BARO’S POV

Liar. Liar. You're such an awful liar. 

These were words that have been stuck in my head for two weeks. I can't believe I did that to her. I can't even find a word to describe how broken my heart was, I don't even have to see it to know it, she was crying. And, I know I could've run to her, held her again, and tell her I didn't mean those things. But, I can't. 

The sooner I stop this, the easier for her and me to move on. But, I had to be honest, I think about her every single minute. I could be a masochist for doing this. It's hard ignoring her in campus, and holding myself from sending her a message or giving her a call. 

For the last two weeks, I've been trying so hard to ignore her, but the harder I try the more I see her often. I would usually see her glance at me, but I was always the first one to look away. She tried to approach me one time because we needed to talk about our project but I made an alibi, deep inside I wanted to spend time with her, talk about anything with her, just as long as I'm with her. 

What can I do? Jinyoung was right. I was being selfish. She doesn't deserve everything I did and said to her. Now, here I am feeling so annoyed at myself, I have skipped my medication and Hanna was furious about it, I don't even care anymore. 

"What is wrong with you?" Sandeul came barging in to my apartment, scolding me about what I did to Ji-Un, "I can't believe you could stoop this low!" He said furiously running down his fingers through his hair. Believe me I can’t believe I did that to her either.

 I was sitting down on my sofa flicking through channels while listening to Sandeul's rant. "Just.. Leave me alone." I was just in the mood, I just want to be alone.

Sandeul then grabbed the tv’s remote from my hand and pressed the off button, "You listen to me." He said while flicking his finger to me.

I raised my brow at him, starting to get annoyed because he's acting like my mother again, "what?" I said with an uninterested tone.

He let out a deep sigh before saying, "I saw her." He’s little calmer now.

"So what?" I replied trying to sound like I dont care, but I do care what he would say about Ji-Un.

"What do you mean what? She was here, I saw her here before I came up!" Sandeul took a deep breath before continuing, “Did you let her wait outside?” he said with an accused tone. 

I looked at him, I was getting a little annoyed now. I could never let Ji-Un wait for me, nor did I know she was outside, “I didn’t know she came. And I don’t care.” Lie.

He rubbed his face with his palm, "I think she wanted to see you."

I turned to look at him again. She was supposed to see me? I took a deep breath before saying, "well, I didn't see her." and I hope I did.

He let out a frustrated sigh, "I know." Sandeul sat beside me, "She was too scared to see you, 'cause you might push her away again."

I then rested my back on the backrest of my sofa, "That's not even a good excuse for not coming up and telling me what she needs." Why didn't she come up? I could've fixed this- this thing between us.

Sandeul rolled his eyes, I know he's getting annoyed even more "Dude! She's had too much beating from you."

I turned my head to look at him, "what do you mean by that?"

"Obviously, you've been ignoring her." He took a deep breath before continuing, "you said it yourself, she's too vulnerable, and you've pushed her too far." 

"Isn't this what you all want?" I snapped at him, "all of you were against my idea of going out with her though you all know that I really liked her! Hell, you all even tried to keep us apart by accepting an internship offer in the campus!" All of them doubted that she would accept me despite me beings sick, and now they are all worrying how I will tell Ji-Un about my biggest reason why I came back.

Sandeul's expression softened, he looked sorry, "that's because we were- just worried about you-" I was furious now, “we never did anything did we?”

"Shut up!" I stood up from the sofa, "We've had this conversation before, We're not gonna talk about this again." I remember the time when I had a little argument with Jinyoung. Everyone knows my reasons for leaving Korea, and then coming back again.

"everyone was worried about you." Sandeul said making me stop in the middle of my way to my room, "I know she's worried about you too." 

I took breaths upon remembering Ji-Un again, She still worries about me even if I had pushed her away. "You know nothing." I said in a low tone without looking.

Sandeul then raises his head while raising his brow at me, "oh really? What if I tell you she was crying alone in the library the other day? And today while looking down at this damn phone?" Sandeul propped up as he slammed the phone I gave to Ji-un on the coffee table, "she asked me to give this back." 

