Even when I'm wearing my dark shades, the sunshine hurts my eyes. It's rather a pretty morning... Am I little too optimistic? It's weird but I can't help but smile. The morning is just like any other, it's rather common for a week day in the morning for people to pile up in the bus and subway stations while others make a war out of coffee at the corner's starbucks.

The walk to the cafe was longer than usual, afterall I had time to spare. I was ecstatic, even with the none existent slept I had, I was walking on clouds. It had been a while since I took the time to watch around: the common live, the every day live of most of people... and I feel so greatful that I get to spend my days doing what I love to do, even when I have trouble and got disappointed a lot, I got to do whatever I wanted.  

As I walk in the cafe, the manager eapidly came to help me with the bags. 

"Annyonghaseyo"- I salute politely.

"Annyonghaseyo Ssal-ssi"- he smiles at me- "The kids are waiting in the other room"

"Are they already here?"- I was flustered... the appointment was in half an hour.

"Yes, they tent to come early"- he commented- "Suga needs his coffee dose after a sleepless night"

"Oh!"- Great, they haven't slept. Were they producing the whole night? Those kids... they're going to get sick. I follow him in the room and and as soon as I place my eyes on the big space I realice: this time it's not just Suga and Rapmon... the whole gang is there.- "This might actually be a dream"- I say to myself.

"Noona"- Rapmon called from the other side of the room and came to help me with the only bag I had in my hands by now- "We weren't expecting you so early... did you have breakfast?"- How the was he so hyper if they didn't sleep? The wonders of youth...

"Annyonghaseyo"- I vow to the other memebers. It was hard not to think of them as precious stars in the sky... though right now they looked rather like normal neighboardhood kids. None of them with make up, none of them had even washed yet. It was pretty obvious it had been a hell of a night. The dark bags under their eyes could as well reach their cheeks... I kinda feel bad for them, untill the one I know as V got up and toss himself onto me. 

"Noooonaaaa!! I REALLY WANTED TO SEE YOU!!!"- I... panic. Not a lot of asians do that level of skinship with people they just met. Back in my country was rather normal to develope that kind of relationship, but people here was a bit more... apatic?

"Tae Tae! Stop, you are creeping her out"- said a tall handsome one. I have to admit, he's got a face that any girl would kill for. So handsome. I blush a little at V's hug retrieves.

"I'm sorry"- he pouts.

"It's ok"- I say blushed to the bones. They are all here, right in front of me. I can only admire them for a few seconds untill Rapmon offered me a sit in front of the large table they are all sharing. There were traces of a large breakfast over the table, some plates were still on top and the youngers were still cleaning them off food.

"Now it does seems like an interview"- I say to myself. In front of me, not only the idols that I've had only the chance to see far away, but the seven guys I had the chance to work with. The seven guys that coyld offer me the chance to keep on living my dream. I was there, in this surreal meeting arranged by a little too much coincidences.

"Sorry for not telling you we were planning on bringing the whole crew"- Rapmon started- "But we have some things to explain"

"It's fine... I wanted to meet them too"- I say smiling. Of course, I wanted to meet them eventually, it was just a big punch to my psychological stability to see them sitting right in front of me with big grins in their faces. I had to balance my professional and my fangirl self very carefully if I wanted to survive the meeting.

"She needs the autographs"- Suga joked and I nodded playfully. I was so up in the sky that I hadn't noticed the waiter waiting at my side.

"Can I get you something?"- the waiter asked me. 

"Same as yesterday, please"- I say and adjust myself in the chair to keep my straight stance. While Jin and Rapmon were eagerly making the yougers eat the leftovers, I sat and admire the people around me.

It's very interesting to meet people you only have seen in tv. I started with the eldest, Jin. He's amazing, breathtaking. Let's be honest, it's almost impossible to find someone as handsome anywhere and if you do find someone, you can only stare. Long and sharp. You have to appreciate art when you see it, and Jin one of God's bests works. Of course I could notice since I stepped into the room, he was more than a beautiful face. He was also the hyung in charge, always looking, always supervising that everything is in order, but always with a warm smile in his face.

Then there was Suga. As my first impression the day before, I could say that he was one of those "don't with me" kind of person, but he could be warm and opened JUST with the people he liked... like me. As for now, I can only be amazed to see him awake. His usually little eyes were even more closed. He had yawned every 5 seconds or so, since I got into the room. I could say, he was mentally exhausted, and of course, I understand completely, afterall there's nothing more tiring than creative process over night. I can only wonder how that bright and sharp human can also be that yawning mess... cute... I had the impression I would've died if I'd said that a loud.

