I'm tired... it's actually been very hard.

Getting here was my biggest success so far. I really worked hard to be able to come... but I'm so tired. Should I just return home? It's been three years already... I love it here in Seoul but, it's getting impossible for me to stay. 

In the beginning I was just trying luck traveling around the world. After getting out of college I decided to threw myself to uncertainty and see if I could stood on my own feet, but since life is a ... things don't always go the way people wants. 

And that's how I got here. The middle of Hongdae, in the same spot I've been for the last two years. I hadn't go farther or lower. I stood in the same place. The same little stalls around, the same restaurants and coffee shops. The same people, the same little chat with the "neighbors" around me, the same job at night, the same rutine day after day... it's so frustraiting. I really want to punch someone, just to relieve stress.

"Are you selling those? They are amazing!"- the voice of the overly-excited kid in front of me made me land from my daydream. There were two guys, one was tall with a nice style backsnap, the other one was rather average or so I could see throught the mask that covered most of his face, idol style.  I didn't reply, it was too obvious and she hated obvious questions. In the middle of the street stalls in Hongdae... of course I was selling. It was not a display nor a museum. I was exasperated... why did I have to listen to this people when I would probably have to pack as soon as I'll get home?

What am I gonna do from here on? What should I do to stop being stuck in the same pace for another two years? When I came to Seoul I had great dreams. The backpack, the guitar and the talent was all I had, but I really thought I could make it somehow... So ing naive.

That day I had recieved the notification of my landlord. I am living with two other friends in a basement. It wasn't pretty but we had enough space in there for the three of us, and we had a little workshop to make our stuff. Now, after the eviction notice, we had nowhere else to go. I wasn't expecting to be pulled down to earth so abruptly... I was in a freefall about to die.

"Are you a foreigner?"- The tall guy speaked in a perfect english. I wasn't in the mood to explain anything further.

"Are you actually buying something?"- I replied in an identical perfect english, rudely. Usually I wasn't this moody, but things were getting worser day by day and this day was a specially hard one- "Or do you want a picture?"

"I like your style... it fits well with people like us"- his voice sounded familiar, but I wasn't curious enough to try to found out why- "do you want to work with us?"

"Namjoon... you should learn not to pick up chicks in Hongdae"- the masked one muttered in korean teasingly.

"I'm not a chick"- I said in as perfect korean as english- "and yes, I speak korean, are you gonna buy...?"-and then, for the first time, my eyes focused on them. I almost fell for the little chair I was sitting on- "Wow...You are..."- and then the tall guy shooed me with a little wink. I got up inmediately.

"Let's keep it between us can you?"- he said with a wide smile. In front of me, two of the idols that were making everyone crazy. Rap Monster and Suga from BTS. 

I can't deny it, I like k-pop. Yes, I am a 25 year old that loved boy groups and the culture around it... after all I myself am a designer. That was one of the main reasons why I was in Seoul. Oh what a shock! I had been in Seoul for two years and the closest I had been to an idol was... well concerts and presentations in broadcast stations. Seeing them one on one was... well kind of surreal.

"We don't want people to know we are here"- said Suga seriously.

"... yeah"- I muttered. Of course I knew I was as red as a tomato, I had that habit when I got "slightly" embarassed. Bangtan wasn't my bias group on k-pop, but it was near to what I really liked. On the other hand, BTS is my niece's favorite idols and sometime ago, she made me go to one of their concerts with her. She is crazy about them... she's gonna die when I tell her...

"So? How about coming with us?"- he asked again- "Let's have some coffee..."

"I..."- it was hard enough to believe that I was actually speaking to them, now... where they interested in my designs? Is this some kind of cruel joke? A hidden camera anywhere? I know my designs are good... I made them, but... I don't think are good enough to tempt that scale of a kpop star.

"I really like you"- said Suga looking me from head to toe. Damn, today was a terrible day to have someone looking me from head to toe, much less Suga. Well, I wasn't dressed horribly... I always dressed well, but today, I wore the baggiest and oldest hoodie I had in my wordrobe, a pair of skinny ripped jeans and my dirtiest white-gray converse. I wasn't even wearing mascara and my short wavy hair was in half a pony tail.- "Do you really have to say no?"- I wasn't going to say no... whay would he think that? And the I noticed, I was expresionless, not blushed. My face was frozen... damn face! I was always so easy to read and today it betrayed me completely.

