J... Was it Jiyeon? Was it that girl who saw nothing but herself, who saw only her pain yet closed her eyes from seeing Mir's pain. Was it that girl that had broke her little brother's heart into pieces and left? Left Eunah to attend on Mir's bleeding wound. Left because she wanted to stop hurting.

But... Why would she do that? She was the one breaking the bond between her and Mir. She was the one turning her back first on Mir. She was the one throwing out Mir from her life. Why would she do this then? Torturing Mir this way when she knew she had tortured Mir enough that time when she broke up their love. Why?

Eunah shook her head. No... She shouldn't jump into conclusion so fast. She didn't even know where Jiyeon is right now. 

Seven years ago was the last time she met that girl. As well as Mir. jiyeon had moved away from Jansung without telling a soul. She left quietly yet the effect was so strong on Mir. Mir had cried. A lot. Mir had paced around the field that had held so much memories between the lovers, the rooftop where their feelings became clearer for the first time ever, every evening for six months in a hope Jiyeon would come back there for him to at least see her for the last time but the hope vanished by time. Jiyeon never came back.

With so much hardship, Eunah had fixed Mir up but Mir wasn't able to love any other girl like he had loved Jiyeon. And though Eunah was still bitter on Jiyeon. She knew Jiyeon had the same weight of love for Mir in her. Jiyeon couldn't be the one doing this. Not to Mir. Those two had something special between them that never really let the bond between them completely broken because until this day, Eunah knew Mir still loved her. Even after the break up. Even with the distance. And most probably even after any of them died.

But, then who... Who is this J?

However, this question had to wait. Now that she knew where Mir was, she had to get there. To Mir.

@@@@@

The sound of people conversing, crying, laughing around the hallway of the small hospital located at a quite secluded village didn't even once managed to reach Eunah's hard beating heart. Mir was here. Mir must be here. Please be here.

On the way to the hospital that was mentioned on the text, Eunah had informed Seungho who sounded really glad that even Eunah felt a bit relieved even before she could confirm with her own eyes. And now she was here. Mir must be here.

She powerwalked, trying her best not to break into a dash as her eyes darted through the open room of the ward. There! She saw a silhouette of someone lying on the farthest bed in the room through the light blue curtain. Must be him. Please be him.

With heart pounding in rythm with her breath, she approached the bed. Without even pausing to catch her breath, she pulled back the curtain and saw her vision became blurry. Her eyes warmed. It was Mir. It was really Mir. It was her little brother. Lying on the bed, eyes closed, looking peaceful. Still breathing. Still alive. It was Mir...

"Ahdeul..." She choked a sob and waited nervously when Mir's brown eyes revealed from behind the close lids. "Cheolyongie..." She called and felt emotion overwhelming her when Mir pulled up to sit easily on the bed. 

Sure, Mir looked pale. White bandage with hints of blood covered almost all part of his body but he moved. He was awake. He could move. He looked worse but he looked better that Eunah was confused with herself. Yet she didn't let that get to her and threw herself into his unready arm. Clinging with all she got. Chanting Mir's name over and over again.

Mir was here now. In her arms. Mir was here.

@@@@@

Something. He felt something. He felt like he forgot something. Well... He did forget everything but, this. This was something else. Something at the tip of his tongue, just that he couldn't figure it out. That nagging feeling that disturbed all the peace he had having with his thought. This girl who was now crying in arm arose that feeling in his chest. Something.

"Who are you?" He needed to get this off of his chest. So he did. In a form of question. "Do I know you?" With each question he uttered, he felt the girl stiffened against him.

Slowly... Ever so slowly, the girl pulled away from him looking at him straight in the eyes as if she was making sure she had heard it right. "Cheolyong-ah... You don't remember me?"

He shook his head and was taken aback when the girl pulled him in again. This time tighter. With much desperation. With so much more feelings. Again... Who is she...?

@@@@@

Mir scanned on the faces stood around him. Some were nervous. Some looked confused. Some looked angry yet their eyes all had a small similarity. Their eyes all had that hint of sadness either they tried to hide it or not. 

These people... These people were in his life. Were important people in his life. Yet... Why? Wasn't he just a trash? A trash that needed to get rid off. If he had so much people that loved him, why did he have such a strong will to die? Why? Maybe they knew but for some unknown reason, he couldn't bring himself to ask. Something held him back. Something he could only name as fear. Fear of his question might hurt them.

