After the ‘incident’ in the parking lot, all four of us tiredly sat around the chilly recording room. We chewed happily on the food Jaejoong bought. Which was Ramen and steamed buns. The food of the heavens!

What was the ‘incident’?

Well, while Yoochun and Junsu profusely teased Jaejoong, he snapped. Being completely embarrassed and angry, Jaejoong chased Yoochun and Junsu all over the parking lot. They even ran in the building making me grab the food, lock the car, and chase them. After minutes of running around confused, that building is f-ing huge, I finally caught up to them. All three were on the ground groaning in pain. They were cursing at each other under their breaths as they rubbed their heads.

Apparently, the idiots ran each other without realizing it. Junsu and Yoochun went one way and Jaejoong the other to cut them off. Their brakes on their feet didn’t work and Splat.

Major collision.

At least, that’s what they told me when they trudged to the recording room. 

“So we saw the episode of family outing, you guest starred in.” Junsu sang plopping down on the couch next to me. His mouth filled with food. Stopping mid-chew, I looked up at him in shock. They already aired it? Taking my phone out of my back pocket, I stared at the dark screen. My mom didn’t call me to make fun of me. Ran didn’t call to kill me. Jon didn’t panic into oblivion. “It just aired last night. Yoochun and I were bored so we got together and watched it with Jaejoong.”

Ugh! That means I am going to hear it right when I see them. Mom would probably call me later today to make fun of me.

“That’s when we realized Jaejoong’s love sick…” Yoochun piped in, but was quickly cut off by a notebook slamming to his face. The notebook made a loud splat noise against Yoochun’s face then fell on his lap lifelessly. Junsu and I stared with wide eyes at Jaejoong’s extended arm and Yoochun’s shocked expression. He seriously threw a notebook at his head. Jaejoong was glaring daggers at his bandmate, his face red. “You seriously threw a notebook at me? I could have gotten hurt. My face permanently damaged.”

“Aren’t you being dramatic?” Junsu snorted.

Yoochun immediately focused his glare at him. Oh god, I could feel Junsu stiffen next to me. I kept on eating my ramen while watching back and forth between Yoochun and Junsu. I don’t know whether to laugh at this situation or keep watching like it was a drama.

On a side note, I probably shouldn’t be eating ramen at this time. I could be bloated tomorrow. Aww, who the f*** cares! Ramen, I give you permission to enter my stomach and commence bloatation. I took another big bite out of delicious ramen letting out a satisfied sound.

What was going on? Oh yeah, just real between JYJ.

“Me dramatic? Who was the one that was wailing because he lost his lucky pen.” Yoochun retorted. 

“Yah! That was very serious. I use that pen whenever I write my genius lyrics.” Junsu argued.

“The last time you used it, you wrote a song about how much you want to take revenge on me and Jaejoong with your duck ! How is that ‘genius lyrics’!” Yoochun lifted up his fingers making air quotations in emphasis.

“Are you serious!” I exclaimed now turning towards Junsu. I couldn’t even hold it anymore. I had to put my ramen cup down on the coffee table, so I don’t spill it. “Who does that?” I said then let out a loud laugh.

“They were mean to me.” Junsu tried to defend himself. It only made me laugh harder. Oh god, I can’t breath. “Yah! How can you tell her that? What kind of first impression is that?”

“You started it.” Yoochun replied.

I can’t even see their faces anymore because of the tears in my eyes. I can also hear Jaejoong laughing along with me. Which only made me worse because of his weird laugh.

My stomach hurts.

“Fine!” Junsu yelled. Before anyone can even see it coming, Junsu grabbed my shoulders. He faced me towards him. With a serious expression, he spoke up sending me to my own oblivion and Yoochun’s embarrassment. “Yoochun once ran into the women’s bathroom because he couldn’t wait anymore. All the stalls were taken so he used the sink to pee. An Ajumma came out of the stall and beat him out the bathroom with her purse. Yoochun didn’t get to pull up his pants on the way out so he flashed everyone in the building.”

“Chincha?!” I gasped. Junsu quickly nodded while Yoochun yelled his protest. “ahhh!! Hahaha! Oh… I …can’t…breath!”

“Yah! How can you tell her that? We just met her!” Yoochun yelled throwing the same notebook that Jaejoong threw at him at Junsu.

Junsu simply leaned to the side avoiding the notebook.

“You told her about my ‘revenge of the duck ’ song!” Junsu yelled back.

“That’s the name of the song!” I breathed out.

My voice didn’t even sound normal anymore. It was more like a high pitched wheezing sound. I was now fully leaning against Junsu’s side for support. My hand over my stomach. It hurts so much, but I can’t stop laughing.

