Reunion
The Lost Prince"Chinen, you take her on your horse."
"w-what?!" Umika and Chinen exclaimed in sync, while Yabu and Hikaru gazed at Ainosuke waiting for an indication why his decision is so. sometimes they have to admit they couldn't understand what their King is thinking, but it always turned out to be wise.
"are you going to forbid me?"
"I wouldn't dare." Chinen gave a helpless look and had to do as asked. he's the only king who disregarded the feud and place the 2 enemies together. when everyone thought the mood was a little tense and thought their King is still suppressing his stress, Ainosuke gave a wink to Umika before lifting himself on the horse.
"ne?" she was stunned by his electrifying wink and couldn't recover her senses and didnt immediately think of what it meant.
"are you coming?!" Chinen unwillingly nagged and she quickly jumped onto the horse, positioned herself nicely behind him. engulfed by the sweet scent and warmth radiating from his back, she fell deeper into a daze before she even recovered from that of the King's.
"uwaaa" without warning, Chinen leaped off, but fortunately she clinged onto him, wrapping her arms around his waist. Her heart beat a billion time faster, and she tried her best to conceal the deafening heart pounding and the soft blush. his hair brushed on her face that aroused her five senses. as she immersed in the warmth, she could see the sneaky laughters from Ainosuke from the sides of her eyes, and she finally understood his intentions.
"ganbatte Umika~whatever happened in previous generations, don't involve you or Chinen so it's not your past to be. I'll see what I can do. even if I can't find my happiness, I'll hope I can bless my favorite general" last night, after those heartbreaking words, he ended off with such a comforting statement that left her unsure of how to respond.
*****
entering the well-to-do town, they could immediately sense the vibrancy and liveliness from the civilians, it was hard not to contract their happiness and feel subtly jealous of their carefree lives.
The generals could see the change of spirits of their King, and was glad that they came. it is also with this change of spirit that they felt that this is what their King has forsaken, evoking within them a sense of remorse like as though they brought it upon him.
it didn't take long for them to reach this well-furnished terrace and it was just in time.
"Niichan!" Ainosuke burst out into tears as he saw Yu about to shut the doors behind him. It startled Yu as he least expected to see his younger brother after so long. ever since Ainosuke regained his throne, Yu has a strong stand of not interfering with Ainosuke's new life and is determined to continue his dreams as a singer. it wasn't that much of a surprise since Yu is also pictured as one with a strong character, therefore has always been a very dependable brother in the family. He could never be bothered with formalities or bowing down to anyone, cause he feels that everyone is equal. so Ainosuke could almost be sure that he's the only one in the world who treats him as who he is and not about his position or power.
"Ryosuke? ah... A-Ainosuke?" he almost forgot his identity after years of separation. before he could gather his thoughts, Ainosuke threw his whole weight at Yu, causing him to move a few steps back.
"it's Ryosuke, Niichan!" Yu knows what he was driving at... he wants to return as his little brother, even if it's for a moment. as Yu embraced him tightly in his arms, it strikes him that the younger one has grown more muscles and became more turgid, but at the same time he could also feel that the boy has grown more frail, mentally exhausted and his shoulders are much heavier like as though there's a ton of load weighing on him. Yu couldn't help but feels sorry for him. Trying to mask his sympathy, he pulled away Ainosuke slightly and gave him a receiving smile. He wiped the tears running like a mess on Ainosuke's face and gave a light pat on his head.
"silly boy. don't let others see your pitiful look. it's embarrassing."
Ainosuke smiled slightly at his brother's request.
"ah wait a minute okay, my house is a mess."
"heh? Niichan" the rest were stunned when Yu shut the door in Ainosuke's face as soon as he told them to wait a while. there was a moment of confusion for Ainosuke cause it is unlike the brother he knew all the while, who can't be bothered even if there's visitors, and it's even weirder for him to say his house is messy.
After a whole lot of noises traveling from within the house, Yu finally returned, looking flustered.
"Niichan, what are you doing in there? are you okay?"
"er... I am. haha! guys, come in and make yourself at home" there was awkwardness in the air but it soon got covered up by the spirit of reunion.
"I have 3 spare rooms, and don't worry, it's well maintained..." Yu exclaimed. Naturally, the arrangements are: one room for Yabu,Hikaru and Chinen; one room for Umika; and one room for Ainosuke.
having not spoke a word, Yabu finally represented the other guests to formally address the host "Thanks for having us here, Yamada-san. let me introduce myself, I'm Yabu, he's Hikaru and Chinen... this is Umika..."
"just call me Yu. and don't worry, just treat this as your home." he smiled, and secretly glanced from one to another as if analyzing their background just by scanning.
"You guys, go take a rest. we'll stay here for 2 nights. Yabu, I'm expecting Keito here tomorrow to give me an update. before I left Ryutaro's place, I've already instructed him to send Keito a message."
