January 8, 2013

Taecyeon's POV 

I went to go visit Jinwoon at the hospital. The doctors were checking up on him so I had to wait in the hall.

"So you guys aren't dating...?" I was talking with Jiyeon on the phone. Apparently she wanted to talk about Suzy and me. Her favorite subject as of right now.

"Yah, how many times do I have to tell you? N-O. No." Saying it out loud did make me sad.

"But you guys both like each other....You guys don't make sense." Jiyeon couldn't understand the fact that we weren't ready for a relationship. Well, just Suzy anyways. I for one am totally ready. I think. Originally, I never planned on dating in highschool but that was only because I thought no one would like me. Now, someone actually likes me so hey, why not? Honestly, if we did...hehe she'd be my first girlfriend. Yeah, I know. I am 17 and still haven't had my first girlfriend let alone first kiss...I am so lame. Ugh maybe I am not ready...Crap now I am having doubts. Alright don't laugh please but I am quite sensitive when it comes to the whole "love" topic. I am a strong believer in "first loves". I think they are fantastic and that you would be lucky to have your first love as your last as well. Something about it catches my attention. Although they are rare to happen that way, I have always wanted to be one of those lucky ones. Then I thought, do I even love Suzy? I am really attracted to her, yes but maybe I might be rushing into things. And if I did "love" her, what if she didn't love me back? All these worries ran through my mind. "Yah, Taec! Are you still there?" I forgot I was speaking with Jiyeon.

"Ooo deh, mianhe. I was just thinking..." 

"Okay well anyways, how's Jinwoon doing?" Oh , I also forgot that I was in the hospital. Damn it, I should stop what I am thinking.

"Oh yeah, um well the doctors look like they just left so I am going to go inside. Want to talk to him?" I sat up from the bench and walked to the room.

"..Ani. I'll just speak to him in person." Lately, Jiyeon's been afraid of speaking to Jinwoon because of his change in attitude. Actually, she wouldn't even be able to talk to him since he refuses to talk to anyone. He's been silent ever since he woke up. All he does is just sleep, sit, and stare. It's hard to get him to eat. He would either turn away from it or toss it aside. I worry about him, well all of us worry about him. No one knows exactly what or why he's like this. And he's obviously not going to tell us anytime soon. Many of our friends gave up on trying to work with him and visited less because he would always be a stubborn . I'm like the only one who still comes and visits. Myungsoo too every now and then. But seriously, it's sad. Everyday right after school, I would walk to the hospital and see how Jinwoon's doing. Usually, I would stay for hours doing nothing because he doesn't do anything. On lucky rare days, maybe he might move an inch or two. Maybe even make the slightest of noise. That's basically it. Sometimes I wonder why I still come. 

I walked inside Jinwoon's room, "Hey Jin, how are you?" Of course I didn't recieve a response. I never do whenever I say something to him. It's more for the uplifting thought of it. Jinwoon was sitting s