Guys sorry for the late update, I was sick that I can’t update. My mind can’t think so please understand if this chapter is lame. But I hope you’ll still like this. Some of the comment really revealed my plot…hahaha….thank you again for reading.

JESSICA’S POV

JJ continues to gain major awards and popularity all over Asia and some in other continent like Europe and America.

JJ gain two awards from the Mnet Asian Music Awards last December which held on Hong Kong, Best new artist of the year and Album of the year, the awards night was full of surprises performance from so many artists that attend that night, but the most captivated or most talk about that awards night was her performance which gain the most cheers when she was on stage, her fans really support her.

There was also a survey of her popularity and it resulted that she was really love by other countries like China and Hong Kong. And her recent debut in Japan was an intense success. She promoted her album in Japan for long that she has to go back and forth from Seoul to Tokyo.

I was in the dressing room of the MBC studio for the MBC Gayo Daejaejun performance while I read the new article about me; It was a relief that my achievement covers the last bad article about me when I collapse; I was invited to perform here for the year end show. It was a now a week before Christmas and I just arrive in Seoul yesterday after my promotion in Japan end, it happen to be a long promotion because I was invited in different music shows and reality shows in Japan. It was really a nice experience especially because my Japanese fans never let me down and support me all the way.

T-ara was the same dressing room I was, there are also here, my sister group was also here, and KARA and 2NE1 and last but not the least SNSD, and some other artist like APINK, Red Velvet, Sistar, Girls’ day, Ailee, IU and for the boy bands there was Infinite, EXO,2PM,CNBlue,TVXQ and Big Bang.

It was an all-out show that includes the entire KPOP superstar. My first performance will be the opening act, and my last/second performance was in between of 2NE1 and SNSD which is third to the last performance.

“Princess, are you okay? You’re spacing out again?” Yeon

“Huh? I’m sorry, maybe because I was nervous.” I smiled to her and lean my head on her shoulder when she sits beside me on the couch

“Don’t be nervous okay? You’ll do well. You’re my girlfriend after all, the famous JJ.” I was still not use to be called Yeon’s girlfriend.

Maybe because we didn’t really always together because of our busy schedule, when I was promoting in Japan, I rarely fly back to Seoul, it was always just for a schedule or something urgent happen, my schedule also with my doctor was lessen to once a week because I was really busy.

While I was in Seoul and she isn’t busy she visit me to my schedule like when I have photo shoot, she bring me some foods, but it was stop the second time she came because there was a speculation going on about us, and because we are an idol and also in Korea being gay was a sin. So before it became breaking news my manager unnie talk to us and we force to be discreet.

The only one that knows we are dating is my family, SNSD, T-ara, KARA, and 2NE1, and of course some close friends, my manager and her manager. We know we can’t risk being caught especially right now, maybe in the future.

When we are alone like this or when we are on my apartment is the only way we can be like this having some skinship. I snuggle close to Yeon because I was sleepy and I put my hands on her waist and nuzzle my face on her neck.

“Yah, you two, don’t be lovey dovey here.” Soyeon unnie told us, I just chuckle but didn’t remove my face on her neck

“You’re just jealous unnie.” Yeon counter act

“Don’t be jealous on them Soyeon, I was here.” Qri unnie hug her

“Yah, don’t hug me, I’m mad at you.”

She pouts and Qri unnie don’t break the hug and whisper something on Soyeon unnie who still struggling to break the hug, we just laugh on both of them, they are one of the cutest couple I know. Even they have some petty fights they show how much they love each other.

I continue to snuggle to Yeon and close my eyes, and I felt her hug me, but then I heard the door open but I still keep on my position but then I stiffen when I heard the voice.

“We’ll just go back when she is not sleep.” Tiff

“She’s not sleep, right Jiyeon?” Soyeon unnie ask

“Don’t know, princess…princess….” Jiyeon whisper to me and I can feel her breath on my ears

“Hmm?” I pretended to be half sleep

“Someone was here for you.”

