“Sam-sshi. Have a seat.” The older man let out sternly.

 I closed his office door behind me. Closing my only form of escape. I sighed as I looked at him. Let’s get this over with, Sam. I let out a soft hello as I bowed in respect to the older man with freshly dyed black hair. He simply pointed to the chair across his desk. A permanent scowl on his face.

  I stared at the leather chair as if it was a monster waiting to eat me. My eyes ran up to the desk of the older man. His name plank standing tall and proud in the middle of the dark mahogany wooden desk. The plank simply read the older man’s name, Kim Young Min. I swallowed my nerves as I made my way to the desk. My new sneakers dragging against the laminate floors. After what seems like an eternity, I sat down on the leather chair. It groaned under my weight.

I looked up at the older man with a blank expression.

Jon is standing behind him. His left eye swollen and blackened beyond belief. It looks as if just the slightest of touch can upset the purple beast on his face. Jon glared at me with an intense loathing. Well, the eye that is fine is the one that this glaring. The other eye just looks like a nasty mess.   

 “You wanted to see me, President Kim?” I breathed out focusing back on the CEO of my agency.

  The older man nodded his head. He let out a heavy sigh as he interlaced his own fingers and leaned forward on his desk. He did not look happy with me.

 He never is.

 “Where do I start, Sam?” President Kim breathed out. I just shrugged. Here we go. Time for the longest speech of my life. I am so glad I ate before this. “How about from the beginning? Let’s start with all your insubordination that lead to the moment I decided I had enough of it. Does that sound about right?”

I slowly nodded my head. A little dramatic don’t you think? Well, there is no use in talking back to him now. It would just make everything worse.

More worse than it already is? Yup.

Anyways I promised someone that I would be good for now. No more arguing. No more fighting. Just no more. I let out a breath. Part of the reason I agreed to that promise is honestly because I am tired. I am too tired of the fighting. I am to tired of the arguing. I am too tired of having everyone against me.

Not that this will make them come back. I don’t think nothing will.

I stayed rooted in my position on the leather chair as the President continued to passionately recount all the incident’s of insubordination from the beginning. Even from when I was a trainee. Which is unfair considering that it was years ago.

Jon muttered in his two cents every other story. The only thing he is good for actually.

Just ing away.  

I sighed drowning out their voices. This might be awhile.

Believe it or not, but I am not an angel. I have actually done a lot of . But I wouldn’t call it insubordination. More like, I refuse to do stuff that I am not comfortable with. Standing up for myself and others if you will. A real badass of justice.

 I looked down at my bandaged left hand. A soft smile filled my features as I remember last night. When He bandaged my hand. I can still feel the sparks on my hand from his gentle caresses.

“Am I doing it too tight?” Jaejoong breathed out in a soft voice.

 I looked up from my hands to him. Letting out another loud sniff, I smiled softly at him as I shook my head ‘no’ at him. He is being extremely gentle with me. Which is amazing considering how mad he was when he noticed my bruised knuckles earlier. It was so weird seeing someone like him get so upset. I honestly doesn’t suit him at all. Anyways, I reassured him that the hand doesn’t even hurt anymore. The throbbing subsided long ago. Now it was just numb to all feelings.

 Jaejoong sighed in relief as he continued his task.

We just got to his apartment not that long ago, and the first thing he did was sit me on the couch while he got the first aid kit. With my feet on his lap and my left hand in his hand, he gently applied a healing cream on my knuckles then started to wrap my hand in a white bandage. His touch was cold and feathery. It was almost as if he was scared to break me into thousands of pieces. I sat next to him, facing him, unable to take my eyes away from his hands on mine.

“Want to tell me why your knuckles are bruised up this bad?” He finally asked once he finished his work. Instead of letting go of my hand, he simply held it in both of his as he looked at me with concern. I stared at him not knowing what to say. “Sam? You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“I know.” I breathed out pulling my hand out of his hold.

“Did the other person get it worse?”

I snorted rolling my eyes with a smile. The image of Jon, sitting down with a ice pack over his swollen black eye, immediately came back to me.

“ Yeah.” I breathed out. “A nice shiner on his left eye.”

Jaejoong chuckled.

“He deserve it?”

“Yeah.”

“Want me to finish kicking his ?”

