Malaysia pt 1
One more dayIdle Youth
By all things enslaved
Through sensitivity
I've wasted my days.
Ah! Let the moment come
When hearts love as one
화양영화 pt. 1 Mini Album (grey vers) Page 61
“So, what going on with you two?”- I ask in the middle of packing my underwear- “It’s been almost a month”
“Nothing much… it’s pretty boring having a long distance relationship and all”- Nana says clicking in the keyboard harshly. I know she’s doing some homework and by the way she’s staring absentmindedly to the screen I guess is a pretty horrible one.- “and my life in general. Look at you, packing a big case to go to Malaysia, and me, here, in the middle of the most boring moment of my entire life”
“Do you want me to send yo a cookie?”
“I hate you”
“I know”- and I smile- “All I can warranty is that we’ll go soon to Japan”
“Soon… God”- she snorts- “My aunt is one of Bangtan’s PD’s and my boyfriend is one of Bangtan members and all they can spoil me is… soon”
“You are an ARMY before me and before Kookie”- I say- “He made me promise not to tell you”
“I hate him”
“Yeah, yeah”
“So... Kookie told me”
“About what?”
“Jimin"
“Mmm”- I mumble, smile in my lips.
“Is it nice?”
“What?”
“Being in love?”
“Don't know... it's different”
“How?”
“Now it's not just me”
“That's nice”
“That's... perfect”
“How is he?”
“He's chatty, never stops talking and... he likes to play a lot”
“Tell me something I don't know”
“His lips tastes like cherry”
“Too much info”
“What do you want me to say? He's the same Jimin you already met. He likes to exercise and play around, he works hard and…"
“God… I just wanna know how is he with you”
“Ahh”- I take a little to think what to say- “He’s jealous of everyone that comes around me, and he calls me three times a day. He sends messages and snapchats that I can’t always answer. I don’t know how he has time to do all that. He's always reminding me of taking the pills. Every day he makes sure I eat every meal. He sometimes comes to my bedroom and we sleep here or sometimes I go up and stay in his. I rest better when he's around and he knows. Specially cause he's got this really curvy and when I back hug him…"
“Enough”
“Ok”
“It's good”
“Yeah... Is it possible? To be happy like this? Just by being with someone?”
“I don't know... My boyfriend is an ocean away”
“I'm sorry”
“Nah... it's interesting. He calls me 10 times a day and he's really possessive too. He's scared I'm gonna leave him... when it's me that should be really scared of him forgetting about me”
“Don't talk bull”- I snort.
“It's true. He likes me because I’m very far away... I think he likes me more as a friend than as anything else. He doesn’t wanna loose his pal, it’s that kind of need”
“Talk to him”
“What?!”
“If theres something I have learned is that it’d be better after getting your thoughts out your head. And… Jimin always hears well. He says is better if he knows what’s inside, cause he can’t read my thoughts.”
“It’s different between Kookie and me. We are so apart…”
“You should start making that gap shrunken, little by little”
“Who are you and where is my aunt?”- she makes the camera of the computer tremble- “where’s the chicken of a person I once knew? She would run away from confronting someone…”
“I’ve had enough trouble doing that”- is ay smiling and sitting down to watch her truthfully- “Believe me, It’s much better after you get it out of your chest”
“I like this new you“
“I like me too“
It’s been a while since I got to talk to her a little. She was definitely out of my life for a good month. I had stopped calling fearing she would find something wrong with me. Of course, she found out by Jungkook, the same day I snapped at them. She almost had a panic attack herself, just knowing how bad I actually was, but after that I had some time to talk to her and make sure she understood the whole situation.
I end packing up and look at the clock. It's late... or should I say early? Our flight departs at 7, but I've got to be much earlier, to check for everything we need to film the summer package. The whole VPD department was summoned to be at 4 am in Big Hit building to do the las check up. It's 1 am and I doubt I'd be able to rest if I sleep, I'll have five an a half hours to doze when we board the plane.
