“You don’t care about anyone but yourself!” Her voice seemed to echo in loud vibrations.

I stared up at her back. A red outfit similar to a previous stage outfit fitted against her body. I was shaking furiously with my arms crossed over my chest.

This isn’t real. This can’t be real.

She faced a blurry white door that seemed to glow with a soft hue. The rest of her surroundings, my surroundings, are pitch black. My chest clenched in pain as I watch her hand lift ever so slowly. Her delicate porcelain hand touched the doorknob of the glowing door. Without permission, tears started to drip one by one down my eyes. I watched her turn her head slightly towards me. A sad smile etched on her face.

No. Ran please, don’t do this.

A strong hole of abandonment started to generate in my heart. The ability to actually speak out loud forgotten for the moment.

“But don’t worry, no one will know the tension in this group, or the fact you ruined any form of friendship with us. I will pretend as if nothing has happened.” She breathed out sadly.

What! No! My heart started racing in fear. I let out a choked sob. That’s not what I want. That is not what I want at all. Forcing my body towards her, I begged her to stop. To take her words back.

To forgive me.

“Please, Ran! I promise. I will change. I will be better.” I reached out to touch her, but she along with the white door simply vanished.

Leaving me to grab the air.

“I’m done with you.” Her words hung in the darkness echoing.

I let out a sob as I kept apologizing. My hands still outstretched to where she disappeared.

“Stop! Just stop!” Mimi’s sobbing figure screeched as she appeared next to me. I turned to look at her. My breaths turning into short fast pants/ hiccups as more tears streamed down my eyes. “…I try so hard to keep our group together…but what’s the point when one of us doesn’t even care.”

“No. That’s not true. I care. I care!” I sobbed out trying to follow her disappearing figure.

But I was too late.

The air around me grew colder as the tears just couldn’t stop from flowing.

“What are you doing?” Soonie hissed appeared where Mimi was. She was sitting cross legged on the ground with a script on her hand. She stared at me with rage. “You can’t just pretend that nothing happened. You can’t just pretend that we are best friends when we are not….but you thought wrong. I didn’t ruin this, Sam. You did……Stop arguing with me!” Soonie yelled. She slammed her script against the ground making it disappear in the darkness. Her brown eyes stared at me furiously. “We are not being dramatic! When will you just grow up! You can't solve all your problems by yelling through them!” Tears gathered in her eyes then slowly flowed down her cheeks. “You can’t fix this. You can never fix this.”

“I can.” I let out falling to my knees on the ground. I let out a loud sniff as I let myself give her a pathetic smile. “I can fix this, Soonie. I can. Don’t leave me. Please. The dorm is so dark and quiet. I feel like I’m suffocating just being inside. I can’t…”

I reached to grab her hands, but she simply snatched them away from me. She gave me an ‘are you crazy’ look. With a scoff, she got up from the ground towering over me.

“You can’t fix this. It will all just get worse.” Her voice faded out along with her body leaving me on the ground in the darkness.

A bright light appeared on the ground in my line of vision. The bright light revealed to be a contract. I wept on the ground as I stared at the paper with so much regret. My signature clearly done over the line at the bottom. The lines of the different of the pen were so indented in that it looked like deep trenches. Trenches with the horrid stench of death.

“You’re my .” Medusa’s voice taunted. I let out a hiss as excruciating pain surrounded my right arm. “And I can do whatever I want to my .” I felt something brush against my right ear making me freeze in fear. My eyes wide with horror as I stared ahead into the darkness perfectly still. Ran, Mimi, and Soonie appeared in front of me. They seemed to be laughing about something as they talked happily. They were smiling happily as if someone gave them the world. Medusa let out a dark chuckle next to my ear. “I will enjoy destroying them in front of you then leaving you with nothing.”

“No.” I breathed out. My bottom lip quivering uncontrollably. The girls in front of me immediately stopped laughing. Their faces turning serious as a gloomy atmosphere surrounded them. Tears dripped down their eyes as they dropped to the ground. Their lavish idol clothing gone replaced with normal looking cloths. Their eyes lifelessly swirling with depression. “Please. They aren’t a part of this. Leave them out of this!”

Medusa’s dark laughter surrounded me. She continued to taunt me in the darkness as if it was her favorite sport. She enjoyed every minute of seeing me broken in tears on the ground. Begging her to stop. To leave my groupmates out of this.

Ran, Soonie, and Mimi disappeared in front of me leaving with a clear ‘it’s your fault’ message.

