..one month later…

“WHERE ARE YOU. Read my last message!!!”

My Saturday morning started with this. I was bombarded with messages from Baro, my sleep was too deep that it’s already eleven when I woke up. Talk about being lazy during weekends. Baro may sound like he’s angry by the way he texted me, but believe me he’s not, he just got really addicted to using exclamations when he sends me a messages lately.

I slept late last night because I came back to my dorm late after spending the whole day after school with my friend’s at Sandeul place. Then when I came home, Baro and I spent a good two hours on the phone, until we fell asleep without hanging up.

It’s been a month since we officially became boyfriend/girlfriend. Bullying in campus had stopped since then. Ji-Hae finally put a good distance from Baro, but she would still give me death glares. I can’t blame her, it must’ve hurt when she found out that Baro and I are finally together.

Then my phone buzzed again.

“I’m waiting at the coffee shop!!! You’ve got to have a good excuse for making me wait for 2 hours!!!”

I don’t know if it were the excessive exclamation that made me frantically run to the bathroom to take a shower, or the way my heart flattered at the thought waiting for me at the coffee shop. He told me that he had planned a surprise for me to celebrate our first month together, and here I am snoring in my bed.

Trying to compose myself from the tension that I’ve been feeling, I imagine the look on his face while typing the exclamations. How I wish Sandeul filmed it. Staring at my own reflection in the mirror, I felt a little bit confident. I was wearing a cream soft sweater and denim pants, then paired it with boots. The weather is cold because winter is almost here.

When I was out on the street I practically ran to the café. I was almost out of breath when I got to the café, but there was no sign of him. Baro was not there. Kelly and Kim furrowed their brows at me when they saw me barge in to the café like crazy.

I gave the whole place a good scan before staring at them questionably, “Where’s Baro?”

Kelly and Kim stared at each other before looking back at me even more curious, “I don’t know, you’re his girlfriend.” Kelly said shrugging her shoulders.

My head cocked to the side, even more confused. “What? He told me he was here.” Now, I’m panicking. He could’ve left and got mad at me. I can’t stand him being mad at me, not today because today is a very special day for the both of us.

I didn’t ask Kelly for another question because then my phone rang, it was Baro who was calling me.

“Babe, are you at the café?”

He said to me, he sounded like he was on a hurry.

“yeah. But, where are you, you said you were waiting for me here.”

I said, a little disappointed especially since his tone was like he’s in a hurry.

“I’m sorry, I just need to hurry and go somewhere. I’ll see you tonight. I’ll call you okay?”

He sounded like he was in the middle of something.

“What? I thought you were planning on something to celebrate our first month together?”

I sounded like a kid complaining. I know this is too childish, but you can’t blame me, I was really excited to see him this afternoon, and then I just had to find out that he’s up to something else.

“I’ll call you later, love. Promise me, you won’t get angry.”

I was not happy with that, but I don’t want to fight with him and with a disappointed sigh,

“Okay.”

I said flatly.

“look, I have to go. I’m quite busy right now, I’ll call you tonight.”

Okay. So, when did he start to get busy to even ditch his plans for me today? Or did he forget about it?

I was not in the great mood when we hang up the phone. I stayed at the café with Kelly and Kim for a couple of hours. Baro didn’t give me a call nor sent me a text message. He usually sends me a text message, just this morning he sent me thirty in total. He would even send random I love you and I miss you in between. Today is the first day he didn’t. And it’s only been a month since we’d been together.

I went to his apartment in the evening. He gave me a spare key to his place so that I could come to his place whenever I want. Although I wasn’t tired, my unhappiness made me feel exhausted. I have no plans on spoiling this day though. I will cook a nice dinner for the two of us anyway. We’re going to celebrate today no matter what.

When I got inside the apartment, a red envelope on the coffee table in his living room caught my attention. It was sitting beside his headset, he had stopped wearing them for two weeks now, and there was no occasion of him feeling the pain from his head since then.

I usually don’t pry on his things, but this envelope just seems to call out my attention. It looked elegant, and it smelled of a floral perfume.

There was a note inside.

“I was hoping you could come to see me…” printed in a neat font. There was a location map attached to it.

“Baro!” I called.

No answer.

Now, I’m getting nervous. I’ve only been with Baro for about a month. Maybe Ji-hae hadn’t back down and attempted to have a little tryst with him again. Baro would never do this to me! Besides, if he’s up to no good, he wouldn’t leave this note for me to find out, right?

But, whatever is going on, I intend to find out. I took my phone and dialed his number.

His phone is off.

I tried about three times just in case he lost signal. But still it was off. I took short breaths to calm myself down, I called Sandeul, he answered.

