“I’m so sorry.” Jaejoong breathed out.

                I turned towards him with a soft smile. His dark eyes sparkled with such sincerity. Our steps matched each other as we walked side by side towards the mountains towards the vegetable farm. The trail we walked on was parallel to a soft quite river. Jaejoong carried both of our baskets easily on his right hand. Before we set out on our vegetable picking journey, we actually had an argument about the baskets. I wanted to carry mine, but he wouldn’t let me. In the end, he won as you can tell.

We got picked, more like forced, to go pick vegetables. My heart has not stopped racing since. I wiped my nervous sweat on my hand on my jeans. Damn it, I can’t believe I am like this around him. On top of that, the camera crew follows us everywhere. How am I supposed to talk to him about Yunho and Changmin? Better yet, how do I even start a conversation like that?

“Don’t apologize.” I let out waving my hands at him. “Are they always like that?”

“You have no idea. Suzy and Woobin are the only sane ones besides me.” He chuckled. I watched with a smile as he ran his hand through his dark red hair. Man, he is so good looking. Now I can see why he has a lot of fan girls. I can hear the camera crew follow behind us as we walked. The evening sky shined above us heating our skins preparing us for a cold night. “Are your hands better?”

“Huh?” I said confused from being pulled out of my thoughts. He smiled at me as he lifted his hand pointing to my bandaged hands. The bandage covered the small scratches that the gravel caused on my palms. It should be fine by tomorrow morning as long as I keep the bandage on. “Oh yeah, No my hands are fine. I still can’t believe I fell out of my car.” I let out a laugh.

After my grand amazing entrance this morning, we got lost on the way to the house. Curtesy of me, I told them not to give me the damn map. But they did and we went in circles for what seemed like hours. The whole time the damn producers quietly laughed at me with the cast. I glared at them every chance I got. Well, with Jaejoong’s help we were able to find the old couple’s home that we will be staying at.

After 30 minutes of walking around aimlessly.

 The cast kept teasing Jaejoong and me all day. They told us we would look cute together. Even went as far as saying that we would be like Romeo and Juliet because of my company.  I was slowly getting annoyed by the teasing I had to endure all day. They even went as far as to force Jaejoong and I together during the games. Though we did win with an ‘all kill’ because of my fierce competiveness.

Jackson, Daesung, and Yoo Jaesuk fawned over our ‘forbidden love’. It didn’t help we would both blushed at their comments refusing to look at each other. Which by the way, made it more awkward for us to be together. We converse like we are now, but there is like a heavy tension in the air. I hate it because it makes it harder for me to talk to him later. Not to mention the damn nerves I get around him.

 Man, what is it about this man that makes me so ugh.  

                “Me to. You just hanged upside down with your feet caught on the seatbelt.” Jaejoong laughed. “Then you spat all over Jaesuk hyung. And you got us lost for 30 minutes. I still remember how frustrated you were with the map. They are going to have to edit all your cursing out.”

                I gasped in fake annoyance as I punched his arm playfully. I guess I hit him too hard because he lost balance. I watched in shock as Jaejoong tumbled down into the river we walked next to. A loud splash echoed followed by a groan. I let out an unladylike snort at the sight. He was completely soaked from head to toe. He sat in the water leaning back on his arms glaring at me like a child. His shirt clung tightly to his chest like a second skin. You can see every muscle definition and count the abs he had. I took a few minutes to just stare at him lost in my own fantasies. Damn, the things I would…I shook my head. I need to stop this.

I jumped down towards the soaked man in order to help him up.

“I didn’t even hit you that hard.” I simply let out. I stuck my hand towards him to help him up. Jaejoong looked at my hand then back up at my face. A mischievous smirk spread across his face. I looked at him confused. Why is he smiling like that? Before I even realized what was going on Jaejoong grabbed my arm tightly. He pulled me down next to him making let out a small yelp in shock. I landed on my handed and knees next to him in the water. The water was lukewarm and clear. I can see my fingers digging into the dirt of the river bed. I snapped my head up glaring at the now laughing man. My jeans were soaked and clinging uncomfortably to my skin. The front of my tank top soaked and my face slightly wet due to the splash I caused when I went down. “I’m so getting you back for this.” I growled at him.

I can hear the staff that is with us let out a gasp in shock. They whispered to each other to get us towels and to stop recording.

