The drive home was scarily silent to both Ji Hyo and Jong Kook. She didn’t offer but he followed her to her apartment anyway. They had been together for 2 years and he already made her home his. They couldn’t date publicly so most of the time they dated inside her house or his house but mainly hers.

 He knew where she put her coffee cup, what rack she put her favorite clothes, or where she put her fan letters. He always felt warm in her apartment but tonight, that very same apartment felt too cold. May be both of their hearts were so cold right now. The apartment was awfully quiet that they could hear the cracking noise spreading through their hearts. She was right in front of him, if he spread his arm, he probably could reach her but she seemed too far, too cold, too distant. He didn’t know where he should start to explain and she didn’t know where she should start to ask.

 They were quiet, sitting next to each other on the couch. Their physical distant was just few inches apart but their souls seemed to be a thousand mile away. They were asking themselves when they started having too many secrets. They thought they knew each other well but it didn’t seem like the case anymore. A few days ago, she was the only one with secret but now he seemed to have more secret than her. They thought there was no more distance between them but the distance seemed to be further than ever before. They started doubting the confidence that they had about their partner. She was hurt and he was in pain.

• Are you going to ask me about Soo Jin? – Jong Kook broke the suffocated silence. If he held his words any longer, we wouldn’t be able to breathe.
• I don’t know where to start questioning any more. – Ji Hyo weakly answered.
• She was my fiancée. 5 years ago. – Jong Kook slowly said. – It was before I met you. Her family was good friend with mine. We knew each other through blind date. We went out for 2 years and our parents asked us to get married. We agreed and got engage but she suddenly left me for America right after our engagement because of a job offered that she really wanted. She didn’t even discuss about that with me and not even say goodbye to me before she left. I considered my relationship with her done the day she left Korea.
• But she doesn’t seem to consider her engagement with you done. She acted like you two are still engaged. – said Ji Hyo
• It doesn’t matter what she considered, to me I and her was done.
• Then why didn’t you tell that in front of everybody earlier? Why did you keep quiet when she said she was your fiancée? – Asked Ji Hyo in frustration.
• It wasn’t time and place for explaining about the story of 5 years ago. You had a fiancé before too. I understood your situation why can’t you understand mine? – Jong Kook let out of his frustration
• Because my fiancé was dead 15 years ago and your fiancé is still well and alive. – JI Hyo yelled
• It doesn’t matter of alive or dead the problem is you still have him in your heart but I don’t have her in my heart any more. – Jong Kook screamed and it was the first time he raised his voice that loud at her. He immediately regretted it, he looked at Ji Hyo, planned to apologize but her face was emotionless.

She wasn’t mad at him because she knew he was right. Somewhere in her heart there always was a place for her first love – Lee Dong Wook. It was the reason she felt attached to Kim Dong Jun. It was the reason she chose Star Empire. That was why she couldn’t answer Jong Kook when he asked if Dong Jun was the reason she chose Star Empire. Jong Kook wasn’t wrong. She knew that. She was the wrong one, the one that selfishly kept her ex-fiancé in her heart for 15 years, the one that blindly ran to the boy that had her ex-fiancé heart without any plan of what she was going to do with her current boyfriend. Subconsciously, she already knew Jong Kook might get hurt if he found out the truth about Dong Jun’s heart but she disregarded that. Yes, she was the wrong one. She realized that and it hurt her. Her tears started rolling down. Jong Wook was sheepish thinking Ji Hyo cried because of his yelling.

• Ji Hyo ah, oppa sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you. – Jong Kook knelt down in front of Ji Hyo, holding her hand and begged for forgiveness.
• It wasn’t your fault oppa. You were right. – Ji Hyo sobbed.
• What you mean? – Jong Kook looked up to Ji Hyo and asked
• You were right that I still have Dong Wook in my heart and you were also right about me choosing Star Empire because of Dong Jun. – Ji Hyo said in tears. She knew the moment she spoke out the secret in her heart, there would be tempest in their relationship. But she knew it’s only fair to Jong Kook that she told him the truth. There were too much secret in their relationship already. It might be the time for her to really come clean about everything and she would leave Jong Kook decide the outcome for their relationship. She thought it might be the sigh from above that his ex-fiancé appeared the same day she was confirmed the man carrying her first love’s heart. Thing happened for reason – she supposed
• What do you mean that you chose Star Empire because of Dong Jun. Do you have feeling for him?
• It’s not that I have feeling for him – She shook her head. – But he is carrying Dong Wook’s heart.
• What do you mean? – Jong Kook got frustrated again.
• Here – Ji Hyo said while handing the heart transplant document to Jong Kook. He looked at her full of question while receiving the document. But all his questions got answered the moment he read the names Lee Dong Wook and Kim Dong Jun.
• This is that Kim Dong Jun? – Jong Kook asked but he desperately hoped that her answer was no but she nodded. His heart was shattered at that moment. He could understand that she still had a place for Lee Dong Wook in her heart. He didn’t want to get jealous with the past because Dong Wook was already passed away. Alive people should not be jealous with the dead. That was the logic but the situation was different now when the heart of the dead was beating inside someone else’s chest and that someone had a crush on his girlfriend.

He remembered Ji Hyo said how much she loved Dong Wook’s heartbeat and his promise to donate his heart when he passed away so it would find its way to Ji Hyo. Jong Kook got more upset. The pain in his heart almost got to the unbearable point.

 – Was it why you cried that night? Was it why it why you stood still in his arms that night? You recognized it was him that night, don’t you? – Jong Kook lost himself and yelled at Ji Hyo again. She once again kept quiet and nodded her head but this time her tears rolled down more and she was cracked to loud moan. At that moment, she knew she hurt the man loved her most.