“Where’s Baro?”

 I asked him a little higher than I wanted to sound.

“Ahh.. I didn’t see him the whole day.”

It took him a moment to answer my question though.

“but, he’s not here in his apartment.”

I hissed. I know it wasn’t Sandeul’s fault that I’m fuming right now, but there was no one else I can vent my frustrations on.

“Well.. he told me not to bother him the whole day because he’s going to be out with somebody. I thought.. it was you.”

My hands were turning numb.

“thanks, Sandeul.”

Then I hung up on him.

I looked at the location map at the location map and found the “X”. The place says a restaurant in town. How can Baro be there already when he never got the note that was left for him? Baro would never cheat on me. “he won’t.” I whispered to myself. “He of all people would never do such a thing.” But I needed to find out. I dashed to stairs and raced to the location map.

I felt like a woman in pursuit. My heart was pounding loudly, my hands are cold and I’m pretty sure my face is crimson red. I found that the address points to one of the luxurious restaurants in town. I looked at the address on the map again to make sure that I’m at the right place.

The man standing by the door greeted me cheerfully. He was wearing black and suit with a nametag so I assumed he’s an employee in the building. I showed him the map to make sure that this is the place.

“Yes ma’am. This is the place.” The man then guided me to the lobby of the place and the place really does spell luxury, if I wasn’t fuming at the moment, I would have stopped and admired the whole place.

The person who Baro was visiting maybe rich.

“but it’s you he loves.” I said to myself.

I was greeted by a girl who asked me for my name and if I have reserved a table. “No, But I’m looking for Cha Sunwoo.” The girl’s face lit up, and I can see excitement and happiness in her eyes. “Let me walk you to the private hall.”

I don’t know what she was excited about, but I know I’m not sharing that feeling with her. Whatever I uncover, unless what I see leaves little to my imagination, I will listen to what Baro will say. Breathe in. Breath out. Damn, why is their room so far from the lobby.

We stopped in front of a door. I gasped. The woman told me that this was the room that was rented for the night for a private dinner. I took in a deep breath before knocking the door. Why the hell was I even knocking? I thought to myself then I relentlessly turned the knob.

The lights in the rooms were off, “Hello.” I called out, there was no reply. Then I tried to search for the switch on the wall, luckily it wasn’t hard to find the switch for the lights.

But what I saw blew me away. There were roses and all over the place. The place was filled with white and gold furnitures, and I’ve never been used to such a sight. There is a table in the middle set for two. I saw Baro standing on one corner looking through the glass door.

“Baro..” I whispered weakly.

He slowly turned to face me, a brilliant smile was pasted on his face.

“I.. I don’t understand.” I said, still a little flabbergasted.

He walks towards me, his eyes twinkling.

“Who’s here with you?” I asked in a small voice.

He shook his head. Then, he raised his hand to push a lock of stray hair away from my face.

“No one, babe.” He said, “It’s just the two of us.”

I looked around, the place was romantically set up.

Just the two of us? “but- I found a note for you-”

He chuckled, “that was for you, Ji-Un.”

“For me? You had me thinking….”

“You don’t know how painful this day was for me.” He whispered, while his eyes bore through mine.

“Painful?” I asked, pulling away from him.

He nodded, “telling you that I’m busy and I don’t have time to talk, not calling you or texting you.. it bothered me all day!”

I narrowed my eyes, “You did that on purpose?”

He laughed, the genuine laugh he gives when he’s deeply happy, “I told you I was going to surprise you.. and this turned out to be a little more dramatic than I thought.” He said in an amused tone.

I looked at the dinner table, then at the roses, “What is this all about anyway?”

“You didn’t think I forget what today is, did you?” my heart instantly melted when he stared down at me.

“you remembered!” I exclaimed wrapping my arms around his neck.

“of course I did!” he said as he wrapped his arms around my waist, “a month ago, you gave me another chance to make it up to you.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the lips. I couldn’t help it, I was crying again. I was hoping to just spend the whole day with him but he prepared something else… something even more romantic, something surreal.

After the kiss, I tried to gather all my will power on my knees as we approached the dinner table. I looked at the elegant china wares and crystal wine glass on it. “I never knew you could be this romantic.”

He didn’t answer. I turned away to look at the place, it was absolutely enchanting, I never really thought I’d be able to have dinner in such a romantic place, like it was cut out from a romantic novel.

 “I want to tell you something.. I guess I just have to before we could really have a better start for our relationship” he whispered.

I heard him gasp for air, and my heart started pounding in my chest. I turned around to face him again. The expression on his face was serious and wistful. I don’t understand what he meant by that because as far as I am concerned, we are doing pretty well in our relationship.

