A white majestic horse galloped slowly across the pastures, passing the streets of blooming flowers that moved with the winds. The white fluff from the dandelions danced to the breeze and brushed against the skin of its riders. A long haired lady who sat comfortably in the front of the horse, enveloped by a much taller man who commanded the horse from behind, brought her fingers to her lips and retrieved one of the fluff that landed. It left a refreshing tinkle on her lips and her healing heart. She smiled as it reminded her of the gentle touches from the man she loved.

There are many mysteries in her mind, but she shoved away all her questions cause nothing is more important than meeting her long lost husband. It was a miracle she survived. She was much more fortunate than the other. She recalled the very events that led to her close call with death, and she still couldn't understand what happened back there.

"That day, the palace of Akunami was in a state of frenzy. Kobayashi was furious when he heard that Aoihoshi waged war against them, this was clearly nothing he expected. We thought we have met our end, but we weren't ranting or hating on Ainosuke for making such a decision. In fact, we hoped he chose the people over us. We hugged each other and poured out all our feelings to each other which we never shared before. Ainosuke was clearly one of our topics, and we are immensely worried that he couldn't get over our deaths. However, there was nothing else we could do for him but pray that he walks out from the grief. But we weren't the only one who worries about this. Someone else, we never expected came. This person was Keito

he brought in one other female with a black hood over. He told us that he regretted betraying Ainosuke, he never meant to betray him. He admitted to be swayed by temptations cause Kobayashi promised him riches. he said he only promised information that would not jeopardize the safety of Ainosuke and his country, but as time passes, when he realised Kobayashi's intentions, he's too deep in that he couldn't pull away anymore. He said he tried to stop Inoo but he's too obsessed with his own greed that he just couldn't stop. Then he decided to play along and do his best to become a  double spy. he'll do anything to redeem himself, and that included saving us. However, circumstances were such that he only had the capacity to save one of us and ensures that one gets out safely."

"and Riko chose you"

"I am not sure if it's the right choice but yes, she insisted I should be the one. I am supposed to be dead so dying now would have rectified things to the way it is. She's different, she is Queen! she needs to continue to help Ainosuke and she's the only one who could openly "

"I guess I know why she chose you. I would have too if I were her"

"why?"

"cause you are the princess of Shiroku forever. dead or alive, she knew you were much more needed by his side. if there's something you should know, despite their marriage and even after having Daichi, their relationship has remained largely contractual. During your marriage, we were optimistic that the two of you will get closer and we were right, you two became inseparable. As for Riko, it was almost indefinite that he only saw her as his sister."

"I saw them really close"

"you're wrong then. you're the only one he let into his heart. He didn't want to upset her so he force himself to treat her beyond brother-sister"

"it's all too late anyway. I wanted to go back to him sooner but when I finally fled out of the palace, the whole of Akunami is in a mess. it's not like I could show myself simply to Aoihoshi's guards since I'm supposed to be dead. I was also cut off from all contacts with you guys. When I finally get to Aoihoshi, I realised I was really late. I didn't even get to see his last breathe"

She heard a soft sigh from behind her, followed by some murmurs but she couldn't make the words.

"Well, Mirai you accepted his death much better than he did for yours"

"so it's like the rumors said is it? he died of grief? it's what we feared... it all came true."

"it's not far from truth"

"what exactly happened? couldn't you just tell me? you are acting so secretive, bringing me all the way to Shiroku. Whatever it is, I can handle it, so lets just go straight to the point"

"be patient, Mirai. I'll tell you after we reach, then you could understand better"

"where exactly are you bringing me? you said there's someone I have to meet.. who? it's not my parents right?"

"no, not your parents, but someone who could fill you in about what happen while you were gone...and here we are..." the horse stopped and Yuto got off, then stretched out his hand to help Mirai down. Mirai was baffled as to why Yuto brought her to an average looking apartment which stands in an isolated street. What amuses her was that this apartment seemed out of place cause there's no other apartments around. It is surrounded by a lavender field which sends ripples of pleasant fragrance in all directions, calming the senses of its guests. it's a scene too dreamy and captivating. she thought it appeared in her dreams before, perhaps something likened to her dream house, so tranquil, so serene.