The VPD is as static as anyone else in the company. The response for the first part of the album was pretty good, both in Korea and internationally and there’s a hopeful air in all we do this days. The kids are happy, even when there’s been lots of inconveniences. It’s been a pretty busy week, music shows, interviews, fansigns and the preparations for this travel. I cannot deny it, I’m hell tired… But there’s this something that makes it more than bearable. Almost like everyone is leaning on everyone and the burden is lifted by not just one, but all of us.
I’m deep in thought and the ring of my phone startles m. Kalkao notification…
Go to sleep. I can hear your thoughts.
I look around for a signal of him watching me. Sometimes, I really believe he’s got some sort of camera pointing out on me 24/7.
You are really scaring me Jimin. I type down, but don’t get the chance to send it since he calls quickly.
“What are you doing? It’s 2 am. Go to sleep”- I say, taking revenge for him interrupting my text.
“Open the door”- his voice hoarse.
“Were you asleep? Why did you call?”
“Just open the door already, it’s freezing here”
“You kidding me?!”- I half whisper, half shout.
“Nah. Open! quick!”- I go to the front door and he’s there, no shoes, just a pair of white (not so white) socks and the usual baggy trousers and white shirt.
“What the hell…?”
“Let me in”- he makes his move to pass but I put an arm in the door frame.
“Go to your bed!”- I look down the hall and inside. I hope Hobeom-oppa is deep a sleep, cause he had already caught us in my bed and it wasn’t pretty.
“Nah, your mattress is better”
“I’ve gotta be ready in less than an hour and a half…”
“Let’s sleep for hour and a half”- he comes closer, but I stretch my arm and push his chest.
“Jimin…”- I deviate my face so I don’t have to look at him directly- “not today, we’ll have lots of time…”
“Don’t fight me. I’m tired, and I want to sleep in your arms”- I know, he hasn’t been able to sleep well either. It’s been at least three days since the last time we got some time to curl up together.
“Jimin…”- I try to resist, but make the tremendous mistake to look at him. The puppy eyes. I know I’ve got nothing else to say. He’s win… again. I let him in, feeling pathetically weak, but knowing too well that there was nothing I could do, he had already won when I opened the door. He’s got that kind of power on me.
Jimin enters my room rolling his socks off and getting into bed immediately.
“Come”- he pats the space at his side and I sigh. It’s times like this that I wonder what goes through his head. He must be a special one, I haven’t had someone in my life as insistent as he is… but somehow, it makes me feel taken care of.
“Mmm”- I buzz, resisting the idea of giving in so easily. I sit in the floor and zip the suitcase- “You should be in your bed, the curfew…”
“I thought having a PD as a girlfriend gave me benefits”- I can almost hear the smirk in his voice.
“I’m not a PD when we are like this”- I grunt- “I’m just me”
“Don’t be moody”- he sits in the brim of the mattress and poke my back with his feet- “Come, quickly”- he gets up and sits, back hugging me- “I’m tired”- I can hear it in his voice, it’s no surprise, since he’s been up for almost 36 hours straight. I get up and extent a hand at him to help him up.
“Let’s go then”- he smiles at me and jumps to bed. He’s such a kid, but he’s the kid I love. I walk to the switch and turn lights off. I blindly find my phone and sit in the bed to check it just to make sure I have nothing else to take care of. But I cannot even unlock it when I suddenly feel fingers surrounding my upper arm pulling me to bounce in the mattress.
“Hey!”- but I can’t do anything, he’s got me locked up in his arms- “thought you wanted to sleep in my arms”
“The order of the facts doesn’t alter the result”- He presses me in his chest and takes a deep breath- “you smell like chocolate”
“Why do you keep saying that?”- I finally ask- “my shampoo is strawberry and the perfume I use is flowery scented”
“I don’t know… you smell like chocolate”- his grin pressed against my scalp. I wrap my arm around his waist and make him move a little, so I can fit between his shoulder and chest.
“How’s your back?”- lips meeting his smooth collarbone’s skin.
“Better”- he sighs- “But still hurts”- I rub the palm of my hand in the small of his back and he hisses.