I cried on the ground as echoes of curses from fans accompanied Medusa’s laughter. Computer screens appeared one by one in the darkness. Comments of hate and threats to my life filled each screen as loud messenger like dings resonated with the loud voices.

The burning desire to fight back was slowly diminishing within each second.

I feel exhausted. I just want them to stop. I don’t want to hear them anymore. I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want any of it.

I bent down my forehead touching the freezing ground as my hands tried to claw my own ears off. I screamed out in pain hoping someone will hear me. Someone will come and save me.

Then all at once it all stopped.

“Yeah, She is still sleeping.” Jae? “The fever seems to be gone…..Yeah, I know. I already did that, I’m not an idiot!” Why can’t I see him? My eyes. They feel like they are glued shut. I can’t move my body. Why can’t I move? What the is going on? “Don’t worry, I will have her there in time. I’m letting her rest a little bit more….Oh, don’t be a prick.…No! Of course, it was the right choice to leave her with me!”

Who the hell is he talking to?

“Yah!” I can hear Jaejoong let out a couple breaths in order to calm down. “And you wonder why she calls you a ‘useless waste of a human being’...Oi, I never said I called you that. Argh, never mind.”

My left hand started to twitch as a tingling sensation covered my body. My senses became more alert as my body slowly started to wake up. I snapped my eyes open. Staring up at the bright ceiling with slightly wide eyes. The ceiling fan turning slowly providing a soft breeze in the room. I feel like I spent the last hour running away from a truck that only caught up with me to run me over about a hundred times.

That nightmare really took a lot out of me. It didn’t even seem like a nightmare. It seemed like different memories torturing me. A depressed sigh escaped my lips, I feel like they destroyed me. They broke me. I’m pathetic. I shook my head softly as if to dispel all the negative thoughts of self-hatred in my head. I am too weak to think about this now.

I am starving. Then as if on cue my stomach let out a soft vibration.

“Listen I will have her at the photoshoot on time don’t worry” Jaejoong’s smooth velvet voice spoke bringing me out of my thoughts about different foods. “I’m not an idiot, why would I do that!......I know no one can know about us!”

Lifting my right hand, I rubbed my forehead letting out a soft moan. Ew, why the am I so sticky? Was I sweating the whole time I was asleep? Why do I feel like I was thrown around in a washing machine? I weakly sat up on the bed. I inspected my surroundings. I’m in his room again. On his bed. Oh God, I sweated all over his silk sheets and expensive quilt. I am such an idiot. Why was I even sweating so much in the first place? I feel so gross.

Do I stink? Lifting up my right arm, I sniffed my armpit. The smell of humid lavender and sweat filled my nose making me flinch back. I need a shower. You are so attractive, Sam. Really.

My eyes traced every detail of Jaejoong’s room, taking in if anything has changed since I was last here.

“No, I am going to walk her straight to the photoshoot hand in hand.” Jaejoong’s voice let out with heavy sarcasm.

Why are there so many medicine bottles and towels in his room? It looks like a tornado went through here. I turned my head towards his open room door. I can’t see him. He must be in the kitchen. I can practically hear him pace a hole on the ground.

“Yes, I’m joking…….Yah! Don’t forget who is older!..If I remember correctly you quit being her manager. You abandoned her to deal….You’re not doing a very good job.” Jaejoong continued to argue.

I should get up, if I stay here I will go back to sleep. I pushed the heavy sheets away from my body. I’m still wearing these damn cloths from yesterday. Ugh, I hate sleeping with a bra on. I’m surprised I didn’t take it off in my sleep. I scratched my head in confusion.

What happened last night? The last thing I remember is Jaejoong carrying me telling me to go back to sleep. I still can’t believe he came out of nowhere. I mean how did he know where to find me? How did he know I needed him? Hell, he kidnapped him. What about Medusa? She is probably at the President’s office now making sure to destroy my life. Didn’t she say yesterday that I had today booked? And I am missing it. Damn it, what time is it?

I let out a gasp as a big realization punched me in the face. Jon knows! I let out a loud curse under my breath making the man in the other room quiet. I looked down at my fisted hands on my lap in anger. How does he know? I thought we were careful. We haven’t even seen each other in two weeks!

Millions of questions ran through my head.

“Sam?” Jaejoong’s voice let out in concern. I snapped my head up towards his voice to see him standing at the end of the bed. His face aged with worry. “You feeling better?” I stayed silent as I stared at the man in front of me with disbelief. I haven’t seen him in 2 weeks. I honestly thought deep down that I would never be able to see him because of that , Medusa. But, here he is standing at the foot of the bed staring at me as if I would bolt to the bathroom to spill my guts in the toilet. I studied his face in silence. He looks just as tired as I feel. Dark circles under his eyes and slightly puffy. His hair is no longer a dark red, now it is blonde and a complete mess on top of his head. He had on black sweatpants and a grey loose long sleeved shirt. “Sam?”