                “You want to finish kicking his ?” I chuckled. I let the side of my head lean on the couches cushion. I stared at Jaejoong with a soft smile. “No offense Jae, but I don’t think you can hurt a fly.”

                “ I could.” Jaejoong let out offended. “and I will if you tell me. I will do anything you ask of me.”

                “What are you my knight?”

                “Knight and shining armor.”

  I stared into his brown eyes. The different emotions that flashed in them almost scared me away. The brown orbs held so much trust, worry, and care towards me. But there was also another emotion that overpowered the others, but I am afraid to say what it is. Hell, even admit it.

“I wouldn’t want you to be.” I finally breathed out after much silence. I grabbed his right hand with my unbandage hand. Jaejoong looked down at our hands as I moved them on my lap. Our finger’s softly interlacing. “I can take care of myself. Besides I wouldn’t want to be the reason that you hurt your hand.” I then looked up at him with a smirk. “Or face.”

“ Did you just imply that I would get beat up?” Jaejoong gasped.

“What? Who said that?”

“No! Don’t you dare play innocent!”

I let out a loud giggle as Jaejoong immediately poked me in the sides. He took great joy in discovering that I was ticklish. He tickled me until I said out loud that he is the strongest in the world.  

“Then we come to ‘Family outing’.” President Kim let out breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up at the CEO of my agency. His face filled with so much disappointment. “I let you go to that show on your manager’s persistence, and how do you repay us. You broke every rule you were given.” You let me? Seriously? Am I a toddler? “The hair and tattoos doesn’t really concern me for we have already revealed it all before the broadcast.” Glad to know. “What upsets me is how close you have gotten to Kim Jaejoong. You practically created a love line with him on the episode.”

That is what upsets him? I wanted to scoff and roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of this situation. Making a love line on the episode. It was forced upon me so I went along with it. I should tell him to get over it. Grow up, maybe.

“After I told you specifically to stay away from him!” Jon piped in.

I looked at Jon with uncaring expression. He is nothing more than an annoying fly. I wonder if the President has one of those electric fly swatters in here. I would be happy to get rid of the pesky fly for him. The corner of my lips lifted up into a half smile as I stared at Jon challengingly. That seemed to piss him off even more as he growled at me. I quirked an eyebrow at him.

Oooh! I am so scared. It is hard to find someone with a black eye intimidating. Honestly, the black eye just shows that he got his handed to him.  

By me.

“We had to order the editors of ‘family outing’ to edit out a lot your interactions with Jaejoong out.” President Kim continued. I looked back at my CEO. Ordered? Really?! You couldn’t ask nicely? Oh I forgot. Asking nicely is not in their vocabulary. Silly me, how can I forget. “It actually caused quite a bit of  commotion. Considering most of it looks noticeable. Like how one minute you are bone dry with straight hair and full makeup then the next your makeup is gone and your hair is damp with curls. Your tattoos completely exposed. A lot of people want to know what happened. But let their imagination go wild. Because it all just rumors now. Speculation that we will destroy. I had to pay SBS in order to get them to never release the footage of you and Jaejoong falling into the river. Or any footage that made you two look a little to close for comfort. And for the next few months you will create a scandal to bury this.”

“You’re seriously not mad?” I let out in shock.

 I just finished telling Jaejoong everything that happened today. From the moment he dropped me off to the moment I cried into his arms. I didn’t hold back as I relived today to him. Jaejoong hanged onto every word I said. Listening attentively and even comforted me when I started crying again.

 It was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. And the more I vented, the more relaxed I felt. The less stress I felt.

 Honestly, I am still surprised with how easily it was to tell him all this. Just one caring look and a soft touch of the hand and I let it all out. And to tell you the truth, it scares me a little. He is breaking down my walls so easily. I don’t think I can hold my true self back away from him. I can’t hide anything from him.   

Jaejoong let out a sigh as he looked up from our adjoined hands. He let out a soft smile. I could feel his thumb soft rubbing circles on my hand. I watched as the man who can release so much emotions from me just shrug. A look of understanding crossing his face. Sadness hidden inside his dark eyes.

“ It’s an occupational hazard. Part of the job.” Jaejoong answered. He is seriously not upset about this? I just told him that I kissed another man on live tv and I have to date him for God knows how long. “Anyways, what would you do if the situation was reversed.”

