….. *bip bip *….......................*bip bip *

“patient one, male, with a laceration on left shoulder ,the bullets passed through ,need blood suply and 10 point ,in state of dehydration “

N felt his body heavy and couldn't find any strenght to move ,but his ears where hurting by different sounds.

The heart monitor which was the loudest when he was waking up was now notthing in comparision of the sound of the ambulance's siren and the people that kept touching him...

He wanted to look his side but the hurting of his body made it difficult and the fear of what he could see also stopped him doing so , till

“patient two, male some bruise ,mainly a head councussion ,wich seem to be the reason of his death in need of an aoutophsy for certification...”

“L..E..o , help him...someone help him.....”

the operator stoped talking “hey whats your name ?”

N didn't want to respond to that, he was the one wanting answear

“please sir I need to know your name , do you know who you are ?”

“N, IT'S N ...please...please where is ...my friend ?”

“okey N I need you to stay awake and tell me if you know, what happened?”

“i...want..to know..where is my friend ...”

N was getting histeric ,why they weren't telling him what he wanted to know ?,and keep pressuring him with question he had barely the energy to reply .

The ambulance stopped and if the sound were loud before now everything become louder and louder, many people talking ,the paramedic saying random stuff he didn't understand .

But again the sound become weaker and weaker

“let him breath , his pression is..” and everything returned silent again. 

and dark

This time everything was silent he opened his eyes with less difficutly and felt like his body was light ,he blinked few time before his eyes adjusted to the light

“HE IS AWAKE “

he recognized this voice …. it was Ravi voice ..

Ravi was reached by other peoples that he recognized gladly.

Hyuk that had some bandage ,Ken that looked like he didn't wash for days ,Hongbin that looked like he didn't sleep for days …. they all looked a mess .

“Hyung you are awake “

“the doctor sayd to not stress him out and let him have some space” sayd immediately Hongbin

“i am! I didn't jump on him”defended Ken who only wanted to stay as close as possible to his leader.

N wanted to just roll his eyes at the bicker ,but couldn't stop trying to hold a gaze to at least one of them to know ...he was scared ,but he wanted to know..

“Leo ?” his eyes where already starting to water “he is …. please he is not “

Ravi immediately grabbed N hand trying to confort him “he is resting in...” N heart was breaking in a million of pices and could feel his breathing come to an alt “ ...i mean he is alive ,but he is resting ...in the other room “ immeadiatly defending himself while hugging N who started breathing again ,but was now crying .

All the member surrounded N conforting him with nice words who sighed in relief

“he actually still didn't wake up” sayd Hongbin

“they told us he lost a lot of blood and had dangerous wound ….but they sayd he will..he will be okey ..and“

In that moment the police entered the room and that made everybody quiet “the doctor allerted us you wake up sir and we need to ask you some question … in private “

Hongbin was the first one that was about to interject ,but was sushed by Hyuk who rushed him out of the room with the others...

“so we have the other people version … now we need yours..”

“i don't know where to start”

“fair enough what about we start from when you where in the woods “

“i was with the other member ,wait ,but didn't they already told you ? Why ? You think I was at fault “

“sir we just need your version “

“let me gues the menager told you I...”

“SIR ! it's procedure and....your menager si dead , we need to know how it happened ,was he in the car when you crashed ? Is the one that was with you the one driving ? is...”

“okey okey I... when … since I know my member already told you till what they saw I will just cut the chase , I was the one driving the car ,but the menager had a knife pointed and my friend and threatened to kill him if I didn't ….apparently he had another gun hiden under the seat ,my friend tried to free himself , he shot and the sound made me loose control of the car …...........” he knew it was hurting him talking about it now,when he just wanted confort ,but he knew he couldn't runaway 

outside the room Hongbin waited till the cops went away to enter the room , N was in his tought playing with hands “knock knok ?”

“since when you are so formal ?“ asked N with no malice

“i just ,wanted to talk to you and I don't know patch things up ?”

“you know we don't have anything to patch up ,i actually... have to be the one asking for forgiveness... I was in the wrong and also petty and blinded by anger ...i really really love you all .and don't want anything bad happening to any of you ...and ...i actually think I deserve your critic since because of me Leo is hurt ,and could have died “

“you know that's not true ,the menager was crazy and he was ready to kill both of you if one of you didn't react “

“NO , it is my fault if Leo Is in a super bad shape I ...i...was the one who cause the accident “

“but you did it to save...”