 Jaejoong just let out another loud dorky laugh. I glared at him pissed that I am wet now. I went to stand up turning abruptly towards the grass. I stepped forward getting ready to stomp out, but I just ended up slipping on a rock. And with another yell I fell backwards in the deep end of the river. That only made Jaejoong laugh harder.

“Damn it.” I cursed. Sitting up in the water I rubbed my now sore . I am going to have a bruise there in the morning. The river water stopped at my chin as the current attempted to push me down. I can feel my straight hair cling to my face as it curled. “Are you going to help me or not?” I yelled at the still laughing man a few feet away from me.

“I’m sorry.” Jaejoong breathed out. He held his hand out towards me. “Are you always this clumsy?” He let out as he grasped my arm pulling me up easily. My body was pulled up rather fast from the water. I felt the cool liquid tickling my skin as it slowed back down to the water. The wind blew against my body causing goosebumps to rise on my skin. I felt a small rock move violently under my weight making me slip again. Here we go again. I let out a yelp as I felt my body go backwards. Damn it, why am I so clumsy today. “Watch out.” Jaejoong let out wrapping his other arm securely around my waist pulling me up. “I guess this answers my question.”

“I’m not normally like this.”

“Could have fooled me.”

My body molded against his as if it belonged there. A burning fire erupted everywhere I felt his touch. I had placed my other hand on his soaked chest to help me balance myself again. I can fell his muscles tense under his shirt as he stared down at me. I looked up at him now realizing how close we were. My heart picked up as my breath caught up in my throat. I felt his heart speed up under my fingertips. His dark eyes stared into mine. The dark brown depths felt almost hypnotizing making me want to go closer to study every small speck.  

If I stand on my tippy toes and lean a little more forward then I would be able to kiss him. I glanced at his full pink lips. They were moist and inviting. Curiosity, filled me as I wondered how they tasted.  My original intention for coming on this show was long forgotten. I looked back up into Jaejoong’s eyes to see him glance at my lips then back up at my eyes. His eyes seemed to have darkened. I strong force seemed to have pulled me, forcing me to lean up towards him. My mouth opened slightly while I glanced at his lips again. He is leaning towards me ever so slowly.  

“hum hum.” I heard someone cleared their throat next to us.

Jaejoong and I immediately snapped out of our daze jumping apart. The producer and two of the writer’s that came with us stood behind Jaejoong on the grass. They gave us with a knowing look with what looked like pity in their dark eyes. The two writer’s quickly handed us towels and told us to quickly dry ourselves. Jaejoong wrapped his towel around his shoulders and got out of the water. He turned to help me out of the water, but I refused. I felt my senses regaining control of my consciousness. Jaejoong let out a sigh and walked away with the writers.  

What the hell was all that? I stepped on the soft grass with a scowl on my face. I processed everything that just happened.

We flirted?

No?

Did we just almost kiss?

No? Can’t be? None of that happened?

I let out a groan running my hand through my short curly hair. Jon is going to kill me a thousand times over.  What the hell was I thinking?

That’s the thing. I wasn’t.

I am here for Yunho and Changmin. I am here to reunite him with Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun. I can’t forget that. I looked up at Jaejoong to see him looking at me with a worried expression as he slowly dried himself. The male writer next to him held up dry cloths towards him. Why does he make me feel…feel so confused? I came here for a reason and when I look at him I forget all about it. Even though the reason is about him.

“Ami? Are you listening to me?” I heard producer Ann ask. Her voice pulled me out of my confusing thoughts. I turned towards her focusing all my attention. Her brown eyes narrowed at me seeing if I showed any signs that I heard her. With a sigh, she wrapped the towel around my shoulders then placed another smaller towel on my hair. “You really made a mess. It was funny, but we have to edit a lot of parts out.” She breathed out.

I stood still feeling guilty as I felt her hands expertly dry my hair with the towel. I know how hard it is on producers to edit stuff. Jaejoong and I basically made them stop and run behind schedule. Now I feel like a . I probably looked like a small child to her as I stared down at the ground in guilt.

“Sorry.” I let out in a whisper. I bowed to her showing her how sorry I was. “I’m sorry, Unnie.”