“Jae?” I croaked out. Ugh, my throat feels so dry and nasty. I tried to clear it, but it only made it worse making me let out a loud cough. Jaejoong was instantly at my side. He patted my back softly as he handed me a water bottle. I silently thanked him as I downed the entire bottle. “Why do I feel like ?”

“You were fighting a fever while you were sleeping.” Jae breathed out. He grabbed the now empty bottle from my hand, placing it on the nightstand next to the bed. I watched him as he sat on the bed next to my legs. His body leaning towards me. “I took care of you all night. You scared the out of me. When I found you on the ground passed out…” He shook his head as if to dispel any bad thoughts. He pressed a cold hand softly against my forehead. I flinched back slightly. A small pout went to my lips as I stared at him. He just put his hand on my sweaty stinky forehead. “You’re still a little warm. But I think your fever is completely gone.”

“What time is it?”

“Around 2 p.m.”

I let out a soft hum in response. My eyes then trained on the mess in his room.

“Were you on the phone?” I asked.

Jaejoong let out a loud sigh as he rubbed his forehead with his hand in stress.

“Yeah. Your old manager, Jon, is a very frustrating man.”

“Who you telling.” I snorted rolling my eyes. Jae let out a soft chuckle in response. His hand from his forehead dropped down in order to grab my hand softly. I looked at Jae with worry as millions of questions ran through my mind. “How does he know?” I breathed out.

“I don’t know,” Jae answered with shrug. “Yesterday, he just called me telling me that you were in trouble. That I needed to come to you and pick you up. When I got there he didn’t tell me much. Just that you passed out on the hallway ground. He told me that he will trust me with you. Then he threatened me rather gruesomely if I did anything to you or hurt you in any way.”

He threatened him? I stared at Jaejoong in silence. Completely stunned at what he told me. Come on, this is Jon.

Jon!

Well, yesterday when I saw him he was different than normal. He said he was gonna fix this?! Is this his way of making it all up to me? But that doesn’t answer the question on how did he know. Or the other thousands of questions running through my mind. One conclusion is very clear though, Jon is dying.

“He threatened you?” I questioned looking at Jae in disbelief.

“I rather not repeat what he said.” Jaejoong paled at the thought. What the Fu- “Well, I promised him that I will have you at our meeting spot in 2 hours. So..”

“Meeting spot?”

“Yeah. Just some parking garage a few miles away from your photoshoot. Jon will pick you up and act like you were with him the whole time.”

“What about Medusa?”

“It is really not nice to call her that.” Jae sighed giving me a look. “Jon didn’t say much. Just scolded and threatened me this morning like a jackass.” I nodded taking in his explanation. I guess I have to grill Jon when I see him. “Now go shower.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.” I remarked with a pout. Jae just gave me a look. “What!”

“Really? Gonna start being childish?”

“I never stopped,” I retorted.

“That’s true,” Jae chuckled. He leaned towards me puckering his lips for a kiss. His eyes fluttering closed. My eyes widen in panic. I can’t get him sick. Lifting my hand, I stopped him from leaning even closer to me. Jae opened his eyes in confusion once his forehead made contact with my finger. "What are you doing?”

“Stopping you.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to get you sick.”

“I’m willing to risk it.” He breathed out moving my hand out of the way to close the distance between us.

“Well, I’m not,” I stated. I wiggled my way out of his grip. I slipped away from him easily and was now standing next to the bed. Jaejoong opened his mouth to object. “No means no, Jae.”

“Come on, I haven’t seen you in what feels like months.” Jae breathed out standing up in front of me. He slipped his hands around my waist bringing me closer to him. “Just one kiss that’s it.”

I leaned back on his hold, looking up at him with a smile.

“Look who’s being childish now,” I mocked.

Jae gave me a smirk as his eyes twinkled with joy. He then leaned down towards me again. Before he can close the distance between us, I quickly turned my head letting his soft lips come in contact with my cheek. I smiled as I felt him pull away with a frustrated groan.

“What now?” He hissed.

“I have morning breath.”

“I didn’t bother you when we were talking.”

“Well, it does now.”

“You’re being annoying.”

I pulled away from his grip with a smile.

" and you are being needy. Now if you’ll excuse me. I have to take over your bathroom.” I sang as I practically ran to his bathroom.

