" you booked a room?" Sehun ask her, when he drives into a parking lot of a hotel.
" hmm." Suzy's not saying anything else, and start preparing her bag, wearing her snapback and sunglasses again.
Suzy was ready to get out from the car as soon as Sehun step on the brake and the car stop, when Sehun turning off the engine and left out a heavy sigh, that means he has something to say, a lot of things.

" i forgive you, don't worry, i trust you." he talk while give her a quick glance, and Suzy respond it with a bitter smile, she's taking off her sunglasses.
" i always, thought that i love you more than you love me. I trust you more than you trust me, right?"
Suzy give him a deep stare, she thought that this is only her imagination, but the reality hit her hard, Sehun still doubting her, he doesn't believe her, he just won't admit it.

***

" i don't know." he finally give her an answer.
That's not the truth, but he knows that wasn't a complete lie.
He doesn't want to owned by anyone, he want to have control of his heart,of what he wants to feel. He doesn't want to have anyone as a center of his universe anymore.
He spare his heart for noone, but him. Suzy own his heart completely once, and it turns out into a great mess. He hated her for years.

" what do you mean?" he lift his face to Suzy who stare at him with her big eyes and demanding an explanation.
" i don't want to owned by anyone, i want my heart is mine. i hope you feel the same too, but i know you're not and.."
he takes a deep breath, and give a quick glance to Suzy who looks dumbfounded.

" i know, it's unfair for you, and i'm sorry." He finished her talk and now staring at Suzy, he's waiting nervously for a response. He's ready if Suzy mad at him and he's ready if Suzy want to hit him.
He can't read what's on her mind. whether She feels dissapointed, happy, sad, relieved. he just doesn't know.
She keep shut, not even one word come out from her.
" say something." he talks while hold her hand.
" what do you want me to say, after you said things like that?" Suzy talks while give him a smile and holding his hand back.
Sehun doesn't found any offensive tone from her talk, she's just sounds tired.
" thank you for being honest, i guess?" Suzy continuing her talk, and finally he found it, her sarcastic tone of talk. nothing much, but he knows Suzy is annoyed.

She's opening the car door and getting out from his car. He's following her and watching her back entered the hotel's lobby.
He wants to stop her for going away, but he doesn't. It's her who's turning her back again and walking to his direction.
She's standing in front of him while looking down, her hand is on his arms while keep shut. not even a word came out from her.

***

Suzy can't stop crying at the hotel. She's mad and mostly sad about every single things that he said regarding his feelings.
She doesn't want him to feel that way, but she doesn't want to be treated this way. It's complicated.
she doesn't really know what she wants anymore. 

Sehun coming to the hotel at 5 am in the morning, he has 15 hours to have a date with Suzy. He realized last night there was some tension between them.
Suzy is not happy so does he. He realized how selfish he is for talking like that to her. But that's the truth, that's what he feels.

He doesn't know her room, so he wait on the car and send her a short message. He waits for 10 minutes before decide to call her.
Not answering.
He's getting out from his car and put on his hoodie to covering his blonde hair.
He ask for Suzy on receptionist desk and they said she's gone an hour ago. In the dawn.
" she left?" He can't believe what he heard.
" yes, she even left a message to me, if someone will probably looking for her. she said not to worry." The male receptionist talk to him with english.
and he can understand a little part of it.
Suzy is doing it again, makes him feel anxious. It's impossible if she's okay after what happened last night.
But he doesn't expecting her to left.

" It's ridiculous. " Sehun opening his car door, and start calling Suzy's number.
She's picking up her phone, and Sehun feels a slight relieve.
" where are you?"
He can hear a noisy background on the phone. Seems like Suzy is somehere outside.
" some place, i'm bored so, i came out to play." Sehun know exactly that Suzy just hate to see his face right now.
" you have an appointment with me." He talks with deep voice and make intimidating his girlfriend is his goal right now.
" yeah, but that was before 'i don't want to owned by you, i want to be independent' stuffs you said to me." she talks while chuckling, and Sehun feels a little bit wronged and annoyed.

" and why you act like you're ok last night? you can curse in front of my face if you don't like stuffs that i said." he talks quickly, and well, it's not the first time he involved on an argument with Suzy.
Since the first time, he start to interact with Suzy again a year ago. This kind of bickering is always happened. Even after they decide to dating each other, whether it's fake or real. The fight is always there.

" you're a jerk." He can hear Suzy's deep voice, and it makes him feel sort of emotions.
" that's it. you can call me anything in front of my face, not over the phone. where are you right now?"
He's trying really hard to talk with a calm voice. He's worried about Suzy. and now he's angry too.

Even i feel sad while writing this...

thank you for your comments

anyway, i'm a hardcore bts's fans, an army. and they're not updating on SNS or fancafe for 6 days straight.

i feel nervous about what's happening to them.

:((

xoxo

_karla