Dr. Byun, Baro’s doctor, have mentioned that Baro has been taking his medications. According to him, he’s responding very well to it given that Baro has stopped taking them for quite a long time. What’s been bugging me is the fact that he’s still wearing his headset all the time, he’ll be just fine if he’ll remove them right?.

I remember the time when I bumped into him, he was not wearing his headset, he scared me then, actually. He was a different person then, but now, I haven’t seen that side of him. Maybe because he’s been feeling better due to his medication. I’m not sure. All these are just my speculations. I’m still trying to figure out how I will tell him that I already know his secret.

“What’s wrong?” he said raising his brow as he turned to look at me. Oh how I love seeing him like this. Looking so cool while his hands are on his pockets.

He’s now looking at me like I’m some kind of a sick-o. “Nothing..” I said faking a smile.

We’re on our way to his apartment. I was just following him. Somehow, I wanted him to just take me by the hand and walk as far as we can go. But, I don’t think he’s gonna do that. He’s been busy walking the streets leading to his apartment. It would really be nice if I’d be able to read whatever is in his head right?

 I mean.. there’s only one thing I wanted to know now. How has he been handling his illness, he must be really sad, plus the fact that he’s not living with his family. I know how hard it is to be alone, but whatever he’s in is a lot different than mine.

We reached the front of his apartment. I know he’s been looking at me while he was steering the knob open. There was weary in his eyes. I feel sorry for him for making him feel worried about me. But, what have I to do.. I need to let this out, I’ve been feeling guilty since this morning.

“mind telling me what’s been bothering you?” he said as is propped on his sofa, I just sat beside him. I was the usual. I was stiff when he’s around. “I’m listening..” he mumbled as he placed his hands behind his head, and closed his eyes. He looked tired.

“Uhm..” I tried coming up with something.. but it seems like I became speechless and started shivering.

“Don’t worry..” He leaned closed to me, and I can feel the warmth of his breath on my neck as he whispered “we’re alone here.”

I wanted to push him away, but swear I don’t know why all my limbs felt like jelly. He hasn’t done anything, and I’m already melting. I felt my cheeks flush red, then I heard him chuckle.

“What I mean is..” he looks more serious now, I haven’t seen him so serious before but I can feel that he’s actually trying to make me feel comfortable around him. “I’ll be all ears.. I won’t tell anyone. You’ve gotta trust me.”

For a moment we were silently sitting on his sofa, I would steal glances at him. I had to do this right, I promised Hanna, plus who knows maybe he won’t get angry right? I then took a deep breath..

“I went out of line yesterday..” I mumbled while taking deep breaths.

“What?” he raised an eyebrow, “Don’t tell me that apart from me you’re also dating Lee-Joon” I saw him clench his fist. I smiled a bit, it really flatters me when he’s like this, jealous.

I wanted to reach for his hand that formed into a fist, but I tried not to. “No..” I said holding my laugh.

“Good..” he sounded more relaxed now, “’cause I can’t promise not breaking that pretty boy’s face.”

I just chuckled at him he’s too cute when he’s jealous.

“That’s not really it..” I let out a sigh, I felt nervousness surging up my spine, “I found out.. something about you..” I gulped a lump that had formed in my throat.

He’s now looking at me with confusion in his eyes, “What did you find out?” he asked calmly..

“You.. ”I slapped my forehead in frustration, my heart was pounding really hard on my ribcage.

Whatever it is that’s causing me to panic made Baro a little tensed. I can’t even paint his expression, but he reached for my hand, as if he was trying to encourage me to go on.

“I followed you to the hospital.. I know I shouldn’t, but.. I still did.. I went to your doctor, and he told.” I said it. Finally! I almost did not breathe while I was telling him. I was trembling.

Baro’s eyes widened in surprise, he must have thought that I’m a stalker, one of the girls in the campus that can’t get over him. That I even took the liberty to follow him at the hospital. I felt pain when Baro looked down and tried his hardest to take in what I just said. I felt sorry for him, and I felt stupid for myself.

 I was hurt when he didn’t talk to me.. for the first time at least, I want someone to talk to me or say something.. he let go of my hand that he was holding and went to his fridge. He gulped water, and as I was staring at him, his expression is something I cannot decipher.

“B~” I tried to talk.. but I know if I talk more. He’s just gonna burst his anger on me. I don’t want that to happen. I’m too scared now to even make him angry.

He sat on his dining chair, brushing his hair, I know there’s frustration in his expression, but there’s something more. I felt a little guilty for having a big mouth. This can’t be happening I need to tell him I didn’t really intend on following him, and I know it was wrong that I did that..