That freaking image of Yoochun tripping over his pulled down jeans while he runs away from a purse weaponized woman and Junsu writing his song about beating Yoochun and Jaejoong with his won’t leave my head. I keep seeing it over and over as I can hear the two idiots arguing in the background.

I can’t breath. I think I’m dying. Like actually dying from laughter. Can that actually happen?
Why are these guys such dorks?

Why can’t I stop laughing?

“We need to stop before we kill her.” I can hear Jaejoong let out in concern.

I lifted my hand up waving it. I don’t even know why. I guess trying to let him know I am fine.

Ok, deep breaths Sam.

In and Out.
In and Out.

There you go.

Getting back to normal breathing. That’s it, Sam. You got this. Pull yourself together.

Damn. My stomach is killing me. I bet you I have a six pack now.

Oh, would that be awesome. I would just spend all day poking it. Wouldn’t you?

“Hyung?” Junsu asked. Wiping my eye from remaining tears, I looked at the guys  to see what was going on. Junsu was looking at Jaejoong with a confused expression. “I think your girlfriend bruised my ribs.” Junsu groaned pulling away from me as he rubbed his side painfully.

“Yah!” Jaejoong yelled sending his now empty ramen cup flying at Junsu.

The brunette man saw it coming and immediately moved to the side crashing into me. The action caught me off guard, with a surprise yell I fell back. A 2 ton dolphin fell on top of me crushing my windpipe. A sharp jab of pain struck my lower right side of my ribs. Pain shot through my sides.
Ugh! My ribs are throbbing. Come on, man my stomach already hurts from laughing so hard. What did my ribs do to you?

“Damn it, why didn’t you jump..” I groaned opening my eyes.

My sentence was cut short as I looked up in shock to see how close Junsu was to me. His arms on either side of my head holding himself up as his body laid on top of mine. His eyes were wide in shock. Fear flashed in them as he snapped his head to the side. I followed his gaze to see a steaming Jaejoong and a laughing Yoochun.

“Hyung..” Junsu let out carefully as he jumped away from me. I sat up slowly watching with confusion as Junsu inched closer to the door. His hands were up in surrender. He stuttered over his words. “I-it was on a-accident.”

“I’m going to kill you!”  was all Jaejoong yelled as he launched at the now screaming dolphin.

“It was an accident, Hyung!” Junsu screeched as his voice echoed down the hallway along with his running.

Jaejoong chased him down.

I sat frozen in confusion on the black leather couch. My eyes on the door as my mouth hanged opened. My bruised side forgotten.

All I can hear is Yoochun’s laughing and Junsu’s screams in the distance.
What the hell just happened?

“They might be a while.” Yoochun finally managed to breath out. I turned to the man to see him smile widely at me. His dimples on full effect. I gave him a confused face. “Are you dense?”

I shook my head.

Yoochun studied me for a minute before getting up. I watched him as he plopped himself on the seat next to me. He leaned towards me making me lean back. What is up with these men? Haven’t they heard of personnel bubbles? I swear within the last few hours, I have gotten my personnel bubble invaded by these men. Do I have a ing JYJ magnet on me?

“What are you doing?” I breathed out completely wierded out.

“Hmmm.” Yoochun hmmed. He narrowed his slanted eyes at me for a second before he tsked leaning back away. The fu- “I think you are dense. Either that or you are playing with Hyung’s feelings. Which is not cool.”

“I’m not playing with his feelings.” I argued feeling the need to defend myself.

“So you do know he has feelings for you.” I nodded slowly. My eyes then looked down at the ground in guilt. It’s not a secret. Jaejoong has told me plenty of times and even showed it. It’s not that I am dense. It’s just that I am.. “An idiot.”

“What?”

“You’re.. an..idiot!” Yoochun breathed out slowly. He enunciated each word. I felt my blood boil in anger. I am not an idiot. my hand, I sat up straight and opened my mouth ready to yell the crap out of him. But Yoochun quickly cut me off before I could even get out a word. “Hyung, really likes you. Ever since, your group debuted he has been following you.” I scrunched my face. That sounds stalkerish. “It’s not what you think. He has been following you because he thought you had more to you that met the eye. He believed you were holding yourself back. That you had more talent that you led on.” He did? “We all thought that actually. The more we watched your groups stages the more we saw it. You were holding back. And whatever you were holding back was fighting to get out.”

I snorted shaking my head.

“That sounds stupid.” I said. I looked at Yoochun with a sad expression. “Stupid, but completely right. My voice has been fighting to get out.”