 Who could be the owner to this apartment, she impatiently rushed to the transparent window that showed the interior and leaned closer for a peek. Yuto did not stop her and so she focused her eyes and ears to what awaits her within. it was nothing she imagined...

A man, with short, brownish hair, was facing her with a familiar back view. He looked exhilarated while chatting with a lady who looks sweet but her gestures were awkward. Mirai wasn't sure in what way is the lady's reaction unnatural but she just knew something on her didn't seem like a norm. 

"Kitaura, lets quickly eat so Niichan will allow us to go out and play!" Mirai heard the guy say. His voice sounded oddly familiar, yet this enthusiastic remark was too childish to come from a man. it was too child-like, she thought. Then, she looked closer when the 2 excitedly dug into their table of food. She was appalled when the two adults put on a bib around their necks. Bibs aren't meant for adults, they were meant for children who make a mess during meal time so it prevents them from dirtying their tops. But when she looked at the way they held their utensils, she was almost sure they weren't exactly the normal kind of people she thought. They clutched their spoon and forks with their fist instead of fingers. to put it crudely, she thought they didn't appear mentally sound. 

She began to feel impatient with Yuto's guessing game, so she turned around and confronted him.

"I really don't understand why I'm wasting my time here. I don't know them and I don't see how meeting them can solve the questions I have."

"at least one of them has the answer you need. just look closely..." he cupped her shoulder and ushered her to the window once again. she pinned her eyes to the transparent glass and watched on.

Another man walked out from the room beside and approached the 2 at the dining table. Upon closer examination, she realised she knew this figure anywhere.

"Yuto, isn't he Yamada Yu?... so he knows what's going on?" Mirai fixated her gaze at the window but her hands are clutching Yuto's sleeves and shaking his arms nervously. Yuto did not reply cause he knew the answers she need will be revealed in a matter of a split second.

"Oi! the two of you! I told you guys to hold your utensils properly... and Ryosuke, your face has rice all over" she heard Yu's words loud and clear. Her hands dropped and her heart stopped when she knew what she heard. That name, long forgotten in everyone's memories, is uttered so simply this time. It cannot be the same Ryosuke she knew however, cause there's no way this weird man is him and even if it's possible, this could only be his soul since the body has been buried underground. She shook her head profusely to show her disbelief but when the man turned his head towards Yu for the latter to remove the rice grains, his side profile was enough to debunk her beliefs. 

Her legs weakened so much that she took a few steps back and almost fell backwards, fortunately, Yuto caught her. He knew Mirai would have such a reaction cause if he himself hadn't encountered the man previously, he would have the same reaction as Mirai. No one could ever imagine how a fine young, healthy, athletic, strong-willed man could end up in this mentally desolate state. 

"n-no... no no no... this is not him.. it can't be... it's just someone who look like him, go by the same name, but it just can't be him..." Mirai continued to shake her head profusely though this time, it wasn't to express her stand but it was meant to psycho herself to belief contrary to what her eyes showed her. She emotionally pushed Yuto away and dashed towards the door, nearly wrenching open the door knob when Yuto grabbed her firmly by his arms and pulled her away.

"Let me go! I want to ask why he is feigning him!!! he's making fun of Ainosuke!" She yelled when Yuto cupped her shoulders and face her sternly. Still she refused to listen to whatever Yuto has to say.

"Listen!!!"

"No!! I'm not gonna listen!!!"

"You're not gonna listen because you know what you saw is true! and that's exactly what I'm gonna tell you! This is Ainosuke, only that he is no longer the same as we remembered anymore! The Ainosuke we loved, adored, respected, he's dead the same time he knew you and Riko did."

"h-how?!! It can't be... no... it's ridiculous!" Mirai crouched on the ground and cupped her ears, with tears rolling down like the Amazon River. this scene wasn't new to Yuto cause visitors to this particular apartment have all showed similar reaction, though Mirai's cries could be one of the most heartbreaking one he heard thus far.

He gently grabbed her two hands from her ears and pulled them apart so she could clearly listen to what he has to say next.

"no matter how much you hate to hear, I have to tell you what happened. isn't that what you've been asking and wondering all these while, probing me about this throughout the journey here.. so I'm gonna tell you exactly what you should know..."