J-hope. He was the most hyperactive. For some reason he had been giving little jumps in his seat from the moment I walked in the room. He had that characteristic eyesmile... well, how to explain it... his smile was so up that his eyes disapeared completely and it seemed like he could make his face explote from happiness? It was the kind of smile that spreads if you stare too much. I bet he could get any person to do whatever he wanted just with that smile. He was looking at me from head to toe, but I didn't feel burden at all. He wasn't asseting me, he had this little stars hanging from his eyes... Shouldn't it be the other way around? 

Rapmon... at first, just by his smile gave the feeling that he was goofy, kind of babo. But then, you could see the change of gaze when he was surrounded by the kids. Very leader like, his slanted eyes became sharper, he had that charismatic feeling and you could feel "the power". I'm not exagerating, you have to be in the same room when he's talking about work... the guy had the complete control over whatever the discussion is... he has lots of sense. Just like in this moment, while the others were chatting or distracted with other stuff, Rapmon was completely focused on arranging everything for our meeting. Even though, I noticed that he was tired. He didn't want to show it, but I was kind of sensitive to that stuff. He was very tired, his shoulders were lower than yesterday. He was the kind of person to hide everything so the others wouldn't feel bothered by his pain... I was sort of like that too.

Then there was Jimin... I noticed him as soon as I came in the room. He was sitting on top of the table with his feet leaned in the chair. He was wearing a sleeveless white tank top, a snapback and black shorts. His toned arms didn't quite match his baby face, I'm not sure how can anyone have that kind of face and that body together. He looked 15, even when I knew better. In the beggining he stared at me for a while, but then he turned to talk to V and Jungkook, and never faced me again. I couldn't figure out any more than the obvious, he was a ball of energy just by how he moved while talking.

V was the easiest to read, but at the same time the puzzle out of them. He was an open book in the table, so sincere and honest, no inhibitions (most of koreans have lots), he most be the most misunderstanded in this society... I noticed he bit his nails regulary, even when he was talking. So damn interesting, his mind must be a maze, that not even him can decipher. What an amazing kid, he had that kind of personality that should annoy the hell out of me but, he has something far more drawing. I find him easy going and very authentic, there's nothing more fascinating than people like that for me.

And finally, the youngest... well nothing much to say about him. I had already done my homework on him. He was my niece's bias after all. I took my sweet time over the night to research him. Jeon Jungkook, the "golden maknae". Seventeen years of pure perfection. Danced, singed, rapped and did everything in a way only angels could... Am I exagerating? I could only say that there's not lots of singers that had been able to make me cry. Last night I listened to that damn song and I spend the next hour in a depressed state of mind. Working was that kind of a song.  Of course, he also had Suga's "don't even try to with me" actitude, but he had a mischevous smile while watching me... was he really the maknae? Cheeky talented bastard... you could say it by his expression: he knew I was thinking he was that good. God...  he was analizing me the same way I was analizing him...

"Well... I find this rather amusing"- I said under my breath.

"What was that?"- Jin asked happily.

"It's kind of surreal to meet you"- I say sincerly- "I never thought..."- and then a huge smile took control of me. I was not only the kind of girl that looses herself for pretty, talented boys. They definetly were, but I was a... physico-analicer of people. It was a nasty habit, but I had to start analising people as soon as meeting them, and they were an interesting bunch.

"We have to introduce ourselves"- said Rapmon after making them form two rows in front of me- "Annyonghaseyo, dul... set. BANG!"

"TANG!"- the others completed- "Annyonghaseyo! Bangtangsonyeondan ibnida!"- I swear I let a little yell out. Fangirl mode: ON. I had to cover my mouth with both my hands to hide the idiotic smile I had. 

"I guess noona like us"- Jimin's noona and his dark eye crecent smile was a bullet straight to my heart. Damn cute kid, I wanted to squeeze him just to see if his eyes would pop. After a few minutes, the coffee arrived.

"Not as much as I like her"- J-hope said- "I am your fan"- In that moment I remembered what Suga and Rapmon had said the day before. He had been going to the bar I sang to see me perform. I hold my breath for a little.

"Well that's weird... I'm not that good of a singer. I just do that to earn some money"

"You have your style. You have no idea how hard is to get that"- J-hope's opinions were very strong. I couldn't refute any further.

"It's true"- Jungkook noted- "we've gone to hear you too. Spanish is a nice language for singing"- I wasn't sure how to respond, I was having trouble looking at them in the eye after the revelation. They had all seen me on stage... Oh God- "Besides, you have a relaxing voice. It's soothing"

"Thank you..."

