For the next few days, Yoon Ah woke up and immediately went for her jog. She had decided that she would not give in to her sadness. If she could make it through one week, she could make it through two weeks. If she made it through two weeks, then she could keep stacking weeks until they came back. She had decided that she would use music as her guiding light.

When she got home after her jog, Yoon Ah went to school and that was really the hardest. She would see them, for only a few moments. They would pass in the hall, with no time to speak, so all they could do was smile at one another. She always gave them the biggest, brightest smile she could manage. She would always walk directly through the pack and deposit one of her homemade snacks into their pockets. She had always been their rock and she would never stop.

After school, she would practice. She would dance until her body burned and then play her guitar until fingers were almost ready to bleed. Then, if she had martial arts practice, she would throw herself into it, body and soul. As scared as she was of being heard, she forced herself to sing. She sang about anything that bothered her, about how lonely she was and how she missed playing with the boys.

Only in the dead of night, in the quietest of times would she ever admit to things that she could never allow to come to light. Only then could she admit that she was confused. She didn’t think she could understand the boys half as well as she thought she did, sometimes.  Sometimes, like when they were at the beach, or when Se7en gave her those strange looks, she just ended up confused. Why wouldn’t they just say whatever it was?

During the last few days of that hard first week, she had a sudden urge to go shopping. It had been a while since she had bought herself anything new and she was well behind on every trend. She had more than enough money to get anything she wanted. She just never had time to spend it.

Just as she was about to walk out the door, she realized she had no idea what would look good on her. She picked up her phone and began to dial Ji Yong; her fashion guru, but stopped. Her heart dropped out of her chest as she realized she couldn’t even do this simple task without them. She was utterly dependant on them as a matter of course.

She sat in her entrance of her apartment and it hit her like a sack of bricks. She was alone. She was really, truly alone. Her eyes felt like they were on fire as she clutched her face. She was gasping of air as her body began to shake. She had been doing so well. She had actually started to think she could live without them.

Just when she was about to give up and go back to bed, she thought about something. There were eight numbers in her phone. Eight. Seven people in her life had disappeared. There was another number in her phone. She looked through her phone, in a panic. She was almost in tears when she found it.

She called the girl’s number and fought to control herself. If she didn’t believe the girl would pick up, she would just collapse. She couldn’t give in, not yet. The ringing stopped and she closed her eyes. She would have to start all over again. She didn’t know if she could find the strength twice.

“Hello?” The girl’s voice called and Yoon Ah’s head snapped up. “Yoon Ah, is that you?”

“Yea.” Yoon Ah said, and she was suddenly shy and with no idea what to do.

“I was hoping you would call. I had so much fun at the spa. Did you want to do something else?”

“Yes!” Yoon Ah all, but shouted into the phone. She collected herself and said quickly, “I mean, I know it’s Friday and probably short notice, but I wanted to go shopping and –“

“That sounds like fun. I’ll meet you at the mall, okay?” The girl said and Yoon Ah nodded, quickly. “I can’t hear you nodding. I’ll see you in an hour.” The girl said and hung up.

Yoon Ah stood in a corner of the mall food court, feeling lost. There were so many people here. It was kind of fun