Stalk the out of the that kissed him. Make sure that nothing for sure is going on. Even if she so much as touches his arm when she doesn’t need to I will attack. God, I will go on a jealous hunt now thinking about it.

What is this man doing to me?

“Nothing, probably.” I lied. Jaejoong gave me a look. He doesn’t believe me. “I’m serious, Jae. I would do nothing.”

“Whatever you say.” Jaejoong breathed out as he shrugged. His dark orbs rolled away from looking at me. A smirk clear on his face. I simply scowled at him. He is so annoying. I am in distress and all he can do is tease me. I let out a small humph as I pushed him. Jaejoong let out a chuckle which died down to soon. He let go of my hand in order to intertwine his own fingers together. He looked down at his hands on his lap with a sullen expression. I felt my mood drop as I became worried. What’s wrong with him. Pulling my legs back to myself, I kneeled on the couch. I called out to Jaejoong softly as I leaned towards him.  “Do you have feelings for him?”

“Feelings? For who? Taemin?”

He nodded sullenly.

I stared at him. His eyes refusing to meet mine as he stared at his adjoined hands. His fingers nervously twiddling with each other. I smiled despite the atmosphere. He is so adorable. Just like a kid who has been scolded. I just want to . Just a little. Nothing to bad.

“You want to know if I have feelings for Taemin?” I breathed out. I kept my voice low and tried my best not to laugh. Jaejoong snapped his head up at me. His brown orbs that I adore so much stared at me with sadness. I scrunched my eyebrows as I looked down at him. Guilt filled me faster than any other emotion. How am I supposed to if he is like this? “.” I muttered. More to myself than him. I let out a breath shaking my head. Just tell him the truth, Sam. “I used to have feelings for him, but not anymore.”

“Used to?”

“When I was a trainee. Don’t worry, those feelings are long gone now. Sadly, I have feelings for a clumsy dork now.”

My heart almost stopped upon witnessing the angelic smile that came over Jaejoong’s face. How can it be that a man could look so pure and innocent with just a smile. Then all too soon the smile dropped to a confused frown.

“Wait…what do you mean sadly?” Jaejoong whined once he realized my words making me laugh.

“And do not even get me started on the lack of professionalism you displayed on your manager after the kiss with Taemin.” President Kim growled.  

There he goes again interrupting me from a great ing memory.  When is this damn meeting going to be over? I have already been here for. My eyes landed on the wall clock behind both men in front of me.

2 hours.

I’ve been here for 2 hours silently hearing both of them on an on about me.

“You should be put in a cage and locked up in an asylum.” Jon hissed.  

I rolled my eyes as I let out a scoff. , please. The asylum would kick me out within just five minutes. And a cage? Ha. Try to force me in there. I looked at Jon with a dangerous smirk making him uncomfortable. It would give me a great reason to beat you even more, Jonny boy.

“Manager Jon.” President Kim let out in a warning voice. “Your comments are starting to get on my nerves. I appreciate if you kept your mouth shut for the rest of this meeting.” Damn. “ I want to hurry and finish this meeting as soon as possible. We all have busy schedules and would like to get them started. Don’t you agree, Sam?”

Hell to the ing yes! I just nodded at President Kim still keeping my trap shut. Jon, on the other hand, bowed his head down in slight shame. And honestly, I am laughing like a maniac in my head.

“Sam? Do you understand all the insubordination you have done within the past few years to up to recently?” President Kim let out in a stern voice. Don’t you think it’s a little unfair he is holding me accountable for everything in my past now? I get the stuff that happened now, but why from the past. “And because of all this insubordination, I’m sure you also understand that there is a limit? You have crossed this limit so I have no choice, but put you on probation.”

Probation? I felt my jaw clench in anger as my eyes narrowed at the CEO of my agency. His brown eyes piqued with interest as soon as he took in my mood change.

“Do you have any problems about this?” He let out with challenge. Yes, I have a ing problem! This bastard wants me to fight back. Wants me to yell at him. To argue how ing stupid all this and how ridiculous this is!  “Do you want to say something about all this before I let you know your punishment?”

Punishment?!