He looked into her reddened eyes and painfully recalled the happenings since the fall of Akunami.

"Ainosuke was extremely weak after he learnt about the kidnap. he was in and out of coma during the time of the battle due to high fever. but when he's awake, he gave out crucial instructions to propel the army, hence the victory.  When he learn of the fall of Akunami, he was alert and I remembered his long-lost genuine smile. But such happiness was short-lived, cause soon Ryutaro brought back 3 charred bodies which were alleged to be yours, Riko and Keito's remains. He was already trembling by then, his face was pale like paper and his lips was almost colourless. Still, he insisted that unless he verifies it himself, he would not believe that the bodies belong to the three of you. So one by one, he pulled away the white cloth, revealing the body that were burnt beyond recognition. When he reached the second body, he found a ring tightly enclosed in her palm and knew at once that was Riko's. He was almost on the verge of collapsing then and when we stopped him from going on to the third body, he just shrugged us away forcefully. When he retrieved the ring from the third body's hand which he recognized it as yours, he stared in silence for almost a whole minute. there was no tears in his eyes, as though it has all dried up. When we tried to ask him to exit the depressing mortuary, he turned hysteric. He shouted and cried so loudly, pushing us all away as he dashed towards your remains. The scene was so torturing even when i recall it now. We had to restrain him as he just went completely out of control. he cried and cried as he struggled in our arms then finally he slipped into unconsciousness. I still remembered the last tear that rolled down his shut eyes when he was carried back to his chamber..."

"last tear?"

"because I never saw him cry again after that, even if he did, the tears shed were not of sadness but fear...."

"fear? was something hurting him?"

"yes, there were so many things hurting him by the time he reopened his eyes about one week later. Those pair of eyes filled with fear and only fear remained so vivid in my memories.  in his eyes, all of us, me, Yuya, Hikaru, Yabu, Daiki and even  Chinen were hurting him. He was so frightened of us that he just crouched in one corner of his chamber as if we were chasing him with a saw. his cries and his screams echoed through the palace everyday. What's more, he don't remember any of us, not even his own son, Daichi. The doctor saw him and diagnosed him with a severe case of mental depression such that he locks the most painful part of his memory away, hence those who have put him through the endless ordeals were rendered as his bullies whom he feared. The doctor also said that it seemed his intelligence has been deliberately reduced to that of a 6 year old which perhaps could be the time he hoped to return. His actions, his speech, were worst than his son. The maidens and guards were almost babysitting him if you were there at the scene looking at him day by day. Umika was probably the only one he allowed close without making him go insane, but other than that, he was flinging food, throwing tantrums likened to a kid. .. Frankly, I once thought that it would be better if he had died. I'm sure all of us thought of this at least once, cause seeing him suffering internally and not being able to voice it out was so painful. None of us could be physically there for him. Then one day, Umika came to Chinen and told him Ainosuke actually uttered Yu's name. Though we couldn't bear to let him go, we had to seeing his condition detoriating. He cannot stay in the palace cause it only cause him more agony, hence we had no choice but to send him to Yu... not only that, we thought Aoihoshi isn't a good place for recuperation for Ainosuke so we sent him away to a place completely new to him so it doesn't trigger any sad recollections. What you see now, is way better than what we saw. Though he still acted like a child, at least I could see him smile, so brightly that is contagious even if I'm standing afar."

"he's not gonna be stuck like this forever, am I right?! if he sees me alive, he'll remember me and he'll recover right?!" Mirai desperately clutched Yuto's arms and jerked profusely.

"I hope so, Mirai. The doctor never said he would not recover... he only said that unless he dares to unlock his previous memories and face his traumatic experiences again, then he'll forever trapped in the mentality of a child."

"no, he'll recover! i'm sure he will! the Ainosuke I know will not give up to challenges, not then,not now too!" Mirai dashed towards the door only to be held back one last time by Yuto.

"Promise me you'll be strong for him..."

