I was not an expert when it comes to family bonding so this chapter was not really a detail activity of them. But I still hope you’ll like it.

KRYSTAL’S POV

It was our third day here in LA and today was the second day of our family meditation, yesterday was a disaster because unnie can’t concentrate and just laugh. Our instructor told us something that we really need to do.

FLASHBACK

We are all here in the living room of our house; we decided to use this space because it was quite. This house was a private so it was rare to have noises around. We took the entire couch on the side and make space. Our instructor was briefing us before we proceed to real actions.

“Find your meditation spot, a private spot free for external disturbance, were you feel safe and comfortable. Which we decide that here in the living room. Then Sit on comfortable position, there are recommendation on sitting positions, like lotus position, sitting on the cushion. Whatever posture you choose, you sit upright to facilitate the flow of energy.” She was demonstrating us some position.

“Clear your mind, loosen yourself up and take a few deep slow breaths. Simply sit and observe, just sit back and observe the inner thoughts playing in your mind, let them float by, anything you think and feeling just observe don’t engage. Some people think this kind of meditation is forcing themselves not to think and block out all their mental thoughts but it was the opposite, you let your mind think but you really don’t engage, you can’t engage in the thought because it can ‘cause you to be annoyed, so don’t engage. The presence of these thoughts during meditation means they are being cleared one by one, which was the main focus of this session. To eliminate some thoughts that causing you to have a disturb behavior.”

She was in the front and observing us if we are listening.

“When you are done with your meditations, slowly ease into the physical state, start off being present on the physical reality around you, be aware of your physical body then slowly open your eyes. And then just sit there for some time and reflects on the thoughts and feelings that arouse on the meditation. Did you get what did I just say?”

We all nod so she said that we can start. We sit in our place, every one of us. Sica unnie was in the middle of my Mom and Dad and the three of us was in their back. We are all sitting in a cushion. We are all engaging in it when we heard some giggling of non-other than the main person of this activity.

“Oppss..Sorry guys… Let’s start again.” She was smiling at us

We then start again from the beginning and taking a deep breath when we heard her again but not a giggle but laugh. She was laughing.

“Sooyeon ah, what’s funny?” My mom ask seriously

“Nothing Mom…it’s just that…*laugh* I can’t *laugh* concentrate. Sorry guys. Shall we?” She can’t control her laugh. We just shook our head.

“Okay, let’s begin again.” The instructor said.

It was silent for the past few minutes when we heard her again laughing. ! I was getting annoyed already. I open my eyes and saw that everyone was looking at the girl lying on the floor laughing.

“Jess, are you okay?” My dad was now the one who’s asking, his voice was now controlled, and he was also getting annoyed.

“Nothing D—ad.*laugh* I just really can’t concentrate then I suddenly open my eyes and saw all of you *laugh* with a serious face and I can’t control my laugh. Sorry.” she was panting because of too much laughing.

“Okay, can we start again now?” The instructor ask, unnie nod and compose herself.

And for the 4th time she burst in to laugh again which ruin our concentration totally. We look at her with an annoyed look and I glared at her. Where sitting here for almost an hour and we can’t do anything and accomplish something because of her lack of cooperation.

“UNNIE, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” I ask her and everyone look and me shock, because I totally yelled at my unnie.

“Soojung ah, it was not a good attitude yelling at your unnie, even you are mad at them. And you Sooyeon ah, can you please concentrate.” My unnie look guiltily

“Mr. and Mrs. Jung I think it was enough for a day, we can’t do anything if she doesn’t cooperate with us, so let her rest for today and start this again tomorrow, I want to talk to her privately.”

“Okay, we leave you two alone.” Dad

We proceed all to the balcony of our house and leave the two alone. I was curious on what she’s going to say to my Sica unnie. It didn’t take long when the instructor to come to us, Sica unnie was nowhere to be found in the living room.

“Where is Sooyeon?” my mom ask

“She said she needs to rest so she’s going to her room.”

“Oh, okay. What did you two talk about?” My mom ask again

“I can’t tell you that, it was her right to tell you that, I just ask her some question which she truthfully answered, thank God. But I want to give you some advice. Encourage her to talk to you about her problem and voice out her feelings and what are her fears, because it will be the main part of her healing. Which is your main goal right? To heal her broken soul?”

“Yes, so what do you think we do for her to talk to us?”

“She needs some support, I’m advising that this three siblings is the one that can talk to her, just talk some random stop that related to her problem until she voice it out. Just use this family bonding time to do it? Do some activity and then it will lead to some sister to sister to brother talk; do you get what I mean?” We all nod.

“We will think of something, thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome, let’s continue tomorrow and for sure she going to cooperate tomorrow after our talk.”

We bid her goodbye.

END OF FLASHBACK

We are planning something for our bonding this night. A bon fire and just some barbeque party for our family in the seaside.

We are waiting for the instructor for the session today; I hope that it was far different from yesterday.

JESSICA’S POV

We are waiting for the instructor my parents hire to give us a lesson for meditation, this was really a second day supposedly but because of my attitude yesterday we ended it with nothing to accomplish. I really tried to concentrate yesterday but I really having a hard especially because when I close my eyes and tried to immerse myself into meditating the image of them in my dreams keep on appearing so to avoid myself crying because of it I try to laugh at it and lead to ruin our session, I know my family kind of annoy yesterday but I can’t help it, I need some distraction for they will not appear if I close my eyes.

I can’t forget the things that my instructor said yesterday to me. It repeats on my mind over and over.

