I tossed and turned in my sleep. All I could think about was Sehun and Wufan.

I am deeply hurt by Sehun. Being with Sehun was one of the best moments in my life when we first got together. But lately, he has been hurting me so much especially since we fought in the Thrill Love cafe. He barely wanted to talk to me anymore. It hurts so much to be ignored by someone who is supposed to always be by your side. Tears started to well up in my eyes just thinking about Sehun and all of the pain he has caused me. Why was he so mean to me?

I could not get over how Sehun was not there for me when I needed him the most. It was a weight that was being put in my already heavy heart.

My mind then shifts to Wufan. I thought about how Wufan protected from my horrible boss. The last few months have been such a roller coaster for me. My former best friend is finally a big part of my life again. Before, I was denying that he cared about me. But after all of the events that happened with Wufan, I feel like we can finally and truly be best friends again like before. It was hard for me to deny but thinking about him gave me butterflies in my stomach. Thinking about how Wufan has been more present in my life makes me happy. Right now, Wufan was the biggest light in my life.

Is this wrong of me to think? When Sehun is the one who's supposedly my partner? I felt so much confusion. After some more thinking for a couple of hours, I decided what I was going to do. I finally went to sleep at 3:00AM.

After the discussion I had with Kris, I was feeling a mix of strong emotions. I was feeling intense guilt and anger. Guilty because of how cruel I was treating Amber and I was seething with anger because of how my girlfriend was almost ually harrassed. What hurts more was that Amber did not bother to tell me about what happened to her. I have not been this hurt before now. Instead, that stupid dragon was the one who got to be there for her when she was feeling pain. I clenched my fists. I thought back about how I spoke with Amber right after her incident.

"Next time, will you not spam me with calls and messages? It's very bothersome." 

"S-sorry", Amber said. I saw the flash of hurt in Amber's eyes. I knew I sounded harsh, but I was so hurt and jealous that all I wanted to do was hurt Amber. I felt so threatened by Wufan. I hated feeling like this.

"So what was with the spam anyways? It's the first time you wanted me somewhere so badly," I continued.

"It's... nothing now." Amber sighed.

I wanted to hit my head against the wall. I cannot believe I was such an ! I could not imagine how Amber must have felt about me. She did not even bother to tell me what happened to her! What am I to her even? What kind of boyfriend am I?

I wanted to talk to Amber as soon as I can to fix things with her, but I didn't know how. I didn't feel comfortable talking about this with anyone, not especially with Chanyeol. Chanyeol is especially protective of Amber. I am not even sure if Chanyeol really approves of our relationship. He is a very understanding guy, but he always seem the least enthusastic about our relationship, unlike the others in EXO-K.

Amber asked to meet up with me after school today. Amber asked me to meet up before Kris has told me what happened. At the time she asked me, I acted aloof and told her that I might not be able to speak with her for too long. I wasn't actually busy, but I was still mad at her at that time. Now I completely regretted acting that way as well. I got out my phone to text Amber, so she knows I didn't ditch her.

I am waiting outside for you at the park bench. -Sehun

My leg was shaking while I was