"I will and I'll bring Ainosuke back"

Yuto gave an uncertain smile as he really do not know what's best for his friend anymore. He saw the innocent smile on Ryosuke's face and could understand he is genuinely happy at this point. What he doesn't know is that if he remembered everything that happened from the time of his birth all the way to the dramatic twist to his life story, would he still smile so happily. He thought he was being too pessimistic cause clearly, he would remember Mirai of all people since she is THE person he will give his whole life to love. If there's one person who could bring him back with no regrets on his part, it would be her.

However, his uneasiness was proved not to be unfounded when Mirai swing open the door, and a familiar scream of hysteria travelled to Yuto's ears and almost shattering the windowpanes. Yuto dashed to where the action was and felt his heart tightened at the familiar replay of events.

"go away!!! Niichan, she's gonna hurt me!!! Kitaura, save me!!!" Ryosuke screamed as if petrified by her entrance and hid behind Yu.

"It's me Mirai! don't you remember me?" Mirai cried and moved closer, but he only backed away further and reduced himself to a corner, crouching down and cupping his ears while shouting desperately "Go awayyyy!!! don't hurt me!!!!"

"I'm not hurting you... I'm your wife, remember...."

"no no noooooo! go away!!! Niichan, Kitaura, save me!!!"

The lady, Kitaura, who seemed mentally unsound as well, charged herself towards Mirai and pounced on her.

"you're a monster. go away,I'll protect Ryosuke!" it sounded ridiculous, yet there's no room for laughters. The physical pain inflicted on her by Kitaura didn't match up to that of the fearful look Ryosuke gave her. it's just too much for her to bear that she stood motionless and became Kitaura's punching bag. it's only when Yuto came forth and tugged Mirai under his arms and shielded her that Kitaura finally backed away. Yu was startled by Mirai's sudden appearance but he too was taken aback by his brother's reaction to her. he thought Mirai would have jogged his memory in a good way, instead it was nothing like he thought. Yu ran towards his medical box and took out a syringe and filled it with a pinkish liquid. When Ryosuke saw what his brother took, he went frantic "Niichan, no no I don't want that. it's painful..."

"sorry Ryosuke. it will make you feel better after that..." Yu forcefully took his brother by his arms then forced the needle through the center of his arms where his veins was most evident.

"itaiiiii!!!!!!!!" he yelled then his struggles weakened and his voice softened.

"I hate you... I hate you" he repeated weakly while staring specifically at Mirai with his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. Soon he rested on Yu's arms  with his frown still worn across his brows. 

*****
Still shivering from the events that flashed through in the last few minutes, she stood outside a door to a room and peeked in from a small gap, with her eyes peeled at the tired Ryosuke who laid down on a bed, deep in his sleep. Kitaura was sitting beside him, clutching his hand tightly, as if telling him that he would not be hurt by anyone, especially Mirai. Mirai felt insulted by the scene, yet those fearful look on Ryosuke left vivid scars in her heart and tears that never ran scarce.

"it shouldn't be like that... I should be beside him, not her. how could he forget me...?how could he be scared of me too...?" she cried with her hands cupping over to stop her loud wailings, and Yuto could only stand behind her helpless to her breaking heart.

"up till now, you guys still do not understand..." Yu came forth and sighed while facing Yuto and Mirai.

"what do you mean?" Yuto asked while Mirai stared blankly at Yu's stern expression.

"have you ever asked him what he wanted? have any of you ever considered what he actually wanted in life, whether or not his happy with his new life?!"

Yuto and Mirai exchanged teary glances but no words came out from their troubled expression. 

"see, I knew it. you guys have always been the one determining his life... even at this point, Mirai, you are still doing that to him."

"Yu~ I just wanted him to recover...is that wrong?"

"you still don't get it. listen Mirai, the reason you want him to remember you it's because of your own selfish desires. search through your heart, you'll know that your persistence exists because of your yearnings for him. you wanted him back so that he can fill that hold in your heart."

"no... no no no. I wanted him to be cured! this is not him!"