“God…”- it makes something in my insides squeeze hard. Just the sound of him in pain- “should I get some ointment?… I’ve got some spare here”- I try to leave the bed. but he pulls me again and I fell in the mattress bouncing a little.
“Let’s sleep”- he snuggles in my hair.
“I don’t wanna see you in pain”
“It’s fine”- he says-“my is bruised, but it doesn’t hurt when I move anymore”
“I love your ”- I say in a bold tone- “I want it to be save and pretty”
“I love that you love it”- he returns in the same sassy tone- “I love yours too, but I what makes me go crazy about you is this spot right between your…”- I slap his bicep and make him stop before he says whatever is on his mind.
“This is going a weird path. Let’s stop”- I cuddle in his arms and he laughs. That little chuckle that makes my day so much better. I’m still worried about his back… He’s that kind of person that prefers to lie than to draw the “bad kind” of attention. I put my hands gently on top of the patch of purple skin trying hard not to press too much. Maybe the heat will be good…
“It’s nice”- he whispers at my ear- “It feels good”
“Please take care of yourself”- I say kissing the line of his jaw- “I wanna sleep with the healthy Jiminie”
“What to do?… I’m too busy taking care of you”- I slap his arm again, this time a little harder. He laughs it off and continues, kissing the top of my head- “But it’s ok. You take care of me, and I’ll take care of you. Deal?”
“Deal”
____________
“Look at that!”- Tae jumps in the airplane- “there’s a whale”
“It’s impossible to see from up here Tae, just stop day dreaming”- Namjoon says.
“Really, there’s a whale hyung”- he insists looking through the window- “Jiminie, you saw it, didn’t you?”
“Nah, my sight is bad Tae”- he says pulling his dark shades off the bridge of his nose- “Sorry”
“Yahh…”- Tae sighs.
I wake up in the hazzle of Tae’s explanation on how he has more 30/20 of sight and Namjoon has enough so he smacks the back of his back.
“Good evening”- Suga salutes on my side- “you’ve been sleeping for the past 4 hours”
“Don’t even mention it, I thought you were sleep walking to the plane this morning”- I stretch my numb limbs and snuggle besides his arm- “Damn it, I wanna sleep 12 hours more”
“Yeah, so do I”- he mumbles- “I know I’m gonna burn my as soon as we leave the plane”- complaining noises leaving his nose- “It’s not like I was made for summer like you”
“Because I come from a mostly tropical country does not state that I am a summer creature”- I grumble- “I’ve always lived under 15ºC… this is gonna crush my tolerance by a lot”
“You two seem like sides of a same coin”- Jin notes at my other side.
“You are in the same boat as us”- I squank- “There’s no way you have more energy than us”
“You are as ed up as”- Yoongi compliments.
“Of course I am”- he says- “That’s exactly why I sat here, away from the ruckus of the young ones”
“We are the old trio”- I breath out- “Did they even sleep a little?”
“Nah…”- Yoongi replies- “It’s been hell in heavens, if you know what I mean”
“Yeah…”- but I don’t get the chance to keep talking.
“You said you’d change places with me when she got up”- Jimin bounces in the hall- “Yoongi-hyungggg!!”- I can’t hide the smile that starts taking up my lips. It’s become more and more obvious, the feeling when I hear his voice. It’s somehow soothing, somehow exciting.
“Get out of here Jimin, let me have a minute of peace”- Yoongi snorts- “It’s less than an hour left of the flight, just stay in your sit”
“Hyungggggg!!!”- for someone that refuses so hard to do aegyo in tv shows, he’s more than willing to reduce his ego to cero when it comes to Yoongi. Mental note: make sure one show makes them do aegyo… to all of them.
“God save me”- Yoongi rolls his eyes. But we all know very well, he can’t refuse Jimin, there’s a weak spot for him in Yoongi’s heart. Suga gets up, not without slapping Jimin’s head. It’s kind of funny how the two interact.