I let out a soft giggle under my breath as I heard Jaejoong growl out a string of curses as he marched away. Once I felt he was no longer in the room, I began to get ready for the day.

After the nice warm shower and a quick brush of my teeth; I put on the same pair of underwear, the same shorts and bra, and one of Jae’s graphic v-neck shirts. I feel so gross wearing the same cloths, but at least I got a shower and a new shirt. The shirt is a little big on me and long, but I don’t care. It’s comfy and it even smells like Jae. A soft yet manly cologne.

“I need coffee.” I groaned entering Jae’s kitchen.

The smell of chicken noodle soup filled my nose. Chicken noodle soup? I made my way to the coffee maker, putting in a k-cup and a mug underneath. When did Jaejoong learn how to make chicken noodle? It smells good too. Once my coffee was ready I put the appropriate amount of sugar then turned around towards the stove.

“Thank you.” Jaejoong let out grabbing my coffee out of my hand. I let out a small yell in protest as I went to take back my coffee. Jae simply gave me a stern look as he handed me another mug filled with hot tea. “You were sick, so tea.”

“But I want coffee.”

“And I want my own island.”

“You could have your own island, you’re rich enough.”

“Oh, but you still can’t have coffee.”

“Buttface.” I growled in annoyance.

“You don’t mean that.” Jae breathed out. He took a sip from MY coffee then bent his head down to place a quick peck to my cheek. “Thanks for the coffee. Next time, a little less sugar.”

My eyes narrowed at him in annoyance making him let out a chuckle. He then turned back to the stove. I watched begruntedly sipping my tea as Jae turned off the stove. The annoyance of the coffee situation slowly slipping away as I watched him serve me soup. The affection he put into his movements touched my heart. No one besides my parents has ever done this for me. Jae walked to the dining table carefully placing the glass plate on the surface. He put a spoon over a napkin on the side then quickly grabbed pills from the kitchen counter.

“Eat.” He said pointing to the soup. I stared at him still in my dazed state of admiring him. How is he so handsome? He is seriously the whole damn package. Why is he wasting his time with me? I’m a . “Sam?....Are you falling in love with me?” He teased with a smirk.

“You wish.” I breathed out snapping out of my daze. Jae let out a chuckle as I grabbed the pills out of his hand and made my way to the dining table. “Where did you learn how to make chicken noodle soup?”

“Internet.” He replied. He sat next to me watching my every move as I used the spoon to try a little bit. Right when the warm liquid touched my tongue an explosion of flavor filled my mouth. My body seemed to heat up with the soup as sense of nostalgia for home surrounded me. I found myself smiling softly. “How is it?”

“Good.” I let out softly. My cheeks burning in embarrassment at all the affection tasted in the soup. “You didn’t have to make me soup.”

“I wanted to. I like taking care of you. You are lot easier to deal with when you’re sick. I almost missed your temper and cursing.”

“Shut up.”

I continued to eat my soup while Jae drank the coffee. He watched me like a creep making sure I ate all the soup and took the pills, it was cold medicine. We made conversation the whole time catching up on missed time. He asked me about everything that happened in the past 2 weeks to which I answered that I didn’t keep my promise. Jaejoong listened attentively as I told him that I fought back with Medusa and made my situation worse. I am now in a bad situation that I can’t get out of. I tried to be strong as I told him everything, but I couldn’t. It was like my body refused to hide anything from him.

Jaejoong hugged me and wiped my tears when I cried about my worries about my group members and how that I have been too busy to do anything even sleep. He told me everything is gonna be ok as I broke down in his arms. I just exploded on him everything without holding back. Medusa, the hateful fans, my group members. I felt so broken as I clung to him like a child.

“Better?” Jaejoong breathed out pulling away from me once my cries died down.

His right hand still rubbing my back softly. His brown eyes stared at me with so much worry and care. I nodded my head softly then looked down. Our knees touching as both of our chairs faced each other.

“You must think I’m so pathetic. Crying about all this when I am supposed to be strong.” I let out disgusted at myself. Jaejoong shook his head bringing me into another hug. His embrace so soft and warm. He used to always be so cold, but this time I am the cold one clinging to his warmth. “I feel so weak because of everything. I don’t have control and it is destroying me. Damn it, I passed out in a hallway causing myself to have a fever because I held everything in. I can’t fight back anymore. I’m so tired.”

“You aren’t fighting back alone.” Jaejoong replied. I pulled away from him again to stare at him. “Jon, the dimwit, he is on your side. He promised me on the phone that he will do anything to help you. He is going to fight this fight for you.” I let out soft chuckle shaking my head. “What?”

“You called Jon a dimwit.”