But as his supposedly sister was trying to explain his condition to everyone and kept showing pictures of supposedly his family and pulling all these strangers in front of him, asking him if he recognized any of them, Mir could only shook his head and felt a pang each time those faces contorted into somewhat lost. Into pain... Maybe they felt they had lost him? Maybe they really did. But though he felt pang. He felt pain. Yet he felt something more. He felt incomplete. 

She wasn't here. The girl in her dream, the only person he could recognize was not here. Was that girl even exist in his life? Or was that girl only a fragment of imagination created by his broken mind?

"How about him, Cheolyong-ah? Can you remember him?" Mir's eyes flickered upward and met with a pair of sharp eyes. Mir shivered slightly. He saw hope but he also saw hatred in those orbs. But, it wasn't a hatred for him. It was like the stranger hated himself. Unconsciously, Mir reached out his hand and hold the stranger's hand. He didn't remember but, he knew he hated this sight. He knew that he needed to do something to erase that hatred. So he reached out.

All pair of eyes were looking in Mir's direction in shock. The silence veiled down as the others watched in nervousness. All had the same thought pushing at the back of their head. Had Mir remembered Seungho?

Overcoming his shock, Seungho curled his fingers back around Mir's hand. His chest fluttered in hope. Had Mir remembered? Had Mir really remembered him?

Mir shook his head slightly and the others had their eyes away from the boy. Sad. Frustrated. Disappointed. All kind of emotion that somehow blended together.

He did feel guilty for giving false hope to them but his body moved by itself before his brain could decide. It was on reflex. The stranger then sat at the edge of Mir's bed. A small sad smile ghosted on the stranger's red lips.

"I'm Seungho." Mir could see how forced the smile on the stranger's lips, making him, himself unable to smile. "Here. Why don't you look at this." Seungho gave his phone to Mir. There was a video there. A video of MBLAQ as Eunah had told him. Mir frowned watching himself performing in the video and he felt the back of his head throbbing in pain. Mir pushed back that phone into Seungho hand, unable to handle the pain and watched as Seungho's small smile disappeared.

This stranger, ani... Seungho... His name is Seungho. This Seungho looked like he had more on him. Maybe because he was the leader? Mir somehow felt weird seeing how Seungho's back bent a bit and did his shoulders always looked so small and slumped? Why did Mir felt like it was such a strange sight? Seungho looked... Weak... Or was this because of him? Because it was really strange. Strange to see this man looked weak. He imagined this leader, as he claimed, to be strong. To be formidable... Or maybe that was just Mir's imagination. He just not sure. He didn't remember.

Eunah had told him almost all that he needed to know about his life. So he could only imagine what was Seungho's place in his life. As well as GO, Joon and Sanghyun. Maybe they all look like this because of him. So sad. So lost. So... Desolated. 

It was still incomplete though. In his thoughts of these strangers, he couldn't help but got distracted by an image of a beautiful girl in the back of his mind.

"Where is she?" Mir asked out of blue. He couldn't take it off his mind. That beautiful smile. The only recognizable people in his life. The only memories he could cling on other than his will to die.

"Who?" Eunah asked softly.

"Jiyeon."

So she did exist. She wasn't a mere twisted imagination if not for Eunah's loud gasp that had proved otherwise. "Did you remember her?"

"I dream of her." Mir answered honestly.

Eunah nodded slowly as her eyes turned sad before she took out a silver necklace and put it in Mir's hand. "She was your girlfriend."

Mir looked at the necklace and opened the pendant. "...was?"

"She broke up with you six years ago and you guys haven't seen each other since." Eunah continued.

Mir looked up to Eunah and blinked before he looked around. The others seemed to be listening attentively. They seemed as clueless as Mir was right at this moment. "Then... Who is he?" Mir pointed towards another picture in the pendant. Of a boy. Yet the answer he got was only a shrug. And if he was being honest, he felt jealousy rising up in his blood. But he tried to ignore it.

"Hey, wait." GO who had been quite sat himself next to Mir on the bed as he looked over the picture. "Isn't he Jr from Got7?"

Seungho seemed to recognize that name as he leaned closer before nodding in agreement. "I think you're right." And they shared a confused look. Why would Jr's picture there with Jiyeon's picture in the pendant?

oh my... i think i stumbled upon one of my readers/commenters of fanfic 'it hurts' when I was browsing my twitter

I think it's the same person but maybe different. Their username is same tho. And both in twitter and on aff like GO. Coincidence? Same person? Oh man... now I'm really curious... =3= and I really shouldn't (=.=")