“it's not that Hongbin....Leo was awake in bad shape that's true ,but I could have drove on the other way toward all of you instead I went directly at the menager on pourpose. I wanted to kill the menager ,i was in rage ,b..b..but I put Leo in a worse danger ,i couldn't care less about me I just wanted revenge ,and didn't think that the menager could have shot Leo instead and in a more fatal way ….. I didn't think.. at all “

Hongbin was silent watching his leader and his eyes cry

“you ...yes...i thought …. yes you were stupid ,but the one who will criticize you or scold you will be and only be Leo ...because I can't act as if I would't have done something like that myself...i probably would have shot him with the gun “

“i bet you hoped it was Leo the one waking up first right ? The hyung that actually protected all of you and defended you “

“hyung you are probably tired”

“you do ,no ?”

“I JUST WANT BOTH OF YOU SAFE !! we fight we aren't perfect we accused each other like kids we all have fault none of us is actually perfect ”

“i'm sorry I really am”

“i know and for me that's enough ,maybe next time we should trust each other more and stay togheter no matter what”

N nods and Hongbin couldn't stop feeling bad for his leader now a broken man .

Two day passed and N was discharged from the hospital the news of their “adventure “ made the news and was on every portal site with people being shoked and some complotist making up theory were the menager was a victim and was being used for mediaplay for the group, but after two days it was burried by a dating scandal of a famous group and people were quick to move on .

It was weird ,but that's how the media worked .

Five other day passed till everybody heard a good news

“HE OPENED HIS EYES “Hyuk started running with his phone by hands “THE DOCTOR JUST CALLED “

everybody went all direct to the hospital to see their friend in hope to be togheter with him as soon as possible.

They arrived at the hospital and were greeted by the police ...”AGAIN “ tought N...

two officer where talking in the room with a barely awake Leo meanwhile another one was near the door making the members wait .

“what if we go take something to eat at the vending machine while we have to wait ?so by the time we return with the food in hands we can talk with hyung ” proposed Hyuk feeling the tension in the air

“you are really telling us to bring food in front of Leo who probably can't eat for now ? That's mean hyogy ”

“you know I don't actually mean to use food to bother him or annoy him”

“he still love to eat ,it's not nice”

“let's just sit here and wait then “ slounched Ken in a chair near the room

all five just sat while talking about lil stuff here and there ,but N couldn't stop the unsetling emotion that was ading him .

What if that was the end ? He didn't want to be negative,but what if … Leo would actually press charge against him … could he really blame him ?..no it was more probable for Leo to just be the one getting stuff done …

“so if anything come to your mind you know where to call” huffed the police officer coming out from the room.

He didn't give any sign to acknowledge any one and just went straight for the exit of the ward ,meanwhile both his collegue bowed to all of them and went behind him.

“let's go” N raised immediately to his feet deciding to not even think and just go inside

Leo looked at them immediately smiling at them “oh finally” he looked tired and his skin was really pale apart from red lines here and there 

“we had to wait for an eternity outside, the police officer really took their time” rumbled Hongbin

“they where doing their job”Leo sayd while trying to put himself in a better position

Ravi immediately went to Leo side to help him“but you just woke up ,it's kinda tactless ”

“well ...”

* stomach rumble sound * Leo looked at Ravi who just scoffed and acted as if no one heard the growl of his stomach

“you are all probably hungry ,why didn't you just pick up something from the vending machine while you waited?”

“well that's what I sayd too but..cough ..ahi why did you hit me ? ”

“because we will go in a bit, don't worry hyung ” Ravi intergected against Hyuk 

Hongbin glanced at N and immediately tough that both of his hyungs needed to talk alone and that with the full group it would be more difficult.

“let's instead go buying something from the bar outside of the hospital so we can eat there and not bother Leo with the smell of delicious food” grinned hongbin

“you are horrible ”stated Leo never losing his smile

N was about to say his goodbye when Hongbin gave him the eye ,and N just realized and sighed.

“yeah go ,i will stay with him and then when one of you is finished we can change ”

the members nooded and went while bickering to what to eat.

“i'm so jelous” sighed leo seeing them going out

“don't worry I bet the doctor will soon enough give you food “

“not delicious rose pasta,ramen...”

“they will give you some chiken broth”

“fried chiken ,toobuki,fried octopus...”

“you normally shouldn't even eat those they are unhealty “

“hamburger, chips,pizza ,donuts”

“will you keep going for long ?”

