JungKook’s mind went between states of blankness to uncontrollable feelings of lightheaded-ness. If he could describe it he would say that he could almost feel the medicine travel through his veins, sedating him from head to toe; from the inside out. His heart palpitated at a calmer speed, and he felt grogginess force his lids to close. But his mind still went back and forth worry and anger as he forced himself to stay awake. He could feel HaYeon staring at him from the corner as she sipped on her soup warily, occasionally trying to feed him. But he could not bring himself to move, or eat, or even think about what he should be doing.

He rested his head on the wall behind him, staring into nothing as he waited for his brother to come back. Sometimes, he would hear a confused sigh coming from the corner she was at as she mumbled to herself on what she should have done. But as usual, she did not expect an answer and neither did JungKook intend to give her one.

By the time his brother stepped through the door behind the rest of his friends who looked equally fatigued, it was past 12am. But JungKook only noticed the swell at the corner of his brother’s thin lips, and the left bony cheek that was tainted with a dark purplish bruise.

His brother avoided him. Instead, he gave him an insincere greet before dashing into the room to change out of his lightly bloodied shirt before his brother could throw a tantrum again.

JungKook wanted to cry at the sight, but nothing was coming out because of the medication he took earlier. He wanted to follow his brother with his eyes, to see what he was up to, to show his disdain and frustration, but none of his muscles in his body were cooperating with him. Instead, he sat still in the exact position, his head still rested against the wall, facing the door, as thick tears fell along with an extremely unnatural feeling of calmness that followed. He knew, seeing how hastily Jin left home earlier as though he was terrified of being late, what the boys had been up to for the past hours. But this unexpected sedation stopped him from his usual emotional outbreak.

TaeHyung stepped out of the room after getting a change of clothes. While waiting for his turn to use the shower, he sat himself next to JungKook where his brother could not see him, finally giving him proper acknowledgment. Shocked, HaYeon sat herself opposite of TaeHyung and resisted the urge to extend a hand and caress his wounds. But seeing him like that frightened her a little. It didn’t use to scare her as much in the past because she thought he had probably just fought with his friends, but as she got closer to them, and stayed at their house, and eventually grew to love the boy before her, she realized it was probably a side of their story she did not want to know. Taking a gulp, she eyed TaeHyung who was lightly fixing JungKook’s messy hair with his fingers and asked him what had happened.

TaeHyung remained silent.

HaYeon, very subtly, observed the silence before shifting a little further away from TaeHyung, before she asked what had been in her heart for the longest time, “TaeHyung… What do you guys work as?” She could not understand what kind of part-time job would leave them with a new scar every day. Well, she kind of knew. She just needed it to be confirmed before she could bring herself to believe any of her assumptions.

TaeHyung looked at her but quickly broke the gaze in guilt. “I work part-time in a clothing shop.” He answered, not fooling HaYeon but he was not lying either. That was just one of his many other jobs.

“Then how did all six of you get hurt like this?” She asked, as though it was not obvious enough that TaeHyung did not wish for her to find out.

For many, many reasons, TaeHyung could feel his face burn from embarrassment at the life he led and how he only managed to survive to this day by hurting others. On some days, he would justify that it was just a job and those that were in debt were the ones truly at fault for not paying back on time; on some days, he would be reminded of how JungKook had to pay for a mistake he did not commit as well and he would feel immense guilt for being in that job; and on this day, as he stared into the eyes of the girl he likes, he, instead, felt extreme embarrassment for not being able to be someone she could be proud of.

“Okay, no,” HaYeon said soon after she asked, as thoughts ran through TaeHyung’s head, his eyes telling her that he did not really want to tell her yet, “don’t answer me. I don’t want to know now.” Then with that, she quickly excused herself and came out with a bottle of cream, offering to apply it on TaeHyung after he had his bath.

Nodding, he agreed and got up to bathe as soon as NamJoon stepped out. As TaeHyung trotted into the washroom wearily, HaYeon pushed all the curiosity she had out of her mind and distracted herself from the reality that she was confronted with.

That’s right, she convinced herself, I don’t want to know about it.

Her finger dabbed lightly over his wounds as he sat still in the living room amidst other boys doing their own things. She could not fathom how he would not even wince in pain even though she knew it would have hurt a lot. His expression was blank, his eyes occasionally twitching as the cream pricked him but that was it. His brows were furrowed as his eyes searched HaYeon.

Then out of the blue, as she leaned in closer to reach his forehead, he grabbed her wrist lightly and pulled her in closer, not minding the looks the rest of the boys were throwing them.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“For?” HaYeon asked, clueless. Slightly intimidated by the intimacy, her hands trembled in his grip. Noticing that, TaeHyung just took the tub of cream out of her hands and let go.

“For this and that,” he answered ambiguously, “just remember that I’m sorry”. They spent a moment looking at each other, but TaeHyung hurriedly broke the gaze again. “Speaking of which, don’t go around anywhere on your own,” he warned out of the blue but kept a small, concerned smile on his face. Then without allowing her a chance to ask anymore, he shooed her off to bed and told her that he would take care of his wounds himself.

Soon after HaYeon entered the room, TaeHyung’s shoulder sank and he gave JungKook a good look. Almost immediately, he knew that JungKook had taken his medicines and he was grateful that at least for the night, he didn’t have to deal with JungKook’s emotions. But when he noticed the tears in JungKook’s eyes, TaeHyung could not help but soften his heart again. As always, he felt immensely sorry towards his brother, and tonight was no exception. As the rest of the boys laid lazily on the floor and drifted off to sleep one by one, TaeHyung gently shifted JungKook’s head to rest on his injured shoulders.

As he felt the weight bearing down, TaeHyung let out a sigh. All the memories from earlier and the words the