I hope this next update won’t be so lame. Hehehehe….

New Year’s Eve

AMBER’S POV

It been a weeks since Krystal announce her relationship with Yoona unnie. And it’s been also one week since I’m feeling like dying. I know her feelings for Yoona unnie but I didn’t know she’ll confess to her that night in the party and most of all I didn’t know unnie will accept her; I know she was in love with Sica unnie but why did she accept Krystal? I avoided Krystal for a week and always tell her some lame excuses that even me didn’t buy, but what can I do? I was hurting and I’m broken hearted.

We are now preparing for the New Year’s performance in Korean Music wave in Beijing; we are one of the groups that asked to perform there.

We already practicing for an hour, and I have a schedule after this for the recording of my first single song, I was choose to debut as soloist in our group. I will less spending my time in the group which I think is okay because I don’t want to be around Krys, every time I see her my heart aches.

“Okay guys…that’s it for today.” The Choreographer told us

“Kamsamida.” We bow to him

I walk towards my bag, I get my towel and water bottle. While I was drinking, I can see that Krys was approaching me.

“Unnie…” I just glance at her while still drinking

“--------“

“Are you avoiding me?” she was sad, I know she is.

“No.” I coolly answer her; I was wiping my sweats now and pretending that I was searching in my bag

“But why thus I feel you are.”

“I was not Krystal.”

“YES YOU ARE. WHAT DID I DO WRONG?” I can see that everybody in the room are staring at them now

“Krystal, calm down.” Luna approach Krystal and patted her back

“What did I do wrong unnie? What are you avoiding me?” she ask whispery

 “Krys, you’re just having delusion, I wasn’t avoiding you, I was busy on my preparation so don’t think of it, okay?” I told her dismissing the topic

“Unnie please…don’t..”

“I have to go guys; I have to proceed to my next schedule.” I started to gathered my things and when I’m about to walk, I felt a grip on my wrist

“Unnie…..” her voice is pleading

I untangled her hands in my wrist and continue to walk away. I’m sorry Krys, I don’t want to do this but I have to because I know you can’t love me back the way I want you to.

KRYSTAL’S POV

I just sit there and stared at her back, why did Amber unnie doing this to me, she was my closest member, my best friend yet she was avoiding for the reason I don’t know.

“Why is she doing this to me unnies?” I mumble to myself

“Krys, just give her time, she needs space.” Vic unnie said

“Space? I didn’t do anything. What did I do wrong?” I defensively ask

“Yes you didn’t do anything wrong Krys, she just going through some stuffs so we have to give her time alone.”

“But I’m her best friend I should help her.” I said to them

“You can’t help her in this thing she was going through, so give her space.” Luna unnie

“You know about it, why I didn’t? How could she tell you but not me.” I ask them angry

“She didn’t tell us, we just know.”

“What is it unnie? I want to help her.” I look at them

“She was the only one who can help herself.”

“But—“

“Krys, she needs it and respect that please?” Vic unnie

“O-okay.” I agreed even though I don’t want

“You have a date, right? You should probably get going.” Luna unnie said

Then I remember I have a date with Yoona unnie. I still call her that even after she became my girlfriend. I’m used to call her that, but I’m planning to drop the honorifics if I know she really love me as a partner.

“Yes unnie. I should really get going.”

“What did you exactly plan on your first date with her?”

“Just a normal date unnie, we’ll have dinner, a last full show in the cinema and then we’ll just have a simple walk in the Han River.”

“You thought about it huh?” Luna unnie teases me

“My daughter is grown up already.” Vic unnie faking a cry, I just laugh at her

“Of course umma, I have to if I want to get the woman I love.” I said with a determined voice

“Just don’t get yourself hurt Krys. I don’t to see you hurt.” She said with concerned

“I choose this so I’m gonna live with what will be the result was. But I still hope that it will be good because I really do love her.” I said it sadly

It was hurting me when I look into her eyes and I can see that she just see me as a sister and not a lover, but I always shrug it off and put a strong act because I want to win this battle. I need to, for me and for her; I want us both to stop hurting our self and just love each other.