"Tanaka Ainosuke was never him if you ask me. He should be a kind, loving, innocent boy who would never kill. the boy I knew was one who always smiles brightly to everyone who crosses path with him, and treats them genuinely. But you guys took his kindness for granted, setting his paths, his goals, his future without giving another choice. bit by bit, each of you took away what little spark he has in his heart, extinguishing all his hopes and dreams in order to use him to build the kind of life you guys wanted. from the day, you guys brought him away and gave him a new identity, all I saw on his face was sorrows and distress. He is someone who would do anything for his family, his friends and his loved ones, so I'm sure he has never disappoint you guys in any one occasion. that's his strength and his weakness, cause it only pushed him to the edge both physically and mentally. Then, you guys had to stab him right on his back, betraying him time and time again. I'm not only saying about the obvious traitors, but also you Mirai, and all of you guys. everytime any of you lie to him, it hurts him deep. I can safely tell you that you guys caused him to be in this state! he has now lost faith in love and friendship cause these are exactly what sets him on such a tremulous path, making him lose his sanity eventually. frankly, I see that Tanaka Ainosuke is already dead and this person is Yamada Ryosuke, my only brother. I will not allow him to get hurt anymore, I'll protect him with my whole life! even if he's gonna stay as a child his whole life, I still think that's the most genuine side of him and such innocent happiness is what he truly wants!"

Yuto saw Mirai speechless at what Yu asserted. he too didn't know what else to say cause deep down, he felt that what Yu said wasn't baseless. Yuto recalled when he and Yuya first saw Ryosuke, his smile was so contagious that it brightens their mood like never before. it was like Yu said, his innocence was strongly emitted out from the bottom of his heart. but gradually, he could no longer sense it from Ainosuke anymore. There's only sadness and loneliness. Yuto was sure Mirai felt the same way as he did. they knew Yu was right, Ryosuke is better the way he is now, not remembering any of those past that only hurts him painfully.

"I'm not heartless. I know you love him and I know he do too. he'll not wait up until dawn. so treasure this time and leave before he sees you."

Mirai took a quick glance in and Yu realised her frustration.

"She is Kitaura, Ryosuke's playmate. She's more unfortunate than him cause she's born this way. Her parents dump her away after learning about her condition so she's almost an orphan. they clique really well, perhaps because they could connect with each other since they have the same mental age. you'll grow to accept them. besides, Mirai, I don't want you to waste your time on someone like Ryosuke. it's not easy caring for people like him or her. you understand?" Yu's tone soften as he grabbed her hands and rubbed it gently to ease her trembling fingers. 

Yuto was surprised to see Mirai nod willingly. He was appalled that she accepted the circumstances much better than him and the rest.

Yu entered the room and urged Kitaura to leave so that he could set at least a peaceful time for Mirai to spend with her long-separated husband Before they have to part for good. 

"I wanna stay with Ryosuke! I cannot let Ryosuke get hurt by evil people" Kitaura protested and refused to let go of Ryosuke's hands.

"I won't let anyone hurt him either. I promise you I guard him from those evil people. go back and rest first so you have the energy to go out with him tomorrow"

"we can?"

"yes, I promised you two that if you guys are good, I permit you two to go kite flying right.."

"yeah! okay I'll go rest now! goodnight Yu nii!" then she whispered something that sounded like goodnight in Ryosuke's ears and ran out of the room excitedly.

Mirai revealed herself from a hidden spot to avoid Kitaura from seeing her. She felt her body fatigue after the traumatic news, but Yuto clutched her shoulders to support her weight. 

"I'll be here if you need,"Yuto faced her and said gently.

"thank you," Mirai responded weakly as if she's gonna faint any moment.

Mirai entered the room and sat beside the motionless body. She traced her fingers over the face which she missed so dearly, then buried herself on his chest, maneuvering his arms so that it wrapped her waist like he would if he was still the Ainosuke she knew. She nested her head at the crook of his neck and tilted slightly to his frowning face. 

"I don't want to only be able to come to you when you're sleeping~ I'll make you remember me... I'll bring you back to me... I swear..." she brushed the last of her fallen teardrops though one particular one trickled down to his neck and left a tinkling feeling in his unsettled heart.

*****
just wanna hear from all of you... do you guys agree with Yu that  Ainosuke should stay as he is now, or do you all want him to remember all those hurtful things and return to his real life?;) I'm probably like what Yu said, wanting Ainosuke to remember the past and return to normal because of my own desires to have him by my side.