"yes, your highness. I'll keep a look out."
"thanks. I insist all of you to rest well. you guys deserve it, especially Chinen. Hikaru, get him a physician to give him a proper medical check."
"yes~" the rest retreated after receiving the instructions, leaving Yu and Ainosuke in the walkway.
"Niichan~"
"I know you've a lot to say... I would love to hear too. but allow me to go get some food and drinks for you, and then we can talk. you must be exhausted from the traveling, so go wash up in the meantime"
"thank you, Niichan"
as soon as they parted, Yu heaved a sigh of relief as he was close to suffering a panic attack. Instead of approaching the kitchen, he sneaked back into his own room and locked it behind him.
"close shave~ you're almost discovered" he lowered his voice as he communicated to someone sitting in the shadows.
"what should we do now?" the shadows spoke with slight guttering
"don't worry. you just sit back and let me handle this."
"thank you, Yu."
"I never break promises" Yu left the room and closely secured his door before he proceeded to the kitchen.
A bowl of pipping hot porridge with teriyaki chicken, and a cup of hot chocolate. Yu opened a cylindrical container and poured one of the circular tablet into the drink. as he stirred the tablet to dissolve it in the drink, his mind was thinking of nothing but words of apologies.
"have you waited long?" Yu entered Ainosuke's room with the tray filled with delicious food and saw him already freshened up after his bath.
"nope, I just came out from the bath."
"great, just in time!" Yu served the food and then sat down opposite him on the small round table beside the bed.
"I missed your cooking, Niichan!"
"then quick, try it, and tell me if I've improved.." Ainosuke immediately dig in, and he giggled at the starving boy who care nothing about his image. but he slowly reduced his speed, as it seemed like he wanted to pour all his grievances to his brother.
"Niichan~ I really miss you. I miss being Ryosuke, being scolded by you for coming home late, for over pampering Riko, or for any other thing that worries you."
"don't let anyone else hear this. everyone is depending on you, so you can't show this weak side of you."
Ainosuke couldn't mask his disappointment from Yu's preaching as he thought the latter would understand him most..but his face lighted up, as the next sentence took him by surprise.
noticing the gloom written on Ainosuke's face, Yu immediately followed up with his previous statement. "but you can show it to me."
A subtle smile is seen on Ainosuke's face but it was deliberate. Yu knew his brother has suffered a lot. he looks so depressed that he seemed too different from Ryosuke. the glow, and the cheerful character were clearly absent from the boy before him, what's left seemed to be sorrows and loneliness.
"if it's politics, I know nuts. but Ryo, look at me..." the younger boy raised his head as he hear the soothing call of his name, so nostalgic...
"ne?"
the older boy came beside him and pulled the younger boy in with his arms wrap around his shoulder, and getting his head to lean on his chest. the warm embrace was so comforting that Ainosuke just let himself rest in his brother's tender-loving care. he realised that this was all he need, not a listening ear cause no one could relate with his problems, not even his brother, but what he really yearns for is someone who he can lean on at times like this.
"Niichan, it's really tough... I feel so tired."
"then rest while you can. I'm here for you, you know it."
"I am sorry about Riko."
"Shhhh, I understand. Baka, you're doing good, so don't put so much stress on yourself. no one is blaming you."
"you think so?"
"yes... my brother is the best, and I have faith in him. now, just don't think about anything... close your eyes and rest. your dear brother will be here to protect you, okay?"
such simple words penetrate deep into Ainosuke's heart and send an invisible blanket that cushioned the broken heart of the once-cheerful boy. it's not just Ainosuke whose teardrops is evidently rolling off his face, Yu's eyes also turned wet as he pitied the boy who seemed to be struggling hard to live up to everyone's expectations.
behind the cupboard door, the same shadow was watching the entire heart-wrenching scene. the person in the shadow was clearly not sparred from the agony, instead the excruciating pain from the core of the heart strikes so mercilessly that the limbs weakened and the person collapsed. sitting in the cupboard, the person cupped the mouth to refrain the slightest sobbing from escaping which will alert Yu and Ainosuke. as the person peeped through the tiny gap of the cupboard which positioned nicely to show the backview of the worn-out boy, tears ran rapidly like the amazon river and there's no stopping.
*******
His arms dangled on either side as he was lifted from the ground. Yu lowered his brother's body on the bed. he looked at the boy who fell deep into a sleep that will only wear off by the next morning. he brushed the strands of hair that fell across his face, revealing the pale, lifeless face which resembled nothing like the Ryosuke he knew years back before he was taken away from him. the scene of the day where he called out to his older brother desperately while bleeding profusely and suffering from the pain inflicted by his lovely sister, left Yu in a state of helplessness and remorse.
I was one of those people who killed Ryosuke~ I killed his hopes and dreams~ forgive me, my little brother.