“You were hugging him again”- he says collapsing dramatically at my side- “It’s not fair”
“Hobeom-oppa was the one that arranged the sitting, you can blame on him for taking me away from you”- I reply, looking through the plane window, there’s a bunch of clouds that makes it impossible to see more than a meter away. I wonder how in earth could Taehyung have seen a whale- “And there’s nothing wrong with me snoozing in Yoongi’s shoulder…”
“There is”- he says strongly- “The thing is that you two… seems more like in a relationship than us two”
“You kidding me?”- I almost yell, Jin is having the time of his live at my other side and I feel the urge to punch him in the guts.
“There’s this aura around you two…”
“Shut it”- I say holding his hand- “Yoongi and I are nothing more than a pair of old, confused souls that wander around searching for other souls like us to complain together. That’s it”
“It’s like you click together…”
“Cause we are the same, I swear Jimin, if there’s a day were Yoongi and I get together, the world would end”- and he laughs.
“Listen to her Jimin”- Jin says getting up- “no one but you can handle noona, like there’s no one else that could’ve made Yoongi get up from that chair”- he gets away in the hall and I appreciate again the beauty of Jin’s deeper understanding of all situations. Without him, all of us could’ve ripped our heads off ages ago. I cuddle in his shoulder and look at him. I know he’s been holding in for a long time. Yes, Yoongi and I have been close since the first time, but… it’s so different. He looks troubled, and I hate to make him feel that way.
“There’s really no need for you to be so jealous”- I sigh- “The mere realisation of me liking you gave me enough psychological problems to bear for my entire life. Do you really think I could just stop loving you from a moment to another? Or start liking someone else…?”- he breaths out and hugs me back- “And I like your arms better”- I say cuddling in his arms- “the muscle…”
“Am I a kink to you?”- he says, feigning hurting.
“Yeah, my kinkiest kink”- I say kissing his chin.
“This is the captain speaking, please take your sits and buck up, we’ll start descending in a few minutes. There’s a clear weather and the air flow in our favour…”
____________________
The weather is, as predicted, the most unsuitable for both Suga and I. High humidity, almost no winds and temperatures above 40ºC… we were being baked alive. But of course, Hoseok, Jimin, Tae and Kookie were like fishes in a pond.
I get near to Jin and notice he is sweating his make up off.
“”- I mumble while running a tissue beyond his bangs so they won’t be drenched in sweat- “filming is gonna be a serious challenge”
“Don’t worry”- Hobeom says at my back- “The hotel is located near a private beach and there will be currents of air”
“But heat is…”
“Nooonaaaa!!”- I don’t get a spare of a second before Hoseok is tossing himself at me- “I really want to play in the pool”- the sole contact between his body and mine is enough for me to push him, it’s too hot, too humid.
“God, Hoseok… are you positive to be in our age range?”- I mumble walking away from him- “What the hell did they feed you today with?”
“We’re in a holiday trip noona, we have to enjoy!”- he says massaging my shoulders- “We’ll get the recording done in no time so we can have a good rest”
“I hope so”- I look at the sky hissing at the sun.
“So grumpy”- Jimin is a meter ahead of me, walking with his hand bag wrapped elegantly in his hands. He’s gorgeous, as always. Gotta give Sowon most of the credit. God… how can he look so good in a plain white shirt and jeans… the dark shades framing his face perfectly. Jimin's hand extended at me and without hesitating I take it. His skin is hot to the touch, just like everything under this damn sun, but I don’t give it much of a thought. He’s cooling my head just by playing with my fingers. I walk a few steps away from him, watching his back contorting at every single move. He’s lean and solid, but there’s this tenderness in everything he does. I can’t understand how someone so manly has this double side of cuteness and childish remaining… and I want to take care of his child side and I wanna be cared for his manly and strong side.
There’s a bus waiting for everyone and we finally get in a air-con environment. I can’t lie, I’m irritated. It’s not a good weather for me and it makes me feel exhausted.
“You ok?”- he asks- “Did you take your pills?”
“Yeah”- I recline my head in the window and look out.
“What’s up?”- he asks tossing his bag in the front sit.
“Nothing, really”- I task.
