Eunah had to hold herself together. She tried to control the oncoming wail of broken heart. This wasn't a time for her to faltered. She needed to be strong. Stronger than she was six years ago. She looked away from the sight to at least gather herself back together.

Mir was broken again. His soft brown orbs were empty again like blackholes that always pulled Eunah into its nothingness. Feeling like she could finally speak without letting her tears fall; Eunah inhaled deeply and turned to look at her broken brother. She tried her best to smile. "Byunghee oppa brought you the cookies you like. Do you want to eat it now?" Eunah asked with fake cheerful tone.

Mir didn't answer. Eunah knew Mir won't answer. Like before. Just like when Jiyeon left Mir destroyed for the first time ever. Mir was back to that place. In the darkness. This time... Might be forever.

The door to Mir's hospital room slammed opened with loud sound, Making Eunah jumped in her seat. Mir didn't look up and kept staring on Jiyeon's picture in the pendant but Eunah did. Eunah looked up and frowned as GO stormed into the room, straight towards Mir and almost jumped onto the bed next to Mir, hugging Mir from behind as tight as he could.

Before, he used to do this. When he was stressed out, he would find someone, anyone and usually, it was Mir who was always available for him to cling on, to embrace until he was feeling okay again. So he came here. Pulling Mir into his strong hold like before. Until all the heavy problems could fell lighter even just a tad. And he hoped that eventhough Mir had lost his memories, he hoped Mir won't pull away and just let him hold the maknae until he was feeling better again. Like before...

Eunah watched in surprise when Mir actually reacted to GO's distressed hug. She thought Mir wouldn't have move and would have stayed still like a lifeless statue as he had been since he was back in the hospital. Lifeless. Mir turned in GO's iron grip and looked into GO's eyes. Their eyes stayed locked up for a moment, a long moment yet short, until Mir pushed GO away from him. He scooted away and stood up from the bed, walking silently out of the room. Leaving behind questions of what was actually in his mind...

"Cheolyong? Cheolyongie?" Eunah called out and was about to follow his baby brother but was stopped dead and jolted when he heard loud 'thud' from behind. GO had slammed his fist down on the bed, gritting his teeth, clenching his eyes shut.

"Why can't he just be like before?" GO asked himself in a small strained voice.

"How was he like, before?" Seungho suddenly was already standing at the doorway, eyes tired and red as he looked back to GO who looked up with same tired eyes. Eunah just watched this interaction quietly from the side. "How was he like before all this?" Seungho repeated his question when he got no answer. "We don't know how he was like. For all we know, he is just a stranger. For all we know; this Cheolyong, the one with empty eyes, is the real Cheolyong. For all we know, he never changed, always the same. Always so empty. So distant. For-"

"The hell are you babbling about? He's Cheolyong. My maknae. Our maknae." GO cut Seungho off, looking weirdly at Seungho who finally stopped his nonsensical rambling. The way GO was looking at Seungho was making the leader felt like GO was about to call him stupid though GO didn't. "We might not know one part of his life. The part that he hide from us. We, too, have some part of our life that we don't tell other people. Cheolyong is just like that. He is still the same Cheolyong. Our dongsaeng."

Seungho stood still, blinking with dumbfounded look on his face. He had been thinking so much about how Mir had been someone he never knew. How those years spent with Mir was actually years spent with fake Mir. With a stranger. And he didn't know how to treat this stranger anymore. Maybe GO was right. He wanted GO to be right. Mir just didn't tell them about some part of his life. But that didn't mean Mir hide all part of him. Mir was still Mir. Mir was still their same crazy yet lovable maknae. But there was still unsettling feeling nagging him at the back of his mind, tugging the strings on his heart. "Cheolyong is still Cheolyong." He repeated in order to get that feeling away, but it didn't work and all he could do was frowning in displeased and gritted his teeth. Those feelings just won't go away. Mir wasn't the same Mir he knew. He just didn't know Mir... Not anymore...

"Of course." GO added incredulously as if what had been bothering Seungho to no end seemed like mere rubbish. Something not worth to ponder about whereas to Seungho, it actually meant so much.

A soft chuckle greeted them all, lightening the atmosphere a bit, well, as light as it could be at this moment. "Solve the problem?" Sanghyun talked from behind Seungho, smiling a small smile. That's was what he thought but Seungho's unsolved feeling remained as that. Remained disturbing.

"So, the conclusion is Cheolyong is still Cheolyong. And do you think the Cheolyong we know would accept the fact that you are blaming yourself for what had happened? Would he?" Joon added while sidestepping both Sanghyun and Seungho into the room. Seungho released a breath and nodded once, just so the dongsaengs would stop trying to convince him of the same thing because, seriously, it didn't even work. Obviously he wouldn't agree with Joon's remark because he just didn't know Mir anymore. So how would he be sure what would Mir thought about this.

Eunah who was watching the scene unfolded silently, finally cracked a small smile. She felt unexplained sense of proud as she watched over the four men helping each other out of the messy unnecessary feelings. Except that she was wrong. Seungho still was bearing those feelings on his back, this time, in hiding.

Letting the four men with their private moments, Eunah left the room quietly in search for her brother. A place she was sure Mir would go to. The rooftop.

@@@@@

Jr couldn't forget the look on Mir's face. Those eyes even haunted him in his sleep. He couldn't help the wanton to meet Mir again. Though he didn't know what would he say to the older once he met him. He just wanted to.

Sighing, Jr looked around the empty dorm. Half of the boys had schedule while the others either went out for some fun or went back to see their family. Him? He wasn't in the mood to do anything despite his two free days without schedule. He picked his phone when the device bling, signing new text. It was from JB. Telling him how to... Behave? What the hell? Was he a kid or something? Another text and it was from Jackson. The text made him frown slightly. What was this mean?

Jackson :

She... Jiyeon... I overheard you talk about her with GO sunbaenim and Eunah-shi. She died in fire?

Jr bit his lips. He was just about to get distracted from this issue, thanks to the leader who was treating him like a child. But now, Jackson had brought the memory back to him. Jr rubbed his eyes harshly when he felt how the warm tears threatening to fall.

He knew though. He knew Jackson didn't want to ask straight to his face, instead, he was using texts for his sake. He was grateful for that. Jackson had done so much for him. Inhaling deeply, he typed in his short reply.

Jinyoung :

Yea.

Jackson :

You know I will always be there for you.

Jinyoung :

I know.

Of course Jr knew. But he also knew by showing his dark world to Jackson, he was hurting his friend. Jackson never say anything and would always stay by his side patiently whenever he had his moments of breakdown. 

But that world of him was too dark. Was too full of pain. Full of hurt. Full of despair. And he saw how it was affecting Jackson. It was unavoidable. The pain was. If only he could heal...