"Ok... look I just want to talk to you"- Rapmon said getting nearer to me. He was so near I could see every feature of his face.- "I've seen you around quite a lot and I can appreaciate what you are doing here. It's quite our style. Just have coffee with us and if you don't like what you are hearing, you can leave"

"... I just"- I bit my lower lip. My mouth didn't respond the way I wanted... so slow- "Ok"- was the only affirmative answer I could give that made a little sense.

Rapmon smiled. It was absolutely breathtaking, I don't know how I could keep my cool around them, it was hard to breath the same air they breath. Am I exagerating? Well, it's not everyday you meet people like this. I can actually put my hand on fire... the air was thicker around them.

I followed them silently to a little cafe in the same street. I used to go there a lot for underground performances at night, but in the middle of the day it was just as normal as the whole street. The owner saluted us, but as soon as he saw Rapmon and Suga he opened a door to the back. I followed behind. We sat in another saloon, it was rather empty, just two other people where in the farthest corner of were we sat.

"Don't think we are creeps"- said Suga getting rid of the mask- "we come here a lot and... we've seen your collections and we are interested"- I actually wasn't processing the whole scene. My mind was trying to get used to... talk.

"... thank you"- I said, and then I could analize what they were speaking about... they were really interested in my designs. Wow... really. And then another thing hit me, something was bothering me from the beginning, but I was too slow to get it untill now- "Excuse me but... I know I'm a foreigner but if we keep speaking in korean... I'm older than you guys"- I said- "loose the banmal"

"Oh! Excuse me!"- he said in formal language and pouted a bit. Cute- "Are you a noona? You look so... young"

"Thank you"- I vowed politely making them do the same. It was kind of akward but I had to do it. Learning the language was complicated and I hated when people just spoke to me in banmal from the beginning. I have a strong personality, I'm very aware of it- "I'm a 90'er"

"Wow..."- Rapmon looked again at me- "you fooled me straight"- and then laughed a bit- "We have someone in our group that has the same problem"

"Jimin?"- I asked and laughed a little.

"Cute..."- Suga whispered, but of course I could hear it- "I thought you were a moody girl"

"I'm not like this usually, it's just that... I have lots of problems now"- I said. The waiter came for our orders- "I want an americano, no sugar please"

"Oh you take it strong"- Rapmon said.

"I'm a Colombian, I take coffee seriously"- I said- "Coffee only tastes like coffee without anything else"

"Really? Colombia? That's far a way..."- Suga pocked Rapmon with his elbow.

"What a strong believe, for something like coffee"- Rapmon added- "I'll take the same"

"I can't take bitter things... I'll just have a latte"- Suga said to the waiter and then he left to make the coffees.- "But I really appreciate people that own their own minds"

"I like people that like that"- I said smiling more relaxed.

As I said before, BTS wasn't my bias group but my niece kept nagging me about them so I got to know a little about them. I knew for a fact that Rapmon was some kind of genius (I don''t believe in geniuses) and that Suga did his own raps (which I loved) so I respected them a lot. I also knew their background as undegrounds, I had heared a lot of their pre-debut mixed tapes in Hongdae's hip hop basements.

"It's interesting, meeting a girl with such strong phylosophy...  just with coffee"- the atmosphere changed for the better after the banmal comment. I was not so nervous as before and my bad mood was desapearing after talking to them.

"I've lived enough to have serious phylosophies in life"- I say- "... now I have to do something I wanted from the beginning but I was so nervous I couldn't... Can you give me your autographs?"- they smiled at each other.

"You like BTS?"- Rapmon asked laughing again. It stoped my heart a bit. He was cute.

"I do... I have all discography. But, I'm not following you or anything, I just really like your music. The autographs are not for me. My niece would kill me if she knew I met Bangtan and didn't ask for autographs"- She would really, literally kill me if she found out- "She have seen every variety, every interview, every show... she's really a fan of yours"- I remembered the time when she asked me to translate a whole 2 hours interview... It was a nice practice for my recently adquiare korean vocabulary. Rapmon and Suga smiled at each other.

