I was happy, excited and... well basically that. I felt numb and really dumb too. The moment my aunt confirmed that she was really working with Bangtansonyeondan I think I cried a little.  It was true, she had been having difficult times, she was living in difficulty and sometimes, she didn' get to eat decently. But I was just happy she was living whatever she wanted... afterall she had sacrificed the best years to get here.

I have always been a serious girl, very focus on school and on doing what what was expected of me. We were both raised to be like that afterall, obedient and treined to be sticked to a plan. A live plan that was never ours, but theirs. Our parents were always supportive, always caring and loving, maybe... they didn't even now the pressure that was upon us. 

But we, the last born girls in the family had something our brothers before us didn't... they expected things from us. They expected too much. For me, all through middle school and highschool, I didn my best. I was always the first place in the grade and tried to succed in all I did. Sports, art, singing and acting, everything had to be included. The only thing that was liberating was my japanesse classes. Something I always have craved of, since she showed me anime for the first time.

For her: she lived like that untill graduating university. Nights of plenty study... working without sleep, following orders... I can say she didn't enjoy anything in her way up, she didn't enjoy live at all. My aunt was never the type of girl that liked going out at night, and she didn't have enough friends that were like her and understood her. Well... she didn't even had a boyfriend, it sounds like a looser, isn't it? Well she was my roll model before, she worked so hard... even when she didn't have a set future. I admire her determination and her... faith?. She was lonely, but had the love of our family, and of course, she wanted to keep it that way.  She was so into her roll of the perfect daugther... we were so into our roll, that we didn't know otherwise. But everything changed.

The only thing that brought us to light, after a lifetime of wasting time was... k-pop. It might sound idiotic, but we loved it since the first moment. We both loved it for different reasons, but the root of our love, deepened when we started admiring the efforts made from these teenagers. The passion and the hard work that they displayed... it stealed our hearts. Both of us understood, how their dreams have moved them to action. Actually, we used to have dreams too, but avandoned them just to fit the ideal person, the person with no trouble in society.

That's when we made a plan. After graduation she would leave everything behind to travel the world, and I would pursue my crazy desire to study animation in Japan. Of course, both of us worked harder than anyone, but we had to face our deepest fears... leaving our family and the people that we have been trying to satisfy our entire lifes. It was hard to keep my word and stayed one year longer, to finish highschool, specially since my parents and grandparents were so reluctant to the idea of my aunt "waisting" her life. But I ended up applying to the scholarship and, for some kind of miracle, got it.

About Bangtan... The first time I got to listen to their music, was also the time I was the most frustrated about school. I had always been the best, number 1 from time to time.... but I was definetly not happy at all.  Even when I was the best, I felt like I was wasting my time in an institution that didn't bring me any benefits... that I was doing school just to fit the ideals of society and that it had to be done so I could do the next stage (university). I wanted to leave school so bad... but thanks to BTS I could endure it till the end. They were not only the only relieve in my life but also the inspiration that made me go further. They really saved me, they and my aunt's support.

And now, I'm here, in Korea, waiting for her to appear. I'd lie if I say I'm not surprised she's late. Actually, she has always been kind of a mom to me, always taking care and calling to make sure I had everything. She's not the type to make me wait, she's not the type to make anyone wait. She has this mom-style so imprinted in her DNA that she almost supported me some time while I got my job in Japan. And the fact that she's so late, and she had been asleep when she was supposed to be here is how I know that she had been putting too much effort and had been working till almost passing out... just like when she was on one of her projects on university. I also know, her work is impecable, so this comeback it's gonna be the best so far.

I look through the window... it's been long enough since I was here, visiting her. Seoul feels different than Tokyo, the air is different... it smells different. Even the coffee tastes different. It's not better nor worse, it's just different. But I like Tokyo better... 

I see her coming with her bike... ahh God... she didn't even wore make up, it wasn't normal since she had always taken care of herself well. I cannot even wait till she came completly in the shop. It's been so long since I came visit her. She had always been the one that came to see me at Tokyo. I feel a deep sorrow, specially cause I know she feels lonley.

"I've missed you!"- I don't hesitate to put my whole weight on her. Even when she had (almost always) been smaller than I, one of her good attributes is her physical strength, and I loved that so much.

"I've missed you more Nana"- she hugs me hard enough for me to caugh. 

"Can you be more gentle?"- she frowns. Deeply, I know she feels ashamed of her masculine attitudes, but it's a normal thing to pick up in a latin society... and specially in our family, where women are not there to look pretty but to rule over boys. Matriatchy is bedrock, to be the strongest is the most common thing among us.- "For Christ sake... I thought you had changed, but I guess not"

"I haven't changed, but you... wow! Did you grew taller?"- I had, juts a few centimeters though... how did she noticed? It's amazing as always. It's also good that she hadn't notice I've been sick, she would be very worried. Last week of finals was the toughest ever and I hadn't been able to take care of my body. My body aches, but I really wanted to see her, and of course Bangtan too.

"I haven't. It's just that you've aged and started to shrink"- she hits me, like many times before, but this time it hurts more.

We talk a little, but all I can focus in is her really tired stance. She had her shoulders down, and her back was folded almost into two. She keeps smiling at me, but I know... she lost weight too. So what I want the most right now it's to let her sleep more. I pull her to the streets with the excuse of wanting to meet Bangtan, when all I wanted was to get her home. Of course I was not expecting to being dragged by... him. I find myself running almost too desperatly from a mob of people right behind me. 

"What...?"-The only thing I can think is my aunt. A second ago I was standing there with her... where is she? I look back but all I see is people coming to us. Once again, I try to look back but I feel him pulling me nearer him.