“let me be for once” sighed the now hungry Leo

“does it hurt ? I mean everywhere anywhere ”

“my head is light and I barely feel my body ..i think they gave me the good amount of painkiller"

“i see “

“i told them I don't remember “

“what ? Why ?”

“many reason ...first of all who corner someone who just wake up ?i could barely tell where I was and these people where on my face smelling of cigarets asking me this and that ,and sorry ,but i'm no saint and I hoped they would just go away ,even if they kept asking and asking so I just brushed them of saying that if I remember something I will call them later...and also I didn't know what you told them ,but by the way they where talking I assumed you weren't accused of anything so I prefered to be like I always am ….silent”

The leader had no words

“but you should tell them what happened is not right to lie”

“they already know what happened you told them no ?”

“..yes I did ,but you have to give your side as well “

“why ? It dosen't change anything, the guy is dead and that's it, we should move on”

“move on ? So it mean you don't want to talk about it “

“call me a narcisit ,but I can already tell I will need to pass days in the hospital ...eat the hospital food and not being able to just go on stage without the feeling of people being scared I will get hurt...it does kinda bring me back to when I had to leave my future in football when I was younger and all those emotion are stabbing me already …. I rather think of getting back up and look at the future rather than just staying in the past... even if it will not be easy “

“but what aboout us? I mean we fought ,i put you in danger”

“forget it “ N glared at Leo who wasn't surprised

“why you look like you want me to throw something at you ?”

“because no one is …..everybody are acting so … so ..ugh... why is everybody acting as if everything is fine and I didn't do anything wrong when not even some weeks ago yall would accuse me of stupid I didn't do ,while the reason why you are here is because of me ….it make no sense”

“what if I did ?”

“what?”

“what if I accuse you of being irresponsble ? Do you think it would change anything ? I'm still here ,you are still here we would obviously just make peace after no ?it's better to not keep hurting just for pride and rather stay togheter and live on”

“since when you make sense ?”

“then apologize to me if it make you feel better “

“this ….is not about me feeling better I just...i don't want to loose any of you ,but at the same time you can't lie and say you don't feel a type of way against me after everything.even if the menager is dead i still feel so angry at that piece of ,for what he did and what he was so near to be able to do, so why wouldn't you feel at least a lil bit the same toward me ... who put you and the others in danger “

“i never once thought you where the killer and I bet the others where just scared than anything “

“but”
“let me finish ...in the woods ,i'll be honest I was dissapointed by you actually being the one who accused Hongbin just for revenge”

“revenge ? I “

“cut it out N , be honest you didn't think any of the member could actually hurt each other phisically,but I get it, we were ALL on a huge mentally turmoil to begin with and on the moment we feared someone could actually hurt us you actualy tought the trust you lost for us was enough to be the reason to believe that one of us was actually the killer and not that you where angry and hurt by Hongbin to begin with”

“i'll be honest ,i really don't know .. neither what to think neither what to feel ...it's so ....“

“what about focusing on what you feel now ? For one moment think about now ,not the past or random thoughts... just now ,here ,you and me here what you feel .. be honest “

“i feel confused ,but i'm also relived to see you awake ,happy to see the happyness of the members, they really missed you .. I missed you and I feel also sad that I could have lost you”

“see you are slowly going back in the past ,i'm here, keep thinking of now … for the past ..i think we will both just go to therapy “

“you make it sound so easy “
“because it is ,i mean not talking about everything and try to move on ,but searching the number of someone who actually know what we should do with our emotions and feeling is easy, we are ALL victim”

“but it just make me feel even more like I'm broken”

“we sorta were a lil bit broken before you know...our constant not telling each other our fear or feeling as if is some sort of monster we have to hide “

“do you think everything will go back like before ?”

“hope not ,we survived a killer if that wasn't enough to make us more responsible I don't think anyhting else will”

Leo took N hands ,to give a confort

“why everybody is conforting me and not the opposite “

“because you always did and we always took it from granted ,but we mostly never gave it back to you...i'm sorry”

N raised to his feet not caring for the chair losing balance and crushing on the ground and huged Leo in a strong hug “i will not cry “ mumbled N huging Leo

“it's okey” came a childish voice of Ken form the door also joining the hug from behind N “let's have a hugh party”

“that's so cringe “ came Hongbin voice joining as well

Hyuk and Ravi as well behind joined to hug as well.

The hugh lasted some seconds ,but it was enough to make all their hearts overflow of this conforting warm feeling that they all needed and craved for a long time.

"who eat fried chicken ?"