“I’m sorry..” I said, almost a whisper. I thought I will be able to hold my tears, but too bad, I can’t. I placed my palms on my face then I started sobbing. I don’t know what else I can do.. but please, I don’t want him walking out my life because of the silly thing that I did.

“hey~ Hey~” He said softly as he crouched down in front of me. He tried to removed my hands from my face, “I’m not angry. Ok.” His eyes looking so sweet, as if he’s seeing through my soul.

He held my face to his palm and tried wiping my tears away with his thumb, “can’t I get a water?” he chuckled, “I’m sorry if you thought I was angry at you..”

“But.. I followed you to the hospital and.. I know you wouldn’t want me to know about your..” I gulped before saying “ca.. illness.. I know I have no right to do that.."

I saw his chest raised as he in deep air, “I’m not angry, so please, don't cry” he said in an almost pleading tone, “I’m glad Dr. Byun told you, I wouldn’t have the guts to tell it myself.” He said as he wrapped his arms around me. I buried my head on his chest and started sobbing again. “Ssshh” he hissed. “It’s ok.. there’s nothing for you to worry about.” One of his hand was gently trailing his fingers on my head.

“How..” I stuttered a little “How long..”

“How long have I been sick?” he continued my sentence while staring down at me. He held me tighter in his arms, somehow I felt like I had to prepare myself for the next words that he’s going to tell me. “I guess for a couple of years now..” he chuckled.

I can’t believe this person, he’s sick and he talks about it like it’s just something that he can get over with easily. I looked up to him still a little teary, “I want you to be serious about this..”

“I am..” he chuckled again.

“no, you’re not. You’re sick.. and you can still smile despite that..” I said almost scowling at him.

 He just stared down at me wearing a crooked smile. “I’m not like you.. I don’t sulk when something is bothering me..” he said as he let out a laugh after I pinched his side.

For a moment we stayed like that, he was holding me in his arms. I only felt comfort and safety. There was nothing else, after  a long silence he started talking..

“Three years..” he mumbled.. I realized my head from his shoulders.

“What?” my eyes widened in surprise, and though he sound sad, but when he saw me staring at him almost like crying again, he smiled.

“I left for Canada.. when we found out..” he let go of the hug we were sharing, but he was still holding my hand. As always his thumb will play circle around the back of my hand, and with that little gesture my heart started pounding wildly. “Did you know I’m a year ahead of you?”

My eyes furrowed in confusion.

“Apparently, yes..” he continued as if he could read my mind, “I’m with the same batch as Shinwoo, Sandeul, and Jinyoung were.”

So that’s why he knew those three. I thought at first he was really trying to get to them, to be part of the cool guys before my batch. When I entered the university, those three were already in their sophomore years. So he left for Canada, to get better. But what happened? Why is he still sick?

“Are you done putting all the puzzles together?” he asked looking so amused while I was staring at him.

“Yeah, I think.” I said then he chuckled again.

“Sometimes I think you’re so into me, that you can’t help but stare.” He said cockily as leaned his head on the sofa smiling like a devil.

My eyes furrowed and I wanted to protest. But then, deep inside I felt like he’s quite right about that. When I bumped into him for the first time, I really thought he was just something that came out of my dream. I must’ve looked silly in front of him, and he must be laughing his off because of that. My cheeks flush red remembering that.

“you don’t have to worry about me..” he whispered, I turned to look at him, and his eyes are still close, “If you want we can visit Dr. Byun together, he’s gonna tell you himself. Ok?” without opening his eyes I know that the smile he gave me was genuine and pure.

“Yeah” I said nodding my head, somehow I felt like a heavy load has been lifted from my shoulders.

“Good.” He said as he gave me a sweet smile. “You’ll come with me next week.” As he winked his eye on me. And with that, I can’t help but to feel a little special inside.

+++

It’s been a hell of a week for me. I know a have a lot of things that could make me feel good and happy, but this “lady” time that every girl experience every month is not making me feel better.  After I spent my whole afternoon at Baro’s apartment last Tuesday, I can’t help but to spend that same quality time with him. However, with my hormone spiking like this, I don’t think that would be a great idea. I would have a sudden mood swing, and no one has ever liked talking to a girl when she’s on her period.

I’ve been trying to talk to him, or at least spend just a moment with him in campus, but Ji-Hae is just too protective of him. There was a time when I wanted to just slap the reality out of her and tell her to back off, but I guess I have a great self-control. I just let her go.

It’s now Friday, I know I should be excited like everyone else because weekend is coming, and that means time to spend some time home alone. But, I’m not one to celebrate. I am walking at the corridor to my English class, I was wearing my signature oversized hoody. I was giving everyone that I pass by a death glare. And I know I earned too much attention because of the aura I have today.

“Hey~” I heard a familiar voice calling my attention, I know it’s Baro. Of all people that would see me like this. I didn’t talk to him, I’m not angry or anything, I just want him to back away and have my “lady” time in peace.