I slowly look up and back away from Yeon. I look at the people on the room, it was all of them staring at me and some is glaring.

“What are you doing here?” I yawn for me not to be caught that I pretended to be sleep earlier

“We just want to say hi.” Sooyoung said

“Oh, okay. Hi to all of you too.” I smiled at them

I can see that they we’re surprise on my gesture. But I just keep on smiling at them. I was planning on talking to them on Christmas Eve which I plan to have a party with some close friends in the entertainment.

“O-okay, we really j-just drops by to say that.” Sunny said

I just nod at them and she nudges her members to make an exit, I just look at them and then I can see the pain in Tiff, Taengoo and Yoong eyes. I really pity Yoong because I really can’t love her back but Krys can so I need to help them be together.

“Sica ah, you said you’re now ready to listen to them, right?” I was surprise in her question, and I hint some uncomfortable feeling she had, please don’t let her know about my confusion.

“Hmm.” I answer her but I didn’t show my nervousness, then the other members of T-ara maybe sense the seriousness of Yeon so they left us two in the room

“Sica ah, if you forgive them, you’ll only love me right?” My hopes crushed, did she already know about my confuse feelings?

“Yeon ah…w-hat are y-you saying?” My nervousness is evident now in my voice

“Can you promise me princess that your feelings for me won’t falter?” Her eye told me the seriousness, and there was also a fear that shows in it.

“What are you talking about Yeon?” I chuckle to hide my nervousness, then she laugh.

“Did I scare you? I’m sorry… I trust you, I just want to saw what you’re reaction maybe.” She laughs but I know it was a force laugh, she maybe sense that I don’t want to talk about it

“Don’t do that again, okay?” I told her and I just lean my head on her shoulder again, I can’t look into her eyes because my guilt is killing me

“I’m sorry princess, I won’t scare you again.” I just stay silent

“Don’t be sorry, I should be the one saying sorry for not being totally honest with you….” I thought

I just continue to lean into her until my manager unnie inform me for my first number. I choose to sing another English song.  I like what I’m wearing right now, I just think it suit my taste in fashion. It was winter so it’s an appropriate outfit. I don’t a dress because I won’t be singing some ballad a pop song so I told my stylist for the outfit.

I went up to the stage with a microphone in hand and start to let myself together with music.

BLANK SPACE

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vcKf0epO8Y)

Nice to meet you, where you been?
I could show you incredible things
Magic, madness, heaven sin
Saw you there and I thought
Oh my God, look at that face
You look like my next mistake
Love's a game, want to play?
New money, suit and tie
I can read you like a magazine
Ain't it funny, rumors, lie
And I know you heard about me
So hey, let's be friends
I'm dying to see how this one ends
Grab your passport and my hand
I can make the bad guys good for a weekend

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

I was jumping on the stage and trying to be spontaneous as possible for the audience to be entertained, I was walking around the stage and jumping, waving and singing my voice out.

Cherry lips, crystal skies
I could show you incredible things
Stolen kisses, pretty lies
You're the king baby I'm your Queen
Find out what you want
Be that girl for a month
Wait the worst is yet to come, oh no

Screaming, crying, perfect storm
I can make all the tables turn
Rose gardens filled with thorns
Keep you second guessing like
"Oh my God, who is she?"
I get drunk on jealousy
But you'll come back each time you leave
'Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane (Insane)
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

I love this song, I really want some classic song when it comes to English songs but sometimes I encounter some new songs that really get my attention like this song, that’s why I decided to sing this song

Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya
Boys only want love if it's torture
Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn ya

So it's gonna be forever
Or it's gonna go down in flames
You can tell me when it's over
If the high was worth the pain
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
'Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game

'Cause we're young and we're reckless
We'll take this way too far
It'll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They'll tell you I'm insane
But I've got a blank space baby
And I'll write your name

After I song end I bow 90 degrees in the fans before I exit, I heard them yelled my name. I was so happy many fans came today.