“Talk to me”
“Jimin, I’m not in the mood right now, can you please just…”- He falls silent and I feel a pool of guilt collecting in my tummy. He looks away, but sits in the place besides me. It’s a long ride from the airport to the hotel, there’s this happy feeling in the air and… I can’t join. No matter what I think, my body feels heavy and distressed.
“We’re here!”- V announces bouncing in his sit- “Finally!! Let’s go to the pool!!”- he’s already up and walking to the exit of the bus. Jimin gets up taking my back and tossing it around his shoulder and the proceeding to take his own. He’s… so considerate it makes me wanna slap me in the face for giving him a hard time, specially when he should be having a good time.
“Let’s go tot he rooms and get our swimming suits on”- Jungkook says youthful but chic expression on his face.
“I too… wanna swim in the pool”- Jimin says under his breath following Jungkook.
“I know, we have something planned for the damn pool”- I say, words leaving my lips a little harsher than intended. He stops suddenly and I run into his back. I can’t see his face, but I’m positive I made it. He’s mad at me. I wouldn’t blame him, I’m not my usual self… and I don’t know why… I was ok just before leaving the plane. I’m kind of scared to look at him, but he pulls me to his chest.
“I wanna go with you, let’s go to the pool together”- I can hear the beat of his heart smooth and steady- “I know you are uncomfortable but… let’s enjoy ourselves here. I wanna have a good vacation with my girlfriend”- he leans in and whisper in my ear- “I wanna see you in your swimming suit”
“Lucky bastard”- Jungkook says- “Mine is not even in the same country as me… eating in the sight of the starved. You two are too much”- I’m blushing furiously in Jimin’s arms and I hope he doesn’t retrieve so all of the other see how much it made me loose my demeanour.
I escape as quickly as I can.
He teases me well… he pulls all the right strings at the right moments. There’s this idea that keeps popping in my head for the past days… Jimin… he makes me… better. He can turn my moods upside down, my whole world with just… being him. I noticed… even when we’ve been together for less than a week. I know. He gets me. He always knows what to do, what not to do. When to laugh, when to hug, when to kiss. He knows, he knows when to keep silent, when it’s okay to approach me. He just understand me… and it’s not just, because I know how complicated I can get. Sometimes, not even I can understand myself… but him… It’s like he’s reading me. I’m an open book to him. He can see everything clearly… and I feel so overwhelmed by it. Can someone make you feel like this? it’s normal?
It’s like all my life I’ve been writing this novel, a very twisted, complicated and troublesome maze like story with the sole intention of no one being able to read it, and now… well, someone rips it open, from the inside out and just… get’s it.
God… love is quite a thing, and I haven’t even started yet.
“You shouldn’t let him do that to you”- Yoongi says in the reception following me with a large smirk, his voice making me pop out of my deep thought.- “he’s gonna start embarrassing you everywhere. He’s that kind of person”
“And what do you suggest I do to stop him?”- I glare at him, apple cheeks in full display for them to mock me. I can see Namjoon and Jin giggling at the situation in the corner of the reception. Did everyone hear? - “If it were easy, you would’ve controlled him ages ago”
“No need to attack”- he says making a mocking pantomime of evading a punch- “we’re both in the same boat here. Where are you staying?”
“In this hotel”- I say sarcastically trying to make it even, but I know Yoongi would just punch harder.
“Do you really want me to mouth the real question?”- his voice getting louder by the second.
“God, no… I… am getting my own room”- I mumble- “You guys are gonna have an apartment by your own and the rest of the staff will be in the same floor”
“Ok”- he says- “So I guess I’ll just have to ask to stay with Jimin”- it takes me a second to analyse the statement, and even with that I can’t seem to get a grasp of the real meaning behind it.
“Why?”- my lips mouthing before I could stop them. I really shouldn’t have asked, I knew it.
“Cause I want the room for myself”- he laughs- “There’s no way he’s gonna stay with us if you have your own room”
“God…”
“I suppose I don’t have to give you the talk… about protection and stuff”- he keeps it up- “cause you know, we are in a kind of romantic place, at night…”
“Yoongi what the ?!!”
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