“You don’t want me to fight back?!” I exclaimed in shock. I turned back to face Jaejoong in the kitchen. He stood with a serious expression and a cup of tea on hand. “Are you kidding me! How can I not fight back? They are forcing me to do something I don’t want to do! They are controlling me like a freaking doll.”

“I know, but right now fighting back will make everything worse.” Jaejoong explained. “Trust me. It will make everything ten times worse. They will destroy you physically and mentally if you fight back. Promise me you won’t fight back.” I just stood in place staring at Jaejoong as if he was insane. He just put his tea mug down and grabbed my hand across the counter softly. “Promise?”

“I promise.” I let out in defeat.

“Nothing to say?” President Kim let out surprised. He leaned back on his desk chair. Brown eyes still studying me with an evil glint in them. Oh! I have plenty to say, bastard. But I won’t say it out loud like you want me to. I will just sit here and glare at you until lasers come out of my eyes. “ I’m surprised. With your reputation, I expected you to put up more of a fight. I was actually looking forward to it.” Sorry to disappoint. “Oh well, I guess I will live with the disappointment.” Damn straight. “ Well, as I said before I have grown tired of your insubordination. So I have decided to put you on probation. Nothing to bad.”

Bull.

“As you know, you will be ‘dating’ Taemin. For how long? Months to maybe 2 years, depends on how the media and fans take it. For now, you will deny the relationship. Keep the media and fans busy with wonder. During the denial stage, we will stage ‘dates’ so they can catch you. After a couple attempts to deny it, you both will admit the relationship. Have actually been ‘dating’ for about 4 months now. Congratulations!”

“So what do I do, Jae?” I let out in a soft voice. Silently hating myself for sounding so weak. For being so weak.

“The ‘dating’ Taemin will put to rest all those abomination rumors of you and Kim Jaejoong.” President Kim hissed. I let out a low growl in anger. My right eye twitching slightly. Don’t do anything, Sam. Don’t say anything, Sam. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Jon lift his head up to stare at me in confusion. Then as if a lightbulb went off, he casted me a dangerous knowing smirk. “Once the rumors are all gone, I will determine if I will keep you two ‘dating’ or not. Like I said, it depends on how the media and fans take it. What else? Oh yes, your schedule will be very busy from now on. No time to rest. That is your punishment. You will have magazine shoots, interviews, variety show appearances, regular slot on Sunny’s radio show, cf shoots,….”

“Just do what they say. Do everything they say without complaint.” Jaejoong answered with a sigh. “Without any fight.”

I snapped my head up to look at him. Tears welled up in my eyes from all the stress. I shook my head at Jaejoong. My bottom lip quivering.

He just wants me to do everything they say. As if, it was nothing.

“I don’t want to.” I breathed out in a shaky voice. “ I can’t believe you are telling me to give up.”

“Sam, I never said to give up.”

“You might as well as imply it!” I yelled. “They will control me for months. Tell me how to act, how to feel.” I shook my head as I let go of Jaejoong’s hand. I made my way back to his living room still shaking my head. Tears trailed down my face slowly. “And you just want me to go along with it without a fight.  Without a complaint. Like some ing puppet.”

                “It’s the only way.” Jaejoong replied. I watched rooted in my spot as he left the kitchen and made his way towards me. “At least for now. Play along for now. We will figure out a way together to get out of it.”

                I scoffed looking away from him.

                “The only way to get out of this is to terminate my contract. And no offense, but I don’t want to go through all that .”

                “No. I don’t want you to go through what I went through.” Jae breathed out. I felt his hands softly grab my wrist. I turned my head to look at him. Worry filling his brown eyes. Why am I involving him in my fight? I should just walk away. Tell him I will fight my own battle and not to worry about me. God, what am I doing? “For now, I would suggest doing what they say with no fight for a while. You and I can still see each other, but we just have to be more smart about it.”

                “The rest of the terms and conditions will be explained in this form and with your new personnel manager.” President Kim explained. He opened the drawer on his side of the desk. He pulled out a contract like form. President Kim held a smug expression as he held the form towards me. A contract? “Take it, read it over, and sign it by tomorrow. It is mostly standard contract explaining everything I just told you. You have to complete your schedule perfectly. No leaving. No running in late. And absolutely no sabotage. You will also ‘date’ Taemin until I say you don’t have to anymore. Also you cannot be with anyone during this time. Anyways you won’t be able to. Part of your probation is that your new manager will be with you at all times. She will watch you and report back to me.”