EUNJUNG’S POV

We are in the backstage watching the other idols to perform. We left the couple in the dressing room to give them some privacy. And also because I agree to left them is I can’t see them being so sweet with each other, if I did my tears will fall down and I can’t prevent it if it start to fall.

I was in love with our maknae for almost 5 years already. I fall for Jiyeon since we debut back then, we are so close that I didn’t know it will lead to the point I was in love with her. I thought it was just a sisterly love since we are always together 24/7, but I realize it wasn’t when I started to feel some jealousy when she was fan girling Jessica ssi before when she met her. She always voice out her fascination about her, and I started to get annoyed when she was talking about Jessica ssi.

When she was talking about Jessica ssi, I always find a way to dismiss it or not to be part of that talk, my members always about her crush on her, I always stay in silent because I can’t bear to hear or see Dino being so obsess, sometimes when I went to her room during our off I always caught her stalking Jessica ssi through internet, it rather watching video on YouTube or searching in the net about her “idol”.

There was one time when we hang out in SNSD dorm, she was obviously gawking at her, and we so relieve that no one notice it except our members. When we got home that day, she literally said everything that she notices about the blonde girl.

Then I thought the things will go my way when we became busy because Dino will be no time to stalk with her “crush”, and I was planning to confess to her, two of my members’ notice my feelings for our maknae so they will help but these things happen. I was planning it last year but that faithful day happen.

Why did there’s’ so many people here in Korea that Dino was the one saw her faint that day. Why did it have to be that she’ll be the one to take care of her for that two weeks, why did it have to be that Jiyeon ah love her than me that for so many years I was on her side.

I was so annoyed when our maknae said that she is taking care of that blonde, it hurts so much when she said that she was hurting watching her love crying and drinking. Then it tore’s me apart when she tells us that she’s going to court her for three long months just to make her fall in love.

I was angry with Jessica ssi when Dino cry that day on our practice, how could she disregarded Dino like that. How could she do that to my life? She hurt her just like that when I was so overprotective to her.

But the worst day of me but the best day our beloved maknae was when we help her prepare on her confession and when she told us the Jessica ssi accept her and became her official girlfriend, it kills me inside.

So watching her with her love is like putting a salt in my wounds, but I have to endure it because I don’t want Dino pity me or became awkward with me if she learned about my feelings, or worst things worst she’ll avoid me because of it.

“Hey Eun, are you okay?” Soyeon unnie, she was one who knows my feelings along with her girlfriend Qri unnie who was behind her right now, I can tell that they are worried about me right now.

“Of course, don’t worry about me.” I smiled at them so they won’t be worried anymore

“Are you sure? Because you’ll have to endure seeing them.” Qri unnie worriedly ask

“Yes unnies, I have to get used to it, right? Let’s go to them right now, because our group was next performing.” I stand up

“Okay.”

We started to walk to the dressing room, the other members already go. It it was expected that when we enter the room we saw them sweet, Jessica ssi lying her head on Jiyeon ah lap.

I just look down and continue to walk in my sit and even Jiyeon ask me if I’m okay, I just pretended to not hear it. I close my eyes when reach my chair.

JIYEON’S POV

I was sitting on the dressing room with my girlfriend head on my lap, she was “sleeping”, which I know she is not but she pretends to be because she doesn’t want me to question her. From the start that she accepts me, I know that she really doesn’t LOVE me; maybe yes she likes me, but love? I know I have a long way to get those feelings from her.

I felt her body stiffen when she heard the voice earlier, I was not sure if it’s because of that person’s voice or the person behind that person, which is her ex, Taeyeon ssi but she didn’t know Taeyeon ssi was there not until she look up. Before she accepts me I was so sure that she was confuse about her ex and me but after I saw the way Tiffany ssi look at her and the way Sica ah look back I can see the tension about them.

I also saw the text she sent to my girlfriend, I didn’t mean to look at it, it just that one time when I was in her pad and we cuddle in the living room and watching some movies, Sica ah went to the bathroom and then her iphone6 blink and when I glance on it I saw the text, Sica probably forget to lock her phone and close her kakaotalk conversation which I was sure Tiffany ssi initiate because in her 10 texts Sica reply just once.