I said my goodbyes to them and drive to my apartment, I just shower and get dress, I’m really nervous because I don’t want to make mistakes. I really want to impress her even in this simple date, when I was planning for this I really want some extravagant date but my two unnies suggested that it should be simple and just be myself. Sica unnie told me not to be too showing off because it may cause some problems, so here I am being me and prepared simple date, a normal one.

When I was done getting ready, I drive to the SNSD dorm, we don’t need to hide ourselves because nobody won’t suspect that it was a date, the people who will saw us probably think it was a sister’s bonding because they know I was close with them since trainee days. I dialed her number and in a few rings she pick up.

“Hey, are you ready?” I keep my cool; I don’t want her to know that I was so nervous

“Y-yeah. Are you at the building already?” she ask

“Yes, I was in the car park. I’ll wait for you here.”

“O-okay.” She hung up before I answer her, I want to tell her “I love you” maybe later, I smiled bitterly

I just wait there and about five minutes I saw her walking out the lift to the basement of the building where the car park was located. I step out in the driver seat and approach her, I give her a smile and escorted her to the passenger seat, and help her with the seatbelt, when she already settled I make my way to the driver seat.

“Where are we going?”

“Dinner? Or do you want to catch movie first? I don’t know what you want to do first so I want to ask you?” I smiled at her, and she gave me a force smile. Even though it was a force I still keep my smile genuine

“You decide, I’m okay with anything.” She said to me while looking at the window, I frown because I felt that I was the only one excited for this date.

“O-okay.” I stutter. I need to compose myself for her not to notice that I was hurt.

I drive quietly to her favorite Korean Restaurant; I know this is her favorite because she drag me here before when we both watch the musical of Sica unnie. I want her to be like that again on me, a carefree and cheerful but now she was awkward. I need to do something that will make her feel at ease again.

When we arrive at the restaurant, I assist her to our table which I reserve yesterday. I first order wine.

“So what do you want unnie?” I call her that for her to let herself be comfortable with me, even though I plan to start not to call her that.

After sometimes we order and while waiting for it the silent beckon us again. I don’t know what to say for her not to be awkward.

“Hmm? U-unnie, so? Hmm? What are y-your schedule? D-do you have a drama to film or something?” I tried not to stutter much but I think I failed, but I still flash my smile even though I was nervous as hell

“No, I don’t have a film shooting just some photo shoot and then our group activities.” She said while looking at anywhere but me.

“Oh okay. At least you’re not tired like before that you barely have a time for rest.” I’m still smiling

“Yeah.” She answer uninterestedly

“Hmm?”

I continue to ask her some nonsense question because I want us to continue talking, I know she didn’t interested but I still continue. I told her I’ll try so I’m trying even if it hurts. While I was eating she was playing on her food for about 20 minutes.

“U-unnie, don’t you like the taste?”

“I like it, but I’m full already.” She slightly smile

“Oh okay.” I said, she was full but she didn’t even touch her order even a bite.

I lost my appetite after that so I ask her if she wants to go to our next destination, and when she nods I pay the bill and usher her again to the car. When we reach our next destination which is cinema, I held her hand and I felt her flinch but I didn’t loosen my grip.

“What do you want to watch? I want to buy tickets online but I decided not to because I may choose what you didn’t like, so I let you choose.”

“I don’t know. Anything.” She said

I shrug it off again her rejection on my offer so I decided a romance movie. I buy the tickets and also popcorn and soft drinks. We walk inside the cinema; while the movie was playing I always take glances on her. She was focused on the movie that I think she didn’t even remember I was with her.

I grab her hand and put in in my lap before I continue to watch the movie, I can sense her stare when I did that but I ignore it. I didn’t let go of it until the movie ended and we’re walking out on the cinema, I ask her if she wants to go to the Han River and walk, but she said she was tired and so I decided to bring her home even I still want to spend more time with her. When we arrive at her front dorm.