• Why are you crying Ji Hyo. It is me who is supposed to cry. How can you do this do me Ji Hyo. It has been 15 years for God shake. Why couldn’t you just forget it? Why do you have to find the man who carries your ex heart. It just the heart. It means nothing. You know that right? Kim Dong Jun is not the man you supposed to marry 15 years ago. He is just a kid that is 9 years younger than you. What do you plan to do about him? What do you plan to do about us Ji Hyo? Tell me if I did any wrong? Did I not give you enough love and care that you have to go look for the one carry your ex heart? Tell me Ji Hyo. Tell me please – Jong Kook kept screaming and shaking the quiet Ji Hyo. Tears came from his eyes were not any less than the tears rolling from her eyes. Her tears, her silence push his frustration even further.
• I’m sorry oppa. I knew I was wrong. I don’t know why I even did that. You are a great man oppa. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was me who was wrong. It was me who wasn’t rational. I was wrong oppa. – Ji Hyo busted in tears.
• Ji Hyo ah, you love oppa right? Then don’t go to Star Empire Ji Hyo ah. If you choose different agency and cut your contact with Dong Jun then I will pretend like nothing ever happen. We will be as happy as we were before ok? Let’s do that ok? – Jong Kook held Ji Hyo’s hand tightly. He tried to convince her even though he already predicted the sad outcome. He knew there was waiver in Ji Hyo’s heart. He knew that she wouldn’t come clean about Dong Jun if she wasn’t ready to loose him. He was afraid she leaving him and he was afraid that he wouldn’t be brave enough to held her back if she chose to walk away. He pushed his pride away to keep her by his side. He knew it was pathetic but he couldn’t bear the thought of losing her
• Oppa, I love you. I do but my mind is really a mess right now oppa. I don’t know what to do any more. And it won’t be easy to pretend like nothing ever happed oppa. Words were said and damage was done. It was not something that you can just delete from your memory oppa. – Said Ji Hyo with the could-not-be-more-devastated voice.
• Then what you wat to do about us Ji Hyo? What do you want to do? – Jong Kook yelled in tears.

The tears of that man really broke Ji Hyo heart. The man in front her who had always been strong, always been brave now was weakly crying in front of her. She broke that man and that thought hurt her. The man had been loving her faithfully for the last 5 years was now shattered because of her. She wanted to hug that man so tight that all his sadness would go away but she didn’t have the courage to do that. He looked too delicate at that moment that she was afraid if she came any closer, he would be broken to pieces. He cried and she cried even more. Two people that loved each other so much now couldn’t comfort each other’s pain. The cut was too deep in their heart.

• May be we need time to rethink about our relationship oppa – Ji Hyo spoke up after half hour of crying and sobbing.
• What do you mean we need time? Are you breaking up with me? – asked Jong Kook with a broken voice
• I think we are both hurt right now oppa. We need time to think about what we wanna do or at least I need time to figure out what I wanna do. I hurt you too much in one day and I hate myself for that. You deserve some time to rethink about our relationship about what you wanna do about me too. – said Ji Hyo with her hand lightly wiping Jong Kook’s tears.
• I don’t need time Ji Hyo ah, I know I want to be with you – Jong Kook held Ji Hyo’s hand tightly.
• I’m hurting you very much, aren’t I, oppa? Why do you still want to be with me oppa? – Ji Hyo cried miserably.
• Because I love you Ji Hyo. It doesn’t matter how much you hurt me. I am strong. I can take it all Ji Hyo ah. Just don’t leave me. Stay with me Ji Hyo ah. – Jong Kook pulled Ji Hyo to his arms tightly. He afraid that if he let her go she would leave him forever.
• I’m not deserved your love oppa. Please don’t be too good to me.
• Of course you deserve my love Ji Hyo. You love me too right? You love oppa really much right? – Jong Kook begged with hope. He hoped she said yes that she loved him very much then he would really cut the part of today memory out of his brain and wash it clean. But she didn’t.
• Oppa, you will have your Asian tour for 2 weeks starting tomorrow right? Let’s take those 2 weeks to think and we will decide what we want to do after that ok?
• Two weeks are too long. I won’t be able to focus on the tour if I kept wondering about our relationship Ji Hyo ah.
• Oppa, rushing won’t do any good. Even we say we are good today, your mind won’t stop wondering about our relationship anyway. Please use those two weeks to live for yourself. Fill your passion with music; get your mind out of the mess that we are in right now. Then when our minds are clear. We will make appropriate decision. Can we? – Ji Hyo tried to convince as she knew they needed a space. She knew Jong Kook wanted to be with her and she wanted to be with him as badly. But their minds were both in muddle. Jong Kook was too emotional to make a clear decision. She didn’t want to selfishly take advantage of Jong Kook emotional stage for her advance. He deserved a chance to rethink about their relationship too. Whether their relationship was going to work out or not after those 2 weeks. She was willing to accept the outcome because deep in her heart she knew that she was wrong.
• Will you promise me to wait for me for 2 weeks before making any decision by yourself? – Asked Jong Kook as he understood that he wouldn’t be able to convince Ji Hyo to change her mind any more. She was right; he did need time to think clearly about what he should do next. His mind was too blurry then with all the tears and emotion to think precisely.
• N-ne I promise oppa. – Said Ji Hyo. Then they sit there, on the living room. Ji Hyo was on the couch and Jong Kook was on the floor. They sat next to each other, so close but they couldn’t touch each other. They stayed still, with their thoughts wandering around. They were both scared, scared of an unknown future. They sat there, not sleeping, not talking, not crying, not sobbing, just sit there, staring at an unknown space, until the sun rose …