Ji-Un was crying, all this time I thought she was fine because she's been spending time with Lee-Joon and the others, I still hated seeing them together. But, why would she be crying in the library and give my phone back? Does this mean she's ready to move on and forget about everything? 

I shook my head furiously, I actually asked her to forget about everything and ignore me, but why do I feel like it's not what I really wanted? 

“I just hope you’re not yet that too late to get her back.” Sandeul let out a deep sigh, "I'll talk to you when you're done being a jackarse." He started walking to the door, "your birthday is coming, we're planning on celebrating it here in your apartment, and Ji-Un is invited." He said then slammed my apartment door behind him before I could protest.

I paced in my living room while staring down at the coffee table where the cellphone was. I flopped on my sofa while rubbing my temple with my fingers, I can feel the headache coming again. I missed my medication on purpose, well who cares I've skipped it for six months before taking it again, and guess what I'm still alive. I was wearing my headset, but the music was off. I am practically shortening my life, or killing myself in purpose.

But then I remembered her, my only reason why I wanted to get well and fight this illness again. I placed my arm on top of my eyes as tears started peeking at the back of them. Sometimes I ask God why I didn’t get the chance to meet her before, why just now?

I've learned so much about Ji-Un from Shinwoo-hyung. I learned that she's running for honors, they said she was often in the library helping the librarian whenever she’s free. Although she was never bullied, some girls freak out when they see her because she never talked to anyone. Then I learned her reasons, I got closer to her, I felt her loneliness and realized she needed me as much as I needed her.

Everyone was just against my liking of Ji-Un, they said I would just cut her out of her own world, shake her from her shell, and take her from her safe box. Little do they know, she did those things to me. I was giving up my life, it was actually on a bargain. But she was there; she gave me a wake-up call.

And when I felt like wanting to tell her everything about me, I learned about her deepest secret. She was always left alone, always an outcast. That’s when I chicken out, I decided I don’t deserve her at all. She was doesn’t deserve someone who’s going to leave her anyway.

+++

JI-UN’S POV

I can’t believe I’m crying again. It’s been two weeks since the last time we talked, but it felt like it was just yesterday. Everything he said just kept ringing and ringing in my head. I am at the library, I know it’s not appropriate to cry here given that the last time I decided to sulk Sandeul saw me. I’m out of breath from sobbing, I went to his apartment yesterday to give his phone back but I was too scared to be humiliated again.

I guess he was laughing at me right now after I chased him to his apartment that day hoping he would still want to be with me or even talk to me. He must have thought I have such a thick face to show myself in front of his door step, I was just lucky that Sandeul was there, unfortunately I was crying like a stupid girl on a phone. I hit my head with my fist while crying at the thought of it.

I was crouching on the chair while crying, my knees were pulled up to my chest while my head was resting on them.  Who would’ve thought I could cry this much? I pity myself because I felt like I was the only who’s feeling awful about everything. I’ve been seeing Baro spending most of his time with Ji-Hae. I would often glance at them, though I hated the view I just can’t help it. If I could just run like baby while crying whenever I see them together, I could’ve done it. I cried even harder just imagining the both of them laughing while having lunch at the canteen.

Then I felt something soft nudging the side of my arm, I frowned holding my tears when it dawned to me that someone has seen me crying again, god, I would definitely have bloodshot eyes again. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand before raising my head to look at the ‘thing’ that was nudging me.. it’s a white handkerchief.

I took a deep breath before raising my gaze to the person who was handing me the hanky… it was the person behind all the tears that I had cried for the past weeks. Seeing him here makes me want to cry even more… it’s Baro. I bit my lower lip as I looked away from him. What’s he doing here? Of all the people, it could’ve been someone else. But deep in my heart I know I was happy to see him here.

I heard him let out a sigh, “just please get the hanky..” he said in an almost pleading tone, “My arms are getting numb.”

I stared at him and then looked away before taking the hanky from his hand, I didn’t even dare use it to dry my tears. Please just go, I don’t want you seeing me like this. Or if you want to laugh, start laughing now and when you’re done can you just please walk away and pretend you didn’t see me here.

“I’m not going to laugh at you.” He said as he pulled a chair to sit beside me.