“Get up.” Ann hissed. She pulled away from me with the small towel on her hand. My loose curls came down softly framing my face. The strands felt damp as it tickled my skin. I got up slowly looking at producer Ann with confusion. She smiled softly at me. “You don’t need to say you’re sorry. Granted we were worried about you and Jaejoong at first when you two fell in, but you guys made us laugh. I am glad you guys are ok. Seems to be no damage done.” She looked down at my bandaged hands. I followed her gaze. “We should replace the bandages just in case.”

“Yeah, they feel a little soggy.”

“You know, you two were so awkward all day together because of all the teasing. It seems like you loosened up and I’m glad.”  She motioned for me to follow her as she made her way back to the camera crew, who was busy helping the staff get us ready again to shoot.  Once we reached them some of the staff rushed to me leading me to a tall closed off white tent. They put this up just now. Damn. Ann walked behind me entering the tent with us. I slowly changed into dry cloths that were the same as the ones I had on. After I put them I removed the bandages on my hands. I stared at my palms to see all the small scratches it held. The stylist worked on cleaning my palms then rebandaging my hands. She then focused on my face while Ann continued to talk.  “I don’t know how to explain it, but when we saw you and Jaejoong in the water I felt something. You guys have such strong chemistry once you loosened up. I couldn’t help, but ship you two together as I looked at you. Too bad we can’t show any of that on tv.”

“Me to.” The stylist let out as she did my makeup. I looked at her in confusion to which she glared. I closed my eyes back letting her put the finishing touches on my eyes. “I saw a lot of chemistry between you two from the very beginning. It was like you two were in a trance when you looked at each other.”

I quickly shook my head at them. Opening my eyes I stared at the stylist, who just finished.

“It can’t and won’t happen so get it out of your head. Like Ann unnie said. It will never be shown.” I breathed out. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused all of you.”

“I told you not to apologize.” Ann scolded. “We need to straighten your hair. Your manager told us that no one can know you have curly hair or tattoos. The tattoo makeup looks smeared. I can see part of your back tattoo through your tank top.”

I shook my head at her. Grabbing two hair ties from the stylist, I tied my hair in two small low pig tails. A couple strands of curls were out because they were too short to reach the hair ties. I made up my mind before I came on the show that I won’t be fake anymore. I will not hide myself because of my image. I looked at myself in the mirror. The makeup on my face was natural and light. My hair looked kinda messy, but cute. I turned my head to the right. I focused my eyes on my reflection to see my music note tattoo behind my ear. The dark tattoo was partly covered by the smeared make up. Grabbed a tissue from the stylist, I lifted my hand using the tissue to wipe the rest of the makeup off.

“Ami? Are you sure? Your company?” Ann let out in panic.

“Doesn’t control me. You saw how I was today when we were playing tug of war on the hayfield. Do you really think I care about my image?”

 “You’re right. You tackled Jackson and Daesung down at the same time because they got in your way. I don’t think if you cared about your image you would have done that.” Ann laughed.

I slipped on a blue sweater that the stylist handed me in order to keep me warm. The fabric felt soft and warm. I thanked the stylist for her hard work and apologized again for the trouble I caused her. With a quick change of shoes, I was ready to go. I was completely dry and ready to shoot again.

Ann looked at me with a wide smile and motioned for us to go.

“Let’s get back to work.” Ann breathed out. I followed her outside tucking my hands in the pockets of the sweater. The wind blew now getting colder. The staff looked at us, Ann gave them the signal to start recording soon. She followed me up to the now dry Jaejoong. He stood in front of the cameras holding both baskets in his hand. When his eyes landed on me he smiled widely. My heart jumped. Damn it, Sam. Don’t let him get to you. “Okay, you two. No more pushing each other into the water.” Ann let out scolding us. Jaejoong and I immediately apologized bowing to her and the crew. They just waved off our apology telling us it was ok with a smile on their faces. “Okay, when I get behind the cameras we are going to start recording again. Make your way towards getting the vegetables and then head back.  Oh and try not to look so awkward together. You two have chemistry between you. Take advantage of that. I want more of what we saw in the river. Except without getting wet please.”

And with that, Ann walked behind the cameras. One of the cameramen held their hand up. With his fingers, he counted down from 3. Jaejoong and I looked at each other. Then back at the camera to see the red light signifying they were recording.

I let out a breath easing any of the nerves I felt around this beautiful man. He is just a man. Just treat him like you treat Yunho and Changmin. It’s not that hard. He is really easy going and easy to get along with. Just ignore the butterflies and the nerves and focus on being his friend only, Sam.

