JIYONG'S POV

I looked around and let out a deep sigh.

"Look at how stupid I am." I muttered to myself. After drinking with the members last night, I don't know what went to my head but the next thing I know, I am already on a plane going to Japan. This is not even a legit trip since I didn't inform the company that I will be leaving. They are probably going nuts. 

I checked in at the hotel and decided to stroll around wearing my disguise. I am really stupid to think that I can see her by wandering in the streets like this.

Shibuya is full of lovers since it is Christmas eve. Everyone have smiles plastered on their faces while walking hand in hand with their loved ones. And here I am, walking alone. The winter wind is getting colder and colder. I really wish to see her and be with her. 

This year has been a good year for me. Bigbang made a comeback and I finally have all my schedules packed because of the promotions and our world tour. 

When I thought that my busy schedule could stop myself from thinking about her, I was wrong.

I think of her. Our unborn child. All the time.

In the dressing room. While in the rehearsal. Even when performing. I can still feel the pain. 

5 years is not enough to heal my broken heart. My broken life. 

I am a man living in pain and sadness. How I wish she could come back and make me whole again.

I spotted an coffee shop at the corner of the street. I do not like drinking coffee that much but I don't know why it seems like something is drawing me near the place.

The chimes sounded as soon as I open the door. There are not much people in the coffee shop and I spotted an empty table at the back part. I placed my order and decided to sip my coffee while people watching.

I opened my phone and got greeted by messages from the Bigbang members, sajangnim, my parents and manager. All are wondering where I am at this moment.

I decided to call Youngbae. He will relay my message to all for sure.

"Oh Bae." I said the moment he answered the phone.

"Yah! Where the hell are you?" He shouted on the other line.

"Where could I be?" I said chuckling.

"Don't tell me.."

"Tell you what?"

"Are you in Japan?"

I laughed.

"Yah! Kwon Jiyong! You are crazy! Crazy bastard!" I heard him curse.

"Tell everyone I am safe. I will be back before our flight to China."

There was a long pause.

"Bae?"

"Arasso..arasso. Take all the time that you need to unwind there. Merry Christmas bro." 

"Aigoo, you are so cheesy!" I chuckled. Suddenly I heard the chimes. I turned my gaze at the door.

"Yah! We've been friends for so long. I am just concerned." I heard him say but all of my attention is diverted to the person that entered the coffee shop.

"Yah! Jiyong. Are you there?"

"Kwon Jiyong!"

"Bae.."

"What happened? Is there something wrong?"

"I am not dreaming right? We are talking right?" I asked anxiously.

"What happened? What are you talking about?" 

"Bae.. I am seeing Hara.." I said softly.

"WHAT????" He shouted on the other line.

"I will talk to you later." I said and turned off the phone.

I just stared at her. Unable to do anything. She probably didn't recognize me since I am wearing disguise.

She sat at the table across my table. I can see her more.

She is still as lovely as ever. But she looked sad.

She is sipping her coffee. Oblivious of the fact that I am seated right in front of her.

I took deep breathe. Trying to calm my nerves.

I am so happy I could die. It all seems like a dream to me. That fate brought as back together like this.

I stood up, readying to meet her.

Suddenly, someone tapped her from behind. She looked at the person with warmth.

He sat in front of her and they exchange greetings.

I was there.

Standing.

In total silence.

Afraid of what this could mean.

Did she move on already?

Am I already late?

Am I already forgotten.

Before I could even move my feet. I saw her standing. Leaving with him.

I stood there.

Alone.

When I thought I was already broken, I soon realized that even the tiny shards can still break.