“Thank you for the movie and the dinner.” She said with a force smile again

“You’re welcome; it was good to spend time with my girlfriend.” The force smile on her face disappears. Did that thought still didn’t process in her mind, that I was her girlfriend now.

“Y-yeah.”

“Yoona ah.” I called her with the sweetest voice I have, her eyes became wide

“------“ I want to ask her if she still didn’t consider me as a girlfriend but decided not to

“Goodnight Yoona ah. I love you.” I hug her and whisper the last words.

“---------“

“I should go. See you later. Bye.” I let her go and signal her to go inside

When she disappears in my sight I tried for my tears not to fall while I started to go home. I was happy because I get to spend time with her but at the same time I was hurt because I know she doesn’t love me and she didn’t enjoy this night, I felt it.

 YOONA’S POV

When I entered the dorm, I didn’t see anyone, maybe because they are all asleep. It was late already. I know she wants to spend more time with me but I felt guilty because I can’t enjoy the date and return her feelings.

Earlier I really try to focus on her but I just can’t when I look at her and see her serious expression I can see Sica unnie and my hearts wants it to be her with me at the dinner table and in the cinema. My guilt is increasing so I refuse to go in the Han river.

I decided to sleep my guilt, when I was about to step inside my room, Yuri unnie walk out in her.

“Oh Yoong, you’re here already? How was the date?”

“It’s okay.” I gave her a force smile

“You want to talk about it. It’s good to let it out you know.” She ask me with her concern tone

“N-nothing unnie.” I said while looking everywhere but her

“Are you sure? I’m here to listen.” I hesitate first but I decided in the end to tell her

“I just feel guilty for Krystal.”

“Waeyo?”

“I can see Sica unnie on her while we had our date, because of it I stay silent and just let her do the talking and choosing everything for our date.”

“WHAT?”

“I can’t help it unnie, when she is in her serious face or even when she laugh, I can see Sica unnie in her and I can’t stop myself to wish that Sica unnie was there and not Krystal.”

“But why did you agreed to be her girlfriend in the first place?”

“Because I can see her hurt that day, I don’t want to hurt her because I can’t love her back, I know that feeling and it hurts so much.”

“But don’t you think you’ll still hurting her because of this.”

“But---“

“Yoona ah, I know she the one who told you that she’ll take a risk of hurting and knowing the possibility of not loving her back, but you should make the decision Yoong. She may act strong but she may be in deep pain inside.”

“I was thinking of that unnie this past few days and I actually want to try loving her but how can I do that if I see Sica unnie in her?”

“That may actually help you Yoong.” She suddenly said

“What do you mean unnie?” I ask curiously

“It may help you because you may fall for her in their similarity, you fall for Sica because of her personality and if they are similar it may help you also fall for Krys.”

“But what if I hurt her more.”

“For those not to happen, you should be careful. Just go with a flow, it may lead you both to happiness.”

“Thank you unnie for the word of advice. Let me think about all that you said.” I hug her

“You’re welcome Yoong. Your my sister and best friend.” She usher me into my room before she go back to hers.

I just sat on my bed for the few minutes before I decided to shower and sleep.

NO ONE’S POV

Sooyoung was in the dorm and just texting someone.

To Sica:

Sica ah, can we talk? I just need to talk to you, actually me, you and Hyo. I want us three talk, please!

From Sica:

Okay, my schedule will end after an hour you can wait for me in my apartment

To Sica:

Thank you!

Sooyoung walk in the living room when everyone is there watching movie, they just finish their dinner and Yuri suggested they watch some movie and everyone agreed.

“Hyo, can you accompany me?” Sooyoung

“Where?” Hyo ask

“I just need to buy something.”

“I can accompany you baby.” Sunny

“No Baby, it’s okay. Hyo will accompany me; I need her opinion on this. Hyo let’s go.”

“Okay.”

“Guys, don’t be too late outside.” Taeyeon

“We won’t.”

Soo drag Hyoyeon to the lift, and grab her phone. She texted Sica that they are going in her apartment now.