                “More smart about it?” I questioned tilting my head to the side. “Aren’t we smart about it now?”

                “Not enough, babe.” Jaejoong let out.

                I let out a snort as a smile overcame my face.

                “Don’t call me babe.”

                “Well then don’t call me ‘greek god’.”

                “I never called you that.”

                “Really? Are you sure? I could have sworn you did?” He smirked.

                “You’re an idiot.” I said letting out a loud laugh. The pain in my heart easing slowly away. I don’t have confidence in this. In this situation. I don’t know if I can make it through this. Not long, my laughter died down. I looked into Jaejoong’s eyes. My eyes moving back and forth searching his. Tears welling up in my eyes. “I’m so sorry for putting this on you. I shouldn’t…maybe…I just..I don’t want.”

                “You want to take all this on your own. Not involve me in all this drama you are going through.” Jaejoong finished my stuttering mess. I let out a long breath as I looked down in shame. “Hey.” I felt his cool fingers light tap the bottom of my chin before he cupped my cheek. I looked back up at him. “No matter how much you will try to push me away. I won’t go anywhere.” Tears escaped my eyes as his words touched my heart. Jaejoong let out a breath as he rested his forehead against mine. His lips only a finger width away. Both of his arms moved around my waist pressing me tightly to him. Goosebumps rose along my skin as a shiver took over me. “I’m not going anywhere.”

                I let out a heavy sigh as I grabbed the contract from President Kim’s hand. A contract. I stared down at the legal white sheet with black letters covering it. My eyes roamed the official form. It was almost mocking me the more I stared at it. Telling me that I messed up big time. Telling me that I will ruin myself. Telling me that I won’t follow through because of my personality.

                Telling me I can’t do it.

                “I’m sure you understand what happens if you don’t go through with it.” President Kim sternly let out. I looked up at him. I can feel my face tighten from holding in my emotions. I tried to focus on the anger and loathing I felt for the man to show. President Kim smirked in satisfaction. “If you break this contract than I have no choice, but to disband the Violets and force you back to being a trainee. Make sure you understand much about your image and how to act according to it. As for the other members, they will be on hiatus while I decide on what to do with them. I might let them in their own group or solo. I haven’t decided yet. Any questions?”

                “We can do this.” Jaejoong breathed out softly. “You are stronger than you think. Play along with everything. Do what they say. This will pass over. It won’t last long. If I remember anything about this company is that they will give up on their plans once the scandal passes. Once everything is back to normal.”

                “Shinee.” I finally spoke up. “Why involve them in this?”

                “I have my reasons. Which I don’t need to explain to you.” President Kim let out smugly. He quickly plucked a pen from his desk handing it to me. “Now to sign the contract. And before you think you don’t have to , let me remind you that you do have to sign it. This contract is more like an acknowledgement. The events and probation will still happen whether you sign it or not.”

                Evil sadistic .

                Scowling, I snatched the pen from his hand. I laid the contract on his desk finding the X. The pen flowed across the line smoothly as I signed my freedom to this man for as long as he wishes.

                “So we date in super secret.” I stated. Our lips brushing together softly as I spoke. Sparks covered me as I felt my eyes close. I let the heat of our bodies soothe me. “Like ninja’s.”

                Jaejoong let out a soft chuckle.

                “Yeah, like ninjas. We will figure all this out later, promise.”

                Once done signing, I looked up at the satisfied CEO I work for. Everything from last night echoed in my head. All the crying and yelling. Even the pain. But above all, I kept remembering Jaejoong. How gentle he was wrapping my left hand. How sweet he was comforting me about the situation. Even making me laugh with stupidity. I stared at President Kim feeling all the anger dissipate. An overwhelming feeling of victory started to fill me. He may have won this battle, but he won’t win the war. He may think he hast me, but he doesn’t. I will still see Jaejoong no matter what and he will never know.

  I can see the confusion slowly come upon President Kim’s face as he witnessed my smirk. Enjoy this moment, Kim Young Min. Because that is all it is.

                A moment.