsaeng but it was tough. I can hold a few conversation with him. For example if I ask him how his day was, he replied short answers “Is fine” that was it.

I was frustrated and envy my hyungs. They get to see the smiling panda while I get nothing. I am his hyung too. I guess is because I don’t know how to be a hyung. So my plan was to analyze my hyungs. I first started with Seunghyun hyung.

It was warm outside. I spotted our maknae and Seunghyun hyung outside of our backyard. We have a small pond and I guess maknae could not reach his toy in the pond. The toy was in the middle of pond. It was out of reach for little Seunghyun. Maknae took off his shoe while Seunghyun looks confuse of what he is about to do. Then he realize he was going to get the toy himself. He stop maknae for going any further, “Let hyung get it for you” He took off his shoe and went into the pond. I saw him shivered. Of course the water must be cold.  He slowly move his legs and got the toy.

“Here you go maknae” He ruffle his hair. Maknae eyes sparkle of happiness “Woah, Thanks hyung” He went back playing with his toy. So All I have to do is be a hero. I try it.

I try to find any opportunities to become a hero for maknae. But it was tough! Whenever he was about to fall by jumping off the bed it was Youngbae that caught him and scold him. Then another time was when he got a scratch on his knee, it was Jiyong that put a band aid on him. Then Seunghyun hyung saved him again by a ball that was about to be thrown at our maknae. Seunghyun hyung use his body to block the ball. Ugh my hyungs is not letting me have the opportunity to be a hero.

Day by day, I gave up on becoming a hero. So my next plan was to analyze Jiyong and Youngbae. I notice they give him everything. Like they give him their old clothes or shoes that are still good to use. They fed him ice cream or buy him snacks. When he is in trouble, it was Youngbae that scold him while Jiyong defend him. Sometimes Jiyong and Youngbae argue who is right. So I must spoiled him!

Again, it didn’t work. Why!? Because of my hyungs. Little Seunghyun was about to ask me to buy him ice cream but Jiyong hyung took that away from me. Then maknae broke the plate. I was about to scold him but Youngbae hyung beat me to it. Finally little Seunghyun wanted me, ME!!! To feed him but Seunghyun hyung grab the spoon and feed him.

I was getting mad. My hyungs is taking the glory while I am just there. Even maknae notice that I am trying my best to be his hyung. They are the reason why our relationship is awkward. Jiyong even dare ask “Try to be there for maknae, he has been asking you lately” Nah! I am trying! But you kept taking that chance. Whatever.

The next day, after I got back from the bakery to let out my frustration. I went inside my home and notice that it was only maknae in the living room watching some T.V. “Hyung!” He beam up and gave me a welcome home hug. Of course I hugged him back. Never going to let the chance go when he hugs me. He let go and went back on and lay on his stomach with his hands on his chin to watch his shows.

I look around to find our hyungs but I don’t see them. “Maknae, where is our hyungs?”

“Ah, Seunghyun hyung is with his friend, Hyunbae hyung, while Jiyong and Youngbae stay after school” he answer not taking his eyes off the T.V. So is just me and maknae.

I sat down on the sofa. I am trying to think of anything to talk about but he is so focus on the T.V. I sigh. Then I thought about ice cream since Jiyong hyung always buy him ice cream.

“Maknae do you want hyung to buy you ice cream” the word ice cream caught his attention. “Oh! I want an ice cream” he said with sparks of excitement.

“Alright let’s go”

After getting our ice cream we begin talking slowly he asked how was my day. He asks which hyung is my favorite. He even asks me a stupid question. “Hyung, do you love me too?” he asks while his strawberry ice cream.

“What kinda question is that?” I ask while my vanilla ice cream. It really was a stupid question.

“Because…you hardly there for me” he stops but he stops at the wrong moment because he bump into a teenage boy and the ice cream landed on his shirt.

“Watch where you're going kid!” He push maknae on the ground.