“Where are we going?” Hyo ask

“To Sica’s apartment.”

“What? Waeyo?”

“We’re going to talk to her.”

“But is she even in there?”

“Yeah, I actually texted her before I drag you. and she agreed to talk to us both in her apartment.”

“But why we didn’t tell others.”

“Because I want us two to talk to her first because probably we hurt her most, we’re the her longest friends in the group, she’s are friend for seven years in trainee days and seven years being in the group.”

“----“

“We better explain our side again; I mean each one of us, the thing we had in mind when we decide to agree to kick her out. Then after that we’ll help others one by one to explain their side. I think we better explain first.”

“You’re right; we should really tell her our sides.”

They silently walk to the parking lot and drove Soo’s car to Sica’s building apartment. When they arrive at the lobby Soo texted Sica and reply that they can wait for her inside her apartment since they know the passcode already.

After half an hour Jessica arrive and ask if she can shower first and change and the two agreed. When she’s done, she joins them in the living room and seat on the single couch. They are silent for 10 minutes before the owner of the place break the silent.

“What do you want to talk?” She ask and staring at two like she examining their reaction

“Sica ah, we’re here because we want to say something we didn’t say that night we talk.” Sooyoung started

“We know you felt betray by us, we know that, we know we hurt you we just want you to know that we’re sorry.” Hyo said while Jessica was just listening to them

“I admit we became selfish and we didn’t think of what will you feel when we decide to kick you out, we just think that we don’t want to be disband, Sica ah, when Tae told us that the management wants you out or we will be disbanded, I felt afraid I don’t know what to do if the group will be disbanded.” Soo said sadly

“I was too felt afraid that time, what if the group will be disbanded, what will happen to me? Tae, Fany and Seo will continue to sing, Yul, Yoong, Soo will act, you have your brand, Sunny will continue her radio or her reality show, how about me? You know I was the least popular, I can’t bear to lose the group, I just can’t, and I’m sorry for being such a jerk and save my .” Hyoyeon said and she started to cry

“ We regret the decision after it was announce and when we saw the hurt in your eyes that day we supposed to be complete in China fan meeting, we realize how much we hurt our beloved sister and friend that trusted us but we face our back on her.” Sooyoung tried to be strong but failed when a tear falls.

“Sica ah, please forgive us for being a bad friend to you, me and Soo was the worst because we’re your longest friends but we didn’t even fight for you or try to defend you. We were sorry about that, we can’t bring back the past so let us do anything just for you to forgive and trust us again.” Hyo said while sobbing

“Hey don’t cry both of you.”

Jessica walk near them and sat in the couch in between them, she put her both hands each on their shoulders and pull to her, she hugs them.

“Don’t cry okay, I understands both if you. I already forgive you all, it just hurts that’s why I didn’t approach you and told you that.” Jessica was also crying now like the two she was hugging

“Thank you Sica, you are really the best.” Hyo said and hug her tightly

“We promise we won’t hurt you anymore and disappoint you.” Soo

“Let’s forget it all and start a new okay.” Sica

“Okay.” The of two them said in unison

The three of them chit chat of what happen in a year that Jessica was out of the group, and Hyo told Sica about the war between the famous “taeny” couple, it slips in her tongue. You really can’t hide anything when it comes to Hyo. They bonding for some times like the year apart didn’t happen.

“Sica ah, you told us you already forgive us, right?” Soo

“Yes. Wae?”

“So you also forgive the other six?” Soo nervously ask

“Yes.” Sica answer with confidence

“So you’re ready to talk to them and fix everything?” Soo

“Ah-eh, okay.” Sica answer like she wasn’t sure

“Sica, I thought you forgive them already?” Soo

“I did, I just feel awkward. But I’ll talk to them okay, in my New Year’s Eve party, you all have to go there, everyone is invited.”

“Chincha? You have another party to throw?” Hyo ask excitedly, she was a party person

“Hahaha. Yes Hyo, I have, I invite already some like 2ne1, Big Bang, Kara, 4 minute, Suju oppa’s etc. So you better be there okay, all of you even Seobaby, told her that I want her there.”