“Baro…” I whispered, “you know I hate riddles right? Spit it out.” I mumbled in between deep breaths while forcing a smile.

“I guess it’s time that I tell you-” he paused as he took a deep breath. “You know… that day when I first met you outside the campus.” My heart warmed at the memory of our first meeting. I was mesmerized by him, which it took me a while to realize that he was shouting at me.

“Yeah.. and you were so angry then.” I smiled at the thought.

He gave me a small smile, but the happiness did not reflect his eyes. I suddenly felt nervous as my heart swell. “you don’t know how much I thank god that I met you. You were the best thing that had ever come to my life, and I don’t know where I could be right now if it weren’t for you. You don’t know how much I wished we met earlier than we did, and that I wasn’t sick.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks. I shook my head, “Baro- we’re together now, and that’s all that matters.” I lunged forward and gave him a tight hug. Sometimes it scares me at the thought of he might not be there always for me, the thought of him not being there to be my pillar.

When I looked at Baro, I saw that his eyes were teary too. He gave me a kiss on the forehead. “Ji-Un-” he paused as he took in a deep breath , “I’m glad, I met you.. you were the prettiest, kindest, and the most understanding person I had ever known. You accepted me in your life, though you know that there’s a big chance—of me- leaving you.” He choke on his words. I blinked at him. “all this time I thought, you needed me.. but I was wrong, you were the one who helped me look at things the way I never looked at them. I was about to give up my life, hell, I even wanted to die, and stop my suffering..”

“Don’t say that.” I was sobbing right now, I don’t understand what he was trying to tell me, but I can feel that something was not right. “Don’t say that like you’re leaving..”

“Believe me, babe. If I could just ask God to make me well, I will. I never want to leave you. If there is one thing I want in the world, it’s be with you forever.” He said almost sobbing. “but this-” he said jabbing his finger on his chest, “this thing that I’ve been fighting for a long time.” Tears started to stream down his cheeks now, “is killing me.”

My jaw dropped open, and my throat felt like it dried up, I can’t even find a word to say anything.

“Ji-Un..” he said crying, while his arms held me tightly, “I’m dying..”

His words rang in my head, and felt a little dizzy. Everything went black as tears started to stream down my cheeks, I felt my body tremble and I was glad Baro was holding me because I could collapse any minute now. I tried to make up for words, “but- you’ve been okay? You-you are fine. Your body has been responding pretty well with your medication –and-and-” I was rambling.

“Ji-Un..” he said in between tears, “I’m okay, because I wanted to.. for you.. I’m fighting it because I want to be with you.. as long as I can-”

“but-but- Dr.-”

“One year ago.. he told me, whatever I do-I won’t get better-” he take in a deep breath, “I could still take my medication, but it will only give me extra months to live.. but, I would- my body would eventually-- give up. But believe me when I tell you, babe, I would never give up, because I don’t want to leave you.”

I raised my hands to cover my ears not wanting to hear any of what he’s going to say. I shook my head frantically, still not wanting to believe that Baro is dying. “No, please. Stop. Just tell this isn’t true. Tell me this is just a joke.” I said faking a smile.

Baro shut his eyes as if he was in pain and shook his said. “I hope this is just all a joke, too.” My eyes grew even more wider, He’s really dying.

Right then and there I broke down. Cry of pain. I can’t believe this is happening. I don’t even want to believe that this is even happening. Just when everything seemed so right, I just have to find out about it. I don’t even know how to react, all I did was cry. Cry as much as I can. I never accept the fact that I would lose him as well.

He, who made me feel visible when I tried to hide from the world. He, who made me feel that I wasn’t different from everyone else. He, who made me feel pain, jealousy, happiness, and love. Baro..

“please Ji-Un.. don’t cry.” Baro said mumbling, he was also crying. His hands went to my cheeks to smear my tears away, “I never want you to cry because of me.”

How can I not, “Is this what you’ve been hiding from me all this time?” I said still sobbing.

He just nodded. “I’m sorry.” He said in a coarse tone. 

I shook my head in disbelief, “Everyone knew except me?”

He nodded his head again, “I never meant to hurt you Ji-Un, I swear.” He said now looking through my eyes, as if searching for my soul for forgiveness. I've never seen him this weak before. He doesn't want this, neither of us does. And I know telling me the truth is breaking his heart as well.

I’m not angry at him, I can’t be angry at him. he was right I was hurt, he kept the fact from me, and he never trusted me by not telling me about this earlier, “Were you even planning on telling me?” I said, and my tone reflected how hurt I was.