"Yu~" the voice sounded from behind the door of the cupboard which sits across the room, and a young lady reveals herself from the shadows.
he turned around and saw the swollen eyes of hers and knew the mess that happened behind the closed cupboard.
"he won't wake up until the next morning... he's as dead as a log, so you can say or do whatever you want with him."
She walked closer to the bed and the sight of Ainosuke triggered off another bucket of tears.
"treasure this night, though he'll probably not hear or sense you. that's the most I could do."
"thank you, Yu..."
"leave before the sunrise, or he'll see you when he opens his eyes first thing in the morning. if that happens, all that you've done would be for nothing, cause I really don't know what he'll do. "
She kneeled down beside his body and then ran her hands on his soft, scented hair while she replied Yu "I understand. I'll be careful"
just as Yu was about to leave the room, he reminded her of the horrors Ainosuke had to face alone...
"i hope that you can work some magic to somehow heal his bleeding heart... it pains me to see him like this, and worst is we all played a part in stabbing this kind, innocent heart, especially you."
the door shut behind, and the room is left in silence. The lady carried herself onto the single bed and leaned herself on Ainosuke's warm radiating chest. She wrapped her arm across his broad chest and her head nicely beside his head. She looked at his knitted brows and ran her fingers in hopes to untwined it, and it did. With tears continuing to well up in her eyes, she let her hands on his smooth face, but it is only then she realised he lost the baby fats on his cheeks, rather she could feel curvature and protuding bones. His jawline has never been that obvious, even his collar bones have become evident even in the dark. Her free hand found her way to his hand, palms touch, fingers entwine. The bases of the hands are so close that warmth in between is shared, completely one. it was indeed the same comforting heat, but it wasn't the same texture, it became more rough. her eyes was attracted by the once-y lips and realised it has lost its radiance, only a slight pink remains. She leaned her forehead even closer, drawn by the seductive lips, and it touched. No doubt it was a passive kiss cause there was not the slightest reaction from him, but still her heart throb like back in those days. She traced her tongue along the bottom of his lips, as if asking for access, but she dared not proceed further cause she was afraid she couldn't stop. She quietly shut her eyes and let her lips continue to press on his as if time is frozen. This kiss was different from any others, cause the kiss felt more like tobacco, so painfully bitter. There was not a slightest trace of sweetness but her mind wondered what the frail boy was thinking in his sleep, some event? someone? was she part of it? In that close proximity, she saw the corner of his eyes wet, and she knew it was not a good dream. Her heart wrenched, but she felt helpless.
Ainosuke...
How was your life these years? Have you been through? Have you been taking care of yourself.
You look so distraught, so frail. Your shoulders seemed tense and heavy. was it the ever-increasing stress?
'Letting you go without any expression, as if it's nothing'
'appearing like as if that I was perfectly fine'
I practiced doing that every day, but it's still awkward.
I also practiced how to secretly cry while smiling but I feel like my trembling voice will give it away quickly
Loving is probably hundreds and thousands times more difficult than breaking up and being away from you
I figured that I'm nothing but a fool who can't live without you - are you feeling that too?
I guess I loved you too severely
I don't even breath when I looked around for you unconsciously
I don't know when I'll be able to stop (have you stopped?)
I think letting go your hands is more severe than dying
No matter how much it hurts, every day I practiced trying to get used to spending a day as if it's nothing
I don't think I can ever forget you
if this was how it's going to be, I shouldn't have loved
When will I forget you?
I guess I loved you so foolishly
Because of you, I can't even dream of another love
I guess we broke up too severely
What's so hard about saying goodbye that I can't even open my lips and am hesitating.
You remain deeper than a scar in my heart so I can't erase you
When I thought I have mastered the skills of masking my pain, you appeared, and I realised I haven't moved on
All my longing was unleashed in a frame of a second, all my practice was for nothing
I know you have been looking for me, you could have made things easier for you and me by not doing so.
Listen Ainosuke, it's for your better we continue to practice the days forwards without each other's presence.
Pardon for my selfishness, that only I can look at you now.
it's really for your good that you never see me.
Let me be the only one in pain.
Let me heal you, without your knowledge
cause that will be much easier for you
The kiss lasted from seconds to minutes, and both lips were close to drying up. but his face was already drenched in her tears. Time was forgotten and and shoved aside that she didn't know when and how she fell asleep, perhaps it was really too comforting to be back into his embrace.
*********
This chapter is extremely heartbreaking...T.T sorry if this fic is hurting too much. BTW, if you hadn't notice, Yamada Yu is played by Lee Hongki from a Korean poprock band FTISLAND. They are doing very well in Japan as well. The lines in the last part which described the lady's feeling was actually adapted from one of their song. It's a rock ballad which is very heartbreaking too, so I really want to introduce it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZJnZD1UbA8 ! As usual, let me know your thoughts about the chapter, and also perhaps the song! :D
Having a difficult time with school projects, but I still hope I can give updates on the story:) Thanks for supporting!
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