"Don't stop"- Junkook's eyes fetched mine for a split of a second. OMG! It's really him... he's Jungkook and it's really Bangtan, I'm not dreaming...

"Sorry... explain latter"- I see J-hope running at my side- "... run?... fastuuu!..."- he pulls in a very funny english. I cannot believe it. A second ago I was trying to get my aunt home and now I'm running through the streets of Seoul with the people I wanted to meet the most in the world. I have to look twice to be really aware... it's really Hoseok I'm running side by side with. I turn my head to see back again, but this time my aunt and Jimin are gone.

"Where is she?!"- I scream in my lousy korean. It's been a real long time since I used the poor skills I learned from varieties and music shows, and of course the basics my aunt had taught me- "...Ssal?"

"You speak korean?"- Jungkook's eye smile blows me away- "Ssal-noona never told us..."

"Ohhhhh...."

"Run faster! They're getting closer!"- V shouted from the front- "Less talk more movement of feet"- I cannot... begin to process what's going on... the only thing that makes me keep on going is his hand. In my head, I can't process anything that's happening, I just do as they tell me and run as fast as my feet let me.

After agonazing 10 minutes of full speed sprinting, V guided us into a mall where we lost the girls that were following them. Even when my lungs are burning on fire, I'm in heaven. And right now, the less of my worries is my physical pain... I'm in the middle of an unkwon area, with the people I wanted to meet the most in my entire life, but with the huge problem that I couldn't comunicate. After a full minute of recovery Hoseoks voice filled the hall we were in.

"Ohh God... WHY DID YOU HAVE TO YELL IN THE MIDDLE OF A STREET??!"- J-hope screamed shaking V to his bones. All the people started looking at us again, so once again we start to walk with our heads down. His warm hand still around mine.

"I'm sorry hyung... I was excited cause noona had told us that her niece is our fan and... we finally got to see her..."

"I... can't... really"- J-hope said in the middle of breathings. I couldn't believe myself. I was there. With them... watching them live. It was so... surreal- "I'm too old to take this .This is exactly why I said it was a terrible idea to follow Ssal-noona"- V, Jungkook and him started rounding the halls of the mall while I silently tagged along, observing every single move to try to determine if I could do something to help, something other than breath their air and of course trying to get a graps of reality, cause I might be still dreaming... there where a lot of reasons to think that I might be still sleeping in an uncomfortable airplain chair...

But as minutes passes by, nothing indicates that it isn't happening. Everything fits too well. They are the same I've watched in those sleepless varieties nights and all those bangtan bombs... This is the real deal, and I suddenly feel sick.

"Are you ok?"- Jungkook approached my face. I almost cry out loud- "Hyung... I think she's ill... she's pale"

"Oh!! Is she gonna pass out?"- V stood besides me. Wow... they're so tall. Even taller than what I've imagined. I wasn't ready to meet them like that. 

"I..."-I can't help but notice... Jungkook looks amazing, even when he's not wearing any make up or any special clothes. They all do, but him specially. Maybe it's because he's my bias... He's radiant- "You are so... wow..."

"Ahh is just fan "- Jungkook walked passes me with a look in his eyes I had never seen... somehow cold and uninterested. He grins in the same cold way- "Let's see how long till she gets tired of us"- He turns his back on me at the same time that almost throws my hand away. His back was wider than I had ever imagine, specially when it was all I could see from him. What's wrong? Did I do something that pissed him?

"Don't mind him"- J-hope pats my head warmly- "He's going through puberty"- I nood- "Do you really understand what I'm saying?"

"A little..."

"Great... where is Namjoon...?"- I cannot understand any further. They started talking way too fast for me to even get a hold of any word. What I overundestood was the state of panic, they were walking all over the place looking for something "...Hobeom-hyung"

"Hyung!"- V calls J-hope- "I found a phone!"  

It's not been half an hour since I was sitting in the starbucks waiting for my aunt, and now I was in a situation I couldn't quite digest. I didn't know what to do... so I stood there watching them talking by the phone. I take a deep breath and try to calm down from my fan .

I cannot stop watching Jungkook. He is sitting in a bench with his head down. I now realize that it's not gonna be as I have imagined, no bell sounds and angel chorus around them... Bangtan is here, with me. Right there, sitting with his ty mood... he is just a real person, very far from the tv character I'm used to. He's a living, breathing person. Just like me.  Well, it's obvious I had idolized them from the very beginning. Now, I'm not a fan, but a person like them,  but it wasn't dispointing... actually it wa even more interesting and I'm being blessed with something most fans cannot do: meet them in person.

So... why do I feel like crying for all the wrong motives? Maybe because I see him so down, and because I'm the most probable cause of it. Maybe it's just his sad back and my impotence to make him feel better, maybe because I want to tell him a lot of things, but I can't, maybe because I wanna sink in the deepest crack on earth and never resurface, but then again, maybe it's because I haven't eaten anything in 24 hours and my stomache aches a lot. 

"Are you ok?"- V stands next to me again and talks in an understandable english- "Hyung! She's not looking good"

"My stomach hurts"- I'm not a weak girly girl, but something's really wrong with me. It hurts too much and my vision gets blurry.

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Hi!! I'm so happy to see so much people subscribing! It make's me wanna write more and more :D. It's really encouraging for an author to find people is actually reading what we are writting. Thank you very much for subscribing, commenting and supporting my... imagination. XD. I hope to give everyone an interesting story to keep reading.

Hope you like this chapter as well. Interludes are gonna be from the niece's p/v and I'm planning to do this side story from time to time too. Please give it lots of love!

Fangirl corner:

My favorite Jungkook's pics. He's really cute... and manly. How is he able to do it?