"Well, I guess after this we have some things to explain"- Suga stepped out of the formation and sat at my side- "Just sit comfortably, we won't be your bosses or anything, you are not going to work for us, but with us"- I took a note of the fact- "So we can be... friends?"

"I'm a little older than you guys"- I say- "Noona is fine"- Suga laughed.

"Damn, you are difficult. I like that"- he lean his face in his hand- "A nice riddle to figure out"

"Yoongi... you are scaring her"- Jin tried to control Suga- "Can you please get to the point an explain noona the whole thing?"

"... Ahh this is so not fun Jin-hyung"- he pouted cutely. I wonder how can he manage to change so quickly

"Let me explain further"- Jin sunny personality was reassuring- "All of us have seen you before in different... angles"- he looked at the others and Rapmon nodded aprovingly so he kept talking- "Suga and Rapmon had noticed your stall in the street. J-hope, V and Jungkook visit often the bar/karaoke where you work. And Jimin and I are regulars at the bar you bartender in"- that was new info.

"So... I've been surrounded by you all along and I hadn't noticed? That's very stupid of me"- I say more as a self note than for them.

"We've been practicing the arts of concealment for the last 2 years"- Jimin interrupted- "We can be very discreat if we don't want to be noticed"

"That's amazing"- I can't help but wonder if I had been living near all these people or passing them throught the streets, in the buses or the subways without noticing.

"But the point is, we all had noticed you"- Rapmon said- "You are talented, you work hard, you like creative and you live as... we do. We always want to associate with people like you.

"But... approaching... this is the first time"- Suga continued.

"So... can I ask why I was different?"- That was one of the questions that had been rounding my mind since the first meeting- "I bet you all have close friends that do the same I do. Why am I different?"

"Because... we all like you"- Rapmon said looking at the others- "We knew you separetly, we talked about you without noticing it was YOU. Suga and I couldn't stop babbling about the accesories we wanted to get from you. Hoseok, Jimin and Jungkook went as far as broke a curfew to go to your Tuesday performance. Jin and Jimin had seen your... strong personality..."

"I saw you kicking two guys asses a week ago"- Jimin pointed out- "They didn't want to pay the bill"- great, I was not lady like at all, but now they knew!

"Oh... sorry"- I blushed.

"No! That was amazing!"- he said- "how could you manage to do that? I mean you are so little..."- yes I was. I was just 1,62 in this country were average height was 1,73... I was a smurff. Genes... quite misery for me. I was not just different in facial features, my body was really different from asians. I was small, in every way, but at the same time I was toned (as a result of hours training in the gym) and I took care of my body quite well.

"I excercise a lot"-I was proud of myself for it- " I can handle that kind of job, that's how I got it..."- and then something clicked in my mind- "Ok... so you all had seen me around. But then, how is it that I'm having this job and no any other person?"

"That's the great story"- V jumped from his seat and landed near me- "We... sorta meet a month ago"

"What?"- that was impossible. I had trouble remembering people's names, but I never forget a face one I saw it... unless- "No way"

"It was fun noona"- V and Suga smiled wickedly.

Flashback

The first week of March, and even when I wasn't in the mood to celebrate, my friends were. My brithday was just the perfect excuse for partying... I don't understand why people are so happy about being one year older. I just wanted to stay under the covers and watch some depressing movies, but my younger and active friends had other plans. Takuya dragged me out of the workshop and made swear I would have fun.

There was two different reasons I never went clubbing. The first, because I hate crowded spaces, I hate people... Ok, now I feel like I have to explain this. I don't hate people, I work for them, I design for them, but I hate having to put up with people's crap after work hours. I have little tolerance... cero for future references, that's why my bartending job was such a pain in the ... I find difficult to establish a relationship with people, I'm one of this closed personality types. I don't want strangers touching me and I hate the stares on me. But on the other side, I love watching them.

The other reason was... I was a dangerous drunk. I was one of those drunks that are not afraid of anything while being drunk. I was a thread both for me and for the people around me, at least physcologically. It was like changing personalities with my opposite. Dare me on anything and I would do so.

"Takuya! Please don't let me drink too much"- I say as loudly as I can to overpower the pro-surrounding system of the Hongdae club. This wasn't a normal club, this was the trending hip hop site in Hongdae, it was the club I worked on. I made sure that if they were dragging me somewhere, at least I wanted to be comfortable with the people around, and the music too.