"Autographs... I'll give them to you afterwards"- Rapmon said. The coffees arrived and I took a sip of my coffee. It was the most deliciuos thing I had drinked in my 25 years of life. Maybe because it was good coffee, maybe because who I was having it with. Good thing I stood in Seoul, at least for a little more.- "I want to get to businness. We've been coming to Hongdae for... well underground performances, you know? We still do them in selected clubs"- I didn't know. I was aware that a lot of idol rappers came to the underground scene to realese some stress, but Bangtan... well they were special. They got to do the music they wanted... didn't they?- "And everytime we came, you were there, selling your stuff"

"We really like it"- Suga commented- "Do you do them? Or just sell them?"

"I do them"- I said- "I am a designer"

"Oh!"- Rapmon exchanged looks with Suga- "Perfect..."

"Perfect..?"- I repeat, but Rapmon asked something else right away.

"What kind of designer?"- he asked.

"Well objects in general"- I answear- "Jewlery and clothes is what I can sell, but I do everything"

"Industrial design then?"- Suga asked.

"Yeah... I never give the title, people don't know what indsutrial designers do"- I laughed. It was really interesting, they knew about lots of things, and they were interested in... me.

"How is it that you speak korean so well?"- Rapmon asked.

"I've lived in Seoul for almost two years now"

"And english?"- Suga asked.

"I have studied it since I was a kid"

"Do you speak any other languages?"- I was getting dizzy just looking at them 

"I speak spanish as my mother language, but also french and a bit of japanese"- Rapmon claped. This time I really blushed.

"Do you live in Seoul?"- Rapmon kept asking.

"Yes..."- for now. I think to myself.

"Do you have a job? Well besides designing?"- Suga asked this time- "Do you have a working visa? Are you a resident?"

"I just got my residency... and yes I have another job, well it's nothing related to design. I work as a bartender in a near club"- I said- "At night..."- and then when Rapmon was about to open his mouth I stopped him with my hand- "Stop! stop!'- I took a breath- "What are you doing? It's this a job interview or something?"

"Yes"- they both answear. I was open mouthed. Were they serious? They just picked any artist out of Hongdae's streets and then bomb them with all those questions? They didn't even know me... Besides... What kind of job would I do for them? I massaged my temples, so many questions were making my head hurt.

"Do you do this a lot?"- I asked half serious half sarcastic- "I mean... hire people you don't know at all from the streets"

"Never"- Rapmon answered seriously- "You caught our eye... actually, we've seen you perform in the bar down street"- I could die... They had seen me playing the guitar and singing the ty spanish songs I knew in the damn bar. I did that once or twice a week, people gave me big tips because I was... exotic and had a decent voice.- "I love interesting talented people, and you are one of those people"

"Hoseok comes every Tuesday to see you"- Suga commented- "He says you calm him and make his stress go away"- I could just die right there. I was embarassed and flattered at the same time.

"We never do this"- Rapmon said- "But we've kept our eye on you for a long time. Today, we came with Suga and... we decide to talk to you. Just to proof luck"

"Luck...?"- I said in the middle of my trance... was this really happening to me? After all the things I had to live in Seoul... It had to be a dream.  All the hard times, I saw them in an instant. From when I got here with just a few dolars... Countless hungry nights, my friend's coaches were I had to live for much longer that I wanted. The time were we finally made enought to pay a deposit and rent for a decent place, the inifinite hours sweeing and making accesories, even the nights in the damn bar with the drunkies trying to get in my pants... It passed all in a second. Tears started to pile in my eyes.

"Wowowowo! easy!"- said Suga when the tears started rolling down my cheeks- "you ok?... why are you crying all of a sudden?" 

"I was about to give up..."- I said in the middle of sobs-"It was so difficult!... I'm sorry for crying like this. I swear I'm not like this... I'll work hard"- I say while trying to clean my face with my sweater's sleeves. Rapmon took a napkin and offered it to me.

"I kind of understand... we were the same... you had it rough didn't you?"- he patted my back- "It's alright now"

"Do you want to work with us?"- Suga's proposal made me 

"Whatever it is, I want it"

"One last question..."- Suga's eyes disapeared completely with his smile- "what's your name?'

"Stefany... But people here find it too difficult, just call me Ssal"

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Well, here I go. First chap of this new fic. Please give it lot's of love <3. I hope to make at least two chapters a week for the first month, so it's going to be busy. XD. Thanks for reading.