 It is time I get back to the mission at hand.

The rest of the evening passed in a flash. Jaejoong and I made small talk getting to know each other as we picked vegetables. I found myself forgetting about everything around Jaejoong. My nerves were long forgotten as I treated him like a long lost friend. We joked around, laughed, and even danced weirdly as we picked vegetables. I remember the way Ann held up a thumbs from behind the camera towards us. Telling us that we were doing a good job.

Once Jaejoong and I reached back to the home, we were immediately teased by the rest of the cast that was there. They wondered what happened to my hair and asked about my tattoo behind my ear. They laughed as we told them we fell into the river. To which, Jackson commented that we ‘literally fell for each other’. It was a corny joke, but it actually made us laugh.

I spent the next few hours after that with the cast. We made small conversation as we ate the amazing home cooked meal we cooked together. I told them about my tattoos letting them know how I got them. They laughed as I told them about my eccentric mother. Then the question finally came.

Why was a Sm artist on the show when Jaejoong was on the show?

Poor Jackson got hit in the back of the head for asking that question. I still remember how quiet the table. You could hear the creatures of the night singing their songs. Everyone stared at me all wondering the same thing.

“Why not?” I answered them. “What happened has happened. There is no use in relieving the past. I think it’s stupid to hold grudges and frankly childish. I actually demanded to be on the show. I was a huge fan of family outing when I was younger. I wasn’t gonna let a stupid feud hold me back from coming on the show.”

They accepted my response laughing saying I reminded them of Heechul.

Now it was super late. I was laying in the 2^nd place spot for the woman. Lim Kim was 1^st while Suzy was 3^rd place. We played a dancing game deciding the sleeping spots in which Lim Kim won. That chick has some moves on her even Suzy was surprised.

I lay between the sleeping girls. I am wide awake. Just staring up at the wooden ceiling not feeling an ounce of exhaustion despite all that I did today. I can hear the soft snores of everyone else echoing throughout the dark room. The cold night air was seeping into the room. I let out a sigh sitting up and grabbing my phone from my bag behind my pillow. Might as well go outside and check my phone. I had it in my bag the whole day knowing how pissed Ran is going to be when she found out where I am.

Man, I’m hungry.  I could use some ramen right now.

Keeping a tight grip on my phone. I slowly and silently got up. The blanket fell off my body landing at my feet in the ground. My eyes looked through the darkness making sure everyone was asleep. I can see the men on the other side scattered about basically hitting each other unconsciously with their limps. I shook my head as a smile graced my lips. Men.

I took tentative steps out the room. Keeping quiet so I don’t wake them. The wooden door let out loud creaking sounds as I opened it slowly. I cursed under my breath then glanced behind me at everyone to see them still snoring away in their dreams. Cold wind gusted in telling me to not come outside. Thankfully I am wearing my oversized hoodie and sweatpants. The fuzzy socks I had on kept my feet warm. I got to remember to thank Suzy for letting me use them.

I slipped out the door, softly closing it behind me.

I stepped on the wooden patio type walk way looking out into the yard. This old style home is so beautiful. In fact, this town is so beautiful. I hugged my arms around my body in hopes to keep me warmer as I sat on the edge of the patio with my feet crossed under me. Leaning my head on the wooden column next to me, I looked up at the night sky. I took in the amazing sight of the full moon with the bright stars scattered around. Some of the stars were brighter than others. I can hear the rustling of the trees as the wind blew.

“Might as well see what Ran sent me.” I breathed out lifting up my phone. I the screen with ease unlocking my phone. I can see all 20 missed calls and voicemails left by Ran. I rolled my eyes. Should I hear them? Nah, she will just annoy me. I continued to scroll through my notifications seeing the beginning of all the text messages she sent. Most of them yelling in all caps at me and telling me that I am dead when she sees me. To call her back. Blah. Blah. Blah. Like that will scare me. I continued to scroll. All my notifications are from Ran even some from Soonie and Mimi warning me how mad Ran is. “She can’t do anything.” I mumbled.

 I continued to scroll on my phone with a bored expression. Ran. Ran. Ran. Mimi. Soonie. Mimi. Mom. I let out a gasp as I saw the last few calls in the past hour was from my mom. , now that is one person that I am scared of. With a groan, I quickly called her back pressing the phone to my ear.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

“About time you call me! What you don’t have time for your mother anymore now that you are a big superstar.” My mother answered. What? No, hello dear daughter how are you? I let out a deep sigh. “Did you just sigh? Am I bothering you? Oh I am soooo sorry!”

