“he’s here!!!”

The doorbell rang and in a less than 3 seconds the old grandpa opened the door to the menager.

All the vixx member greeted him with low heads and a faint smile.

“are you sure you don’t want to stay a little bit more so you can eat something, I can make some jijigae for everybody”

“then we would ask too much, you already helped us enough we don’t want to take any more time from you, thank you for everything” the manager quickly bowed giving the others a look as a “let’s go”.

The member all thanked and greeted the old couple which waved to them and bided them a safe trip.

Jumping inside the van made most of the member relieved because they could finally feel the end of that tremendous journey and finally be on the road to the so loved home, all apart someone.

N didn’t feel the joy that the other were having he actually wanted to remember them that when they will get home there will be no nice word but only scolding and probably a police investigation which would bring negative attention to the group, but he didn’t say a word.

He thought it was probably best to let them taste a little bit of peace before the storm.

The time passed slowly and painfully in the car with the loudness of silence, N tried to fell asleep but it was meaningless whenever he could feel he was going to the dreamland he would only be brought back by the bumping of the car on the ruined road, he was actually starting to get annoyed, but still keep it for himself considering he didn’t want to make any scene especially when the other looked so worn out on the back sit.

He sighed as he started to rethink of what happened for the 1000 times thinking how proud/happy he was that the other members didn’t let him in danger and helped him, but also he started thinking about how bad it could have ended…. What if the house exploded? what if that wasn’t alone and someone was helping him and would have closed the door making them all burn to ashes? … it gave him chills and made him feel hurt in the middle of his chest.

N kept glancing behind to see Hongbin Ravi and Hyuk all with their head on each other shoulder sleeping peacefully and Leo and Ken also asleep in their respective places.

they all looked okay but it was undeniable that the stress of these days were on their face, N hoped they would have no problem going out to eat Hyuk’s gopchang ….

sigh…yes “they” where his name wasn’t included not because he didn’t like gopchang, but mainly because with time passing he was getting more and more sure about what choice he would be making … he never though he would be leaving vixx like this.

he honestly thought Leo or Ken would be the first to leave the group because they would be re-scouted by a bigger agency with more money flowing, but still didn’t actually think they would go, he actually didn’t think that any of the member would leave but if he really has to point someone he would say them….

He started thinking how he would leave, he obviously didn’t want to leave when they were already at home the other wouldn’t let him off so easily they would get angry and probably swear at him and say all those bad thing they never said to him before making him feel more miserable …. And also he didn’t want to deal with the bawling of their company ceo…

he was tired … really tired….

it was selfish he knew that, but he really didn’t wanted to deal with it , especially when he was a victim and it made him angry thinking that they would get the blame for having almost lost their life by the hand of a psyco and probably they wouldn’t get a “why?” it happened…

thinking about useless, stupid, arrogant, soulless and every other bad words he knows for those netizien who would jump against them to have someone to hate for compensate their miserable life… more he thought about it more he was near to just jump off the car that was moving in hope to run away from everything…

He started to wonder if he actually opened the door of the van if he would get hurt or if he jumped in another way he would roll like a nija etc…

But who was he kidding he was a coward after all ….

“guys I need to pee, I will stop for some minute to the auto grill I bet there will be food so if you wanna go, do it now” alerted the manager waking everybody’s up.

The manager entered and old parking lot of an even more old autogrill surrounded by tree…and many little roads that would be impossible to cross with a car.

The fact that it wasn’t abandoned or it ever had costumers was a surprise.

The van came to an alt “okey 20/30 minutes and we will leave ... if you dare make me wait more I will promise you I will leave you here .. got it ?”

Everybody nodded, they kind of missed their manager but now they already started to not feeling that anymore.

“I’m kinda hungry I hope they have some sandwich at a low price” said Hyuk unbuckling his seatbelt

“we are literally in an old road I bet the price will be 10 time lower than the Seoul’s” hongbin snorted while shaking Ravi awake

“just leave him so maybe he will get that we can’t babysit him and waste time on waking him up every DAMN time”

“since when are you so mean?”

“since when do you care for others?”

“YAH…. KEN HONGBIN GO STUFFING YOUR MOUTH WITH SOMETHING TO EAT” scolded the manager while going in the direction of the bathroom.

“I’ll wake him up go inside we will join you” said Leo tapping their shoulder

Ken and Hongbin pouted and sighed without looking at each other and went inside with Hyuk following the manager

“N are you still dozing of?”

“no … I …I… I just not that hungry that’s all”

“are you sure? I doubt the manager will make another stop soon and he’s kind of giving me cold vibe lately”

“I’m sure, I don’t ...”

“or do you feel safer in the car? I can pick something and return immediately and we can eat together …. And maybe tell me what’s bothering you”

“no, I’m serious go I’ll stay here”

“I know you don’t like staying alone … you know you can talk to me”

“Taek....”

“mmmmmmmmmmmmmm …. uere arr uee??”

Ravi stirred opening his eyes with difficulty

“autogrill the other are inside eating”

“I’m huuuuuuuuungry” yawned Ravi

“come on go both of you, or the manager will return and you will not eat anything”

Leo looked at N with sad eyes but still he was hungry and he knew how N was irremovable from his choice so he helped Ravi out of the car and went inside

N rested his head on the car window his eyes never leaving his team mates, sighing watching them going inside thinking that he will surely miss all of them.

“I wonder if we will see each other again… uff..” N felt wet on his face and he noticed he started crying

“what’s wrong with me now? do my eyes have a problem why I can’t control them …I really need to know if there is a way for making it impossible for them to cry dammit” N sniffed a couple of time and dried his eyes with his sleeve and took deep breath

“come on N you know you can’t wait more … come on breath in and out … breath in and out” he closed his eyes for a sec keeping repeating the same mantra.

He opened his eyes and with all the strength he could have he opened the car’s door “Now or never” N thought and began running