Jessica told them, She want them complete, Seohyun always spend her New Year’s Eve with her family and it’s a tradition but now she really want them to be complete in our party.

TIFFANY’S POV

“OH MY GOD!” I shouted when I check my IG after I post my latest picture.

“FANY AH, ARE YOU OKAY?” Sunny

“What happen to you? Are you hurt?” Sooyoung ask panicking

“Sunny ah, Sooyoungie, did y-you already c-check you’re IG?”

“Last time I check was this morning, waeyo?” Sunny

“J-jessi follows us back.”

“Oh, that’s it, that’s why you shout because Sica follows us-----WHAT? REALLY? WHERE? WHEN?” Sunny

“Yes, I just saw it now when I post some picture of me.” They run out in my room then I heard their loud gasp, also the other member, maybe they also check what I did say.

What’s the meaning of this? We follow her for months but she didn’t follow us back, but now she did. Is this means where okay, already? I step into the living to ask someone to answer the question in my mind.

“Do you think Jessi is not mad at us anymore?” I look to them

“Hope so unnie. She greets happy new years after she follows us so it means she was willing to try mending our friendship, right?” Yoona

“Maybe she forgives us already.” Hyoyeon said with a teasing smile but I shrug it off

“Or maybe let’s just call her or talk to her in person so we know what the meaning of it?” Sunny

“Maybe you’re right? Everyone is free today, right? So we can visit her today.” Yuri

“Do you think she’s there, she busier than us remembers? She may have schedule today.” I said

“What’s the use of Yoona? She can ask her girlfriend what’s the schedule of her unnie?” Taeyeon

“I-I can’t unnie.” Yoona

“Waeyo?” I ask

“I just can’t, you know Krystal….she…” Yoona was having a hard time

“You don’t want to hurt her, and you’re still feeling guilty.” Yuri

“Y-yes.” She said

“Oh.” We said

“Why doesn’t one of you ask her?” Yoona said

“We just don’t know if she’s going to tell us because even though she interact to us, it doesn’t mean she forgive us.” I said

Then after a long silent the two of the member laugh and hold their stomach. It was Soo and Hyo.

“Baby, what’s funny?” Sunny ask her GF

“I-it just all you’re*laugh* your face *laugh*were all so serious.”

“Y-yes.*laugh* you all so serious.” Hyo said while holding her stomach

“Of course we are, it was about Jessi.” I annoyingly said

“S-sorry Fany ah, it just really funny.” Hyo,  they tried to stop their laugh

“We have something to tell you.” Soo

“What is it?” Taetae ask

“We actually talk to Sica yesterday when we are out.” Soo said

“WHAT? /EH?/ CHINCHA.” We all said

“Yes.” They both said

“Why didn’t you tell ask?” I ask with my angry tone, I glaring at them

“F-fany ah, we just need to talk to her alone because we thought that if we talk to her together, the last time will happen again, like we didn’t even explain each other reason.” Soo said afraid

“Yes, Fany ah, Soo thinks it’s better if we first talk to her because me and Soo actually was her longest friends here, remember? We already have 14 years of friendship so we decided to talk to her first.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Taeyeon calmly ask even though it was evident that she was also angry to the two

“Because we know, you’ll going to be stubborn and come with us.” Soo said

“We’re sorry we didn’t tell you but we have good news.” Hyo added

“What is it?” I sternly ask

“She was ready to talk to us again and try to fix everything between us.” Soo said smiling

“Eh? Really? She forgives us already?” Yoona ask

“Yes, we explain mine and Hyo side then we cry in front of her she walk towards us and hugs us.”

“She told you that she forgive us unnie?” Seo ask

“Yes Seo, she told us that she already forgive us all and she understand us, but I advise all of you to talk to her and explain your reason for agreeing to kick her out, we already did it and I think Fany ah and Tae also told it when we talk to her last Christmas so the others just tell her what is your reason and then we can start again with her.” Soo told us

Yeah