I didn’t answer. I just walked.

“Hey~~” I felt him grabbing me by one arm, he then pulled me to a hug. He hugged me not too tight, it was just enough to make me linger his touch. Then again my legs felt like jellies, someone I was glad he was holding me in his arms, because I might fall on my bum if he’s not.  I was shocked by what he did. I wasn’t even able to react. My heart was just hip hopping in my chest.

He leaned a little closer to me, “I missed you..” he said in a husky tone as he sniffed the scent of my shampoo. I know he was sincere when he said that. I missed him too.. I felt really sorry for him, I’ve been trying to ignore him because he might get a taste of my sudden mood swings.

“people are staring..” I said trying to push myself away from his hug. Then I heard him chuckle.

“Who cares?” he held me a little tighter then he let out a small smile.

“Baro~~” I said trying to protest. But, I don’t think my voice sounded like a protest at all, because it even encouraged him tighten his hug.

“Let’s walk together..” he said with a smile as he let go of the hug. And I swear, somewhere inside my head is saying that I want him to just hug me a little longer, he must have seen me frowning. He whispered, “Come to my apartment.. tomorrrow.”

My eyes furrowed in confusion, why not later after class? I mean my tremper is not that bad as it was the past few days, maybe I can hold off my sudden mood swings. I just wanted to make up for the time that we missed because Ji-Hae was practically around him the whole time. He must’ve read my expression, that he answered my question before I was able to voice it out.

“I’m going to have dinner with Ji-Hae, and her family, later tonight..” He said in a calm tone, trying to analyze my reaction as he tighten his grip on my hand. “I’m actually here to tell you that.”

I faked a smile on him. I know that he figured out what was going on in my head. He’s widely aware that I am not happy with how Ji-Hae was acting around him. Yeah, he told me that I shouldn’t be jealous about her, but dang! That girl is already way over her limits. Sometimes I wonder if Baro has mentioned to Ji-Hae that’s he’s technically dating me. That she has to control her urge in touching, or hugging Baro.

I’m trying my hardest not to snap in front of him. Because I don’t want this silly thing to be reason for a fight. I took deep breaths. But, I swear my hormones are spiking and it’s feeding my jealousy towards Ji-Hae, I know that one wrong move from Baro and I’m gonna snap and lose it.

“Her family is inviting me over for dinner.. you know.. to catch up.” He said, his voice sounds very cautious while clutching my hand.

Oh so, there he goes. He’s going to spend time with the family of the girl I’ve been so jealous about. Worse, with her family. I wouldn’t doubt if Ji-Hae's family will think they’re still together.

Just like that, I snapped, “go! Have fun. Don’t worry about me!” I scowled as I took my hand from his. I stomped my way to our English class.

I know I shouldn’t have said that but, there was nothing for me to do. I just have to voice it out. He knows I’m jealous of Ji-Hae and he just can’t see the fact that Ji-Hae had been showing her interest on him. I can’t believe how so naïve he can be. I sat at the far end of the class, not minding the stares I earned from my classmates when I kicked the door close.

 Baro was just right behind me. I hope Ms. Flay won’t find a good reason not to have a decent class today because I am not in the mood to talk to Baro. He sat by the window, a few moments later Ji-Hae arrived, she was giggling like a flirt she is when she saw Baro. There were times when Baro would steal glances at me, but I was not showing any emotion.

“Hey~~ are you okay?” Lee-Joon asked in a concerned tone, unlike before he was not wearing his signature smile. I saw Baro piercing a whole on Lee-Joon’s head as he stared at us.

“Do I look like I’m okay?” I scowled at him.

“Whoah!” he said as he raised his hands, “I’m not your enemy here..” he said as he sat beside me.

I took a deep breath not wanting to make any conversation with him. I know I’m angry at Baro, but that doesn’t mean I’ll try to make him feel even more jealous, I know he doesn’t like Lee-Joon. But, Lee-Joon was just too persistent. He can’t just close his big mouth.

“had a fight with him?” Lee-Joon whispered, he’s way too close to my ear than I wanted him to be. And I swear I wanted to push him away.

“Back off Lee-Joon, this is not your problem.” I said in an irritated tone.

“I’m just trying to help..” he said as he chuckled. Then I felt a pair of us glaring at us. I know it was Baro who’s been staring and I know he’s on the edge, and Lee-Joon is just pushing him even more.

“I swear you’re not helping..” I said rolling my eyes in frustration.

“You’re welcome.” He said as he flashed me his signature smirk. I made a face at him. He knows I’m never affected by his smirked, but other girls in campus would probably jump all over him if he flashes that smile to them.