"I'll take care of you!"- I hear him. He grabs my and Eunji's hands while opening the path for us to the bar- "Just don't disapear like last time"- I gave a big nood. The music was good. I actually liked this club, it wasn't the normal, dance electronic Gangnam club where women could only go in with miniskirts that looked more like belts than clothes... I am definetly not that kind of girl. This club played dance hip hop, had rap battles in between and... well there were a lot of interesting my kind of people around.

"What do you want?"- Dan asked.

"Jin n tonic"- I scream. It was nice, we danced and enjoyed the performances.

It was not even midnight, but by my fifth Jin n tonic, Takuya, Daniel and Eunji were completely drunk. I was slightly wavery... but I was ok. Untill, the table next to us found out I was having my birthday party. In their group there was also someone celebrating his birthday. They were drinking soju and an ocational shot of tequila, and so... I got drunk.

Damn it, my social abilities do increase with alcohol... I don't remember anything further that night. All I can say is that in the morning I woke up in my bed next to Takuya. How we have gotten there was a mistery... untill now.

End of the flashback

"It was Suga's birthday too"- said Jin- "we went there in disguisse"

"... I was very drunk"- I couldn't feel anything but numbness. What the have I done for them to notice me? Did I danced on top of a table? Did I started singing in the middle of the dance floor?... I had done all of those being drunk so God knows what they saw me doing.

"We all were"- Suga pointed.

"I don't remember"- I try to look elsewhere, everyone was looking directly at me- "Did I do something I should be ashamed of?"

"It was wild"- J-hope said- "Ashamed... well it depends"- he chuckled.

"Right now you can really regret somethings, but what's really important didn't happen in the bar"- Rapmon intevined- "We walked you back home and on our way we... chatted. Quite a bit"

"That's... scary"- I feel goosebumps all over. I try to squeeze my brain as hard as I can to get some information, but I was so drunk that day that the last thing I remembered was someone making me drink a triple shot of tequila.

"Let's say that we clicked in a spiritual level"- Rapmon continued.

"You opened up, the travel, the troubles you've been having in your way here."- Suga continued- "We know your situation and all the you've been through"- Oh... did I told them everything? So now, after everything... They were doing this out of pity? Hell no...

"Did I cry?"- I sighed - "Is this pity? Do you really think I need your help?"- I couldn't believe it. Was I really that pitiful? Did I gave the impression that I couldn't take care of myself? Damn... If I have something wrong with me is that my pride takes over me. I take no one's alms, untill there I have survived on my own...

I didn't know how to react. I wanted the earth to split and to swallow me. .  I tried to take my bags to get out but then Suga grabbed my wrist before I could reach them.

"We lived the same... it's not pity. We understand"- he said looking at me in the eye.- "You are just like we were back in the day. We were good, but if no one had given us a chance, we would be in a very different path"

"Do you know? Why we are called Bangtansonyeondan?"- Rapmon sat nearer me- "Because are bullet proof. We didn't born that way, we made our way. We've gone through lots of critisism, through controversies... we are idols, but we do hiphop... It's that even possible? Well... we make our own path, beyond others judgments"

"I pulled all-nighters at preactice rooms instead of school, dancing and singing. When you guy partied, I gave up sleep fro dreams"- Jungkook said- " It's my part on Bullet proof. It's true, everything we've done requieres effort, and an enormous amount of will"

"And that's what we saw in you. From the begining, from the cafe, and the stall in the street"- Jin intervened- "We saw that passion, that effort and all the will to make it here. We know, we've been there"

"What hyungs are trying to say is that... as we did, you earned the chance"- Jimin said- "We aren't offering anything you don't deserve already. Just understand that, for some reason we crossed paths. Can't you take it as a faith matter?"- Fair enough, true enough. I lived hell to get here, I worked my off, was it a sin? I mean, to have contacts? Even when you don't remember having them... Destiny? That would be nice. My anger fades away with Jimin's angelic eye smile.

"Noona, we want you"- V added threwing himself, once again to me. This time I was expecing it so I hugged back- "Don't be like this... we don't feel pity, it's different"

"Ok"- I smile widely- "But I have another question..."- I look at Suga- "What is exactly what you want me to do? I brought clothes and a bunch of stuff but I have no idea why you need me"

"We want a new concept"- Jin concluded- "We want you to design us"

____________________________________

Once again... hello!! Ssal finally met Bangtan. From here on, the interactions will be more interesting, more personal. 

Hope you'd liked the chapter.

Fangirl corner:

Bangtan in all their splendor. What a nice photoshoot, a well done black and white editing. So handsome... damn kids... noona loves you all.