“Well he is, babe.”

“We are back to nicknames? I told you babe won’t work. It makes you sound like a douchebag.”

“Angel?”

I shook my head.

“Do I look like an Angel?” I questioned getting up.

Grabbing my empty dishes on the table, I made my way to the kitchen putting them in the sink. Before I can even grab the sponge, Jae hip bumped me out of the way. He smiled as I glared at him. Why does he never let me wash the dishes? It is always like this. It is the least I can do for him cooking. Cause let’s face it, as long as we are together he will always cook. Unless he wants food poisoning with my cooking.

“Look like an Angel? Yes. But act like the Devil.” Jaejoong replied as he started washing all the dishes. “Why don’t you put away the soup in a container so I can wash the pot. If you want to help so bad.”

I smiled at him shaking my head. Idiot. One of these days I am going to wash all the dishes without him interfering. I know he is just being a gentleman and a good host, but honestly. I am not a normal girl. I will pull my weight around here if keep coming here. I turned my head to glance at Jae. I want to come here a lot more, and I have a feeling that I will.

A strong sense of mischief filled me as I started putting away the soup in the storage container that was on the counter. I smirked down at the pot as I thought about something to tell Jae to make him turn back to his school boy embarrassed self. Honestly, his ‘manly taking care of me’ act is starting to freak me out. It making me fall..

“Hey, Jae?”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you think I should have a couple of my own stuff here?”

“Y-you want to ke-keep stuff here?” Jae let out a stutter as he dropped a dish.

“Yeah, you know the usual: underwear, pads, some tampons, my own tooth brush although the one I use is basically mine, soap, and deodorant would be good too. I don’t really need shirts because I really like using yours. They’re long, but they’re comfy. And they smell like you.”

Another dish dropped in the sink followed by a soft curse from Jae. My smirk widens. My plan is working. I can practically feel the heat from his blush from here.

“Just a couple stuff.” I continued to play innocent. Closing the now filled storage container, I grabbed the empty pot and turned towards Jae. His ears are bright red as he washed a mug rather frantically. I quirked an eyebrow at him. Is he thinking erted thoughts? That’s why he is so red? I shook my head with a smile. Oh Jae. “You know what’s weird now thinking about it?”

“W-what?” Jae stuttered out.

He quickly cleared his throat as he tried to regain his composure. Too late, babe. Putting on my best acting pants on, I came up next to him. I placed the empty pot on the counter next to the sick. He glanced quickly at me then snapped his eyes back to the sink.

That mug cannot be that interesting.

“I just find it so weird that I already spent the night here three times. On your bed. Under your sheets. I wear your cloths sometimes.” I innocently spoke. Jaejoong’s eyes widen as he became redder. Adding fuel to the fire, I let go my hands from the pot. I used my left hand to trail my fingers up his spine. Jae immediately stiffened. His hand with the sponge froze in place on top of the mug as the sink water continued to run. “Three times here and we still haven’t had . It doesn’t even have to be on your bed. I always had this fantasy where you just take me roughly against the wall. Even on the kitchen floor.” I whispered the last part against his ear.

Crash!

The mug dropped into the sink shattering into large chunks. I fought the laughter as a flustered Jaejoong frantically cleaned up his mess. His words coming out in stutters and rambles. When he finally got everything cleaned up, he turned off the water, and stuttered out my name a couple of times trying to get a sentence out as he refused to look me in the eyes.

Is he seriously imaging it? Oh god!

I couldn’t hold it anymore. A loud laugh escaped my lips. Jaejoong watched me with a stupified expression and red faced as I leaned on the counter for support. I kept muttering out about what just happened between breaths.

“That was mean.” Jaejoong pouted crossing his arms over his chest. “and messed up.”

1. finally regained my breath, wiping my tears. Jaejoong continued to glare at me. I was panting slightly, but I still managed to give him a smirk.

“So was taking my coffee.” I answered. “I was just teasing you a little, but that was quite the reaction, Jae. Don’t tell me. Do you-“

“We better go. Jon is waiting.” Jaejoong quickly cut me off practically running out the kitchen.

“You didn’t let me finish.” I yelled after him following him. The urge to continue to was strong. Entering the living room, I grabbed my purse off the coffee table. He must have put it there last night. “I honestly want to know. Did you imagine us..”

“Traffic will be bad!” Jaejoong interrupted me again with a loud voice. I stared at him as he immediately turned towards the front door with his keys in hand. His ears were bright red again as he opened the door in panic to get away. “We need to go!”

I let out another laugh following him out. Honestly, what would I do without this man.