That moment I can feel my anger boils. “Yah!” Maknae stop me from going any further. “Hyung no don’t” he whisper.

“I am going to teach this brat to respect his elder” He pick up the ice cream and drop on maknae hair. My eyes widen. His hair was a mess by the sticky ice cream. I hear the boy laugh. I can feel maknae gripping on my wrist shakily. “See your older brother doesn’t care about this” he ruffle my hair. But I slap his hand and jerk maknae small hand to give a punch on the teenage boy. I couldn’t control myself when he said that. I en do care! You are just lucky that maknae stop me from killing him!

Maknae eyes widen at my action, “Hyung! Are you crazy!?” I didn’t care. He deserve it. I was about to give him another punch but Maknae grab my arm and we begin running.

We stop midway of the streets to catch some breaths, “Did we lost him” Maknae turn around to see if he chase us but it was clear. “Yah hyung! You would’ve got in trouble! So what he mess with my hair and ice cream! It doesn't mean you should punch the guy!” He scold me. Hold on my little brother is scolding me after I saved him. I cared about him! If something happen to him I would go mad. Plus is always the big brother job to take care of their little ones.

I pull maknae arm and gave him a big hug. I didn’t care that his hair is sticky from the ice cream. “It was my duty to protect you maknae, plus the guy annoyed me when he said I didn’t care but you know I do, I love you maknae” I can feel maknae body shaky and my shoulder wet.

“I was scared hyung! I thought you hated me!” he confessed.

“No hyung doesn’t hate you! I really love you” I cup his cheek between my hands and wipe his tears away with my thumbs. “Just remember that I will be there for you” He nodded and wipe the rest of his tears. We begin to head home

Of course our hyungs ask us what happen. I told them the truth and they were furious at us. It was Seunghyun who scold us. Jiyong said that next time find out the name and tell them that way they can track the person who try to mess with us and beat that person up.

That day I told maknae how scary our hyungs were when they beat up people. I told him that I was bullied because of my big nose. Maknae was scared of our hyungs. But that day did made our awkwardness gone.

~present~

We finish with our plates. It was quiet but what broke it is by him chuckling. “Why are you laughing?” I ask curiously.

“Sorry a memory came to me, we had the awkwardness before didn’t we” My eyes widen. He remembers our awkwardness. For the first time, I didn’t mind our awkwardness. Our awkwardness is part of our relationship. Our special relationship! “Yes!” I shouted. Although my shout cause maknae to jump a little.

“It was awkward before until-“

“Until you saved me from that bullies …twice…you even kept my secret that I’ve been bullied from our hyungs. It relieves me, though, I did saw myself getting bullied as a kid and wonder where were you guys but then today my memory show it was I that prevent you from telling our hyungs” my smiled grew. I can’t believe he is remembering that far. He did not even faint.

I patted his back, “I am glad your memory is coming bits by bits….now that you remember, do you want to tell our hyungs about you being bullied when we were kids?” I ask.

He took a moment but he replies right away “No is from the past they don’t have to know and plus I feel like is special for some odd reason” I could hold my urges to kiss him on the cheek.

“Hyung don't kiss me” he wipes it away “I want-“

“Only girls to kiss you, I know. I know. You always say that” I cut him by finishing what he usually say if one of us kiss him.  He smiled and suddenly he gave me a hug. A hug! A hug that I miss so much! I was surprised by his action but I don’t care. I would not let this hug be a waste so I hug him back.

“I feel like my memories are coming closer and closer and it is good. Youngbae hyung said he will help me get over my horrible memories” he stutter.

“Not just Youngbae hyung but all of us will help you to overcome this! I am just happy you are back home with us.”

“Yeah, hehee home…” we broke the hug and begin talking about what we been through in our lives. I am glad to have this chance with my maknae. I am happy he remember our awkward relationship. I feel like it is close to him to have all of his memory but one. The memory I hope he doesn't remember is our mother death. If he does remember we will be there.

-to continue later-