My eyes widen in surprise, Did I say that out loud?

“Yes you did..” he replied in a low husky tone, he sounded a bit amused.

I pursed my lips, preventing myself from blurting anything unnecessary to make this situation even worse.

There was a moment of silence between us before he let out another sigh, “listen Ji-Un~ I.. I just want to say--” he trailed off..

My heart was pounding really hard in my chest, my brain was telling it to stop but I guess it just gets really stubborn when Baro is around, I can’t take another heartbreaking words from him again.“Please don’t say you love me ‘cause I might not~~” I slapped my mouth as it uncontrollably sang a line from a song, and guess what it chose a love song, way to go making the situation even more awkward.

When I looked at Baro, who was stunned for a moment before his eyes gave me the same old feeling I missed for the past two weeks, “What if I do?” he said with a firm voice.

I blinked at him a few times, What does he mean by that? I am really confused right now. So, before I get even more confused, I straightened myself up and turned my back at him, he was just looking at me.

I didn’t even get the chance to get just a step forward because he was quicker, he held my arm and pulled to stop, “Ji-Un..” he said as he swallowed hard, “I~ I~ just come with me..” he said as he started walking while pulling me with him.

I had to admit, the feel of his hand holding my arms send jolts of electricity through my spine. He’s the only person I know who could do that. “Yah~ Yah~” I protested in a low tone because we were in the library, and I don’t want to start another commotion for people to talk about.

I tried my hardest to pull my arm from his grip, but he was too strong. “there’s no use to fighting, babe.” He said while looking at me smiling. I rolled my eyes in disbelief, though I like him calling me babe again, I felt I just made myself even more look like a fool. He practically told me to leave him alone, now he’s here pulling me to come with him.

This boy is too difficult to handle.

Strangely enough I wasn’t as upset as I previously thought I would be. I guess I love him too much for me to hate him. When we got to his care, he opened the passenger seat for me and technically pushed me in and buckled my seatbelt. I took a deep breath when I smelt the familiar scent of his.

 I guess Baro noticed that he still affects me whenever he’s near, so he raised his head and paused in front of my face giving us only few inches to breathe. He was looking at me as if he was searching for my soul, and I can’t help but to just take deep breaths as my heart started pounding like crazy on my chest. He smirked at me before giving a safe distance between us. I took one deep breath as he closed the passenger seat door.

He started driving to wherever he wants to take me, he didn’t even bother tell me where we’re going. I was just sitting in the passenger seat clueless. Then I gathered all my courage and took a deep breath before saying, “What are you up to this time?” I said trying so hard to make myself sound angry.

“Just relax, we’ll just eat lunch.” He smiled sheepishly,

I gave him an unsure look, “I have~” I tried to think of an alibi, “uhm~ I have drama class.’ I mumbled as the words came out of my mouth.

Baro then raised his brow without looking at me, “Trying to outsmart me huh~?” he said while wearing an amused smile, “You don’t have drama class today, your professor was sick.”

I turned my attention to the window, trying my hardest not to let him see my cheeks as it turned into the color of a tomato. How did he know that? Yes, Mr. Carter is sick, and he’s not going to be around for next few days. Okay, I give up.

“Don’t worry, no one will see us there.” Then turned his attention on the road, “no one’s gonna make a story about us getting back together after~” he trailed off.. and I myself bit my lip hoping he wouldn’t mention the thing that messed everything up.

I didn’t say anything after that, I just stayed quiet as he drove us to the place where he was planning to have lunch. He parked in a pizza parlor that was at town next to ours, it was not that far. We entered the place, and I felt like I wanted to eat everything as my mouth started watering on the menu that the waitress just handed us.

I gotta admit this is a nice place, “Not bad~” I complimented as I raised my head to meet his gaze. He’s been staring at me the whole time, and I know he saw how my eyes sparkle at the food on the menu.

He raised his head on the air, feeling a little proud of himself. For a minute I wanted to take back what I already said.