He shook his head, “I was afraid, you would never take me back. I was afraid that you would run away from me, and I won’t see you again.” his said, his tone was sincere and I know he was hurt for not telling me earlier as well.

“Baro~” I murmured, “When I found out you have cancer, I never really thought of running away from you.” I raised my hands to cup his cheeks. “I loved you even more..” I stared at me blinking, “what made you think that I’d run away knowing this-this thing—is killing you?” tears started flowing down my cheeks again.

“I’m sorry I doubted you babe.” He said lowering his head, “I know how hard it was for you to open up your shell and let me in. I don’t deserve you- I don’t want you crying anymore for me.” He then pushed me from him,

“You. Of all people- is the only person- who deserves me.” I said and wrapped my around him again. “Don’t even tell me to leave you now. What we have right now, what’s left with our time together- we’ll make the most of it.”

He pushed me a little to give a good look on my face, and I can see the same warmth in his eyes again, “I-I don’t know what to say-”

I smiled at him, “Just tell me we’re going to go through this together, and you’re never gonna let me go.”

“Ji-Un, I will cherish every moment of time with the life that’s left of me with you. I couldn’t ask for more. You were there, when I was about to give up. You walked to my life and gave me hope. You are the reason to my life that has been ed up by this—can—illness.” He said the word bitterly, “I only have this lifetime, I may not know how long I still have, but I promise to never let you go, I promise to hold your hand, hold you in my arms for as long as I can. I love you. I would never miss a day not telling you how much I feel about you.”

Then I started crying again. Baro then motioned his hand to reach something from his back pocket. I watched him as I took a deep breath when he held out a small velvet box. I then covered my mouth with my hand, as I started taking deep sobs.

“ready?” he said as his eyes lit up to look at mine.

I have completely lost my voice. And then slowly, he came down to his knee. He held the box I front of me and opened it. There was a white gold band ring with a small diamond that had sparkled before my eyes.

“This is a promise ring, Ji-Un..” he paused, looking at me wistfully, “I will forever thank God for letting you bump into me that day.. little did I know that you will change my life. That I was about to get rescued by you.  I didn’t believe that anyone could want me, need me, and love me for everything I am inside. I want to spend the rest of my remaining life proving to you that I was worth it of your trust and love.” He paused for a moment, “I promise to love you even-- until my body leaves this life.”

I bit my lip, rivers of tears streaming down my cheeks now. “Baro-”

He smiled, “My knee is hurting, could you let me slid the ring on your finger now?” he said playfully. Now, this is the Baro I know.

 Giggle in spite of my tears. “I-I love you..” I said in between sobs. “If you were the prize at the end of the road, I would go through all the miserable parts of my life a hundred times. Before I met you, I was asking the heavens to let me just go through everything like I was invincible. But now, now that you’ve made me feel this way, my life felt like it fell into place.”

He smiled and he took my hand and placed the ring on my finger. Then he brought it to his lips and kissed it. he stood up on his feet. I smiled and threw myself in his arms. He caught me and spun me around. Then he settled me on my feet. When I raised my head to look at his face again, I was shock to see red streaming down his nostril.

Panic attacked my senses, “Baro-”

He saw the shock on my expression and he knew something was wrong. But before he could even raise his hands to wipe the blood from his nose, he collapsed on the floor. I was shocked to see him fumble on the floor, so I went down on my knees and I reached for him to grab his body and wrap my arms around him, panic has stricken my senses and I was shaking. He's breathing but it's too faint. Blood won't stop from gushing out of his nostrils.

"oh god!" I cried while trying to wipe the blood with my bear hands, “Baro! Baro wake up!” I called him hoping he’s going to regain his consciousness, and when I was convinced that he’s not, I called for help. “HELP! PLEASE!” I cried, “HELP! OH GOD!” I cried in between sobs while cradling Baro on my arms. “HELP ME, PLEASE!!”

“Baro please wake up” I said crying, tightening my grip around him. "Please don't leave me" I said wrapping his motionless body to mine, "I need you-"

Then help came, employees at the restaurant came to our aid, and few seconds later paramedics arrived. I was crying the whole time, my body was trembling, and I don’t know what to do if Baro would leave me now. I’m not ready yet, in fact, I will never be ready.

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A/N:

His secret is out. Baro has terminal cancer, it means he won't make it, even if they try to make him well. I just had to give the story another twist, and here it is! You know, to make it a bit longer, and I don't want to end it with lots of loopholes. :)

Ji-Un hasn't met his mom, she's gonna be in the next chaps. Lee-Joon and Ji-Hae, I still have to include what happened to them as well. :)

Thank you so much for reading!

Don't forget to leave a comment, it fuels me to write this story :)

Love lots :)