FLASHBACK

“What do you want to talk about?” I ask the instructor

“I know your condition because your family told me about it. So I really recommend that talking to the person involve in your dream is the best solution, my session may help you a bit but talking and listening to their explanation is the better solution to your problem. Why do you refuse to hear them?”

“What to hear if I already know the reasons?” I answered with the most uninterested voice

“To hear and to know from others is different if you hear them exactly from the person involve.” She sounded concern

“------“I just stare on her blankly

“Don’t you think it’s better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder? Listening can help you, you know? Because all those happen only happen because of a reason.” She was trying to convince me but she fails because I won’t do it

“Sometimes, reasons are not really reasons; they are just stupid, nonsense and never ending excuses.” I said to her while glaring at her

“But sometimes it’s not, so talk to them and it will help your nightmare.” She still insist it

“N.O. I won’t ever talk to them and give them a right to stab me in the back again. If it’s the only thing you’ll tell me you better just go, I want to rest.” I coldly told her

I didn’t want how calmly she’s saying that to me to talk to them; she doesn’t know how much pain I was feeling no one knows so they don’t have the right to tell me what to do. I headed to my room and just lie down there thinking the words we exchange.

END OF FLASHBACK

I was still in the deep thought when my Mom taps my shoulder to inform that she arrives. We didn’t wait that long, she instructed us again what we have to do. I tried to concentrate but the thoughts that flow on my mind is all about them, so I tried hard to follow her instruction that don’t engage to the thoughts you just have to let it flow.

The thought that’s been floating on my mind was the scene on my first day of my departure where I saw them laughing. It was painful memory of me, seeing them laughing when I was trying to reach them because I can’t believe that they kick me out.

It replays over and over again in my mind, but I still tried to concentrate and not be affected by it like the instruction. I didn’t know how long I tried to concentrate but when I really can’t bear it anymore, I slowly open my eyes and see that they are all looking at me with a pity in their eyes and then I realize that my cheeks our wet. I was crying but I didn’t even realize when my eyes are close.

I stand immediately and run to my room, I don’t want to see the look in their eyes, and I don’t want to feel pathetic. I lie on my bed and my tears flow down. Why do I have to feel this way again? Why can’t I have courage to face my fears?

After a few hours of hiding on my room I shower and exit in my room, it was almost dark outside; I look for them and found them in the beach preparing for a barbeque party and a bonfire.

Yong hwa is grilling some barbeque with Dad and the girls with some maids is carrying some foods from the house and preparing it on the table. I walk towards them and help them prepare the foods.

“Unnie, you are here already. Just sit and let us to do the preparation.” Krystal sounded concern

“No, I’ll help.” I smiled to them like nothing happens.

We continue to prepare everything and when we are done, each of us sits on their respected sit.

“So, let’s eat.” My Dad said

We all started to eat and then my Mom break the silent that envelop us.

“Sooyeon ah, we’re thinking that you need to continue your rest while we are in Seoul but we know you won’t agree to it so were thinking what if you let us handle your company for a while, you’re going to debut in Japan so you’ll be having a tight schedule again.”

“What do think princess?” My Dad asks me and looks me in the eye

“Dad I know you’re busy enough to handle the Jung Empire, I don’t want to burden you. It was enough that I make you worried because of my problem.”

“Princess you’re not a burden okay? Let us handle the company for some time and give it back when know you’re already okay in everything.” My Dad insisted

“But….Okay…” I sigh; I know I can’t win over them so I just agreed

“And for your school, we already talk to your dean and she told us that you’ll just need to attend a last class on them maybe next and submit your final portfolio a month later, you’re attending classes on them for the past 9 months so they already decided to give you your degree if your last portfolio will surpass all the portfolio you submitted before, they require you to have a spring collection.”

“Eh? Really?” I excitedly ask

“Yes, congratulation Sooyeon.” My mom said

“Congrats Unnie. “ Krystal’

“Congratulation unnie, we need to celebrate this.” Nicole

“Yes, let’s toast to that, right Dad?” Yong hwa

My dad nod and Yong hwa open a bottle of red wine. We talk about my studies for a while before we proceed to talk on our career and Dad reminded us that we should take over the Jung Empire after a few more years. We can’t do anything about it because it was destine to happen; he also told us that because everyone was curious who is going to be heir of the Jung, they planning to introduce us to the world a year from now.

“Kids, your mother and I were already tired for the day so we leave you here, okay? Spend some time more together.” My dad told us after some time

“Okay Dad, goodnight!” I answered them

We give them a goodnight kiss before they leave us; we gather around on the bon fire and let the maids to clean the rests. We are just watching the night and grilled hotdog with marshmallow in the bon fire when Nicole asks me.

“Unnie, don’t you think it’s about time for you to talk to them, it’s almost been a few months since it happen, but still you refuse for their explanation, waeyo?”Nicole

I was shock for the sudden topic Nics ask. I want to relax my mind and don’t think about them but because Nics ask about them everything that happen came back like it was yesterday.

“Can we not talk about them?” I ask her calmly

“But unnie, you can’t just keep on refusing to talk about it or talk to them because it was you who’s having a hard time.” Nicole said concern voice

“Yes Noona, sooner or later you have to deal with it.” Yong hwa

“Guys, I’m doing okay, not talking about it or talking to them, so don’t push it.” I know they are trying to let me voice out my feelings about this but no, I won’t

“Unnie, I know you’re mad, hate, angry or even furious about them, I was also because they hurt you, but it doesn’t mean we can avoid them forever, we talk about this, me, unnie, oppa, mom, dad when Nicole unnie told them about your condition, Mom said that even though we can’t forgive them but it doesn’t mean we need to cut our connection to them, unnie you told Nicole unnie that her relationship with Hyoyeon unnie