Yoochun nodded. I looked down at my intertwined hands. I played with my fingers. I don’t like how this conversation is going. This is all depressive.

“We could tell. All of us, especially Jaejoong. The more he followed your group the more of a fan he became of you. He told us all the time that there was something about you that drew him to you.” I looked at Yoochun in shock. “The first time he met you on family outing, he immediately called us. He wouldn’t shut up about you. How fun you were. How funny you were. How beautiful you were. He was enchanted by you. He couldn’t leave you alone. He didn’t want to.” My breath caught in my throat. Just by the words, my heart sped up on top speed. “He felt drawn to you as if fate wanted you two to belong together. But you didn’t feel it?”

“He-He told you?” I breathed out.

Remembering that night in Muju when he asked me if I felt anything towards him. I lied to him and told him no. That was the night, I gave up my mission. The night I knew there were somethings I can’t handle. And he was one of them.
I tried to get away from him.
To ignore him.
But I couldn’t.

We kept becoming drawn to each other.

“Yeah, he told us everything.” Yoochun sighed. “He believed you. He thought he was going crazy. He didn’t know you lied.”

“You knew?”

Yoochun nodded.

“He wanted to give up on you, but I convinced him not to.”

“Why? Why would you do that? Don’t you-“ I went to argue.

Is he an idiot? How can he convince Jaejoong not to give up on me. It would be better for all of us if he did. This is too complicated. We are too complicated. Because of who he is. Because of who I am. The companies we are at. The age difference between us. The popularity we each have. The fans that follow us.

No one will accept us. No one will support us.

We will be torn apart by the world.

“I know your situation. Hell, your singing on our title song anonymously. You have to meet each other in secret. But that is what it is like to be an idol.” Yoochun said. His demeanor changed to that of an older brother scolding me. “Now, are you going to let your job keep you from your happiness. Are you going to let all those people that call themselves fans keep you from your happiness. If they had it their way, all idols would be alone forever. I thought you were tougher than that. I thought you were more badass.” I am badass. I am tough. I proved it. I don’t let the company tell me what to do. I fight against things I don’t like. I fight for myself. I stand up for myself and my group. I am badass. My throat clenched as tears threatened to come out. I don’t fight for him because I don’t know about him. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what I feel. I don’t want to know either. A tear slipped down my face the more I thought about it. Yoochun immediately pulled me into a hug. “Figure out for yourself first, before you do anything. Be sure of yourself first. Don’t go at this half-assed.”

“You’re a bastard.” I gasped into his chest. Tears soaking his shirt as I grabbed him into a tight hug. I can feel his hands on my back rubbing it soothingly. He chuckled at my curses towards me and asked me why. “Because you made me cry. You made me think about this.”

“Dear god, I made you think.” Yoochun gasped moving me gently away from him so I can look at him. With his thumbs he wiped my eyes. It’s not like I am sobbing profusely. It more like a sad sprinkle. “I should be ashamed. I can’t believe I made you think.” I let out a soft laugh leaning back to punch him on the arm. Yoochun immediately let out a grunt holding his shoulder in fake pain. “Hey, don’t ruin a delicacy. If I get a bruise on my gorgeous body. I will sue you.” I rolled my eyes. I sniffed as I smiled at him. He is an idiot. “I didn’t mean to make you sad. I just wanted to know if you felt anything for, Hyung. He is a good guy and I don’t want to see him hurt. He’s been through a lot. We all have and we deserve happiness. He deserves happiness.”

“I know. I don’t mean to act like a total about all this.” I breathed out. I ran my hand smoothly through my curls. “I will take time to think about everything you said. I will figure out about my feelings, I promise.”

Yoochun smiled widely.

“That’s all I want. Figure out yourself first. Be sure about this. About him. If you are, don’t runaway from it. He won’t give up on you. He will fight for you.”

“You know, your not that bad. I thought you were gonna be like the other two idiots.” I snorted just thinking about Jaejoong and Junsu.

They are probably still running around the building. Yoochun lifted his hand to his chest almost offended.

“To compare to those to dummies is offensive.” He gasped. He then let out another wide smile showing me how deep his dimples are. “But completely true. Sadly, I am just as bad as them. But before I show you my true self I wanted to make sure we got somethings straight. And make sure, Jaejoong won’t get hurt.”

I understand. He is watching out for Jaejoong. I smiled at Yoochun. Taking in his speech I understand, but I’m scared.

Actually, terrified.

“You have something below your eye.” Yoochun breathed out. He leaned dangerously close to me as he lifted his hand towards my right eye. I breathed softly waiting for him to finish picking out whatever that was on my face. “It’s a loose eyelash. Look up.”

