The next morning, she woke up to G Dragon knocking on her door. She groaned and rolled over, waking just enough to see who it was. “Ji Yong-ah, what are you doing up so early?” She asked, looking at her cell phone. It was hardly six in the morning. He was never awake before nine. Even then, someone usually had to drag him outgo bed.

“We have a shoot early today. I wanted to make sure you ate and took your pills on time.” He said and she rubbed her eyes. He sat her up and put the plate in front of her, smiling brightly. “I don’t cook well, so you’ll be having cereal, if that’s okay with you.” He said and she nodded, quietly. She took the pills first before starting to eat her cereal. She took a bite and looked at him, eyes wide.

“You remember, right? It’s the cereal you gave me when I came over the first time. They only sell it at mom and pop stores now, but I found some.” He said, grinning. “I knew it was your favorite, so I had to get some for you while you were staying here.” He said and she smiled. She hadn’t had this cereal since they were kids. It was so full of sugar that there was barely room for it in a lifestyle that centered around health. Her health, their health, it took priority over everything for her. When had she stopped enjoying herself with little things like this?

He was smiling at her gleefully and she smiled back. When had he grown up so much? His face was still the same, but he had matured. Now, instead of looking childish, he had a delicate beauty to him. She supposed it would be insulting to call a man beautiful, but he was. As she ate, she couldn’t help, but look at him. Even his smile had changed. Even though it was childlike in it’s purity, it held something she couldn’t quite grasp the words for. Had she really never seen him become a man? She supposed she had been too close.

She finished her breakfast and he leaned down to take the tray, bobbing to himself. Without warning, she hugged him around his neck, smiling. “Thank you, Ji Yong-ah.” She said, quietly. It must have taken a lot of time to figure out which cereal it had been. When they were kids, he had never even seen the box. Just one mouthful of that memory could have filled her for the whole day. He stumbled a little, but smiled and left the room. It was still dark, but she could swear he was blushing. She giggled a little to herself. He was so adorable.

Before they left, everyone came into the room and said their goodbyes. She smiled and hugged each of them “I’ll be back with some beef for lunch. You have to eat a lot of meat so you get better.” Taeyang said, smiling brightly at her. She smiled and she started to wring her hands. When had he developed dimples? Had he always been so handsome?

“I’ll pick you up some chicken for dinner.” TOP said, grinning. “We should all be here by then, but even if things run long, I’ve already told them I have to come back, so I’m not skipping work, I swear.” He grinned and started fidgeting a bit. Had he grown up without telling her as well? Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at him. He had lost his baby chubbiness and had become much more lean.

She nodded, quietly, suddenly feeling very confused. How had this happened? She asked herself, laying back on the pillows. What is wrong with her heart all of a sudden? Why was it racing at all the wrong times and stopping so hard that it took the air out of her lungs? It was like the feeling she got when she was kissed, but the butterflies were stronger and her heart’s reaction softer. What was doing this to her?

She banged her head on the pillow a few times and tried to figure it out. Someone had described some feeling like this to her once. It never made any sense to her. How could someone else make her heart beat ski and stop? How could butterflies swarm in your stomach until you felt like throwing up and feel good? Why did there things happen to people? How could this be happening to her?

Why did she have to get these feelings now of all times? She was everything, but an invalid right now. This was not the time for her heart to lose its mind. Why was it losing its mind anyway? It wasn’t Seungri or Daesung. They were like rowdy little brothers she loved being under foot.

Ji Yong? That was impossible. They had been friends since they were too young to talk properly. He was still a child at heart. How could she fall for a child like that? He was still so innocent and sweet, but she supposed he had become surprisingly attractive. It was a strange, androgynous, beautiful kind of attractive. She as she looked at the ceiling. When he pouted, she could never deny him anything. When he smiled, her whole world brightened. She remembered when he had pulled her up in the hospital bed. She had been so close to him and that look had stopped her heart. Why had she been so disappointed when he had laid her back down? She shook her head and tossed away such silly thoughts. That was insane. This was the same boy she had been with since the sandbox.

Young Bae? That was a ridiculous thought. She was not dumb enough to fall for him. He was charming, muscular, and had a smile to kill for. That was the problem. Women flocked to him, but he never complained. He was a sweet boy, but he loved women as much as they loved him. He looked like the bad boy no one’s parents would approve, but he was always a hit with parents. She smiled and thought of how hard he tried for her. He remembered how he held her when he would toss her in the pool. He would be hard and strong where she was soft and lean. He had even stolen her first kiss. Still, he was the same boy who she had been forced to fight gauntlets over because he couldn’t help himself.

Seung Hyun? There was no way. He was her teddy bear. He was nearly incapable of being serious, if it wasn’t about his rapping.  He had always been in the shadows when they were younger. Even now, he didn’t go out of his way to stand out, not that he needed to. Often, he was a wonderful mystery and sometimes he was transparent. His smile was unstoppable and contagious. His dimples were murder on her pulse. She clutched her pillow and thought of the hospital again, when he had kissed her tear away. The feeling of him on top of her had made her feel strangely hot. Her heart had been pounding so loudly, she was afraid he would hear it. When he pulled away and starred at her, there had been no air in her lungs. She frowned to herself. He was also the boy she had protected as long as she had known him.

She gave up and closed her eyes. Maybe things would be better if she stopped thinking about it. She was never one to avoid her problems, but this wasn’t something she could even begin to find an answer for. She the television and groaned to herself. How could this be happening? She kicked her feet like a child throwing a tantrum. Her stomach hurt from it, but she didn’t care. Things needed to make sense. These were her boys. How could she pick one over the other? Why did they have to confess?

Taeyang knocked on the door and she rubbed her eyes, trying to get ird of her headache. She had never searched so hard or so long for an answer to any question. “Yoon Ah, I’m coming in.” He called, opening the door and she smiled. He hadn’t even asked if she was awake, or decent. It wasn’t like he cared. She shifted on her mound of pillows and made herself smile. “You look like you could use some relief. I brought your pain pills.” He said, shaking the bottle in front of her.

He pulled out the beef ribs he had promised her only after she had taken her pain pill. He tucked a napkin in her collar despite her objections and grinned at her in his silly way. He sat beside her and placed the tray on her lap. He handed her a rib and picked one up himself. “This stuff is way better than what they give us on set. Eat up.” He said and she nodded, smiling.

“Won’t you ever learn to wear your hat pr