“Anything for you, babe..” he smirked,

“Oppa~” to my dismay, the awful owner of the voice was already here in this place, why does she have to be everywhere. I raised my head to look at her, Ji-Hae was not alone she’s with Lee-Joon. I looked at Ji-Hae as she acknowledged my presence, “Hi Ji-Un~”

“Hi~” I said as I looked at her. Ji-Hae scooted beside Baro and clung her arms around his, maybe he brought me here to tell me they got back together and are now official couples. I could be wrong, but Baro was not budging or even removing his arms from hers. The sight only broke my heart that has already been turned to ashes.

When I felt like Lee Joon hasn’t taken a seat, I just invited him to seat beside me since it was the only vacant spot. “have a seat.” I said while gesturing to the chair that was beside me.

I saw Baro’s fist clench and his jaw tighten, for a moment I saw anger from his eyes. I felt like he still hates seeing us together, though I made it clear that I don’t want anything to do with Lee Joon. Right then and there I wanted to scoot out and leave the place. But, I thought of the food.. I can’t give up the food just because the leech is here.

I was just staring at Ji-Hae who was so busy taking up the inexistent space between her and Baro, “Oppa~ let’s watch a movie later, we can also have dinner at your favorite diner.” She said nudging him closer.

Baro’s brows furrowed, and I knew he was kind of getting a little annoyed already, “Ji-Hae~” he paused for a moment as he tried to remove her arms from his “I think I gave you the wro-wrong impression.”

I smirked a little upon seeing Ji-Hae’s expression, her jaw dropped in surprise and I can’t even explain her reaction. I wanted to kiss Baro for doing that, but I guess he was a bit a little too late, he could’ve done that when he was still dating me.

But then I saw how Ji-hae’s face turned from a defeat expression to a determined one. She is one tough girl. No wonder Baro liked her, because Ji-hae compared to me was a fighter. She held firm even if he told her that she got the wrong idea, I on the other hand walked out, did what he wanted and just accepted it.

Feeling a little more remorseful about how a sore loser I am I stood up to go to the washroom, “I’ll just go to the washroom.” I bid to them.

I only stayed there for a few minutes, I just wanted to get away from Baro and Ji-hae. I washed my hands, and fixed my eyes, trying to remove the tears that had almost stream down my cheeks. I walked my way to the washroom and to my surprise, there was Lee joon waiting for me outside.

“hey.” He said in a low unsure tone while wearing a small smile, “want me to take you back to school?”

I guess he was just in the right place at the right time, I couldn’t stay any longer with Ji-hae and Lee Joon must’ve noticed it. I just looked at the ground for a moment, I guess Baro wouldn’t mind right? Plus, ji-Hae was there with him to eat the food that we ordered.

“You know..” Lee joon started, “What I told you before.. ” my eyes furrowed at him in confusion, “If you ever get over him, I’ll still be here.” I know he was sincere when he said that, but I don’t feel the same way about him.

In fact, I will never feel the same way I did with Baro.

I just nodded at him, before saying, “can you just take me back to school?”

We walked back to where Baro and Ji-Hae was seated, I can see the anger searing through Baro’s eyes. I know he hated Lee-Joon and nothing has changed even if we are technically not dating anymore. Remembering the things that he said I bid him goodbye.

“I ~uh~” I tried to think of a get out alibi, “We need to practice for the play~” I rumbled for the words.  Baro looked at me with intensity while raising his brow.

He did not say anything though, so I just turned my back at him and before I started walking I looked over my shoulders and said, “I’ll talk to you soon.”

I asked Lee-Joon to drive me to my dorm instead. I gave him the direction, and he was able to send me there safe. We didn’t talk while we were on our way to my dorm, I guess that was enough for him to know that I don’t want to lead him on and we’re only going to be friends. 

The only thing that was occupying my mind was Baro’s almost confession in the library. I know I got a little hint about what he was trying to say, but seeing Ji-Hae at the Pizza parlor clinging around Baro, made me doubt about my hypothesis.. He couldn’t have meant that he love me right?

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A/N:

What can you say about this chap? This chap wasn't supposed to be written like this, but I thought why not? HAHA 

I was kind of sleepy, but I did tried my best to write a good chap for my dear readers. I'll proofread it tomorrow. Promise. :)

Love lots. Enjoy reading :P