*Jieun's POV*

“So.... any update with you and Myungsoo?”

I was busy looking at the yearbook of the last year’s graduation batch when Jiyeon suddenly asked me a question that she doesn’t usually ask me.

I looked up and saw her with a small smile on her face as she waits me to answer her question.

“Why’d you suddenly ask about me and Myungsoo? That’s…new.”

Jiyeon sighed. We are both sitting on the floor with few boxes and pile of documents surrounding us. She moved a little closer to me, moving aside a medium sized box.

“Have I ever told you who my boyfriend was?”

She didn’t have to tell me to know who her boyfriend is. But she never told me directly that it was Jongup.

“No. You never did.”

“It’s Moon Jongup. We both know who he is. Jieun, I know you know that he is my boyfriend. But more than that, I know that he’s your ex.”

I suddenly felt heavy. I never wanted Jiyeon to know that I know everything that she just told me now. Jiyeon is a good friend of mine and I know how happy she is with Jongup. I don’t know how my past with Jongup could affect her but I know that it might never be good that’s why I never opened it to her.

“How did you know about that?” I asked with full caution.

“You know, Jongup and I won’t work out if we’re not completely honest with each other.”

“Jiyeon, I-I’m sorry I never told you. I-“

“Jieun, it’s ok. You don’t need to explain. Jongup already told me your story and I should be the one who’s saying sorry.  I’m sorry, Jieun. I never knew that my happiness caused you great pain. I’m really sorry.”

I shook my head. I never felt that Jiyeon should be sorry for my break-up with Jongup. What I had with Jongup was a secret in the first place. No one is supposed to know it and its Jongup’s choice to love someone that is not me. And it’s not Jiyeon’s fault that she loved a man who’s having a secret relationship with someone.

“Actually, Jongup wants me to tell you that he’s also sorry and he’s hoping that one day, you’ll find in your heart to forgive him.”

I smiled a bit and nod my head. “I know I will, Jiyeon.”

Jiyeon smiled back. “Thank you, Jieun. So how are Myungsoo and you?”

“I… Jiyeon, I really don’t know. I know that there’s something already. But, I don’t want to be hasty in regards to our feelings. This is something that I really want to be sure.”

“I know that Myungsoo’s not your ideal pretty boy gentleman but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not about if he’s the ideal type but it’s about the feeling that he’s giving you. Has he been sticking in your head even before you go to sleep? Does he make your heat skip a beat? Or are you now not used to him not being near you? But most especially, does he make you feel that you are loved?”

I fell silent to Jiyeon’s words.

“Even if Myungsoo’s a troublemaker, I don’t think he would cause any trouble to your heart.”

***

That night, I found myself calling Jongup.  I’m actually surprised that I haven’t deleted his number. After a few rings, he finally pick up.

“Yoboseyo?” He sounds so nervous. I want to laugh.

“There’s nothing for you to be so tensed, Jongup.”

He chuckled. “I don’t know. Maybe Myungsoo would get jealous if he finds out that we’re talking right now.”

I was surprised. “You knew about Myungsoo?”

“Of course I do. How wouldn’t I? He stormed in and punched me after the sports fest telling me to stay away from you.”

My eyes grew wide in shock. “He did what!?”

I heard Jongup swear in a whisper. “I shouldn’t have told you that. Just pretend I didn’t tell you anything. Anyway, why did you called?”

I put my astounded feelings aside for a bit and got back to the main reason why I called Jongup.

“I just called to tell you that I have already forgiven you Jongup. I already did a long time ago.”

There was a pause before he answered back. “Thank you. Thank you very much, Jieun.”

I smiled. “You’re welcome. That’s all, Jongup.”

“Jieun.”

I waited for him to continue what he will say.

“Now that you have forgiven me, I hope that you can already open your heart. Especially to Myungsoo.”

***

“Do I love him yet?”

“Or not?”

“I’m going crazy!”

I have been talking to myself in front of the mirror for an hour already. After my phone call with Jongup, my newly discovered happening of Myungsoo punching Jongup after the sports fest resurfaced in my mind.

Has Myungoo gotten crazy? He doesn’t have to do that. I know, I cried because of Jongup and he even told me that he won the championship for me but all of those are enough for me. He didn’t have to physically hurt Jongup.

Does he really love me that much?

I felt my heart suddenly beating fast. Then I remembered what Jiyeon told me.

“It’s not about if he’s the ideal type but it’s about the feeling that he’s giving you. Has he been sticking in your head even before you go to sleep? Does he make your heat skip a beat? Or are you now not used to him not being near you? But most especially, does he make you feel that you are loved?”

Then happenings with Myungsoo flashed in my head—The Sports Fest, the Christmas Concert and our own Graduation Ball up in the rooftop. I remembered how my heart beat so fast while doing the Nagging performance with him. I remembered the feeling of his hands intertwined with mine and the shiver that ran through my spine as he placed his lips on my forehead. Never in my life did someone draw me a mural. Never did someone tell me that he is scared because I am crying. Never in my life did I felt afraid the way Myungsoo’s incident feared me.

Never in my life did someone waited for me like Myungsoo did.

He’s not even my boyfriend but he even did a lot for me more than Jongup did.

I wasn’t even giving him tangible affections but he made me feel so special more than Chanhee did.

I am his complete opposite but he always tries his best to show me that we are meant to be together.

Whatever Myungsoo did is just to prove to me that he really does love me.

“I hope I don’t have to tell you what you should have realized earlier.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m your conscience. It took you how many chapters before you realize all of these things. I thought you were smart.”

“Excuse me?” How is it possible that my own conscience is insulting me?

“Go ask the author of the story if you’re still not convinced that you lo-“

“Sshh! I don’t have to do that, ok? I’m now fully aware of what I’m feeling.”

“I have fallen in love with Kim Myungsoo.”

FINALLY! :D

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! And please please do leave comments! I really appreciate them ^_^

lovelots,

matoki_angel