“No, Omma. You aren’t bothering me. Sorry I didn’t call sooner.” I quickly apologized. I could hear her let out an unladylike snort through the line. I rolled my eyes. I let my gaze fall on the beautiful scenery in front of me. “What are you doing up at this time, it’s late.”

“Oh I’m sorry. Am I up past my bed time? I should be asking you, what you are doing up this late.”

“I couldn’t sleep.” I answered. I ran a hand through my hair pushing some of the curls back. “I miss you.”

“Well, I don’t.” She quickly answered. I shook my head smiling to myself. My mother everyone. “When are you visiting me?”

“Probably not for another couple months. We are getting ready for a comeback. I am booked for variety shows. I am actually on one now.”

“Which one?”

“Family outing.”

Silence.

“Ahahahaha!” She let out a loud laugh making me flinch in surprise. I scowled as she seemed to be dying of laughter. “Honey! Honey! Hear this. Your daughter. Hahahaha. Your daughter. Is on Family Outing.” Next thing I know, I hear my father’s deep booming laughter in the background matching my mothers. “Can you imagine her outside? Doing any kind of farm work? Hahahaha. I can’t breathe.”

“It’s not funny.” I growled annoyed by how hard my parents were laughing.

“Of course not, Sammy.” My mother breathed out using the nickname her and my dad call me. “Oh man, I got tears in my eyes. Don’t take it to heart, sweetie. It’s just hard to imagine you doing any kind of outside work when you are so clumsy.”

“I’m not clumsy.” I tried to defend myself.

“Right? So the only reason you fall down is because you feel like the ground needs some company.” She let out sarcastically making my father let out another booming laugh. “Honey, you are laughing too hard. Calm down. The neighbors are going to think I have a pet hyena.” Dad immediately stopped laughing in order to whine to my mom that she was being mean. “Get over it. So Sammy will I be seeing you hard at work when the episode airs?”

“Uhhhh.” I let out as I thought back to day. All the times I fell, cursed, and full out embarrassed myself.   “Sure. Yup, I did you proud.” I lied adding a light chuckle in the end.

“Am I going to laugh my off when I see it?”

“Yeah.”

“Honey, remind to put the Family Outing episode on record.” She yelled at my dad. I let out a groan as I shook my head. She is going to add this episode to the pile of stuff to make fun of me with. Again, my mother everyone. “Well, we just called to see how you were. Remind you that you have parents still. So don’t forget to call us every now and then.”

“I know. I’m sorry I haven’t called often.” My chest clenched painfully as tears threatened to come out. It’s been so long since I’ve seen my dorky parents. I miss them a lot.

“It’s alright. Don’t work too hard, sweetie. We miss you and we love you.”

“I love you guys too.” I answered. “Tell dad I said hi and I miss him.”

“I will.” My mom answered. Her voice was soft and caring. “And you let me know if anyone bothers you up there. I will go down there and kick all their asses even if it is the company.” She threatened. My father echoed his agreement to her statement in the background. I let out a giggle. “Take care of yourself, Sammy. We love you.”

“Love you to, mom.” I whispered.

A tear escaped my eyes as I hanged up. I stared at the lit up phone now on my home screen. The picture in the background was of me and Mom with bright smiles. Our faces were covered in mud, the reason for that was my father. He was standing behind us laughing really hard. I sniffed loudly as silent tears came down my eyes. It’s been almost 2 years since I have last seen them.  

“Was that your parents?” I heard a voice let out softly behind me. I let out a gasp jumping up slightly dropping my phone to the ground. That scared the out of me I thought I was alone out here. I turned my heard to yell at the idiot who scared me. But I couldn’t say anything as I saw who it was. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“N-no.” I stuttered out as I watched him with wide eyes. I quickly cleared my throat. “No, you didn’t scare me.” Turning my head away from him, I bent down picking up my phone from the ground. As I bent back up, I watched him from the corner of my eye. I internally freaked out as I saw him sit down next to me just a few inches away from me. I held on to my phone tightly tucking it into my hoodie’s pocket. I turned my head towards Jaejoong giving him my attention. “Was I too loud?”