“Oh~ yeah. I almost forgot, Mr. Carter will announce who got the big roles for the play.” Lee-Joon said in an excited tone.

“I’m not that excited.” I snorted at him.

“Trust me.. you did great during the audition” he said in a very assuring tone.

I just rolled my eyes on him.

And so the class with Ms Flay went on like, I don’t know, like a snail making its way across the highway? I felt like I was at the brink of getting hit by a car every time Baro turns his attention to me. He’d throw glances, as if he was trying to say something. However, I was too slow to understand. All I know is he hated the fact that I am hanging around Lee-Joon. So when the bell rang, I immediately stood up from my seat and went out of the classroom.

I went straight to the theater to attend my drama class, unfortunately for me, I have to spend an hour with Ji-Hae. And as far as I can remember, there was not a time when she doesn’t talk about Baro and how they have been together when they were still in Canada. Sometimes I feel like she’s doing it in purpose.

“D*amn it!” I said as I banged my head hard on the chair. I’m going crazy every single time I remember how I acted around Baro. I know I shouldn’t have acted like that. I guess I’ll try to make it up to him when I see him later for lunch.

I turned my attention to the door entrance to the theater that was open, my eyes furrowed when I saw Ji-Hae with Baro just outside the theater. Just like the usual he’d walk her to the theater, as always her hands are clung around his arm. Something stings in my heart, I had to admit.

“Leech..” I whispered to myself as I watch them. But deep inside me I can feel that searing pain of jealousy.

“Who, me?” I almost jumped in surprise when Lee Joon came up behind me, his voice startled me.

“What?” I muttered in frustration, “just.. forget about it.” I rolled my eyes and looked back at Baro who was staring at me as well. I don’t know how long that lasted but I can see that there’s something his eyes are telling me, it wasn’t anger or anything close to that. I was the one who looked away first.

“Hi, guys..” Ji-Hae joyfully greeted her, and I answered her with a fake smile.

Maybe this girl is just as naïve as Baro, can’t she somehow feel that I don’t like her? I mean, she hasn’t done anything wrong to me. But, the fact that she keeps wrapping her arms around Baro keeping him as he was hers makes me wanna pull her hair off.

Lee-Joon and Ji-Hae drifted off talking about how they hope to get at least the important roles in the play. I, on the other hand, doesn’t even care. I’ll get the role I deserve, that is a tree or being a part of the props preparation team, doesn’t matter. AS LONG AS I don’t get the lime light, I’m happy.

“Let’s start with the lead roles first.” Mr. Carter started the class with the announcement, and everyone became excited. Too excited, I guess.. some of my classmates are practically holding their hands together.

“Lee-Joon” He looked at the guy, who I think is the most excited among everyone, “You’re going to be the Phantom.” Mr. Carter beamed at him a happy smile, like he thinks Lee-Joon is the perfect guy for the role.

“Ji-Un” he’s even more excited than when he told Lee-Joon that the guy got the big role. “You’re Christine.” My eyes widened, and I swear to the universe I felt my eyes almost falling out of their socket.

“What?” I said in frustration, yes, I wasn’t happy. Actually, I don’t even want to be part of the acting team. “No, no, no.. I can’t. I’m not going to accept the role.” I protested, and I felt almost the stares are upon me. Now, I feel so small.

“Yes, you are.. and you’re going to play the part. I know you’ll be great!” Mr. Carter said in a firm voice, almost commanding.

I wanted to protest, and let out all the curse that my brain can come up with, but I just sat there. Dumbfounded, stone-like. I don’t know what to say. I’m not thrilled because I got the role. I am in disbelief because this is going to ruin my last year in college. I am doomed to forever humility. Now, where is the invincibility cloak of Harry Potter, I need it badly. Great~!

Ji-hae got the role of Carlotta, the lead singer before my role. And I swear I can see in her eyes that she was happy that I got the role. But, I can feel like I have been deceived to this thing. Mr. Carter continued distributing the roles among everyone.  Lee-Joon and I need to spend more time together if we want to perfect our roles, I also need to attend singing lessons with him. Singing lessons, made me wanna vomit. I never really thought that the genre of my voice is something that Mr. Carter will admire. And to tell you honestly, if I were a singer no one can decipher what genre I am singing, because I big time at singing.

Next thing I knew, the bell rang to signal lunch break..

I feel so exhausted and frustrated that I even ignore the invitation of Lee-Joon to have lunch with him so we can talk about our schedule for practices. I’d rather be somewhere else than do this sh*t. Somewhere safe,far.. Somewhere I can sulk, and be alone.

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A/N:

Hi everyone! it's nice to update again. I hope you like this part. I'm sorry if I made Ji-un a little too hard headed today. She has her period anyway HAHA:) Keep reading!

love lots xoxo :*