 Her text that day confirms her feelings about my girlfriend, and I don’t know what kind of feelings my princess feels about Tiffany ssi. Way back before I assume that Tiffany ssi was the one in her heart, because when she visit princess before, so I was really shock when I learned that her ex was Taeyeon ssi.

My thoughts interrupted when my members began to walk in to the dressing room, I notice Eunjung unnie head was down.

“Eun unnie are you okay?” I ask her and she just continue to walk, she doesn’t even look at me so I look at others unnies to ask them by mouthed “why?”, some just shrug their shoulder but Soyeon unnie mouthed back that maybe she was just tired so don’t disturb her for now.

I just obey, lately I notice that Eunjung unnie was sad, or spacing out which she doesn’t do before, but now she’s always like that, she the closes unnie I have in the group, I’m close to everyone but to her it’s different, I always felt safe to her side, I know that she won’t let me down on anything, she’s always there for me no matter what.

I’ll just ask her what her problem the next time when we are alone; I don’t want to see my closes unnie to be sad. I turn my eyes again to the “sleeping” figure in my lap. She really was beautiful, I really am lucky to be her girlfriend even though I know she just like me. I always tell her I love her but she doesn’t say it back, I understand it and I don’t want to force her to say it.

 When you love someone, you tend to became selfish, before I really didn’t believe in that because at first I thought if you love someone, you should set them free and be happy with whoever she loves. But right now I was in love and she was mine I’m becoming selfish because I don’t want to let this girl go, because I can make her happy and love her so much than others. I know I can so I don’t want to let her go, am I bad if I didn’t let her go?

“Dino, it’s our turn, so let’s get ready.” Boram unnie

“Okay unnie.”

I stare at her again for a minute before I carefully lifted her head and replace my lap by a pillow, when I know she’s in a comfortable position I kiss her forehead and head out. I walk to my members to the back stage to get ready, then we found SNSD there watching the other artist perform, which is KARA. I just found out that SNSD Yuri was girlfriend of KARA’s Park Gyuri. While waiting for the performance to end, f(x) member arrive and Krystal come near me, where I was with my member and in our left side was SNSD.

“Unnie, is your group next?”

“Yes, yours?”

“We’re already done few minutes ago. Where’s Sica unnie?”

“Resting in our dressing room, her next performance is third to the last, right?”

“I know, it was good she rest while she can.”

“Yeah, she needs to rest and sleep.”

When KARA exits the stage Hara unnie approach us.

“Unnie, nice performance.” I said to her with a smile

“She’s right unnie.” Krystal said

“Thank you, f(x) did good too, good luck to T-ara also, your next right.” She turned to me

“Yes. I hope I won’t make mistake.”

“You won’t. Where’s Sica unnie?”

“She was resting in the dressing room.” Krystal said

“Really? That’s a relief; she needs some rest so she won’t collapse again. It was lucky she was put together with you in the dressing room.”

“Yes, I was lucky indeed.” I laugh

“Yes you are.”

“Dino, let’s go.” Qri unnie

“Good luck Jiyeon ah.”

“Good luck Unnie.”

“Thank you unnie and Krys, let’s talk again after this and let’s visit Dara unnie later.”

“Okay, let’s do that.”

I smiled again at her before I walk pass the SNSD to go up stage for our performance. I can the stare their giving me, especially Taeyeon ssi and Tiffany ssi.

JESSICA’S POV

I open my eyes when I make sure T-ara is gone, I pretended to be sleep than to face my guilt towards Yeon. The guilt is growing bigger. I sit properly and stand up, I stared at my face to the mirror, I examine it and when I make sure that my makeup is okay, I walk out on the door.

I want someone to talk to so I went to 2ne1 dressing room which was IU’s dressing room also. I knock before I entered. I bow to them and smiled, they are my friends already but Dara unnie is the closes

“Sica ah, what