I did what he said and looked up to the ceiling. His breath fanned my face as he moved closer to me. His fingers gently tried to get out the eyelash.

“What is going on here?” My heart jumped to my throat as I hear Jaejoong’s voice boom through the room.

Without thinking, I jumped away from Yoochun. I must have jumped to far because I immediately fell back over the armrest. A yelp escaped my mouth as my back came in contact with the ground. My feet stayed resting up on the arm of the couch. I groaned in pain.

What is up with me and getting hurt today?

I looked up to see Jaejoong and Junsu at the door with amused expressions. Jaejoong was trying to stay mad, but he couldn’t. He smiled at me then let out a laugh. My cheeks immediately heated up in embarrassment as the three men laughed at me.

I hate them now.
*******
“Ok, are you ready?” Yoochun’s voice came the intercom. I looked up at them through the glass. The headphones press tightly on my ears. I stood in front of the recording mic. A podium stood tall under it showing me the lyrics of the song. The chorus was highlighted letting me know that it was the part I will sing. My hands were sweating really bad as I panicked on the inside. I bit my bottom lip. What if they don’t like my voice? What if I actually sound horrible? “Sam?” Yoochun let out in worry.

They can see how nervous I am. Pull yourself together, Sam. You have an amazing voice. You can do this. This is your chance your one shot of letting everyone hear how really sound. It’s time to let the voice out.

I looked at the three men on the other side of the glass. They sat there behind the recording equipment looking at me encouragingly. My eyes landed on Jaejoong. His arms were crossed over his chest. He smiled softly at me. Brown eyes burning with determination. And with a nod of his head, I knew I was ready.

“I’m ready.” I breathed out. My eyes never leaving Jaejoongs. I can do this. I let out another breath letting out all the nervousness. Closing my eyes, I took in the soft RB music. I already memorized the chorus before coming in here. I got this. I will make this song my . The music picked up letting it was my turn. Right when Jaejoong’s voice flowed out, I opened my mouth and sang. “ They don’t know. They don’t know what it is like. They don’t know. Ooooohhh.. They don’t knoowwww. Every time I close my eyes it’s like a paradise. I see you there and you hold onto me.  They don’t know.”

I let out the last lyric flow out and fade out softly.

The music stopped and I opened my eyes. Lifting my hands, I took off the headphones. I tried to catch my breath as my body became overcome with adrenaline. I couldn’t stop smiling. That felt so amazing.

“So what you think?” I exclaimed. With excited eyes, I looked at the guys through the window to see them staring at me in shock. “uh guys?” I watched as Yoochun smiled meschievously. He opened his mouth saying something to Jaejoong. I glared at Yoochun seeing that whatever he said embaressed Jaejoong and made Junsu laugh. Damn, soundproof room. I want to hear what they said. I growled in annoyance. They are teasing Jaejoong again. “Yah!” I yelled annoyed now.

All three of them jumped. Junsu was the first to press the button of the inercom.

“Sorry.” Both him and Yoochun let out bending their heads in a slight bow.

“We can’t help but tease Jaejoong.” Junsu let out with a smile.

“He really did find the perfect fit for our song.” Yoochun let out.

I smiled widely at them. Tears threatening to escape. God, what is wrong with me today. I am so not myself. I swear, I must be getting my period soon. Please let it not be true. Then she hulk will appear with her side kick the hunger monster. Ugh.

“It was hauntingly beautiful.” Jaejoong let out. His brown eyes looking at me with pride. “Nothing like a dehydrated seal more like a siren’s lament.”

Both of us looked at each other. Smiles mirroring both of our faces. I can see Yoochun and Junsu looking between us then at each other with smiles.

The next few hours passed within a blink of an eye. We spent the whole time incorporating my voice into thieir song even went as far as changing some of the beat. After a couple of trials, errors, and load of coffee. We finally came up with the perfect finished product.

Just in time for the world to wake up in time for work. No doubt the sun is just about to reach it’s peak in the sky.

I laid on the couch my eyes not having the energy to stay open. My body was completely numb and my voice tired. The guys were still tiredly talking about the rest of the album and plans for the release. They spoke in hushed voices knowing that I was slowly drifting to sleep.

“We like her.” Junsu’s voice let out softly.

“I do to.” Jaejoong breathed out. “She is my siren.”

“That sounded so creepy and corny all at the same time. I will tell her when she wakes up.” Yoochun snorted.

“Don’t you dare. I will kill you if you do.” Jaejoong threatened.

“Hyung, love turned you really violent.” Junsu let out in concern.

With that, I let myself drift to sleep with a smile on my face.